To say the past few weeks have been different is an understatement. Ever since I switched sides, Voldemort has made sure I was constantly training. If I wasn't working on spells and potions with Eva, I was training hand to hand combat with Aaron. After the last outing I had with Eva, I hadn't been out of the manor again.

Not that I minded, since Lucius was nowhere to be seen. The bastard was currently hiding from the ministry of magic. He was stripped of all dignity and power he had in the wizard world. I mean he deserved it, but I didn't think his family did. Draco wasn't bad at all. In fact, he was nothing like he portrayed at Hogwarts. He was mellow, quiet, nice even. A few times he would train alongside me with Eva. Draco's mom had shown me nothing, but hospitality. She was nice, just did the mistake of marrying the wrong guy.

Speaking of marriage, since the day I sent the letter to Sirius, I haven't been able to speak with him again. To no one actually. Even Hermione had failed to try and contact me. Which in a way I understood and I had to accept it for now, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Glancing down at my ring less finger, I pulled out the chain around my neck. I had placed my wedding ring on it, to avoid loosing it or being taken from me. The moment I had taken it off my finger, it felt as if I had broken an unspoken vow or something. Almost as if I had violated my marriage in a way. My hand felt lighter without it as well.

"Black!" Aaron walked into the room.

I leaned back in the chair, tossing my head back. "What do you want?" Aaron was a tall man, standing at 6'1. He had semi-long hair, giving him a boyish look. His eyes were blue/gray colored. He was alright, for a death eater that was. I mean the man still idolized the idea of them controlling over the wizard world.

"Children have no manners now a days." Aaron grumbled. "We are leaving. Let's go."

"Where?"

"Do you always ask so many questions?" He sighed, grabbing his coat and tossing me mine.

I stood up with an annoyed groan. "Yes, it's how I annoy people." Slipping my coat on, I followed him. "Is it working yet?"

"Your presences is enough to annoy me." He waited for me at the door, stopping me from walking out. "I want you to prepare yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"I am not supposed to speak to you about this, but-" He grabbed my arm having heard footsteps, pulling me away from the house. "You will be tested today in a way. To see where your loyalty really stands. You will be doing something you will despise like."

Now I was even more confused. "What's that supposed to mean?" Why must they all be so damn cryptic. Why couldn't they just come out with it.

"I can't say more." He stepped back, ready to take flight. "I will give you this, do not hesitate. Hesitation is a sign of weakness, and no matter how much of a favorite you are, it will not be tolerated."

Watching him take off in a fog of black smoke, I kept going over his words. What the hell did that all mean? Favorite? Whose favorite? I am no one's favorite. Hell half the death eaters if not more hate me. Taking off after him, I caught up in no time. When it came to traveling, I rarely did so in this form. My 'smoke' was neither black or white, but half and half. Not the best when trying to blend in with the others. I had asked Eva what that meant. Her response was simple 'You carry both marks. You are neither.' That honestly didn't help at all. Again with the cryptic shit. Hearing a fluttering noise behind me, I noticed a few other death eaters had joined us. One was actually carrying Draco with him. 'What the hell was going on?'

Time jump:

I was completely numb. My body stood froze to the ground. I felt those around me, moving, talking, but if felt as if I wasn't there. I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder, whispering in my ear 'you did good.' But I didn't. What I did was the worse crime anyone could commit. Someone else stood beside me, taking my hand slowly into theirs. Looking down at my wand, I hadn't noticed just how hard I was gripping it. The wood creaking at nearly being snapped. Letting it go almost as if it had burn me, I stumbled out of the room. I needed air. I needed to get out of there. The room felt as if it was closing in around me. Turning into the alley, I stumbled against the wall, heaving for air. Leaning my head back, I closed my ears trying to calm myself down. Instead, all I could hear were the screams of that man. The begging of his life. I couldn't blame this one anyone, but me. In the end I was the one doing the damage. I was the one causing the pain. Not him or them, but me.

Flashback:

We had arrived at an abandon house. The building itself had seen better days. It was lopsided, creaking in warning of soon to fall over. By the looks of the broken swing a few feet away, this once belonged to a family. "Why are we here?"

"You will see." Aaron held the door open for me, stopping me for a moment. "Do not hesitate."

I walked into the poorly lit home, stopping in what I believed was family room. To my surprised the others had arrived. Snape was stood near the back, refusing to look at me. Draco stood a few feet away from him, shaking from fear or adrenaline, I wasn't completely sure which one. The others were only those I have seen a few times, never bothered to memories their names. As I walked in, they opened up a passage for me. In front of the half tumbling fireplace kneeled a man. He was gagged and blindfolded. Before I could ask what the hell was going on, a cold feeling came through my body. Soon after a pale hand landed on my shoulder.

"Wonderful, you have arrived." Voldemort hissed. "We can finally finish this."

"F-finish what?" My eyes wouldn't leave the trembling man on the ground. "What's going on?"

Voldemort stalked towards the man, lifting his head up by a handful of his hair. "Do you recognize him?"

"Yeah." It was the wizard I had accompany Aaron to grab.

"Do you know what he did?" I shook my head. "He betrayed us. He went to the enemy. Spoke of things he wasn't supposed to."

"What's that got to do with me?" I jumped at his sudden appearance beside me. "Sir?"

His hand stroked my hair. "You are going to make him talk. Spill every last word he spoke to the enemy."

"What?!" I flinched at realizing who I had just yelled at. "F-forgi-"

"Never ask forgiveness." He pulled me into his side once more, walking us towards him once more. "That is a sign of weakness." Reaching down he removed the blindfold from off the man, who in return was screaming muffled sorry. "See. Nothing, but weakness and embarrassment."

"Wha-what-how?" I was so lost in this moment. What the hell was I supposed to do?

"Make him talk."

"How?" He leaned in closer, whispering a single word. "It's illegal to use that spell."

His laughter sent chills down my spine and not in a good way. "I make the laws here. Now do it."

I was pushed closer to the man. I didn't even know what the fuck to do. Or how to do it. The haunting look in the man's eyes were boring into me. I couldn't do this. 'Don't show any hesitation.' Aaron's reminded came blowing into my mind. But how was I not to hesitate. I glanced over at Aaron, begging for his help. He gazed at me with a helpless look, shaking his head slightly and looking away. "I can't do this."

Voldemort growled, aiming his wand at me. "You refuse and the one to suffer will be you."

'Shit. What the fuck do I do?!' I raised my wand, trying my hardest not to look at him.

'He is the one to blame of all your tragedy.'

'Nagini?'

'Because of his betrayal you are here.'

'What does that mean?'

'Had he kept his loyalty, you wouldn't be here. He was the one that alerted the order. He spoke of our plans, putting your loved ones in danger.'

Anger began to rise in me. My mind was clouded with rage and hatred. Because of this bastard's inability to keep his fucken mouth shut, I nearly lost Sirius for good. Because of him I was no longer by Sirius side. Because of him I was in this hell hole! My blood was raging through my veins, causing my heart to drum against my chest. My vision was becoming a blur of pure flames and darkness. Something inside me awoken in that moment, taking over my mind and body.

'Make him pay for what he has taken from you! Make him feel what you feel!'

'All the pain and anger I felt.'

'Do it!'

Suddenly someone pulled me into their arms, my face buried in their chest. Whatever had caused me to blackout, had cleared up in that moment. Looking up at the person, I was met with Aaron's blue eyes. He stared at me for a few moments, before looking at whatever was happening behind me. Getting him to let me go, I turned to find the wizard unmoving on the ground. 'What have I done?!'

End of Flashback:

Hearing the echos of footsteps approaching, I turned my head to the side. Aaron stood at the entrance of the alley, hands in his pockets. He didn't say anything, he simply stood there. After a few seconds, he moved to stand beside me. I was fight so hard not to break down in front of him. I wasn't allowed to show any weakness to them. But the second he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side I lost it. I gripped his shirt, no caring once the fact that I was bawling my eyes out. Aaron simply held me, keeping any eye for anyone coming.

"This feeling will not go away anytime soon." He spoke. "This will be the only time I am doing this." He held me in tighter. "Let it out and compose yourself. Bury that feeling deep inside and forget about it. That is the only way you will be able to survive this."

He was right, I couldn't allow my emotions to get the better of me. What I did in there was going to come back and haunt me, but right now I couldn't let anyone see me like this. Wiping the fallen tears, I took in a deep breath and exhaled. "You're right."

"Atta girl." Aaron cupped my jaw, wiping the last fallen tear. "You're a death eater now. You will soon have the wizard world in your hands. This is nothing to what you will do. To what you will be able to do."