I'm sorry.

At one point I had fallen asleep in Remus's arms. I don't know much after that. But what happened next was something else.

The feeling of water falling on my face had me waking up in the middle of the woods. I mean I was still in bed but in the middle of the fucken woods.

"What the hell?" Jumping off the bed, I found myself barefooted. The cold from the forest floor sweeping into my body. Walking deeper into the woods, I was in awe with the beauty. The sun was just breaking past the horizon, casting a red/orange glare. The morning mist adding a hauntingly beautify. "Am I dreaming? I mean I have to right."

"Athena?"

I froze. It can't be. There is no bloody way.

"Athena."

It's a trick of my mind. Don't turn around. It's not real.

"Please, look at me love."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you are dead!" Those words alone were enough to bring me to my knees. "You are not here."

'But he can.'

I snapped my head up, coming face to face with a large snake. 'W-who are you?'

'My name is Nagini.' She slithered closer to me. 'We have been talking for quite some time now.'

'The voice in my head has been you?!' Yes, nodded her head slowly. 'What do you want?'

'To help you.'

Something was off. 'Help me?'

She slithered around my legs, coming up to rest her head on my shoulder. 'I know a way of bringing him back.'

'He's dead.' I whispered. 'Nothing can bring back the dead.'

'Ahh, but he isn't really dead.' She hissed. 'He would have been dead, should he have passed the veil. His soul is simply trapped.'

'What?! How?!'

'Whoever was the one to hit him with the spell, holds his soul in their wand.' Her tongue flickered on my cheek. 'Break that wand and his soul will be released, but it will come with a price.'

'I don't care what I have to do or give.' I growled. 'Where can I find her?'

'Malfoy manor.' Nagini slithered herself over my shoulder, moving a few feet away. She stopped at a pair of pale feet. 'Follow him.'

I knew who it was. The pale bare feet. The long raggedy black robe. My eyes drifted up the form, locking eyes with ghostly blue ones. Voldemort. Deep down I knew he wasn't looking to hurt me. He would have done that already. "What do you want?"

"I want to help you, child." He grinned. "I can give you back what you wish the most."

"Why would you want to help me?" I asked.

He walked closer to me, standing about a foot away. "You are a special child Athena." He held his hand out to me. "Come with me and I will return your precious wizard back. But I will want something in return."

I held my hand in a clenched fist. "What?"

"Your loyalty." He growled. "In exchange for Black's soul, I want your loyalty to me."

"I-" I dropped my gaze to the forest floor. A small rollie pollie catching my attention as it scurried away. In getting Sirius back, I would have to stand by Voldemort. Fight for his cause. Follow his law. But Sirius would be back. Harry wouldn't be alone anymore. His family would be back. Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand and placed it in his. His touch was even colder than the forest floor. "I accept."

"I knew you would." Holding onto my hand tightly, he pulled me into his side.

In an instant, we appeared into a large house. If I was correct this was the Malfoy manor. "What are we doing here?" I looked down at myself, to see I was no longer in a dream. I was physically here. Still wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

"Doing my part of the deal." Voldemort hissed.

I looked up at hearing the sound of rapid footsteps coming towards us. Lucius, his ex-wife, and Draco appeared before us. By the look on their faces, they were not expecting me.

Lucius has the stupidest look on his face, gaping like a blobfish out of water. "My lord?"

"Where is Bella?" Voldemort asked.

Lucius stuttered to come up with an answer. "S-she is, I am not sure my lord."

"Then find her!"

"Y-yes, sir." Instead of doing so, he ordered Draco and Cissy to go search for her. "My lord, should I take her to the holding cells?"

"You can try fucker." I snaked.

Voldemort chuckled. "Feisty little witch isn't she."

"Yes, indeed she is." Lucius grumbled, clearly not liking the attention his lord was giving me.

I knew Lucius wouldn't dare anything against me. Not while he was here. I still didn't understand what was so special about me. Why was he so hell-bent on making me his follower? There were many stronger witches and wizards that would gladly join his cause. I wasn't one of them. I was just doing this for Sirius, but what did the truly mean. In case this does actually work, I will have to stay away from Harry and the others. At least until I can find a way out of this. Anything for Sirius is worth what I have to go through.

"My lord!" Bella came running down the hall, taking his hand and kissing it gently. Her gaze fell upon me, narrowing her crazy eyes. "It seems you have caught Athena Black, my dear cousins' widow."

I had told myself I will keep control of my anger. But seeing her stand there, without a care in the world caused me to snap. It felt as if the chain holding me back, had finally snapped. The side I never wanted to show had been freed. Grabbing my wand, I aimed it at the witch. Bella fell to the group withering in pain. I was solely focused on causing her as much pain as I could. Kill her if possible. I could hear the laughter of Voldemort. Lucius yelling to stop. But I cared for none of that. 'You will pay for what you did! I will never forget!' Suddenly I was pulled away, breaking the spell. Looking at the person who dared interrupt me, I was surprised to see Draco. "If you don't wish to end up like her, let me go."

Draco released me immediately, scrambling to his feet. "The curse is illegal to use!"

"So is murder!" I yelled. "She will pay one way or another." Stalking towards her once more, I was blocked by Voldemort.

"As much as I enjoy seeing someone in pain, I can't have you killing off my followers." He gave me a pointed look. "You will have your chance, but for now behave yourself."

I clenched my wand, stuffing it back into its holder. "I don't follow orders from you."

"Yet." He hummed, walking towards Bella. The witch had yet not awakened. It appeared she had passed out from the pain. Grabbing her wand, he held it out for me. "My part of the deal."

"So, what, just break it?" I took the wand, getting a cold shiver at touching it. How many lives has this wand taken?

"Yes."

Grabbing the wand with both hands, I slammed it against my knee breaking it in half. I don't know what I was expecting. A hush of wind. Lighting. Perhaps a swarm of souls. Yet I got nothing, but broken wood I'm my hand. "That's it?"

"That's it." Voldemort held his hand out to me. "Now your part."

"No."

"We had a deal!" He growled.

"And I always keep my word!" I quickly dodged the attack he aimed towards me. "But I need to make sure he is back! I need to see him."

Voldemort seemed to understand the reasoning. "Very well. You have until midnight. Should you not be back, your wizard will be gone. For good this time."

Time jump:

I pushed past the door of Remus's home, running up to where I knew Sirius laid. Remus had left a letter on my bed informing me the viewing will be held at his place. Stopping just outside the door, I placed my hand on the handle. Apart of me wanted to rush in, see for my own eyes he was truly alive. But a bigger part of me was scared. Scared I would walk in and find him lifeless. I could bare the idea of seeing him like that again. Before I had the courage of opening the door, it was ripped open from the inside.

Remus jumped at seeing some standing there, but that didn't stop him from pulling me into a tight hug. "He's alive!"

"What?!" I pushed him off me, running to Sirius's side. "Sirius?" Touching his hand, I laughed. They were no longer cold. "Sirius, wake up." I watched in awe as he slowly blinked his eyes open. The same storm grey eyes I loved. "Sirius?"

He turned his head towards me, a grin appearing on his lips. "Hello, love."

I knew I probably looked like a mess but didn't give two shits at the moment. At that moment I lunge forward, pulling him into a deep kiss. I poured everything into the kiss, my emotions of his death, of his revival. I wanted to ensure he was truly back and not a trick of my imagination.

"Missed me that much?" He chuckled.

I rested my forehead on his, closing my eyes. "You have no idea how much. I thought I had lost you for good. I hated feeling that hopeless."

"I'm here now." Sirius whispered. "I am not going anywhere, not unless I can help it. Forgive me, love."

"For what?"

"I broke my promise." He pulled back, gazing into my eyes. "I left you. I failed to protect you. I should ha-"

I cut him off with a kiss, pulling him into a hug. God his arms felt amazing wrapped tightly around me. "I am just glad you are back."

"Sirius!"

We broke apart with a jump, finding Harry and the others staring in shock. Giving him a quick kiss, I moved away, allowing Harry to bulldozer his godfather in a hug. I knew I didn't have much time with them, I needed to go back. Had they been anyone else, it wouldn't have mattered. But I couldn't, not with the danger it would place them in. Place Harry. I know many of you are yelling at me and calling me stupid, but ask yourselves this. Would you have done the same? I would give my life for Sirius and everyone else I consider family. If having Sirius back, even if not by my side, for the time being, I will do what is asked of me.

"Athena?" Hermione whispered. "You alright?"

"Y-" I couldn't lie. Not to her. I needed to get it off my chest. "No."

Hermione took my hand in that moment, pulling me out of the room. She continued to haul me down the hallway until we reached her guest room. Locking the door behind us, she sat on the bed beside me. "What's wrong? I thought you would be tears and laughter at having Sirius back."

"I am, but...after tonight I won't be here anymore." I muttered. It was best to be straightforward with here "Bringing Sirius back has come with a price. A deal I gave my word to."

"Athena, what are you talking about? What deal?"

"In order to get Sirius's soul back, I have agreed to pledge my loyalty to vo-"

"No!" Hermione jumped to her feet, pointing a finger at me. "You cannot be serious! How can you do something so stupid?!"

"It was the only choice I had at saving him!"

"Athena, you cannot do this. There has to be another way."

I shook my head. "There is no other way. What is done is done."

Taking a seat beside me, she took my hand in hers. "So, what now?"

"Now, we continue to fight. Only this time we are-"

"On opposite sides." She whispered.

I scoffed, grabbing her chin I forced her to look at me. "I may be stuck on their side, but I will never do anything that will harm you, Harry, or anyone else. I will find a way to break out of this pact. I will still try and help you three in any way I can, but Hermione you will be the only one who will know of this."

"What about Harry? Sirius?!" She yelped. "They need to know. They ca-"

"Cannot know." I emphasized each word. "I need them to stay focused on destroying Voldemort. They can't be worrying about me. I will be fine, for some reason Voldemort is hell-bent on me. Not sure why. I will leave Sirius a letter, but Harry and the others, not a-"

"Word." She huffed in defeat. "This is a bloody mess, Athena."

"I know, but at least I have Sirius back." I muttered. "I will be sending letters to both of you whenever I can."

"School?" Hermione asked.

I hadn't thought about that. "I don't know. We will cross that bridge when it comes to. For now, I need to handle the worst to come."

"Sirius?"

"Sirius."

A knock on our door had us jumping. Hermione rolled her eyes. "Who is it?"

"Athena Sirius is asking for you." Harry called out.

"Be right there." Sharing a look with Hermione, I made my way back. Walking into the room, I found Sirius changed and ready to go. "Where the hell do you think you are going?"

"I am not going to lay in bed all day love." Sirius chuckled.

"Didn't you just come back from the dead?"

Walking over to me, he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Not even death could keep me away from you." Leaning down he kissed me softly, resting his forehead against mine. "The moment I was hit, all I could think about was you. The thought of never being able to see you, touch you, kiss you was slowly driving me insane." He had no idea just how much those words were hurting me right now. "I don't ever want to go through that again."

"I am sorry." I didn't know what else to say or do. I couldn't promise to never leave. It broke my heart all over again to know I was going to cause him pain. But the first chance I get, I am running back into his arms. "I love you."

We spent making love that day, showing each other our love once more. A love strong enough to withstand anything. Or so I hope so. Sirius was extra slow and loving tonight, making the wonderful feeling last as long as possible. I never knew you could fall in love all over again with the same person.

Later that night I stood by the bed, clutching the letter in my hand. I don't know how long I stood there, but no matter how much I tried I couldn't move. I couldn't stretch my arm out and place the letter. The moment I did, it all became real. The little world in which Sirius and I were living at the moment, was about to sink. Glancing at the clock I had no time to spare. Forcing myself to move, I placed the letter on the nightstand, along with the blood ring. Leaning down slowly, I gave him a ghostly kiss.

"I hope you can understand why I must do this. I love you Sirius Black and no one, not even death will ever change that."

Giving him one last glance, I creeped out of the room and down the hallway. I was careful not to make too much noise. The last thing I wanted was to wake anyone up. Stepping out of the house, I was hit with a cold gush of wind. The night seemed extra cooler than normal. The sky was clear of any clouds and stars, nothing but a black sheet covering over us. The moon held itself proud in the sky, giving us just a little bit of light. Shrugging my bag higher up my shoulder, I began my walk to hell.

Walking into the Malfoy Manor I was surprised to find people. Well, if you can even call them people. Pushing past the crowd of death eaters, I came to a stop at the front of Voldemort. 'I can't even drop my bag before dealing with this nose less ass.'

"You have come back." He grinned.

"Did I have an option not to?" I tossed my bag to a nearby couch, ignoring the look of the man I hit.

Voldemort hummed, shaking his head. "No, I suppose you didn't." Grabbing my shoulder, he turned me to face the crowd of followers. "I have asked you all to come tonight to welcome our newest follower." Did he do this for every new follower? "Give me your hand." Doing as he ordered, Voldemort was handed a knife. Without warning, he sliced the palm of my hand. He did the same to him and united our palms. His blood now ran through my veins, untied with mine. By the whispers and murmuring of the others, this wasn't something he usually did. Bella came up to us, waving her wand around our hands. A red thread line appeared, tying itself around creating a blood pact-union.

Knowing I had a part of his in me, had me gagging in disgust. 'I am going to need a cleanse.'

Bella leaned in closer to my ear. "We knew you'd fall sooner or later."

"Come any closer and you will be spending the rest of your life as a fuken cockroach." I growled, shoving her away.

Before she could retaliate, Voldemort stood between us. "Behave yourselves. There will be time to kill each other later."

"Yes, my lord." Bella threw me a murderous look, clearly warning me.

"Yeah." Not wanting to be in the same room as them, I walked out for some fresh air. Taking in a deep, I took a seat on the steps. "Fuck, I screwed up royally. Please forgive me."

"Athena?"

"Ian?!"

With Sirius:

Sirius woke up having felt the warmth of Athena gone. "Athena?" Getting no response, he sat up in bed turning the light on his nightstand on. "Athena?" The envelope caught his attention, reaching for it, he recognized his name written in her handwriting. Seeing Athena's blood ring on the side, had him ripping the letter out.

Sirius,

By the time you read this, I won't be there anymore. I am fine, I promise you I am. I want to start off by telling you, I love you with every fiber of my being. But I have made a deal with the devil.

Sirius, seeing you dead in front of me was the worst. I couldn't imagine my life without it. I didn't want to imagine my life without you. You have become my life source in such a short time. My strong pillar I can lean on. The only place I feel safe and love is in your arms. Your kisses are the life I need to go on. Your scent is my home. You are my home. So, when I was given the chance to bring you back I took it. To hell with the consequences. I will never regret what I did and have to do, not if it means you are alive and well.

I cannot tell you who or what the deal was. I can't have you coming to look for me. You and the rest of the order need to focus on stopping them. I will be away for some time, but please know I will always be thinking of you. I know you probably angry and confused. Probably even hate me, and I understand if you do. I would too. Causing you pain and hurt was the last thing I wanted. Forgive me.

Forever yours Athena Black.

Sirius read over that letter more times than he could remember. Clutching it in his fist, he fought to stop the tears. A part of him knew she had to have good reason to do what she was doing. But he couldn't help but feel betrayed, hurt, abandoned. His heart ached. Almost as if someone had reached into his chest and was squeezing the life out of it. Balling up the letter he threw it across the room with a yell. Jumping out of bed, he quickly changed and bolted out of the room. The second he was under the cover of the night, he shifted into his dog form. One thing, only one thing on his mind.

Find Athena.

P.s: I'm sorry.