Fractured Frequency | Quake
The purple light in Sonic's palm extended its reach gradually, growing in brightness until it surrounded everything around them in a cool white flash. It was quick. The flash faded, and the surrounding darkness was different. It was cool, not frigid. Above, the sky was painted a deep purple, over strokes of orange—the fading glow of dusk.
Dusk. They hadsurely been hours beyond dusk in that icy forest.
Dense fog obscured their surroundings, but Sonic knew this place. The mist shimmered green with the light of the Master Emerald far above.
There was a shout, and then a yell from somewhere further away. He tucked away the Chaos Emerald, and pulled Knuckles a little closer as movement came from ahead. He could make out a silhouette rushing down the Master Emerald shrine; however, the way the gem's green glow lit them through the thick fog, made it difficult to tell just who, at speed.
"Who's there!?" they demanded.
Two other figures joined the first, coming around from the cottage a short distance back from the shrine. They approached quickly. Cautiously.
"Who's there?" The first demanded loudly again, when they were only paces away. Sonic was almost sure that time it was Vector.
He threw up one hand in a halting gesture, still unsure how well they could be seen, and kept the other arm wrapped tight around Knuckles.
"Shh, shh, please. Stop. It's—"
"—Sonic?" A different voice called.
"Oh no! Knuckles," another spoke.
"Is that... snow?" Asked the third.
"Shit, is that Metal's head!? What the hell?"
"STOP. Please... wait. Quite. It's ok, Knuckles is… alright," Sonic urged "He's only asleep, not… worse. Please don't wake him."
After a moment's pause Mighty stepped forward, close enough that Sonic could make him out. He approached cautiously closing the gap, and knelt down next to him placing one hand gently at his arm.
"What do you need," he asked quietly.
"He needs sleep. Please. I can fill you in on the rest... on everything, just don't let anyone bother Knuckles right now. Please."
Mighty's brow furrowed slightly. "Injuries?" he asked.
And only then did Sonic realize that perhaps he was mis-prioritizing a step. "Uh... yes... no, I'm mean, not severe… He injured his foot or ankle... I'm not sure. Um, and… and his hand maybe needs a better bandage. It's a cut, I think."
"Alright." He motioned Espio and Vector to their side with a wave. "Vector can you—"
"On it." Vector replied already positioning to pick Knuckles up. Sonic unraveled himself from cushioning Knuckles' form, and allowed Vector to take him.
"Good," Mighty continued. "Take him to his room, and let's keep everyone else out. Espio, just treat whatever you can without disturbing him too much."
Espio gave a silent nod in reply, and followed a step behind Vector. They rushed off.
As Sonic watched Vector carry Knuckles away, a sudden overwhelming urge to stop them or chase after overtook him. The feeling caught in his throat, and then washed over him with a panicked sort of urgency, as the figures—now just silhouettes again—swiftly disappeared into the mist.
"Sonic. Hey..."
Sonic blinked and refocused on the hand that was gently swaying before his nose. His eyes followed over to Mighty's face which held a look gentle of concern.
"Breathe. You're safe here Sonic. He's safe here. You can let him go."
Part of Sonic's brain wanted to laugh at how he was suddenly being coached off the edge of panic as he had done for Knuckles only a short while ago; part of him just wanted to fall apart and forget this day.
He tried to formulate some sort of appropriate response, but failed. Mighty didn't rush him, and throughout the tentative moments that followed, Sonic was incredibly grateful that of anyone, it was Mighty—with his gentle nature—kneeling beside him.
Once Sonic's breath had calmed, Mighty spoke again.
"I can't see it in this light. What's this on your shoulder? Are you hurt?"
Sonic nodded.
"It looks pretty bad Sonic. We should get you inside."
"Yeah..." Sonic replied then. He remained glued to the spot regardless. "Mighty... I messed up."
Mighty turned back to face him with apologetic concern, "Hey, we don't need to worry about that right now. You are here and safe. That's more important to me."
Sonic scoffed a desperate laugh. "Is it weird that I almost wish you would be angry with me instead?"
Mighty chuckled at him. "I'm pretty sure you've got some of that waiting champ."
Sonic sighed. "I know," he said breathily, still feeling off kilter. "Might as well get on with it."
Mighty heaved him up with a carefully placed grasp, and held Sonic there while equilibrium eluded him. Before the spinning stopped, Mighty asked, "Hey, you're swaying pretty hard there Sonic. You gonna pass out on me? I can carry you back if I need too."
"No, no Mighty, please don't." He was grateful once more for the patience. "Please, that would… they'll all worry more if you do that. This is fine. I just… need a sec. I can walk it I think… with a little help."
Mighty nodded back, and waited another minute for Sonic to find his balance. He shifted his hold so he was still actually supporting nearly all of Sonic's weight anyway, but it wasn't outright obvious.
"Oh wait." Sonic said suddenly, as they were about to go. "Metal." He looked around for the robot's detached head, and found it discarded a few feet away.
"Hmm, I'll send someone back to grab it in a few minutes ok?" Mighty suggested.
"Um… alright, I guess so."
They were standing just beyond the Master Emerald shrine, so the trek back to the cottage did not take long, despite a slow pace. Just as they neared the entryway Tails came bursting through the door, and slammed into Sonic in a tight hug. He buried his face in Sonic's chest, and squeezed hard. It was short-lived though. He pulled away moments later, revealing an angry glare and hot tears. And 'oh,' Sonic thought, when had Tails ever scowled at him like that.
"You should have told me!" Tails snapped, jolting Sonic slightly in frustration.
Sonic shuddered a wince, and felt the guilt he'd been refusing to make space for take hold with a vengeance.
"Tails I—"
"—DON'T."
Tails' frown grew angrier as he seemed to take in Sonic's disheveled state and injured shoulder. "Just go inside already!" he huffed angrily, then stormed away past them.
"Tails! Tails wait…" Sonic called after him weakly, as he half spun to watch the fox storm away. The move wrung his shoulder painfully, and he would have lost his balance once more if not for Mighty's iron grip. Tails quickly disappear from view in the fog, on the path to the shrine.
"He had a real scare I think," Mighty said quietly, and gave Sonic a little nudge, nodding towards the door encouragingly. "Come on."
Reluctantly, Sonic complied, despite the awful feeling that washed over him.
They walked the last few steps up to the door, and crossed the threshold into the kitchen.
There was no moment of reprieve. Sat at the table with an indignant scowl, Amy, was apparently waiting for him. She directed a predatory glance at him, as she stood, blocking their path and in four steps she closed the space between them. Mighty began to belay her, but whatever he'd wanted to say, came out a muffled, "emngff," instead, with one of her fingers placed over his lips.
"You shush."
Her other hand poked one finger fiercely into Sonic's chest.
"YOU, are an idiot."
And, 'of course she'd be the one to work it out,' Sonic thought. 'Of course she would.'
"You could have done anything Sonic. Could have gone anywhere else to distract him. You should know. YOU SHOULD KNOW he wouldn't say no if you gave him the chance. You should know he's in no state to make that decision!"
"Amy…"
"DON'T' Amy' ME. I waited all afternoon for the two of you to show up. A call would have been nice. Couple hours late? Sure I could give that a pass. But no. Nothing. I bet you didn't even remember that we were supposed to meet, did you?"
"I… Amy… I—"
"And you better believe I worked it out before Tails ever called me. No, no. I called Tails. I told him to track your damn comm, because whatever you told him during your little check in call was a damn lie. You're unbelievable! You know that? Un-be-liev-a-ble! You didn't think something like this was going to happen? Or what? You just didn't care?"
"I… I didn't…We—"
"—Don't you dare, 'we' that sentence Sonic. YOU. Don't tell me it was him. He didn't even want to go, right? Isn't that what you told me? The whole point of making Knuckles leave the island, was to keep Knuckles safe, while safely testing the drone, so we could figure why the island isn't SAFE for Knuckles right now! Or is that not, ex-act-ly, what you explained to me last night? I'd LOVE to hear about when that plan turned into, 'let me do the exact opposite of that, and not tell anyone!'
"It is." Sonic admitted wearily. He couldn't tell if it was guilt or exhaustion causing the edges of his vision to swim, but it was threatening to overwhelm. And he had nothing to argue though, so he didn't. "You're right Amy," he admitted quietly. "I have no defense. I didn't plan it that way… to change it, but I have no excuse. I made a… a very bad decision."
Amy did seem begrudgingly surprised at that response. She frowned at him, then took in a long breath, and punctuated it with a huff.
"Does it ever cross your mind when you pull these stunts, what it feels like for the rest of us, when you just don't show up afterwards? When you just disappear and we don't know if it's going to be hours, or days… or never?" She paused expectantly, but continued when Sonic didn't respond quickly enough. "Robotropolis is burning. Leveled, in some places, and we had nothing. No communication, no distress call,just an hours old trace on your comm and a—"
Sonic didn't immediately understand why Amy stopped mid reproach. He startled when Mighty laid a steadying hand at each of his shoulders, and only then realized he'd been swaying dizzily.
"Amy. That's enough," Mighty stepped in firmly. "He's injured. This isn't the time."
Her eyes shifted briefly towards the living room, then back to Sonic, with significantly more of concern.
"Wait… What about Knuckles? How bad is he hurt?"
Sonic hesitated a moment on how to explain. A dreadful wave of guilt peaked again with the answer. "Physically…. Not so bad."
"And otherwise?"
Sonic found that more difficult to answer.
"He's… he's… struggling."
Amy scowled at them both. "Go on then," and stepped out of the way as Mighty directed him forwards.
Sonic only noticed then that Charmy and Vector had been watching from the living room doorway. Mighty waved them out of the way, and asked Charmy to collect some water and first aid supplies, as they made their way through, and then over to the spare bedroom. Sonic situated himself on the edge of the bed, one leg tucked under, the other off the side, facing so that his right shoulder was accessible. Mighty took a seat behind him.
"Sorry about that Sonic."
"It's not on you," he dismissed.
"How did you get this?" Mighty asked, as he leaned in to inspect the wound.
"Laser bast. Close range."
"Laser? How close? This is… substantial…"
"Yeah, yeah I know. It was point-blank. Dumb luck for the bot. I was… very distracted."
"Alright. Any other injuries?
"My conscience." Sonic said sarcastically, but there was little weight behind the remark.
"Sonic."
"Hmm, no. Just the shoulder really. And bruises everywhere else probably."
"Good. Ok."Very gently he guided Sonic to lean forward, to examine the injury closer.
"Knuckles applied this dressing?"
"Yeah…"
"Hmm. It's obscuring a lot of what I can actually see here. Was it mostly a burn or did—"
They both looked up as Charmy quietly let himself into the room, balancing a glass, a basin of water, some washcloths and a basket of other items. He flew across the space and handed everything but the glass over to Mighty.
"Thank you Charmy. This is perfect. Could you also ask Espio to come in here when he's done checking Knuckles? I'd like him to take a look at this burn."
"Oh sure. I'll let him know. And here you go Sonic," he said, offering up the glass of water. He started to zip away then, but circled back and added, "um… Sonic? I'm glad you're alright."
Sonic shot him a weak smile. "Thanks Charmz," he said, as the bee zoomed away.
Once they were alone again Mighty continued. "Right, I was asking if it's just a burn or if something else happened? There is a concerning amount of blood surrounding this wound."
"Lemme guess. I'm a half purple hedgehog now," Sonic quipped.
Behind him, Mighty took his time preparing a washcloth in the basin before he spoke.
"You're deflecting Sonic. I haven't even asked any hard questions yet."
Sonic released a tense breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Yeah... sorry. I… I don't know. Um, it was bleeding a lot. For a while. Probably not just from being shot. So much happened after that."
"Alright. Did Knuckles explain anything about this dressing? How to manage it?"
"Uh… no? I wasn't… I mean, I passed out. Or… I got knocked out when the city blew… I'm not sure anymore."
"You lost consciousness? How long?"
"Um…"
"Minutes or hours?"
"Mm… second one probably. I think Knux said as much."
"Hmm. Turn this way a sec. Look at me."
Sonic complied, though slowly. Mighty placed a hand on either side of his head and closely examined his eyes.
"Look up… Now down… Do you know what day it is?"
"One I'd like to forget."
"Oh for chaos—Sonic I'm trying to check if you have a concussion. Fine, just tell me, did you hit your head?"
"Hmm… well my skull feels like it's splitting in two so, let's go with yes. Also… I think Knuckles said I did too, and that wasn't all that long ago, but… time in my head feels all jumbled."
"Yeah, a concussion 'll do that, but… so would significant blood loss—the dizziness and confusion part anyway. I'm considerably more concerned about that. And, risk of infection. A burn this large is dangerous. You're surprisingly com—"
"Conscious? Yeah." Sonic cut in.
"I was going to say composed. You must be in a terrible amount of pain."
"Ehh…" Sonic refused to confirm or deny.
"Right. Well… Knuckles usually has… it's like an herbal concoction for pain. It's exceptionally strong. Should be enough to help yo—"
"—The kava mix stuff? Nn-nn. I can't take that."
"Why not? Are you allergic or something?"
"No man. It's too strong. That stuff knocks me out for days."
"It's more like a few hours, which you probably desperately need at thi—"
"NO." Sonic snapped.
Mighty raised his brows at that, a bit surprised.
Sonic released an exaggerated breath, and began again. "I'm sorry Mighty. What I mean is, I can't… Knuckles is… he'll need… I just, I have to be awake when Knuckles wakes up."
"That could be hours Sonic. You clearly need rest. You need time to heal."
"And I'm not saying I won't do that, but… I can't take anything that will keep me knocked out if Knuckles wakes up sooner. It's… I need to be able to… be…"
"Ok," Mighty accepted, halting further explanation. "You don't have to explain. I understand. Unfortunately, I don't think we have any alternative as strong as that medicine. I know Amy arrived with up a crate load of supplies though. There's bound to be something with med kits, but it may take a bit to pull them out. Let me see if someone can head out to unload that stuff now."
"I can deal with waiting. Thank you Mighty."
"Kay, one sec, let me send someone out there to find it."
Mighty quickly made his way back to the door, popped his head out and, from Sonic's range, mumbled something to somebody. There was a short back and forth exchange, and then Mighty closed the door, and returned to Sonic's side.
"Alright… Now about your shoulder. For now I'm just going to try to clean off the blood, and disinfect around this wound. I don't want to undo anything Knuckles has done to treat this. I trust he knew what he was doing."
"Yeah, I suspect you're right about that."
"Espio is a little more familiar with traditional—or untraditional… I don't know—healing methods, so I'd rather defer to his opinion about what else we should do about this… if anything. Ok?"
Sonic nodded silently in reply.
As Mighty busied himself with preparing to inspect the wound, Sonic did his best to be still. He closed his eyes, arms wrapped around his middle, and measured each breath with significant difficulty.
Mighty began at the lower end of the wound. Though Sonic knew it was coming he wasn't prepared for the intensity that even a gentle touch caused. He jerked as the sting of it rolled into a wave of pain that caught in his breath in his throat.
"Shit, is it that bad?" Mighty asked apologetically. "I'm sorry."
"No…" Sonic winced when he could take a full breath again. "It's ok."
"Maybe we should wait for those painkillers."
"No, keep going. Let's just… just keep… talking… or something…"
"If you're sure…"
Sonic nodded, and braced himself for the pain once more.
"Fine, but let me know if it gets to be too much."
He waited for Mighty to continue, and was pleased that he managed only a minor jerk the second time.
"Well… the next time you find yourself, in the vicinity of Sunset Heights, you should come visit. Check out our new place."
Mighty spoke slowly, with a gentle tone, evenly paced, and Sonic found himself mimicking the measure with each inhale.
"Ok… deep breath now. I'm going to start at the bottom, inside, edge. Then I'll work around."
Sonic replied with a curt nod, and braced.
Mighty continued quietly. "It's an old building, just off the main street. The downstairs used to be a storefront, so it's perfect for our agency headquarters. And we're living in the flat above. The place stood empty for a long while, so we got a good deal on the rent. It's next door to a flower shop, run by this sweet older lady. Mrs. Aster. She brings us homemade cookies, and treats all the time… Still doin' ok?"
Another nod.
"Ok. Ah, but the reason I mention it, is for the hotdog cart on the corner, a couple of blocks away. Now, I'm not obsessed like you, but even I can't deny the chili dogs they make are amazing. When you come around, I'll treat you. Sound good?"
It was strained, but Sonic made an effort to reply. "Can't say… no to that."
"Yeah. Oh," Mighty chuckled, "And, Charmy has been petitioning the owner to rename the chili dog after you. I'm sorry to say, you're not as famous as you think. Charmy made a good case, but they have absolutely no idea who you are."
"What? Never..mind then. Deal's off."
They continued on that way for some time, with Mighty doing his best to keep Sonic distracted from the worst of it. At some point, Sonic had closed his eyes—teetering in and out of focus on the conversation. Eventually, another stir at the door roused him from it, though he stayed still as he was.
"Oh good Esp," Mighty greeted. "Come here, and take a look at this. And how is Knuckles?"
"Still resting. I bandaged a few minor cuts—his shoulder and one quill. His hand had the worst of it—couple of stitches where it cut deep, but overall not serious. His ankle on the other hand… I'm not sure. I redressed it. It is badly swollen, and may need to be reset, but I couldn't tell for sure. In any case, to heed Sonic's request, it will have to wait until morning so Knuckles can rest now."
"Alright. Good work." Mighty replied. "Sonic? You've been pretty quiet over here. Still with me?"
"Still here," he whispered.
"Good. Esp, take a look at this burn. Have you ever seen a dressing like this? I'm not sure how else to help with this."
"Chaos, that looks bad." Espio said, as he leaned over to get a close look at the wound. "What is that covering… Is that sap?"
"Far as I can tell," Mighty answered.
"Wait, this is a burn? You didn't have a better way to dress it?" Espio asked.
"Obviously not," Sonic snapped quietly.
"Uh, sorry. course not."
Mighty continued, "he sustained significant injury to it, after, being burned. Significant bleeding, and…" Might paused, glanced at Sonic, and then back to Espio, "I suspect Knuckles had to do this to stop significant hemorrhaging."
"Shit. Ok. I was gonna ask. There was a great deal of blood I couldn't account for with injuries while checking Knuckles," Espio replied. "Can't say that I'm glad it's yours instead. Thought maybe it was the other guys."
"Thanks I guess." Sonic droned.
"Yeah… Well, as for this," Espio said, waving a hand over the general area of his shoulder, "we can't remove it right now. The skin underneath is likely too damaged. It would do more harm at this point. I've not dealt with a dressing like this personally, but know it can be done. Sap like this does have astringent properties, and should be an effective seal against infection, so I believe it's safe to leave it as such. Hmm… Sonic if it's alright, I suggest we coat it with an aloe salve, to aid the burn and keep it moist, and then bandage up the whole thing to keep it clean. And we'll need to check it a couple of times a day at least."
"Yeah… cool. whatever."
"And maybe something for pain? Knuckles has—"
"I'm fine." Sonic gritted out.
"Uh, yeah, we're getting that part covered Esp." Mighty offered.
"I see. Very well then. Let me quickly collect a few supplies, then I'll take over."
"Thank you Esp." Mighty called as the other rushed out.
"Sonic?" He asked softly after the door fell shut again.
"Hm, yeah?"
"Hey, I know you're feeling pretty rough. Just a bit more to tend to, then we'll get you some rest too. Ok?"
"Yeah. Ok"
"How are you feeling now? You've honestly got me a bit worried with all these clipped two word answers. You fading on me? Any changing symptoms? Or is it just the pain from tending."
Sonic sat up a little and actually looked up at Mighty. He opened his mouth to reply, but found he didn't really know what to say. He felt overwhelmed by the combination of events, and his hazy thoughts, and the pain. But it was on him to deal with this part, he reminded himself. Eventually he settled on, "Yeah, it's the tending. Just trying to breathe through it."
"Alright… if something changes, please speak up."
Sonic nodded to that.
"I'm going to let Esp handle the rest of this, 'kay?. I need to check with Amy about something, and maybe make a call or two. After you are all settled here, I'd like to see that you get some rest. To make sure that can happen uninterrupted, I'd like to ask you a few questions about what happened. Do you think you can manage that?"
"Ughh, the hard questions?"
"Well, not too hard."
"I'd like to tell it just once… if I have to do it tonight."
"I'm not looking for a play by play right now. Just a few key points."
"Alright, yeah. Shoot."
"Ok. First, just to confirm, we tracked your comm to Robotropolis. Is that right?"
"Right."
"Ok. I think you implied as much, but you were there when most of it went up in flames too?"
"Also yes."
"Ok then. Primary question. Do we need to be concerned about any sort of retaliation or action by Eggman tonight? Anything you are aware of, or suspect? Anything specific to watch out for?"
It took Sonic a few measured breaths before he could speak through the pain. "Not tonight… It won't be… nothing will happen now. Nothing imminent that we saw… Maybe a few days. There's something, but… He'll… Eggman'll want to spring it on us."
"Hmm, That is his thing, isn't it? Alright. We'll be on alert regardless, but the insight does help. Alright. Also, did you find anything linking him to the drone device? Or any other clear signs it was Eggman targeting Knuckles?"
"We… did…" Sonic closed his eyes involuntarily, and hoped desperately that Mighty wouldn't ask him to elaborate just then.
Instead, Mighty placed a hand on his uninjured shoulder, and squeezed gently. "Alright Sonic. If there is nothing else urgent at the moment, we'll leave it at that.
Again, Sonic just nodded.
When the door creaked, both Mighty and Sonic looked up. Espio had returned with several supplies. He returned to Mighty's side and began to lay it all out strategically.
"Well then Sonic, I'll leave you in Espio's capable hands for now. Also if you need me, I'll be at the shrine after this. I've got the next watch."
Sonic nodded, waving him away gently. "Thank you, Mighty… for everything."
"Get some rest."
—
After Mighty departed, the room descended into quiet. Espio worked quickly, and directed him only as needed, cleaning, treating and then wrapping the wound. Sonic wasn't bothered by the change; he'd almost have dosed off several times, if not for the repeated jostling pains, and occasional repositioning so that Espio could properly place the bandages.
Sonic lost track of the time, but felt it might have been twenty minutes when Espio tapped his good shoulder a couple times and said, "Still awake there?"
"Hmm… uh yeah."
"We're all done."
"Oh… Ok."
"Would you like to rest here?"
"I need… to go stay with Knuckles. When he wakes up I need to…"
Sonic dropped off that line of thought, but Espio didn't press him on it.
"Very well. Here, let me assist you.
Espio, helped him to his feet, and with an arm around him from the left, walked him across the room. As Espio reached out to open the door, Sonic could hear a bit of conversation ongoing in the living room.
"—out by the shrine. I don't think I've ever seen him so angry."
"Who wouldn't be? Poor kid. Is that where Charmy disappeared off too? I thought he—"
Amy and Vector stopped, and watched as they emerged from the room.
Espio helped him through the doorway, but then Sonic unattached himself, whispering, "I'm alright."
Amy was curled up in one of the wicker chairs with a blanket and mug, and Vector was stretched out across the couch.
"All patched up then?" Amy asked, with a fair amount of hostility remaining.
"Yeah," Sonic forced out breathily. The room felt tense. He closed his eyes, and reminded, himself once more that he'd given them all fair cause to be angry. Very angry.
He wanted to see Knuckles. And he wanted to be alone, to drown in this pain and regret in silence, but he owed them… more than that—owed answers. He wanted to do it before they demanded it of him. And before Knuckles had to take any part in it.
Sonic managed to walk the few steps it took to reach the couch without conceding any difficulty. He leaned against the back edge, opposite the end Vector was sitting on.
"I'm sure you have questions. Go ahead. Ask." He said, trying his best to conceal his exhaustion.
It was quiet for a couple of beats, then Vector asked, "how 'bout why the hell'd y'all end up in RoboCity?"
Before he could answer the croc, Espio interrupted as he came to stand next to Sonic. "Perhaps we should save this conversation for later Sonic?"
Sonic sighed, and waved dismissively at the chameleon. "I'd rather just get it over with." Then cringing inwardly at his own answer. He said, "we went there to see if we could find a lead on the drones."
"And? Did you?" Amy asked expectantly.
"Sort of…"
"Sort of how?" Vector snapped gruffly.
"We… came across some that looked very similar."
"And?"
"And… nothing. We couldn't…" Sonic thought back to their encounter with the drones and badniks. How they had absolutely fumbled that opportunity. "We weren't able to… get any information on them."
"Oookay. That's all," Vector replied.
Amy asked next, "how about explaining the logic behind going, but not telling anyone. No rings, no comm, no pla—"
"I did have my comm." Sonic countered.
"But you didn't use it," She snapped back.
"Well… no." And Sonic had to wonder about that for a moment. Why hadn't they used it? Right after he'd been shot, they'd probably still had it. Too much bickering? Honestly, he more or less assumed they would just walk out, even with another badnik encounter or two. At some point thereafter he'd lost it—in the whirlwind of the forcefield going up. Though at that point, he mustn't have been thinking clearly either because calling for help hadn't crossed his thoughts. Then again, the immediacy of that hadn't really allowed more than a desperate reaction either.
"Not too sure about that one, huh?" Vector interrupted his thoughts. "Why don't we just get to the point. What the hell happened that you ended up like that, and that put Knux's lights out."
A streak of anger ran through Sonic at Vector's choice of words. "I got shot obviously," He gritted out.
"Nah, that's not it. Come on. Y'all were runnin' round that city, fer half a day, and you got no story to tell about it?"
"I told you. We went to look for the drones. It took a long time… or we spent a long time, and weren't able to get more info on it. Then I got shot, we tried to get out, and…"
Sonic's thoughts hit a wall. For a moment he was stuck in the memory—seeing the forcefield go up. The shock of the moment, and fear for Knuckles on the other side.
"And what man?"
Sonic looked up, and tried to shake himself out of the pause. "And we ran into Eggman."
"Of course you did." Amy said over an eye roll. "And how did that go?"
Sonic stared back at her, and began to realize he wasn't ready for this—to detail it all.
"We… we… he set off the self destruct, so… we had to get out. So we got out. Ok?
"That's it huh?" Vector asked, clearly suspicious.
"But… you weren't just in Robotropolis. Were you?" They all looked up at Espio who had spoken for the first time. He went on. "I mean, we didn't hear anything for hours after the city blew. And, look, I'm not trying to call you out, but there is no pine forest surrounding Robotropolis. And trees that are in that radius are half dead for miles, so you must have gone somewhere, right?" Espio frowned, then considering, added, "or at least Knuckles did, to treat your shoulder like that."
Sonic stared back at Espio wide eyed. There was nothing about those hours in the woods he wanted to repeat. Not yet anyway. He could feel his anxiety rise like a sudden wave all over. He thoughtlessly stepped back, but quickly regretted it, because with movement he was still very dizzy.
Vector began again. "Oh yeah, what was all that snow outside too? And Metal. That was his head right? We gonna get answers or not?"
"Sonic?" Amy asked, not sounding so angry this time.
His thoughts were suddenly a jumbled mess. Scenes from the last day, flitted in and about, all out of order;
The intense shock of pain striking his shoulder; The flash of fear in Knuckles as the door swooshed open behind him; dread when he realized Knuckles wasn't in the hanger fighting with him anymore; and again when Eggman had him by the throat; anger at himself; anger at Knuckles—screaming and shouting, vision gone blindingly red; the elevator doors broken. The elevator doors melted shut.
"—Dude come on."
"Vector! Stop it. Sonic. Hey." Amy tried again. "SONIC."
"Maybe, you should sit down." Espio added, taking a step closer to him.
He blinked and then came out of it. They were all staring at him with varying levels of concern. He was frozen there, but then, in a blink, was across the room at Knuckles' door. For once even he wasn't sure how he'd managed that, because everything was dizzy swirling pain, and memories flashing.
"Hey! Sonic… Wait." Amy called when they all realized he had moved. "Are you alrig—"
"—DON'T! Just leave me alone."
He didn't wait for their answers—heard them calling after him anyway—but opened the door and had just enough control to not slam it behind him.
He collapsed to his knees, forehead to the floor, and let the weight of dark memories overtake him.
—
Sonic hovered in and out of awareness for a long time—hours perhaps. At some point he'd crawled away from the door, and curled up against the wall. His waking moments and sleep alike were dominated by the worst moments in a feedback loop, and as the hours passed he began to wish he'd just fall unconscious instead.
In the midst of one of his more aware spells, something shifted outside the room.
The door knob clicked lightly, and then drifted open slowly.
Someone peeked in, held on Knuckles and long time, then spotted him on the floor, and slipped inside quietly. When they stepped far enough into the room, the pale light seeping through the far window revealed it to be Rouge.
She walked over near the bedside first, and stood silently inspecting the figure on the bed.
Almost a minute passed before she spoke—long enough that Sonic had almost drifted back into his hazy, pained, half sleep.
"Why are you on the floor?"
He looked up, and found she was standing above him.
"Wha..?" he slurred groggily.
"What are you doing down there?"
"Uhh…" He couldn't think up an answer he felt worth sharing.
"Get up."
He stared back for a moment, then shook his head, but had to stop for how severely that aggravated the pain at his temples. Instead he squeezed his eyes shut, then forced himself to blinked several times in attempt to wake himself up fully.
When the pain and grogginess subsided enough, he forced himself to his feet, with some difficulty, to meet her face to face.
"Hey… I guess you're here to rip me to shreds too." Sonic whispered roughly. "Go ahead. Lay it on me."
"Pssh, spare me your pity party."
"Oh? Is that what... this is? Good to know."
"Follow me."
He was a little confused when she turned, and walked around the bed to the far end of the room. There she began to roll up a hanging bamboo shade, which breezily obscured an open air window. "Come on," she said again over her shoulder.
After a moment, Sonic crossed the space cautiously, not really sure why he was complying.
"Outside." she explained, when he reached her side.
Sonic looked out the window, found nothing amiss. Just the same foggy mist glowing in the moonlight. He turned back to her, and then realized from her nodding gesture, that she was actually directing him to go out. He looked back outside, and then to her again, and decided it was probably less effort to just go along with whatever this was.
Maneuvering through the window was less than ideal—the movement pulled at his shoulder, causing it to sting. To get through, he sat on the ledge and awkwardly swung each foot over, then carefully slid off and touched down on the grass.
He moved out of the way, and turned back, just in time to see Rouge vault through in one swift bound. A slight flap of her wings just as she straightened out set her down in the grass with an unnecessary touch of grace.
She passed Sonic, and walked a short way down along the wall, before turning back expectantly.
"Come on. We need to have a chat."
Sonic looked back and forth from Rouge to the window, and for a moment wanted to snark that they could have just stayed inside for that, but then realized it was obviously for Knuckles' sake they'd left.
The thought shouldn't really have been more than just that, but in that moment it shattered him.
It struck with an overwhelming wave of guilt, immobilizing him, so he couldn't think. The weight of everything felt like a suffocating ache in his throat anew, while his thoughts rifled back through the cascading sequence of poor decisions that he'd made, and finally slammed him back into that soul crushing moment at the elevator doors, where he'd felt all hope desert him, unlike he'd experienced before. He was stuck in the moment, each scene quaking through him; he saw it again—the doors, Knuckles on his knees, and then that doomed feeling he'd failed them—again and again.
Then, something was moving him; he was vaguely aware, someone was pulling him down to the ground. He didn't fight it.
Once down, his hands pressed hard into the ground and found grass. He palmed at it, fanning his fingers through, and grasping. It was a slight thing, but it helped tether him to the present moment. He stayed that way for a long time, just breathing in the stillness.
Several minutes passed, before an interruption came.
"So… is it the pain, or is it whatever went wrong, that's got you stuck?"
Sonic frowned, and opened his eyes. It was dark. He looked up. Rouge was sitting across from him.
Sonic frowned again, and then slowly sat back, shifting his legs from underneath himself, to cross in front. He hunched over wearily, resting elbows on knees, and forehead on his clasped fists.
"What are you even doing here Rouge?" Sonic asked, a rough whisper. "I thought you were going to intercept Shadow today."
"Yes that was that plan, until I got diverted to Robotropolis."
Sonic sat up straighter at that. "You… what!?"
"I see nobody filled you in. Well, let's see; Amy asked me to go scout out the city, after you boys didn't turn up. Mighty wouldn't agree to go—insisted the Chaotix had to stay here, to secure the island. Disagreements got a little heated, far as I could gather. Anyway, I was the only person within a reasonable proximity of the city, so Amy asked, and I agreed."
Sonic let this new information sink in. Something Amy had said earlier, about when, how early she'd registered their absence came back to him alarmingly.
"You didn't… weren't there when…" he wondered frantically.
"When the explosions went off? No… I saw it. I was en route. My ears are still ringing, but no, I was miles out."
He swallowed hard, and felt momentarily thankfully for that—that he hadn't endangered another friend so severely.
He didn't know what else to say, so he settled on an all encompassing, "I'm sorry," then pressed the heels of his palms against the pressure at his eye sockets, and shuddered a weary sigh.
He stayed that away a long while, until Rouge reached out, pulled back his left arm, and pressed something into his hand."
"Here. Take these."
He found two pills resting in his palm, and looked up at her, question written on his face.
"Courtesy of Amy. She said you ran off without taking anything before."
"Hm. So... she sent you to drag me back out then?"
"Oh please, it's not an intervention. Take the pills."
She pulled out a canteen then too.
Reluctantly he accepted, and brought the pills up to his mouth before he remembered to ask, "wait are these going to ma—"
"Yes, yes, I heard your protest about that too. They're just for pain. Strong and fast acting, but they won't put you to sleep."
He resisted for a few more seconds without any good cause, then went ahead and took them.
"Thanks, I guess."
"It should take the edge off at least. Heard you got yourself banged up pretty bad."
Sonic ignored that last bit, but still felt as though he owed her something in return, especially for the way he'd inconvenienced her. He resigned to himself to just accept whatever lecture was headed his way—though at this point he wasn't sure he could actually even stay awake through it.
"Alright then Rouge. What is it you wanna to know?"
She didn't jump to answer right away. She'd been sitting, legs crossed, across from him, and stretched her arms behind and wings out then, to lean back casually.
"Hmm. Hmhm hmm. What do ya want get off your chest Sonic?" She asked with a sly look.
It was so unexpected, that question. He felt momentarily affronted by the implication that there was anything he wanted to tell her. He was indignant of the request, and had half a mind to say as much, but something stopped him. It was kind of all wrong. Wasn't it? Why wasn't she more angry? His anger fizzled out in a snap, unmatched, and was replaced by confusion.
The day before, or two days? Whatever evening when they had spoken—he truly couldn't make proper sense of time anymore—she'd been almost hostile during their call, while Sonic had explained Knuckles' condition after that first collapsed. So what was this?
He gave her question another cautious consideration. She seemed relaxed—completely unrushed of the urgency the day's developments rightfully should have demanded.
"You… you don't seem…" He dropped off, unsure of the correct adjective.
"—Like I'm going to interrogate you? Yeah. I heard how well that went before."
"Oh…" Sonic replied, unsure of how else to respond.
"You know, a lot of people aren't really used to… dealing with trauma. Couldn't spot it if it was staring 'em in the face. And some… just don't know how to help it—especially when they're being shut out."
"You… you think I'm…" He didn't finish it. Didn't really want to say it.
She pointedly raised her brows at him, and he thought. 'Ok, yeah. Maybe.'
"What makes me so obvious then?" he countered back. "You don't even know what happened."
"Familiar territory. Just call it a hunch."
Sonic couldn't tell if "familiar" was supposed to mean personal, or if it referred to the company she kept, but he suspected he would't be welcome to ask either way.
He took a long steadying breath, and thought again about the question. And about the flashbacks that had been haunting him the last hours.
He stalled for several more minutes, starting, stopping, and repeating a conversation in his head, not sure if he would actually speak the words. It was so unfamiliar—feeling as though he couldn't speak. He who was the master of all quips, and comebacks.
Rouge waited patiently, still unbothered.
Wanting more than anything to feel unstuck, he finally blurted out, "I don't know…," And somehow that helped to break the dam. "I… I got us killed. I… We couldn't…"
She frowned, seeming mildly confused, and said, "you're here. Well enough… alive."
"But it wasn't… I… ran us into a dead-end. Like a REAL, no options… we're going to… die… dead-end. The fact that we are here at all… I know it wasn't luck, but I'm not sure what else to call it. It doesn't even matter. I put us there. It was on me, and I would have killed us."
"Okay, Sonic… Wow… You'll probably take this the wrong way, but you need tone it way down with the God complex. I know you do the whole Super Sonic hero thing, but this is… it takes some ego to hold yourself responsible for the death of two people whose hearts are still beating, and very much alive."
"Is that supposed to be helpful?"
"I could just as well tell you not to be an idiot, but either way you probably have to come to the conclusion on your own. For what it's worth… that does sound like it was really awful."
Sonic met her eyes, and despite only the dim moonlight, he could see that she meant the last bit with genuine sincerity.
"So..." she continued, "is that when you warped back here? Out of the dead-end?"
"What? No. That was... no. That was hours before."
"Knuckles got you both out then?"
"Not from that... no."
"Oh?"
Sonic, huffed, half in disgust. "Crazy as this sounds… Metal Sonic found us, and helped bust a way out."
"Um… Oh. Okay. That… is surprising. He didn't try to kill you?"
"Not while I was conscious."
"Huh… So what then? He carried you both out?"
"No. I took Knuckles, and we ran after Metal. Followed him out."
"Oh, you ran after him," Rouge said pointedly.
"Yes… I… That's not… If you're going to tell me I shouldn't feel bad, then you can just save it. I still almost got us killed."
"Hun' I'm not going to tell you how to feel at all. I'm just pointing out that your expectations and feelings about it are selectively omitting some of the truth. Specifically, to make it exclusively your fault."
"So what. It's still my fault we were even there."
"That's true."
He looked up surprised, and annoyed, and focused a glare on her. "If any of this is supposed to make me feel better, it's not working."
"Ooh. You've got the wrong idea. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything for you. I can't make you feel anything. If this is all that's eating you up, go back and wallow. It sucks. It was awful. I get it. It's not snap your fingers and feel better kind of thing. But… if you don't at least tell yourself the truth, you'll just get stuck in that doom and gloom loop.
Sonic wanted to be mad still, but he sort of just wasn't—couldn't muster the effort.
"I'm not going to force you," she continued, "but one thing that actually helps—it's hard, but it helps—is just talking about it. Especially you Sonic. I don't think you're predisposed to keep your mouth shut this much."
"Oh… that's nice. Thanks," he shot back over an eye roll.
"Just sayin. I'm all ears if you want to try."
Sonic sighed. He thought about other moments that were eating away at him. He thought about Knuckles back in the forest, and in the city. If he was struggling this much himself, how would he help Knuckles who bore the worst of all this mess. Maybe Rouge had a point. He couldn't stay stuck in it. Not if he was going to help Knuckles.
Sonic repositioned before continuing, off his tail, more to the left, shifting slowly to avoid jerking his right side where the pain was still immense.
It was a long time again before he found the words. He looked up at Rouge to make sure she was still willing, and she gave him a nod.
"It's… bad Rouge... worse than we thought probably."
He watched as her expression changed to a concerned frown.
"Eggman was waiting for us… for Knuckles. There was this forcefield…nothing I tried… I was just stuck there… watching. I still don't even know all he said exactly, but… Chaos, Knuckles had him. Had him by the throat—could have knocked him out, or much worse. Could have ended him." He shook his head at the memory, then looked up at Rouge. "All it took was a whisper. Eggman spoke and… never in all our years, I've never seen Knuckles like that. He just… gave up. Just like that Rouge. And then… chaos, I thought… Eggman was strangling him. I thought I was going to watch him die right there."
Saying it, seeing it again as he spoke, ran a cold chill down his spine. He felt it in his hands too, a tremble that he tried to suppress.
He pressed on after a rough breath.
"Afterwards it was like… Knuckles, he was… was… "
"—Defeated." she supplied.
He wasn't sure how she knew—he didn't have the words himself—but it didn't surprise him that she did. They were close. Maybe so than he and Knuckles in the last couple years. He nodded almost timidly, behind the sting of shame, at that truth.
When Rouge spoke next, there was venom in her voice.
"Eggman, knows there is a scar there he can manipulate."
"And he enjoys it." Sonic added, as the memory filled Sonic with rage. "He was practically vibrating with glee the whole time… orchestrating each beat… knowing he held a soul crushing blow."
Concern won Rouge over at that point, and she whispered, "how… how is he now?"
Sonic scoffed pitifully, "worse than me. He's… chaos Rouge, it was like… the world stopped for him in there. Nothing existed outside of that awful moment. And then… the self-destruct…and our dead end. He gave up… I saw it, But then… in the end… after Metal…he—Knuckles—was the one, who… got us out… and saved… I— I was in bad shape. Hell… I don't even know. I blacked out. I was… bleeding out. I almost got us killed, and he… quite literally… save my life." He shuddered a breath and continued, "How is he? He's… shattered. And still… he was more worried that all of you were in danger, and that I wou… wouldn't…" He couldn't finish it. His hands were trembling openly now with anxious frustration and grief.
"Always the guardian." Rouge was shaking her head. Sonic couldn't quite tell if it was a trick of the light, or if she was actually teary eyed.
He pulled his knees up, and dropped his forehead to rest there, and hugged himself, willing all the raw feelings to stop.
"Fuck… And… all I keep thinking is... he almost died…"
"It's still only been a few hours," She said gently. "It takes time for the shock of something like that to wear—"
"—No, no… he almost died, and... not five minutes before I was screaming at him. Gods, I was so angry."
"Angry about what?"
The million ways to explain it twisted his thoughts into a jumbled knot. It took several minutes before he found his way through it, but Rouge was patient.
"He's angry with me. You must know... I know he talks to you... still. We're… we've been drifting apart… for… I don't know how long. I'm trying to… fix… or make up for…" He stopped, frustration winning over, then tried again with a different start.
"He won't talk to me about it. He shuts down every conversation, or walks away, or ignores me! I don't… I want to…" Another long sigh and reset. "…When I came up here to visit him… I started to notice that things between us have gotten really bad. Worse than I realized. I've been, trying to work it all out; when it started, and… what he isn't telling me… or… what it was that I… ignored."
"All that going on and you still went to the city?"
"I know. I know. I do dumb shit sometimes. Chaos do I know… that was so dumb—taking him to Robotropolis."
"You say that now, but you'd be gloating if it had gone well."
"Hmm. Probably."
"So, I suspect you had a reason."
"Yeah. I care that he's struggling! I just… I thought it would be better for him to do something, instead of sitting around stewing all day. He kinda was losing it about being kicked outta here. It was just supposed to be a distraction… and yeah, maybe I thought we'd get some intel out of it."
"Is that all you thought?"
His eyes shot up to her, and then he chuckled despite himself. "Am I really that transparent?"
She side-eyed him matter-of-factly, and he sighed in resignation.
"I… guess… I hoped that maybe he would… see that I'm… trying… or, he'd see how much… how far I was willing to push for him."
"Sonic, I don't think it's a thing that you can fix with a single act."
Sonic perked, ears up at that. "Did… did he tell you something?"
"Only in confidence. Nothing I'm going to repeat."
"Ok, I don't want you to break trust, but I'm desperate. This is getting… I'm afraid if I don't make this right, something terrible… something else terrible, will happen. There must be something he said. Something you can tell me."
"He didn't Sonic. It's not like you think. He never actually said anything bad about you.
"I'm not sure I believe that."
"I mean, frustration at what you do… yes. A lot. But you as a person? He almost refuses too."
"But…" He struggled for a long time before continuing. Absentmindedly he tried to rub away the ache in his temples which still felt nearly splitting. He could feel his investment in the conversation growing by the minute, and he wanted to think clearly. "There are these moments where... he looks at me like... like… I did something truly awful to him, like… it's a… betrayal." He forced the last word out though it pained him. "And... gods, it kills me to say this—I don't know what it is. Everything I can think of… none of it should elicit that… that kind of rage… I mean, Rouge… am I really this oblivious… to not figure it out?"
She tipped her head to the side and asked, "did Knuckles do something terrible to you?"
"What? No… Why would you… even ask that?"
She considered a long time before answering.
"He mirrors you."
Sonic frowned, confused by the answer.
"No he doesn't… We're… like polar opposites. We're almost more different than we are alike."
"No Sonic, listen. He's a reflection of you. Sometimes, I think, that… manifests in peculiar ways. Ways like… taking fault for things he has no claim to.
Sonic cocked his head, "I don't understand."
"You… Maybe you're too close to see it. I don't know. Both of these things are true. Your strengths, your traits, likes, and lifestyle, yes, many of them are like night and day for you two. Yes, that boy, that echidna, that guardian who you met all those years ago—he may have been your polar opposite. But Knuckles—our Knuckles—he mirrors you so fervently it hurts him."
"I… don't understand… at all. Hurts him how exactly? What does that even mean? Like he's… jealous of—"
"—Listen. You know, after all these years, he still bares that burden of trusting Eggman, in everything he does. That misfortune of meeting him first. Of course he does. Of course he would. To be thrust into the wider world like that—first like that, to lies and deceit, and near destruction. It redefined his whole existence. But it didn't end there Sonic. You saved him. You immediately redefined it again. And you've been there in everything since.
How do you think he would recover from that? His whole existence shifted. He knew one world, alone, and then was thrown into another, so vast, beyond what he knew. How do you think he found his way in that new world?"
"He adapted… Sure we joke about it, but he learns fast… for the most part anyway."
"Sonic, it's because he had you. Not there with him always, but always, ALWAYS as an example. YOU, are the standard he measures his worth by. You set his inner sense of right and wrong, his moral code for this world beyond what he knew. Anything that wasn't there from before, became a reflection of you Sonic."
Sonic's heart began thumping away unreasonably hard, and erratic. Was it true? Had he truly never seen this in Knuckles?
"I… didn't know…"
"Of course not, Sonic… You soar above the rest of us with all that amazing ability and optimism, and benevolence. Anyone here would follow you to the ends of the earth. You'd never have to ask. And Knuckles—I'm sure you never expected anything more of Knuckles than a friend."
"But… I… why didn't he ever… how would I even… I…"
"Sonic, I'm not sure he understands it quite that way either. He has his own life, his culture, his duty. He's not waiting around for you to lead him, or show him. Not beyond the point to which he'd readily follow you into any folly or fate. But I think… his successes and failures are something he weighs against you… and it's a damn tipped scale."
His ears felt hot; he pressed them down, as though he could will the feeling away. Dots were connecting. A fuzzy idea was taking shape in his brain. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around the immensity of it yet to connect all the dots.
He shot up to his feet, unsure of his own intention, and swaying more than a little. He stared back down at Rouge, locked in the moment—unable to escape it.
One memory struck him then with alarming clarity—
Back in Robotropolis, 'Knuckles at the doorway, lingering with one hand on it's open frame.
"Because I don't know the answer Sonic." He'd said. He looked over his shoulder for just a moment. "I really don't know if it's you, or…" but he disappeared into the next room.
Sonic's eyes met Rouge. "Knuckles said something…" Sonic let his thoughts roll back and forth over that memory again. "You said… it manifests in peculiar ways…"
"Like taking fault for things he has no claim to. Yes."
"But… I was the one. I pushed… away."
"And he reflects you."
"I didn't help…"
"So to him, maybe… he gave you a reason not to."
"Or, I didn't help, so… maybe nobody will? He said that—everyone left…"
"Look Sonic, I don't have the answer. He never told me. But… what I could see in the way he… spoke around it—he always had you Sonic—until one day… maybe, when it mattered… he didn't."
It's a damning confirmation.
It's everything he'd been hoping it wasn't.
It had been nothing to Sonic at all. He'd simply taken some time to himself—'THAT'S A LIE,' his conscience 'd only been frustrated that Knuckles didn't side with him after that fight with Vector—'STILL A LIE!' No, before that he'd been jealous. It's the conclusion he'd come to on his own, but hated to admit to himself.
He'd considered it once, but abolished the idea so quickly—afraid he'd find himself to be so petty. Back at the start it was this; Knuckles had so freely invited the Chaotix to live on the island after it had taken so, so long—years—for Sonic to gain the Guardian's full trust. That was it. He'd been jealous—'A DISGRACEFUL TRUTH,' that voice in his head bit back.
Looking back now, perhaps he'd known, but not truly examined what a formidable presence he'd been to Knuckles. Perhaps if he was honest with himself, he could admit he'd relished in it a bit. And when Knuckles had evolved in trust and friendship—two traits that were deeply important to Sonic—he should have felt proud that he'd had the privilege of walking those journeys alongside him—in shaping them. But… he hadn't.
There it was. Childish. Petty. Disgraceful. He could see it now. How he'd changed first. He'd punished the guardian for his own jealousy. But perhaps worse, was that he'd refused to examine his own feelings about it, and in doing so, it seemed, had led Knuckles to believe that their broken friendship was his own fault.
And when Knuckles had asked him to come… Sonic hadn't.
He felt sick.
"Sonic…" It was a harsh whisper from Rouge. "SONIC. Sit down before you actually faint!"
Her words registered slowly. He was feeling dizzy again. It took effort to draw his eyes back to refocus on her. She was standing too, pointing a finger at his chest.
Sonic stared back dazedly.
"You wanna fix this?" She swung her head over and pointed back through the window. "Carry him through this Sonic. We haven't even begun to talk about what Eggman is planning. Knuckles needs you to be firm, more than he needs your pity.
BE the friend he NEEDS—when it's hard, when it's not fun, and when he hates you for it. Show him his rage won't run you away."
"But… I… I broke his trust. In the worst way. What if he won't—"
"Sonic… hon' you need to get out of your head, and above this part. Ok? Yes… you screwed up today—a lot. If I didn't already know you were struggling with him before this stunt, I'd be furious. This is a damn mess we're in."
"Are you trying to make me feel worse?"
She stopped, took a long breath, and began again a tad gentler. "Sweets… Do you think you'd be here at all if he didn't trust you?"
"But… he won't even—"
"—Sonic, you KNOW he struggles with this."
That, Sonic was able to concede. "Yeah…" he whispered. "Yes… I do know."
She sighed heavily. "This is shitty timing but, maybe… stop trying to win him over, and just get through this first. Instead of trying to fix some inexplicable thing that happened ages ago, show him why he's always trusted you in the first place."
"I don't even deserve it… his trust."
"Sonic… You can't steal what is freely given. It's not for you to decide."
Rouge gently urged him back to the ground with her then, and they sat in silence for some time. Sonic could feel himself nearing the plateau of exhaustion. Though his pain had actually begun to recede slightly with the pills. His thoughts wandered fleetingly over all the things that had been said, and then back to Rogue herself. He couldn't recall ever having had a longer, more frank conversation with her, and yet she was able to lay bare everything—things he'd know, and things he hadn't. And it sort of made sense then—how she out of all of them—had become Knuckles' last confidant.
"Sonic…"
He looked up, met her eyes, across from him.
"The rest of us need you to be ok too."
"Yeah… I know… I know, I've gotta do bette—"
"—No. Not like that… Look Sweets. I don't imagine, or expect that you've told me every single little thing that went wrong today. I'm not that person to you. And, I don't know, maybe the worst of it stays between you and Knuckles. But, Sonic I didn't need half of it, to see that it shook you.
You don't end up here, in this space a lot Sonic—with all that soaring you do. Maybe this is as close as you've come to, really, losing the day in… I don't know how long. I meant what I said before. It takes more than a few hours for the shock to wear off, so I get why you're kind of spiraling."
She paused a moment, to collect a thought.
"This, what you've been doing since you got back—it isn't going to work. You can't help Knuckles, and nobody will be able to help you, if you don't forgive yourself a little bit."
That stung. Sonic didn't really understand why, but it was so, so difficult to hear. It wasn't even that far off from what he'd been telling Knuckles for days, but his next breath shuddered all over, leaving him shaky and unsure.
He countered back to her breathily, "You're doing an alright job," despite the vulnerable feeling.
"At helping? Sure... but most of the rest of our friends won't feel ok trampling your feelings this much to pull you out of wallowing."
He sat with that for a minute before finally, speaking.
"I... I feel like… I'm drowning in it."
"That—it just… takes time. Feel your feelings Sonic. Let it hurt. But don't punish yourself. Don't do that."
"Okay," he whispered.
"And about the other thing... Sonic—with Knuckles. Don't let yourself believe you're the only one who's ever been accused of a little jealousy."
That steals his breath again—the feeling caught in his throat and he couldn't respond.
"It's fixable. Just... priorities." She assured.
He squeezed his eyes shut and just nodded.
After a moment he felt her hand on his. She squeezed, in a gentle way, that he felt was almost foreign from her.
"Now go. Sleep." She said softly, while getting to her feet. "You need it, and I really need to get back out in the skies if I'm going to make my meet with Shadow and Omega tomorrow."
"You're heading back out? Tonight?"
Rouge nodded, then offered him a hand, and pulled him up to his feet all at once, with considerable ease. She kept hold too when he still swayed a bit.
"Can I trust you to get yourself back inside?"
"Yeah. I'll be alright I think. This headache just won't let up," he admitted quietly, rubbing at one temple. "Should I tell Knuckles you came?"
"Hmm… only if he asks I guess. I trust you'll know how to help him best."
"Actually, I'm starting to wonder if we don't have that reversed."
She smirked at him, then turned to leave but he caught her hand, halting her.
"Rouge..." With all the sincerity he could muster he said, "thank you."
She rolled her eyes at him, but then shared a warm smile and nodded. "I'm off."
"Good luck. Be safe."
She turned to leave. He did too, and was almost back to the window when something else came back to him.
"Rouge?"
"Hmm?"
"Can you have Shadow call me? Just, if there's a free moment? I'd like to ask him about something."
She scoffed playfully. "You won't enjoy that conversation."
"Yeah, yeah. I know," he said, and waved her away.
"If there's a free moment, sure."
"Thanks.
"Buh bye."
After that, Sonic crossed the rest of the way to the window. He paused, crossed his arms and rested his head there, bent over the sill. Exhaustion was ready to swallow him up. Fleetingly he felt a need to reexamine everything discussed, but couldn't get his brain to comply with coherent thought anymore. He nearly—or maybe actually for a moment—dozed off right there. It took considerable effort to force himself inside after that. Climbing through the window was awkward all the same, and not at all without pain, but with the promise of sleep on his mind, he managed it well enough.
He was ready to take his place against the wall again, but before he'd made it across the room, noticed a couple pillows and blankets stacked just inside the door. He paused, staring curiously, and decided it must have been Amy who had left them. She'd obviously spoken with Rouge before. Maybe she knew he was out of the room.
Sonic retrieved the bunch, and made a mental note not to let that gesture go unmarked of gratitude. This time he bundled up with pillows and covers, seated next to the bed, just below where Knuckles lay resting. It took a couple of turns to find an upright position that didn't pull at his shoulder painfully, but once he found it and rested his head against the side of the bed, he was asleep in an instant.
—
It was nearly first light before anything in the room stirred again. As the early chitter chatter of island birds ebbed away at the silence from outdoors, Knuckles began to stir. This time when he awoke, there was no confusion. He felt aligned, in this place. His place. The Master Emerald's energy moved through him, and all around he could feel how it reached across the island.
Something near him felt off though.
There was a weight on his wrist, which, upon inspection appeared to be a hand. He followed an arm down to a dark form at his left along the bed's edge, and reached down to tap Sonic on the head. It was only a moment later, as the hedgehog stirred, that Knuckles realized he'd been asleep.
"Huh...what?" came out a tired gasp as Sonic looked about startled, then spotted him. "Oh… Knux, you're awake," he whispered. He blinked several times, then gave his head a little wiggle, as though to shake off the sleepiness. He stopped abruptly though, as both hands shot to his head, and followed with, "oofff."
"Why are you on the floor?" Knuckles asked perplexed.
"Uh… well… I didn't want to wake you, I guess?" Sonic answered over a yawn.
Knuckles huffed tiredly at that, and extended an arm out to him. "Come up here."
Sonic accepted, and let himself be tugged lightly and half climbed up. Knuckles scootched to the side a bit, and Sonic settled facing him with one leg dangling off the edge.
Their eyes met in the colorless dark, and the moment hung heavy, the space around them hollow, with no adequate words to sum up the feeling that they shared.
Knuckles reached out involuntarily with his ungloved hand and grazed the top of Sonic's shoulder, brushing the new bandage, but pulled back with a start, when his brain caught up to the action.
Sonic found his voice again then. "You still worryin' about me?" he whispered.
Knuckles opened his mouth to speak, but before the words were out he recognized the smirk in Sonic's eyes. It was meant lightheartedly. He sighed heavily and let his eyes fall closed, and leaned into the headboard a bit more.
"So, I uh…I just want to…um," Sonic began, his voice still heavy with tiredness. "I'm sorry… about a bunch of things actually, but uh… specifically, if you're angry about…in the forest… how I pushed you at the end… I'd understand. I just didn't want you too—"
"—Sonic… I'm not angry."
"Oh…" Sonic fell off. "Okay…"
Knuckles opened his eyes and looked back at him. "I think we're a little beyond that at this point. Don't you?" he asked, the last words whispered.
Sonic flinched subtly at that. His eyes were full of questions, and more to say, but eventually he looked away, and whispered back, "yeah… I think we are," expression soft, and a little pained.
Knuckles didn't let himself linger over that. Instead he leaned back again.
"We're back." He said quietly.
"Yeah, we're back." Sonic echoed.
"We're… alive."
"Yeah," Sonic agreed, nodding lightly.
"We're…" but Knuckles couldn't find the words to continue. He squeezed his eyes shut, and shuddered a breath when Sonic's hand found his and squeezed it.
"Hey. We're alright. It's alright."
He looked back at Sonic. "Is it?" he whispered desperately, feeling small.
For half a beat, Sonic seemed caught off guard, but then he eased into a weary, but reassuring smile. "Or… if you're not yet, that's okay. That's totally fine. No rush." He waited and watched a moment, before continuing with, "I mean it Knuckles. There's no rush. If you wanna hide out here the whole day and not talk to anyone, or… if you want me let me explain all that's happened, or whatever, I'll handle it. Okay?"
It struck Knuckles then, what had felt off before. Sonic beside him, still squeezing his hand, felt weak. That energy that usually burned bright within and around the hedgehog, had diminished to a just a flicker of what it usually was. He'd not sensed it before, in the forest—but that had been a whirlwind of desperation and survival. Now, here, where Knuckles was enmeshed in his own prime element, the discrepancy hit him hard.
It gravitated towards chaos—Sonic's energy—with a predictably bold presence. It was consistent. This was not. And he could see it on Sonic's face—exhaustion, pain, eyes little bit haunted. The realization stole Knuckles' breath away for a moment, because it was frighteningly telling of how close Sonic had come to the edge of no return—to still be so weak.
The chaos emerald was there, in Sonic's possession too. Overwhelmingly so. Almost as though everything that was Sonic, was enmeshing itself there. That was a thing Knuckles himself knew—a feeling he couldn't properly describe with words—but had experienced through his link to the Master Emerald. The emeralds—Chaos and Master alike—could intrinsically heal, and sustain, those who were auspiciously aligned to them. It left Knuckles wondering how much they owed Sonic's life to the luck of acquiring that purple chaos emerald. How much had it carried him through the night?
"Knuckles?" Sonic asked, his voice tired and a little unsure.
Knuckles couldn't fight back a frown, or the ambivalence of guilt and gratitude that flooded him.
"Knux… we're gonna get through this, alright? I've got you."
Ambivalence turned to guilt under affection for his friend; for everything Sonic had suffered for his sake. Knuckles' eyes were squeezed shut, but he forced them open then, and forced a crooked attempt at a smile.
"I know Sonic… I know you do."
Sonic squeezed him a little tighter. And they let that be all for a while.
There was so much Knuckles needed to figure out. Things he wanted to ask about, and things he was afraid to wait on. So many things he should say to Sonic too, but he couldn't—wouldn't—speak any of it just then.
Knuckles was nothing if not a guardian, so he stayed. He held on to the stillness of that moment, because he knew, if he stayed, Sonic would stay with him.
And in this moment, that was worth protecting too.
TBC
Quake : to shake or tremble, as from shock, internal convulsion, or instability
NOTES
Hey I'm finally back, and so happy to be writing again. I hope you enjoyed that chapter. (Well, as much as one can with so much angst.)
So as of March 2021, ALL previous chapters posted HERE and on AO3 and have been remastered for spelling, grammar, and a number of other minor issues. If any of you happen to go back for a reread, it should improve the overall experience.
I've been doing a lot of planning on future chapters. At this point most of the holes are just unwritten gaps, not I don't know what to fill here gaps, so more than ever I feel like I'll be able to finish this massive story someday.
Thank you for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter. You are all so kind. I go back and read them quite often when I need some motivation.
~ Sarilleny