Author's Note at bottom.
The Adventures of Theodred, Son of Eomer
Chapter 8 (begins late Sept, 44 IV)
"I believe they are in the gazebo, my lord," the servant informed him. Had Theodred not been such a familiar sight around the palace of Dale, likely she would have made more effort to guide him, but it was clear she assumed he knew the way.
Turning instantly to his left after a nod of thanks, Theodred hurried off. She was correct – he well knew his way there, having spent so much of his time in that place on his previous visit.
Humming slightly, his grin broadened in anticipation of seeing them both again after so long a separation. As he stepped outside the palace, he broke off his humming, preferring to hear the birdsong that was so prevalent here. There was a path that wound its way to the gazebo, but he knew that if he circled around behind a tall hedge it would get him there slightly faster, and have the element of surprise for his friends.
However, the sight that met his eyes when at last he broke cover was one he had never imagined. Arawine and Kata were wrapped in one another's arms, kissing in a most passionate manner. From the look of it, this was not their first kiss. For several moments, he could not breathe, and then the anger slowly began to consume him. Just at that instant, Arawine drew back slightly from the kiss, looking tenderly down at Kata as he snugged her closer. A slight movement caught his eye, and he looked up – right into Theodred's eyes, full of hurt and betrayal. Arawine involuntarily stiffened with shock, and Kata eyed him in puzzlement, then turned to discover what held his interest behind her. Upon seeing Theodred, she gave a choking gasp, covering her mouth with her hands.
And then he was gone. It was all Theodred could do not to break into a run, but he forced himself to remain at a walk, albeit a stiff-legged, charging walk. He crashed through the stable door, causing several stable hands to jump and Freahelm looked up from where he was just putting water in the stall for his horse. There was no mistaking the black look of fury on Theodred's face as he stormed down the length of the shedrow, and snatched open the stall door to his mount.
Pulling the annoyed animal away from the hayrack, he fastened him to the wall and retrieved the saddle, quickly beginning to tack up. "Theodred, what is wrong? What has happened?" Freahelm asked with some alarm.
"We are leaving," Theodred hissed, offering no further explanation.
"Why? What has happened?" Freahelm pressed.
"Are you coming with me or not? I am leaving, with or without you." Theodred stubbornly refused to reveal more.
Nodding slowly, Freahelm assured him quietly, "I am coming with you. As always, my friend."
He set to work saddling his own horse, his mind racing with questions. But he knew Theodred too well to think there would be answers immediately. Somewhere down the road he would eventually find out the reason for their abrupt departure.
Just as they were leading their horses from the barn, Arawine hurried into view. In all the years he had known the two, Freahelm had never seen them at odds with one another. Indeed, it had always been almost eerie how well the two got along. All that was clearly in the past. There was no denying the sparks between them.
"Theodred, we must talk!" Arawine said, moving in close and catching his uncle's arm.
Theodred violently whirled, snatching his arm up and away. As a result, he shoved Arawine backward and, since he was already off balance, the force of the motion knocked him to the ground. "There is nothing I wish to say to you, nephew! I can think of men I might have expected to betray me, but you were never on the list!"
He turned and stepped up into the saddle as Arawine scrambled to his feet. "It is not what you think!" he pleaded.
Theodred glowered down at him. "Not what I think? You believe I cannot tell the difference between a friendly peck on the cheek and a man kissing a woman as a lover would? You think I do not understand the implication of my dearest friend passionately kissing a woman he knows has promised herself to me, and what it means that she was gladly receiving said kiss? I am not the fool you take me for, Arawine!" With that he dug his heels into his horse's side, and the animal spurted forward.
Arawine met Freahelm's eyes pleadingly. With a slight, disbelieving shake of his head, Freahelm urged his horse after his friend. This did not look good, and he couldn't help thinking it was a mistake to leave before they had talked more, and rationally discussed this matter, but that clearly was not going to happen. For now, all he could do was be there when Theodred was ready to vent his feelings. Still, he could not see how this breach in the relationship could ever be mended.
xx
They traveled for two days with Theodred seething in silence. After the altercation outside the stables, at least Freahelm had some clue as to the nature of the problem, but since Theodred was not inclined to discuss the matter, he didn't press him on it, thinking it best to let his anger subside a bit first.
At least by the third day Theodred had begun speaking to him again, but he kept the conversation carefully neutral and they might have been little more than strangers passing the time of day. Still, Freahelm continued to follow his friend's lead for the time being. So they made their way in uncomfortable companionship through the forest and down the Anduin to the Limlight. Once they were back on their horses and alone, finally Freahelm broached the subject.
"Theodred, talk to me. Tell me what has happened and let us discuss it. It cannot be good for you to keep your anger stoppered up inside you."
The younger man stiffened beside him, and a glance from the corner of his eye revealed the distress on Theodred's face. But at length he spat out, "They betrayed me! I went to find them and discovered them wrapped in one another's arms – kissing! I trusted them – both of them. How could they do this to me?"
Knowing it was risky, Freahelm ventured, "Perhaps if we had let Arawine explain..."
"Explain! What could he possibly say that would be acceptable? What could excuse this?" Angrily Theodred kicked his horse to a gallop, and with a sigh Freahelm nudged his horse to follow. Obviously emotions were still too raw to discuss this rationally yet. Perhaps it would have to await their return to Edoras. Queen Lothiriel might be the only one Theodred would listen to in a calm manner.
They found that Arawine had been busy in other ways also. A rough road was laid out, with markers at intervals that could be seen from the previous one. A good day's ride apart, lean-to shelters were set up for making camp, and had been located near supplies of water and fuel. The first such shelter they had come upon, Theodred had ignored and ridden on, insisting on camping in an open area between the lean-to camps. It took some doing, but Freahelm finally prevailed upon him the next day, and persuaded him it was stupid to refuse to use them simply because Arawine had been the one to provide them.
Same as the previous time they had made this journey, it was a tiring trip, but made even more wearisome this time by the tension of the circumstances. Not entirely certain that Theodred would relate all that had happened to the king and queen in an unbiased manner, Freahelm made a point of seeking them out almost immediately upon arrival, and making them aware of what little he knew of the situation so they would be prepared.
Four days after their return, Theodred still was sulking around Meduseld, but had made no attempt to explain himself. Everyone was walking on eggshells around him, not understanding why he was in such a foul mood and unwilling to tell them about his travels this time. When Arawine and his escort put in appearance the following day, and the two very pointedly avoided each other, the family definitely knew that something major was amiss.
They were not children, and could not be ordered to resolve their differences, so no one was quite sure how to proceed. At last, Lothiriel recognized that likely it fell to her to intervene if peace was to be restored in their home. Very possibly she was the only one who could get away with prying into the matter and offering an opinion, and who Theodred might listen to despite his evident hostility.
Though November was nearly upon them, and the weather had been cold and rainy, one final throe of sunshine favored them for a few days, and Lothiriel seized the opportunity to take her youngest into her garden for a talk.
"Dearest, this cannot continue. I do not like seeing you in such distress, and angry all the time. Please, talk to me about this. Freahelm has told me what little he knows, but I need for you to discuss it," she encouraged.
For several minutes, he was silent, wringing his hands in agitation and for a time she thought perhaps he was not going to comply with her entreaty.
"They betrayed me!" Theodred suddenly spat angrily. "I blame Arawine – Kata would never do something like this! How could he do this to me? He knew that I–"
"Knew that you had left Kata with empty promises?" Lothiriel asked quietly. "Told her, 'if no one better comes along, I may consider marrying you'?"
Theodred stared at his mother in astonishment. "That is not what I said!"
"Perhaps not those precise words, but the meaning was essentially the same. You would not firmly commit to her, nor would you walk away and release her, and you expected her to wait around indefinitely to see if you ever chose to make good on any of the possibilities. She was young and fancied herself in love, so she agreed to your terms, trusting that one day you would indeed love and marry her."
Theodred continued staring at Lothiriel, stricken beyond belief that she would accuse him of such behavior. After several minutes, she added, "Tell me truthfully, dearest – are you brokenhearted, or have you simply had your pride bruised?"
As Lothiriel watched, Theodred finally fully considered her words, and he sunk in upon himself as he buried his face in his hands. Her arm slid around him, pulling him close as her hand pressed his head to her shoulder and stroked his hair.
"I watched them together when your father and I were in Dale, and I suspected they were beginning to fall in love. And I saw them looking at one another in a way that I never saw you look at Kata. You like her, you care for her, but I do not believe that you love her, dearest. What she felt for you was infatuation – the blush of first love, but I believe that now, with Arawine, she may truly have found enduring love. You and she would never have had that. You might have found contentment together, but it would never have been so deep or satisfying as what they will share. And I would hope that you also might find a woman to love that deeply some day."
"What have I done?" he choked miserably.
"You have been blind and unfair to those who love you. You owe both of them an apology, and you need to give them your blessing. Go and make peace with your friends."
"My friends? Do you still think I may count them such?" he asked despairingly.
"Arawine has loved you as though you were a part of himself for his entire life. I am certain he does not wish there to be enmity between you. Kata and you are good friends, and you can be still if you put aside your selfishness and wish her joy."
xxxxx
Despite their conversation, it was several days before there was any interaction between Theodred and Arawine. His talk with his mother had eased Theodred's anger, but still he had many emotions he was trying to deal with and he could not quite shake a slight feeling of betrayal in spite of everything. Were that not enough, he also had the guilt over the breach in his relationship with Arawine. Even if he could reconcile himself to the situation between Arawine and Kata, how could he ever repair the damage he had done to their relationship? Would he ever be able to reclaim his 'twin'?
One day, just after Theodred had returned from his morning ride and was grooming his horse, he heard a voice behind him.
"Theo..." Arawine said softly, reverting to their childhood shortening of names, "we must talk. Please?"
Theodred kept his gaze fixed on the brush in his hands, not trusting his voice just yet. The quiet of the stables told him that the stablehands had moved away from them, whether to afford them privacy or to avoid being caught in the midst of an argument, he did not know.
Though it was neither agreement nor invitation, at least Theodred was still here so Arawine persisted, "I would never wish to hurt you in any way, and it was not my desire to do so now. I had not meant for this to happen, but you spoke so warmly of Kata that I was pleasantly disposed toward her before we even met. Once we had come face to face, my feelings would not be repressed. At first, I convinced myself that it was merely friendship that I felt for her, but when we got to Dale and were together so much there...I came to know how much I loved her. Still, it was a while before she began to return my feelings."
He paused, trying to think how to explain the situation without causing further pain to the person dearest to him. Theodred had finished brushing the stallion, and taken a seat on a bench to wipe down his tack. With a heavy sigh, Arawine continued, "Eventually Kata began to realize that what she felt for me was different and deeper than what she thought she felt for you. She cares for you a great deal, but it was not true love. When she told me of the agreement the two of you made, we convinced ourselves that you did not truly love her either, and would understand if she found happiness with someone else...even me."
His voice had become progressively quieter during his recitation, and not once had Theodred acknowledged him. With another sigh, Arawine rose from the bench where he had seated himself next to his uncle. For an instant, his hand hovered in the air between them as though he would grasp Theodred's shoulder, but at length he let it fall to his side and turned away.
"Arawine," Theodred said hoarsely, standing, but not meeting his eyes.
Never in their entire lives had the two been so ill at ease with one another, but this was not a matter that could be simply resolved. For several minutes they stood in silence, shifting awkwardly and not looking at each other. Clearing his throat, Theodred finally forced out, "Give me time."
Now Theodred's eyes did lift, just as Arawine's did, and there was no missing the raw pain there. Arawine's breath hitched at the sight, but he choked back a sob and nodded. "Thank you," he murmured.
xxxxx
November wasn't the best time for traveling, but Freahelm had agreed to accompany him once more. Apologetically, Theodred told his parents at supper that he would be going to Minas Tirith and wintering there, feeling the need of some time alone, away from the situation, to think.
Tears pricked at Arawine's eyes at the announcement, but he kept silent. He could not help feeling he was driving his uncle away, but he did not see what more he could do to rectify the matter. Perhaps it truly would simply take time.
TBC
6-4-06
A/N: Yeah, I know this took a bit different twist than it originally seemed to be going, but this seemed more true to life and this storyline/characters seemed the right place for it. Not to worry, we'll find a girl for Theodred eventually!
FYI, Arawine had gone to Dale in April, returned with Eomer & Lothiriel in late May, then returned to Dale in mid-Aug.
Sorry it's so short, but I thought this was the best place to end this chapter.