Woo! Blooper time! Warning: this may be funny!
Sorry about the long updates, but I got grounded from the computer over my spring break, so obviously I was unable to update….
Anyways, several of the reviewers have brought to my attention that this story focuses much more on the IY characters rather than the Gits characters as far as storyline goes, and I'd like vote on this: Do you think this story should stay in the Gits category, or do you guys think I should move it over to Inuyasha?
Just wondering about that. I ask forgiveness ahead of time for any errors I make with the scriptwriting style I'm using in this chapter, since it is my first time, ever, writing a script And you may want to refresh yourselves with the story, since I will be using a LOT of the previous scenes in this since…well…they're bloopers, lol. I'm very open to ideas for blooper ideas, so be sure to review (or email me) with any ideas that you have with this.
Anyways, on with the madness!
0o0o0o0o0
(The scene is the very first of the story, the ratheropen smelly dumpster is resting in the abandoned back ally, several of the crew are making last minute preparations, such as setting a banana peel here, a McDonald's whopper box there, etc.)
(Kouga is dressed in a bathrobe, sunglasses on, sipping out of a party glass with a small umbrella dangling from the side)
Kouga: So THIS is my scene?
Producer: Yes, Kouga, this is your scene.
Kouga: (Looking from the glass to the dumpster and back a few times) Are you serious?
P: YES, Kouga, now get in.
Inuyasha: (sitting offstage, struggling to withhold his laughter) Oh come on, you mangy wolf, can't you get your widdle nose dirty? (Laughs)
Kouga: (growls) YOU never had to do anything like this, mutt. I mean, you got to do a headfirst DUNK into a pool with a naked Kagome in it, for Pete's sake!
Inu: (blushing slightly) Well…yeah…but you're not the star of the series, so mneh! (raspberry)
Kouga: (fuming) Why you…
Motoko: (offstage) Can you just get IN, fleabag? You're taking up time.
Kouga: Well, exCUSE me, miss "I must get things done on time..."
Motoko: (rolls eyes)
Producer: Kouga, GET IN THE CAN!
Kouga: …That's an interesting way of putting it…
Producer: ARGH! GET IN THERE NOW! OR I'LL—
(A blur of white comes streaking through at blinding speed, and Taisho is standing right in front of Kouga, holding an unsheathed Tetsaiga)
Taisho: FOUR! (WHAM!)
(Kouga is sent flying with the flat of the blade into the brick wall above the dumpster. The impact jostles the lid from its resting position leaning against the brick wall, and with a clank the dumpster closes. With a groan, Kouga peels off from his place as a poster on the wall, bounces off the closed lid of the dumpster and lands with a thud in front of it.)
Producer: (head resting in palm) Well…I guess the job's HALF done…
Taisho: (nervous laugh)
0o0o0o0o0o0
(Producer and Kouga are striding down the sidewalk, cars are zipping by next to them in blue and black blurs)
Producer: Now are you SURE you're up to doing this, Kouga? I know that this is your first time doing a film in the busy city like this…
Kouga: (Huffs) Oh, please. I can handle anything this city can (car horn blares) –
(BAM!)
(Kouga screams as his body is thrown helter-skelter through the air, bouncing across the cement several times before smacking into a brick wall, then landing on the top of a closed dumpster)
Producer: (Head in palm)
0o0o0o0o0o0
(Scene where Motoko first meets Kouga on the roof of the building)
Kouga: (Arrogant smirk on face, having just ripped out the taser rods from his abdomen.) That was a nice trick, sweetie. But it didn't work. What kind of weapon is, this, anyway?
Motoko: (looking very surprised) It's called a taser.
Kouga: Never heard of one, but like my dad always—
(GONG!)
Tachikoma: (Excitedly) Was I on time?
Kouga: (holding head and whimpering in pain slightly) No…you were early…
Producer: Alright, take it from taking the tasers out.
(BEEP-BEEP)
Kouga: (Arrogant smirk on face, having just ripped out the taser rods from his abdomen.) That was a nice trick, sweetie. But it didn't work. What kind of weapon is, this, anyway?
Motoko: (looking very surprised) It's called a taser.
Kouga: Never heard of—
(GONG! WUMP!)
Tachikoma: How about now?
Kouga: (weakly) Too early…
Producer: ….
(BEEP-BEEP)
Kouga: (Arrogant smirk on face, having just ripped out the taser rods from his abdomen.) That was a nice trick, sweetie. But it didn't work. What kind of weapon is, this, anyway?
Motoko: (looking very surprised) It's called a taser.
Kouga: (waits a moment, turns around and sees the Tachikoma still cloaked give him a thumb's up. He turns back around.) Never heard of one, but like my dad always said—
(CRACK!)
(Kouga is still upright, but now has a piece of shattered tachikoma arm resting on his skull. Motoko is mirroring Kouga's speechless expression, and the Tachikoma behind him is looking rather sad.)
Tachikoma: Too early? (The tachikoma arm falls to the rooftop with a metallic thud, Kouga watching it in confusion as to why his head isn't hurting.)
Producer: Yes…
(Kouga rubs his head experimentally; getting no pain from it, he gives a thumbs up to the producer offstage)
Producer: Well, at least he's hard headed enough to work with…
0o0o0o0o0o0
(Inside the "nuclear containment room" in Chapter three)
Kouga: (hopping on one foot, now to the point of doing so in circles) DAMMIT! Why does titanium alloy have to be so fucking HARD!
All: ….
0o0o0o0o0
(Down in the lower levels of section nine…)
Producer: Look Sesshomaru, I know that your role in this story is sort of a small one…
Sessh: Yes…?
Producer: And I know that you like to show off with your whip, since it IS cool…
Sessh: …
Producer: Well… What we had in mind was you cutting the "men" androids, for safety in half…not neutering them…
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
(In Ayame's bedroom, numerous…awkward…noises are originating from within the room)
Producer: Kouga, you're supposed to HATE being seduced by Ayame!
Inuyasha: (offstage) Seriously, and you call me and Kagome sickening…
Motoko: I've had a sudden revelation about my job…
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Ishkawa: Who the hell wrote these scripts! I mean, come on! I've got this whole cool ominous thing going with the "you won't believe where I got a lead on this Kouga guy" thing, and nothing even comes from it! Who the hell IS this guy? And why does he do shit like this!
Kouga: (taps chin thoughtfully) Maybe he just doesn't like you…
Ishkawa: ….
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
(Motoko and Batou are sitting on the bench in the park, in the midst of their conversation before Ayame and Kouga's quarreling entrance.)
Motoko: Besides, this is rather relaxing. We've finally gotten a break.
Batou: I guess. I still wouldn't mind someone to beat the crap out of right about now…
Motoko: Same old Batou…
(A beat passes, and Batou shuffles his foot slightly, Motoko stretching as if she's enjoying where she is at that moment, but obviously her actor's mask is starting to wear off.)
(The silence continues, and both of the "officers" lose their composure.)
Motoko: Where the hell is Kouga?
(Batou laughs, with the producer starts screaming at his associates to go find Kouga.)
Producer: Ugh, take it from the top!
(BEEP-BEEP)
Motoko: Besides, this is rather relaxing. We've finally gotten a break.
Batou: I guess. I still wouldn't mind someone to beat the crap out of right about now…
Motoko: Same old Batou…
(Silence. Motoko starts glaring over her shoulder, her eyes narrowing, and, obviously having not seen Kouga, huffs and rests her chin in her hands.)
Producer: CUT! WHERE THE HELL IS KOUGA!
Inuyasha: (offstage, in a leering voice) With Ayame! Where the hell do you expect?
Producer: Well obviously, his entrance is with…her…OH…
(Inuyasha snickers from offstage, Batou's palm meets with his forehead, and Motoko's head leans back over the back of the bench in exasperation.)
Producer: ARGH! CUT!
(BEEP-BEEP!)
Motoko: Besides, this is rather relaxing. We've finally gotten a break.
Batou: I guess. I still wouldn't mind someone to beat the crap out of right about now…
Motoko: Same old Batou…
(Silence…again…)
(Suddenly)
Sesshomaru: FOUR!
(WHAM!)
(Kouga comes flying through at lightning speed, blurring past the camera and ruffling everyone's clothing and hair with the breeze)
(Everyone's focus travels towards his destination, Kouga's scream dissipating over time. Everyone winces with the dull "Blam" that arises, and wince again as a crash which sounds remarkably like a car exploding resonates through the camera.)
Sesshomaru: (Offstage) Found him
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
(Saito, dressed in the "nameless man's outfit of rags")
Saito: (Dawning look of realization on his face) The "man with no name" has a wedgie…
Motoko: (Blinks)…..I can see why you're not in the story…
Saito: HEY!
0o0o0o0o0o0
(Following Taisho and Kouga in their death-defying stunts leaping across streets and highways. Midway through a leap…)
Ayame: KOUGA! You get your ass down here right now!
Kouga: (still floating in his jump) I'm in the middle of a scene, woman!
Ayame: YOU DIDN'T DO THE DISHES AND OTHER CHORES LIKE YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD!
Kouga: (Still up in the air) I'LL DO IT WHEN I GET HOME, NOW CAN YOU LET ME WORK!
Ayame: Kouga! SIT!
(Kouga's expression goes dead for a moment, until beads start glowing about his neck. Everyone offstage follows his fall with their eyes. Inuyasha sips a cola, gurgling loudly, while Batou is yawning and stretching. A few moments pass, and then Kouga's scream becomes louder and louder, until a gigantic WHAM is heard as the wolf demon smacks into the pavement with a tremendous crash.)
Batou: (Wincing) Ooo…the ultimate face plant…
Inuyasha: (sipping his cola once more) You have NO idea my friend…
(Kouga's tail wilts; and he groans into the pavement, Ayame huffs, then drags off the stunned demon back to their apartment.)
Producer: I need a new job…
0o0o0o0o0
Fin.
Whoo…sorry about taking so darned long, but here's the bloopers! If you guys are liking it, I'll be more than happy to write more, however school midterms are coming up soon, so my updates are going to be rather sketchy…not like that's anything new…but just to warn you, heheh.
Thanks to all who reviewed my story, keep reviewing and I'll keep writing!
Dak