The One Who Does Magic
Chapter 7
A/N: This chapter ends a little bit abruptly, but I wanted to get something out there before I figure out exactly where I want to go next. I apologize if it's moving a little slowly, but I've never been a fan of the fairy tale quick wrap up romance. Anyway, hang in there if you want. I promise not to take too long.
Disclaimer: Oh, and don't forget I don't own this these characters. Well, possibly the baby, but I'm not really a kid person, so I'll leave that one out in cyber-limbo.
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Willow looked worriedly at her glazed-over-looking friend.
"Xander, did you—"
"What?" Xander replied, slowly shaking his head as if to clear a fog. "What do you—it's mine?" He was starting to smile again, and it gave Willow a strength she was beginning to see she didn't even need. This was her best friend, and even if they hadn't planned this—definitely hadn't planned it—he was right. It was going to be fine.
"Are you okay?" she asked, tentatively touching his arm. "Need to lie down?"
"I'm okay. But, hey, are you? Do you need anything? Water? Juice? There was some mention of donuts before. I could go get—"
"Slow down, buddy. I'm fine. Except that I really am worried about you. I've had a while to get used to this, but the way you found out, and then seeing me now…it must be quite a shock. Are you really okay?"
Xander gave her a shaky smile. "I think—yeah. I'm actually…I think I'm giddy, Will. So if I'm the father—God, that sounds weirdly adult—and I'm happy, then you must be…hating me." His smile slipped away as easily as a breath, and he couldn't meet her eyes.
Willow looked at him with shock. "Okay, color me ten shades of 'huh?' Why would I hate you?"
"Well, there was crying."
"Psht! Hormones, Xander."
"And you didn't tell me. I mean, I'm no pregnancy expert, but if it's really my baby and not the after-effects of alien abduction, you didn't just wake up this morning all shocked and, 'Ooh, hey, big tummy.' We haven't seen each other in seven months, Will. And what I did…I wouldn't blame you if you hated me."
"Xander—"
"No, Will, let me say it, okay? I was a complete dog. Anya was gone—hell, the rest of us had barely escaped with our lives—and I felt…I've never felt so much at once in my life. But that doesn't excuse what I did. I had no right. I used you, Will, and if you hate me, I'll understand. I'll understand completely, because I hate myself for it. But I hope you'll let me make it up to you, because I want to be part of your life again. I'll take some kind of 'Learning to live with lesbians' class, join a support group, whatever I have to do. Because I swear, Will, I know I can be taught, and—"
"Xander!" Willow said, more sharply than she'd intended. She looked at him, so repentant, so willing to change, and softened. "Xan," she said, and touched his hand. "I could never hate you. I'd never even try. I don't know exactly why we did what we did that night, but we did it together. I wasn't a hostage. I wanted to be with you, and I'm not sorry."
"You're not?" Xander asked, a bit amazed.
"No. And if I'm not sorry, I don't want to hear you apologize to me, okay?"
"Will, I—"
"Hey, I said no. Observe: Resolve Face," she said, trying not to ruin her patented expression with the smile that threatened to encroach on it. "I mean, the least you could do is make me one little promise, after you knocked me up and moved to another continent." She definitely couldn't stop the smile this time.
Xander grimaced. "Good point. So I won't apologize for that night, but may I inquire after your obviously-absent girlfriend? Because I have a feeling my…er, genetic material had something to do with that."
"Well, you wouldn't be entirely off base on that one," Willow said. "She kind of split after she figured out she wasn't the father."
"Smart girl, that Kennedy. But, honestly, Will, I'm sorry I messed it up for you. At least let me apologize for that."
"I will, because I know you feel it's necessary, but I can't blame you for her leaving any more than I can blame her for wanting to go. Nobody wants to be a fifth wheel, and I couldn't have asked her to stay. Even if we'd stayed together, she'd have been helping raise a child she has no relationship to. And to be honest, I'm not sure I would've wanted her to, even if she'd offered. It's one thing to date someone, but raising a baby with someone is a whole other plane of existence. Kennedy's a great girl, but she's young and…well, selfish. Too selfish to be a second mommy to someone else's baby. Ooh, speaking of which—" She squeezed his hand. "There's kickboxing going on in here. Wanna feel? I mean, unless it's still too weird—"
"No, please, I'd love to. If it's not too space-invadey for you."
Willow laughed at his sudden shyness. "Oh, so getting me pregnant was okay but touching my stomach is an invasion of privacy? I think I'll survive." She placed his hand on her stomach and watched his expression melt. "So, what do you think?"
"God, Will. All I hoped was that you wouldn't hate me. I thought the best thing I could feel was relief. But this is just…I think I'm actually speechless."
"And still upright, which is a vast improvement over recent events." She looked at his hand on her stomach, the expression on his face, and felt such relief, such familiar warmth. She threaded her fingers through his, and they felt their little "mistake" doing tae bo inside her, perhaps training to fight monsters.
Maybe they could walk back into their friendship after all, hand in hand. "Gotta say, Xander, you gave me a bit of a shock all sprawled out on the porch like that—and by the way, where do you live anyway? You got here in, like, four seconds. Hey, are you stalking me?"
Xander's gaze broke from their hands, still joined on her stomach, and he grinned. "Stalking a witch? A bold move. Bold and stupid. Yeah, that sounds like me. But actually, no. Strangely enough, I live around here. In fact, you're looking at a real live bona fide homeowner, Will." He looked proud and somewhat nauseated.
"Xander, that's great!" Willow said, slapping his leg. "Our little boy's all grown up. Ooh, so when did this happen? Tell me everything. I can't wait to see it!"
"I hope you will, soon. Now that you're here. I really have your parents to thank. They co-signed the loan for me."
"What? They didn't tell me…"
"I think they were giving us some space. We talked about how you and I were trying out different…er, directions. Anyway, I had my heart set on this charming little—and I emphasize 'little'—one bedroom shack, and I was just talking it over with your mom one day—"
"You and my mom talk things over now?" Willow asked, incredulous.
"Yeah, well, she was kind of micromanage-y with the finishing work on the house, so we had a lot of coffee breaks together. I told her I was thinking about snapping up one of the somewhat abandoned houses while the prices were post-apocalypse-low, and she said she thought it was a great idea. Offered to take a look with me, so I said, 'What the hey,' cause it's not like I know anything about the real estate market."
"I'm shocked and amazed, Xan. Here all this time I thought you were a big-time mogul," Willow said, laying a hand to her chest.
"Oh, I could mogul with the mogullest. Don't you doubt it. But this being my first time out of the gate, I took your mom up on her offer. I showed her the one I was thinking of buying, but she insisted I needed a two bedroom, and I guess now I know why—Will! Your mom knows?" He blanched in horror.
Willow laughed. "It's, er, kind of hard to hide. You know, it was either a baby, a tumor, or some kind of demony…well, let's not even consider that implication."
"Will, you know what I mean. Your mom—your parents know I'm the—that the baby's mine?"
"Poor Xander," Willow teased lightly. "You're paler than a vamp."
Xander looked up, and his hang-dog expression almost did Willow in. She wanted to be a good girl, a good friend, to pat his hand and reassure him. Instead, she started laughing and couldn't stop.
"Thanks, Will. I'm completely mortified knowing that your mom knows we had sex—she has looked me in the face, all the time knowing that we…and you laugh in the face of my anguish. Go on, laugh. I am and will remain a pillar of strength and fortitude, despite the fact that your mom—oh, God. She's not here, is she? Cause I might have to run away—"
"Don't worry," Willow said, pausing her hysterics. "She's at work."
"Holy pink slip, Willow! I was supposed to be at work two hours ago!"
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To be continued...