Commander 117: Thank you for your review! I've been thinking about your story idea and I'll definitely try it, with a few changes. I'm not well versed in the animated Spider-Man series... I'm most familiar with the live-action film versions and the older comics. The counter-earth stuff is kinda confusing... so I'd like to try it keeping it in my version of Peter and MJ (which is shown in all my short stories... based mostly on Raimiverse) I'll follow the main idea of the blood transfusion and MJ gaining powers though and see what I come up with! It should be out within a few weeks, unless I get majorly sidetracked. Keep a watch on my profile for when it comes out. Thanks for the suggestion!

Mary Jane lowered herself gingerly to the couch, stretching out her leg with a grimace. The pain was worse than ever before after her recent exertion. Tears spilled unwanted down her cheeks and she wiped them away almost savagely, gritting her teeth. She noticed, then, the bloodstains on her hands. She looked down at her dress and sighed. It, too, was covered with blood. She looked as if she had just fought a battle herself. Well? Wasn't it a battle in its own way?

In spite of the terrible pain, she willed herself to rise once more as she changed into a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants. She couldn't care less how she looked… she just wanted to wrap herself in blankets on the couch and not move for a hundred years.

"So, MJ," she whispered as she lay down again, propping her leg up on the arm of the couch. "You've made contact with Spider-Man now. How does it feel? Strange. Very strange. I don't know what to think. I couldn't even make myself take his mask off… and I shouldn't have been afraid like that. I couldn't… couldn't do it. Something… holding me back… I can't understand it. I've never been so frustrated in all my life. This connection… this bond I feel with him… so strong that it fills my every thought… and yet every single memory gone. I've got to figure this mess out, before I lose my mind completely."

March 22, 2005

Peter explained everything today. My heart is aching for him… I've never seen him so… distraught. Not in all my life. He was literally on his knees in front of me, crying. Begging me to forgive him.

I was right. It was the black suit. He says it was some kind of alien symbiote (which doesn't make sense, no matter how much he explains) and it took over his suit and made him aggressive and spiteful and pretty much act like an idiot. Which is everything he's not. He says he should have thrown it away when he still had a chance… burn it, or something like that. He said after he hit me that night at the club, he suddenly realized what it was doing to him. He went to the bell tower of a church to pray… he said it was the only thing he could think of doing… and he somehow found the strength to tear the suit off. The tolling of the church bell somehow helped. The symbiote… whatever it was… was afraid of sound. He said it was bonding to his body and taking it off was like tearing his skin off. The worst pain he's ever felt. It's awful. I don't know where all this stuff comes from, but it seriously creeps me out.

It broke my heart, seeing him so upset. We've had such a terrible mess lately. I thought everything was over between us… and now I love him more than ever. Even though he hurt me. And it terrified me, because he's the only person in the world I've ever felt truly safe with. But seeing the pain and regret in his eyes, I know I can trust him again. I got down on my knees beside him and just held him close. I told him that I forgave him, over and over… as many times as he told me he was sorry.

March 25, 2005

We've found some semblance of normalcy again, Peter and I. He still seems afraid around me… as if he's afraid to trust himself with me. It'll probably take a long time to repair what's been damaged here. We love each other, more than ever, but trust takes a while to rebuild. And it's not even trust on my side. I believe him… I know we'll be okay… but he's been scarred from what's happened. Lord help us. I wish we could have normal lives. But this is the path we've chosen… both of us… and somehow we'll find the strength to travel it.

We went out to dinner tonight… and I couldn't believe it when there were no alarms and we actually had an uninterrupted meal for once. It was just a little restaurant… nothing fancy. And afterwards we went to a movie. Poor Peter fell asleep somewhere in the middle of it… he apparently had a long night, last night, out from midnight to four with a jewelry heist followed by a car chase and a terrible accident. What with Spider-Man and college and all, he hasn't slept for somewhere around thirty-six hours. I got him to wake up enough to get him into a taxi and later from the taxi up to his apartment. He was asleep again before his head hit the pillow and so I escorted myself home. He should never have agreed to the movie… I didn't realize how tired he was.

I'm going to attempt to get back into Broadway again. There's a few opportunities… a new production of Les Mis and they need a Cosette, and there's a version of the Disney Aladdin (though I doubt I could do Jasmine), and there's Fiddler on the Roof. Which would probably be the most fun, actually, although I prefer the Les Mis songs. But after all that with Dreams of Manhattan, I doubt I'd be able to sing A Heart Full of Love with any note of confidence. I think they're looking for Eponine too, but she sings A Little Fall of Rain, which would hardly be easier. Of course, she is dying when she sings that, so perhaps I could pull it off. The Fiddler on the Roof character I want to try out for doesn't have any solos. It's Tzeitel (however you spell that), the oldest daughter of the family. There is a younger daughter I could try for, but she sings a song called Far From the Home I Love, which is pretty difficult, since it's really slow and has some high notes.

I'm tired… I don't know why I write so much. Especially on a day when there isn't much more to talk about than random ramblings about auditions I want to do. And, crazily enough, I've gotten terribly casual when talking about all the freaky stuff that Spider-Man gets himself into. I guess I'm starting to get used to the monsters. I wonder what the next one will be. An enormous lizard? That would be a good one. Or maybe something like a shocking electrical monster. I don't know. Something weird and creepy and completely out of this world. Lord, please be with us.

April 1, 2005

Well, here's an interesting twist for you. Peter ran into some guy today that just so happens to be some weird kind of a villain. And he's called… get this… April Fool. I guess he isn't actually a villain, just an idiot that likes to annoy people. He was bugging somebody who yelled for help as soon as he saw Spider-Man. Well of course, Spider-Man had to get involved and this April Fool apparently pranked him all day long. Until Spider-Man, with the aid of a librarian, got him back.

Why do I get the feeling that Peter is pranking me?

April 2, 2005

Well, I guess it wasn't a prank. April Fool really does exist. He was in the paper this morning. But Peter did play other tricks on me. Ones that I couldn't sufficiently get back at him for. (Though I tried!) Like gluing everything in the kitchen to the counter with spiderwebs. I was so mad at him. I didn't even hear him sneak in… I guess he did it early in the morning. I was trying to make breakfast and couldn't move anything… couldn't even open the fridge… it took me a while to figure out why. And then I called him, fully prepared to chew him out, but he was so sweetly innocent about it, and then he took me out to breakfast. Very sly. Good way to get a date, I guess.

Have I mentioned that I love him?

April 10, 2005

We've got a problem. A major problem. Turns out a major crime boss has been rising in the underworld… ooh… that sounds even freakier now that I've written it out. By underworld, I mean the crime network in Manhattan… and boy do we have a major network or what! I hardly ever knew such things existed until I got involved with Spider-Man. He's been telling me about it… some shadowy character called the Kingpin with crime rings all over the place. I mean like drugs, trafficking, extorsion, possibly even terrorism. He is guessing that some of the run-ins he's had with thieves and maffia has been related to the Kingpin. Peter had better be careful. This is different than your ordinary, everyday bank robbery or fire. This is major, major stuff.

April 13, 2005

Peter and I went for a walk today in Central Park… it was beautiful. Just a lovely, normal day. Spring is in full swing… the sun is warm and there were flowers everywhere. We stopped on the Bow bridge… the bridge where I… broke up with him… man, I can hardly stomach writing it! Now that it's all over, I hate to think about it. But anyway, we stopped there and just stood there for a while, staring at the water. I told him then, what happened with Harry. Told him in as few words and as gently as possible… but I think he already knew. He just shook his head and told me he loved me. It's wonderful… wonderful… to feel loved again.

April 21, 2005

I stopped over at Aunt May's today… just me and her. We talked for hours and I ate probably a dozen of her cookies. Probably not so good for my waistline… but it sure was good for my heart. I mean just being with her. She is the sweetest and loveliest person I've ever known… she just radiates love and wisdom. She's taken me under her wing more than ever… like a second mother to me. And don't get me wrong… I love my mom. She's the most wonderful, loving, supporting mother a girl could hope for. But there's something extra special about Aunt May.

We talked about Peter probably more than anything… I can't figure out whether she knows about him or not… I mean about him being Spider-Man. She never really gave me a hint, although at times I wondered. But she confirmed what I already know… that he loves me. And that she knows I love him. She told me about the first day he saw me… the day my family moved into the house next to theirs. I was six. She said that the moment I got out of the car and Peter saw me, he grabbed her and said "Aunt May, is that an angel?" Aw, my heart. I think that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said about me.

I went to visit him today, but he was gone. I guess he's out Spider-Man-ing somewhere… I think I just invented a new word.

April 25, 2005

On my way home from work tonight, I caught sight of Spider-Man sitting up on the side of a building. He looked at me and then vanished around the corner so, naturally, I followed him. I could tell he wanted me to. I found him in the alley and he took me swinging. He made me close my eyes and when I opened them… we were on top of the Empire State Building. It was amazing. I mean… AMAZING. I've never been up so high in my entire life. It was beautiful… the sunset and then the stars… I never wanted to come down. Even though we had to, of course, eventually…

And that's when it hit me. Really hit me. I've known it all along, obviously, or otherwise I wouldn't be in a relationship with him. But I realized it harder tonight than I ever have before. I don't want this to end… being with Peter and loving him like this. I want to be with him and love him for the rest of my life. I want to spend forever with him. We've probably got more problems and challenges than any other couple ever did… but we've got something rare. We've got a love that LASTS.

May 5, 2005

Was I ever happy before? I didn't even know the meaning of the world. At this moment, I'm the happiest girl in the world. My heart… my everything… is complete. And I've been crying… crying with joy. I can't believe it. Everything is just perfect. Too perfect.

And it all started out as a normal day. I didn't know it was the day in which my world would change forever… I only brought supper over for Peter and then he took me out swinging. He took me to the Rockefeller Roof Garden.

I remember that place… I'll never forget it, not as long as I live… it's where he took me the first time he saved my life. At a time when I thought of Peter only as a friend and the boy next door and I was enamored with his alter-ego… the day that the Green Goblin destroyed the festival and I nearly died until Spider-Man swooped down and snatched me out of the sky. He dropped me off at the roof garden that day… far away from the disaster scene.

And now we're here again. Four years later. He told me to close my eyes and when I opened them, he had strung a web between the trees with words woven into it, "I love you, Mary Jane." He took off his mask, dropped to his knees, and pulled out the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. I'll never forget how it sparkled in the sunlight. I didn't even give him a chance to finish what he was saying… I was just too happy. I threw my arms around him and said "Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!" I've known for a long time what I would say, if ever he asked me. And I'm fully prepared to face whatever comes next. Funny thing is, I'm not even afraid. The Bible says somewhere "perfect love casteth out fear". I fully believe that.

We stayed up there to watch the sun set. I've never seen a more beautiful sunset in my entire life. I was actually crying, I'm so happy. Thank God, we weathered all that stormy weather. I'm not talking about the monsters, but the troubles in our relationship. The monsters can't do much. They're not strong enough to overpower our love. I mean to stand by him till I die, no matter what comes our way.

I'm glad he did it that way. It made me realize more than ever that I'm not just marrying Peter Parker. I'm marrying Spider-Man.

Mary Jane bent her head over her diary and wept, inconsolably. Never in all her life had she felt so lonely.