Fractured Frequency

by sarilleny

They have known each other as enemies, rivals, and eventually companions, but over time even the best of friends can forget that which brought them together. When a strange situation arises that may threaten Angel Island and its Guardian, can Sonic convince the echidna to trust in a friendship that was once strong, or will Knuckles insist on dealing with the situation alone.

10. Dampened

Future Updates Note: I'm going to continue posting new chapters here, but I've also been working on editing mistakes and issues on older chapters. Those updates are only avalible at Ao3 for the time being, so if you plan to reread any of this story, I implore you to check it out over there to get the best available version. Thanks. Enjoy! Ao3 - (/works/5183708/chapters/11942597)

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Fractured Frequency | Dampened

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"Knux… we're gonna get through this, alright? I've got you."

Ambivalence turned to guilt under affection for his friend; for everything Sonic had suffered for his sake. Knuckles' eyes were squeezed shut, but he forced them open then, and forced a crooked attempt at a smile.

"I know Sonic… I know you do."

Sonic squeezed him a little tighter. And they let that be all for a while.

There was so much Knuckles needed to figure out. Things he wanted to ask about, and things he was afraid to wait on. So many things he should say to Sonic too, but he couldn't—wouldn't—speak any of it just then.

Knuckles was nothing if not a guardian, so he stayed. He held on to the stillness of that moment, because he knew, if he stayed, Sonic would stay with him.

And in this moment, that was worth protecting too.

---

They remained that way, hand in hand a long while. Long enough that when Sonic began a telltale, sleepy, head-bob, Knuckles was able to convince him without much effort, to lay down. Knuckles followed suit, only to ensure no protest arose. Minutes later, the steady rise and fall of chest beside him, let him know that Sonic, utterly exhausted, was asleep once more.

He breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Sonic would be alright. They had escaped the immediate danger. He didn't know what else Sonic had endured while he'd been asleep, but knew many hours had passed, and was sure he needed this rest to heal.

Knuckles carefully pushed himself up to sit again. His muscles ached with strain and stiffness, from the wild exertion of the day before, and though he'd slept for hours the tiredness lingered. And it was more than that still. He felt shaky. Not exactly in a panicked way—he would not panic. Not again. No, he was determined to keep it together. He needed to stay in control. He would keep moving forward, and face the age old mistakes he'd made.

Only he wasn't quite sure of that. He was afraid to test his own composure. He tried to keep his thoughts surface level. Best to focus on actionable goals. He would need a copy of the book. He could get that. The emerald sensation too, was a question that demanded answer. He could ask Tails about the false his exchange with Metal left him very uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure he could do anything to resolve that. Perhaps Tails would have theories on that too. What remained was that he would not give into fear.

'Don't make space for despair.' He thought. 'I will not make space for despair.'

He thought it, and still shuddered all over. The rest was all there, just under the surface—great fear and anxiety and regret. It tightened in his throat, and in other moments made his fur stand on end. Each time he held his breath, and forced it away.

Without a clear conscious decision to do so, he reached down to the hand that had held his before. His next breath was lighter. Sonic would face whatever came with him. That was something he could rely on almost more than he relied on himself.

'Except—NO. No dark thoughts.'

He decided he had to do something other than sit and hide, or those feelings would swallow him up.

Knuckles waited several more minutes, to be sure Sonic had truly settled into deep sleep. When he held no doubt, he pushed himself up, and found the edge of the bed. He stared down at his feet, taking notice of the new bandage around his ankle, and how badly swollen it was. He'd noticed the ache as soon as he awoke, but this was possibly the least of his worries. He'd walked on worse—probably. Experimentally, he tried a gentle circular motion with his foot, and was rewarded with a white hot pain that shot all the way up to his knee. He forced himself to suppress any flinch, and decided he'd move off the bed before trying anything like that again.

He found his shoes were stowed at the bedside. He took them, and tucked them under one arm. A quick glance back proved Sonic unchanged, so he pushed himself to stand. He floundered a moment on how best to move about. If he were alone, he'd just make the best of it, pain be damned, but he knew that didn't work too well when others were around to force caution on him. He supposed that wouldn't matter until he was out of the room though, so he went ahead moving about with a heavy limp. He had to stop every few steps, to ease his way through it, but eventually reached a worn chest at the far wall across the room.

Knuckles lowered himself to sit next to it, released the latch, and then began to rummage through its contents. A minute's search provided him a clean pair of socks. He found another pair of gloves too, but with some reluctance put them back. He stretched and flexed his fist around the bandage on his left hand. It made his palm sting, and he felt a slight trickle of warm wetness underneath. The cut had been deep. He would just ruin the gloves if he took them now. Instead, he pulled on the socks, taking great care to avoid his injured ankle by doubling the cuff down at the heel just around his foot. Shoes next. He pulled the right one as loose as he could and left it unsecured, but the pain still made his eyes water. With that settled he braced himself on the chest to get back up, and then made another slow trek across the room.

When he reached the door, something entirely different stopped him.

It was one thing to let Sonic waltz back into his life after months—or more depending on how he decided to count it. Despite everything between them, there was something older there—something too long standing for Knuckles to shut out when Sonic repeatedly pushed. These last days had proven that.

But setting all that aside, he himself still felt so distant from... who he used to be, with all of them. With his friends.

There was a distinct before—a time where there had been adventure after adventure; where each new escapade rewarded new friendship. And with each new bond he'd grown, in experience, in trust, in life. Over years they'd become the closest thing he would ever know to family. He used to feel at home with them.

He couldn't name a single moment where it had all changed, but perhaps many moments where he had.

How long had it been? Months since he'd seen or spoken to some of them. Nearly a year since he'd parted ways with the Chaotix.

He laid his hand on the door, and his forehead against it. He wasn't even sure who everyone was at this point. Who waited outside this door? What had changed in the hours since they'd been away? And in the year he'd kept himself absent.

It was ridiculous, amongst all of his mounting fears that he should be afraid to cross this door, but it plagued him still. He felt lost among his friends, and lost without them. But, he could trust them.

'Right?'

Knuckles shook out his quills, surprised at that thought. Of course he could trust them. Where had that thought come from? It wasn't a matter of trust. It was…

No words materialized to answer that thought. He frowned. That didn't sit well with him, but he was already too mentally exhausted to examine it any further. He sighed, resigned.

'Trust is not my strength… but... it is theirs.'

Knuckles forced himself to hold on to that thought. The rest was a weakness he simply could not afford to harbor. He willfully pushed the other feelings away, and before he could give it any more consideration, he stepped through the door.

—

Across the threshold, the living room was still quite dark. He could make out a number of sleeping figures spread out around the room, so he hobbled through the doorway, then turned round to close it as quietly as possible. Just as he'd closed off the space, an exclamation rang from behind.

"Knuckles!"

Knuckles spun around and was immediately knocked back into the door—something crashed into him—and he nearly lost balance with a misstep of his right foot. Between leaning into the door and just clenching his jaw through the pain for a few seconds he managed it though. By the end of it he'd worked out that it was Charmy who hung around his neck, squeezing affectionately. The bee was speaking to him.

"—was so worried about you! Are you ok? Knuckles?"

"Charmy… Charmy, sweetie let go," a soft voice said from elsewhere. "Give him some space."

"Oh... oh, I'm sorry!"

Charmy backed off of him, but another grip snaked its way around his arm, holding him firm.

"Knuckles." Next to him stood Amy, with a warm but cautious smile. "Hey," she greeted.

With the momentary surprise settled, Knuckles shifted into a more stable stance, before smiling back shyly.

"Amy. Hi... I didn't know you'd be here."

"Oh, didn't you," she asked, mock surprised. She rolled her eyes, lightheartedly. "Why am I not surprised. No matter. Um. How... are you..."

Knuckles thought she might keep on, at first, but she seemed uncertain on how to continue.

"Uh, I'm... um… I need to go to Marble Gardens."

"Oh… Oh. Honey I don't think you're going to make it like this."

It wasn't really funny, but somehow the way she said it, and the complete understatement it made of the truth, caused a small laugh to escape his lips.

She smiled at him then. "Can we… Will you come sit with me for a sec? In the kitchen? We can chat and try to figure out what you need."

"Um… Yeah, ok," he agreed softly.

"Can I come too?"

Knuckles and Amy both looked over at Charmy, having lost track of the bee amidst their greeting. He was hovering nearby.

"Of course you can, Charmy," Amy replied. "Let's just keep quiet. Looks like these boys aren't ready to wake yet," she added, nodding over to Espio and Vector's sleeping forms.

"Ok! Let's have some breakfast too," he suggested, and zipped off ahead of them.

Before they moved though, Amy turned back to Knuckles, and eyed the door behind him. "What about… is Sonic alright in there? I peeked in a few times last night, but..." She seemed concerned, and a bit, something else, he couldn't make out.

"Sonic is asleep now," Knuckles shared, glancing back too. "We spoke for a few minutes, but he desperately needed some rest. I don't suspect he'll be up anytime soon."

"Ah, alright. Good, he's finally getting some real rest."

Knuckles raised a brow at that in question.

"Uh… it was just a long night for everyone I think. Sonic especially," she explained over a frown.

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"Hey, no need for that." Amy squeezed his arm gently, then repositioned with an arm around his back, so they could walk together. "Ready?"

Knuckles nodded.

They took a slow paced, but short walk to the kitchen. What immediately struck him was how overrun the room was with Tails' tech all around. Two monitors at the table, along with several other devices he couldn't identify, the drone was there too, attached with several wires to something. The interconnected mess of wires was so complex, Knuckles couldn't really tell what went where, but some of them stretched all the way out the front door.

"Knuckles?"

He hadn't realized until Amy spoke that he'd stopped.

"It uh, didn't look like this when I left."

"Oh. Yeah. I brought along a whole crate of stuff from Tails' workshop. I think he set it all up yesterday evening, just to pass the time while we were waiting."

"Oh."

"Um, is this…would you like to go somewhere else?"

Knuckles shook his head. "Ngh ngh. It's… ok."

Charmy zipped over and ahead of them to the table, where he rearranged some of the clutter, and then pulled out a chair and cleared a bit of space.

They continued to the table, and Amy pulled out a chair for him. "Are you hungry? Can I get you anything? Water?"

He shook his head again, then pulled his uninjured leg up to the chair, and rested his chin on his knee.

"Alright." Amy took a seat next to him then.

Charmy appeared once more with two glasses of water, which he placed on the table between them.

Knuckles whispered a, "thanks," and watched for a moment as the bee nodded, and fluttered back to the far counter to reifel through a new crate of what Knuckles could only assume was food supplies.

"So," Amy pressed gently, drawing back his attention. "Marble Gardens?"

Knuckles turned back to her, nodded, and then added, "there is a place there… well, an entrance to a place. I need to get something… get a book."

"A book? Um, ok well… Can we send someone else to pick it up? If we stay on comms, you could walk them through it."

"No, it's a sealed chamber. I'll have to unlock it myself."

"Oh… well then, how urgent is it? Should I go wake up the others?"

Knuckles bit his bottom lip contemplating that. That question poked at the barely packed away anxiety he was trying to keep locked up. Anxiety wanted him to pursue it now. He wondered again briefly if he could just go out on his own to retrieve the book, but tossed that thought immediately. Hindered with injury as he was, it would take him longer to get there, than it would take to wait for the others to wake.

All his contemplating seemed to tip off Amy anyway.

"It's really important, isn't it?"

He looked up through a worrisome frown, and nodded back a yes.

"If you… if it's that important to you, I'll go with you now. We won't be fast, and we'll still probably need to wake the rest of the boys but—"

"—No… no. Amy, thank you. I appreciate that, sincerely, but… later… will be, needs to be, okay I think. I don't even… what happened when we got back? When was that? And what happened while we were gone?

"When? It was a little after dark. Sonic teleported you here. I guess you two found a chaos emerald somewhere along the way. You were unconscious. Injuries were tended to, and… well that was the most of it."

"And while we were gone?"

She shrugged. "A lot of frantic worrying."

Knuckles cringed, and bit his lip at the aweful swell of guilt that stirred up. "I'm sorry."

"Hey. I want none of that from you."

He opened his mouth to protest, but faltered, unsure of her meaning. "From… me?"

Several expressions passed over her face in reply to that. She seemed to struggle with an answer, but eventually said, "I just meant…um, sorry, it's nothing. I'm… we're all just glad you both made it back here. Are you… uh, sure about the book thing? It can wait?"

"I need it, but… I think… maybe I need to explain…. everyone needs to know…"

"Okay. Hey, it's okay, you don't need to… right now. We'll gather everyone up and figure it out. Okay?"

It crossed his mind that he wasn't sure if he was frustrated or thankful that she didn't demand more details out of him.

He nodded in response, then settled his gaze to his knees. He felt out of sorts in so many ways.

She reached over and placed a hand on his forearm. "Let's get you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry—" but the words died on his lips when he looked up and caught the stern look she wore. He'd forgotten. It had been a while since he'd fallen under the scrutiny of Amy's intense will. Usually, it was something divided between him and Sonic, and sometimes Tails—usually for shenanigans of some sort, or otherwise less than sensible behavior. At first glance Amy could seem unassuming—kind, and bright, and gentle—which she was. But this. It was implacable, he recalled, her particular brand of protectiveness. Knuckles let the rest of his words evaporate on a soft exhale, and forced himself not to look away. "I… I'm not sure I can eat," he admitted a little shakily.

Her eyes softened at that. She reached out and placed a hand on his forearm. "Okay. I understand. Can you try? Just a banana. A few bites at least?"

Before Knuckles could reply, Charmy buzzed over from his place on the counter wordlessly, wearing a soft smile, with the aforementioned fruit in hand. He held it out to Knuckles.

Knuckles nodded and accepted it. He began to peel the banana, but paused midway, a bit uncomfortable with the weight of their stares on him. An exhausted exhale passed through him, and he asked the first question that came to mind. "What actually happened here while we were away?"

For the briefest moment Amy's eyes shot wide with an expression Knuckles couldn't parse. He hadn't asked with any particular motivation to pry, so it was unexpected. He also couldn't find the will to be curious. Instead, he forced a slow, mildly nauseating bite of banana, and listened when Amy began to speak.

She offered a conservative rundown of the timeline of the night—when she had first called Tails, a bit of the ensuing calamity in discussing how, who, when, and where to find them, and then her arrival on the island. The detail that finally got his full attention was about Rouge.

"Rouge went to Robotropolis!? Is she… Did she get hurt—"

"—She's fine. She got there after the explosions." Amy must have read some uncertainty in his expression, because she continued, "I checked her over myself. She's fine."

"Wait, Rouge is here?"

"She was. A few hours ago. She wanted to check, see for herself that you and Sonic were… well, that you made it back."

"Oh." Cautiously, Knuckles asked, "did… what did she say?"

Amy opened her mouth to answer, then stalled, "Uhh…"

He couldn't help but huff a bit in amusement at that. He could actually imagine a good bit of what Rouge had probably had to say. Her last words to him had included something about not doing anything stupid. He'd failed wildly at that.

Amy caught the huff, and smiled at him wryly. "She was concerned, Knuckles, and grateful you both made it back. I suspect you know what she would have said to you."

"Yeah," He replied, and nodded to himself tiredly over a frown.

"She said she'll call if she can, when she's back with Shadow and Omega."

"Okay. Thank you."

Knuckles set the banana down on the table with a bit of finality. He'd managed five bites or so, but didn't want to force any more of it down. Instead, he took the glass of water, and tried sipping it slowly. It was cool, and kind on his parched throat. By the time he'd made it through half the glass, the lingering nausea had faded some, those quiet moments let his mind wander back over all Amy had just shared. He didn't really want to guess at all she had clearly omitted, but it wasn't hard to imagine. He should probably just…

"I'm sorry," He bit out quickly, before he could decide otherwise. "I know it was… we were gone so long. It must have been… I'm so sorry. We shouldn't have… I've messed everything up so badly…"

"Knuckles. Stop."

When Knuckles looked up, Amy was watching him, expression firm, but kind.

"YOU, do not need to apologize. Okay? None of this is your fault."

Everything inside of him balked against that with alarm. It very obviously WAS, his fault. He'd given Robotnik the book! He opened his mouth to say as much, but the words died behind the aching lump in his throat. He stared back at Amy, eyes flooding at the edges, threatening to spill his weakness.

Amy watched patiently as Knuckles weighed his internal struggle. Long moments passed while he tried to press through something raw and intense, blooming in his chest. It felt hot, and wild, like it wanted to claw its way out, and he wasn't sure whether he wanted to stop it, or let it loose.

Something shifted. Very slowly Amy leaned forward, keeping her eyes locked on his, and pushed into his space. She took hold of his arm just below the elbow, then pressed in with firm, nearing uncomfortable pressure.

"Knuckles," she spoke with measured calm, "breathe."

Something clicked. He blinked, and sucked in a ragged breath, surprised by how much the action snapped the other feelings away. He stuttered over a few more uneven breaths, and tore his eyes away from hers, down to the grip on his arm. His arm was trembling beneath her hand. It took him another moment to realize he was trembling all over. 'What is this,' he thought. 'Why can't I…' The hand at his arm, pulled at him.

"Knuckles. You're okay. Just breathe."

His eyes shot back up to hers. She was watching and speaking to him so calmly, it was a little disorienting. Out of step with the pressure at his arm, and, and… oh. He closed his eyes, and forced himself to do it this time. In… … out… … in… … out… … in… … out… ….

He wasn't sure how long he went on for, but when he finally opened his eyes, all of it had dissipated—the shaking, the… what had that been? Rage? Despair?

Amy let go of his arm too, and moved back out of his space. She tilted her head, as she looked over him appraisingly, and said, "hey."

Knuckles sighed a shaky breath, and pressed his lips together. He didn't know what to say. He looked away.

"Knuckles?" She waited several moments until finally, he turned back to meet her gaze. "It doesn't matter to me right now why, what happened yesterday happened. I just want to help. Ok? Is there something, anything, we can do to help you right now?"

His urge to bristle against that simple question was palpable. He didn't want to answer questions. He didn't want to be here—or anywhere—where anyone could stare at him with sad eyes like that. He almost snapped something of the like, but managed to hold it in. She was being kind. Kinder than he deserved. Instead he breathed a deep sigh, and pressed the heels of his hands to his eye sockets, and tried again for many moments to reign in all he was feeling. For want of anything to fill the awkward silence, Knuckles asked, "can you… can you just talk? Keep talking about something else? Something not here?"

"I… yeah. Sure. Um… well, I've been growing my collection of house plants this winter. Got a few new additions, including a beautiful Christmas Cactus. But there is this one plant you know? It's… I got it a few years ago at a market from a small village on the eastern edge of Mystic Gardens. Can't remember the name right now. Do you remember when we all visited there together? Anyway, it's supposed to be kind of special. It's supposed to, when it blooms, it blooms at night. Spectacular flowers I'm told. I've had it all this time. Been doing my best to take care of it. I'm not the best green thumb or anything, but it hasn't died, yet. I almost chunked it out a few times, because it grows so slow. I started to doubt whether it was growing at all, or whether what that lady told me about it flowering was even true. Um, but to be fair I wouldn't actually throw it out, just so you know. It's still a cute little plant. So last month, something new finally happened! It grew this little bauble, at the end of a new shoot, and by now I am almost certain it's going to bloom."

Amy took a moment then, and eye'd Knuckles cautiously, a soft smile appraising him. He didn't get the impression she was done, or that she expected him to say anything—more just checking if it was helping anything. It was. He at least felt less of an urge to immediately scream leave me alone, at anyone or anything in his vicinity. He'd kept part of his attention on counting his breaths, slowly up to ten in his own tongue, and then back down again in common. At the same time, Amy's easy story helped keep his thoughts from wandering away to anything else—to anything of the looming darkness.

"Is it a Night Blooming Cereus?"

Both Amy and Knuckles started, and turned to the voice across the room. Charmy was still perched on the counter, watching them both. He raised a brow at Amy, mischievously, and asked, "well?"

"Uhhh, yeah. That was what the lady at the market called it, I think. How do you know that Charmy?"

"Our nextdoor neighbor Mrs. Aster is a florist. I help her water the plants in my spare time, and she has been teaching me about all different kinds of flowers."

"Oh really?" Amy asked. "Espio told me a bit about your new city office and flat a while ago, but I don't think I knew that about your neighbor."

"It's a nice place to live. Mrs. Aster has a Cereus too, in the Greenhouse back behind the shop. It's not a tiny plant though. I think she's probably had it for a very long time. It's pretty big. When it bloomed a few months ago she invited me over in the evening to see it. The flower only lasts one night. Did you know?"

"I did not." Amy admitted. "It sounds kind of amazing. I guess that's what makes them so special. Maybe I'll have to come visit you boys before long, and meet her. She sounds lovely."

"Yeah, she's the best. She pays me in cookies, for lending a hand." Charmy smiled extra bright at that. "I bet she could tell you why your plant is growing so slow."

As the conversation rolled on, Knuckles listened to their back and forth with a half hearted effort, mostly thankful that the discussion never wound its way back to him. They continued on about flowers for a bit, about the florist shop, and plants Amy had collected, and then Charmy shared more about the new flat in Sunset Height, and the surrounding area. Knuckles still caught Amy watching him closely—they were discrete glances off and on, when she thought he wasn't looking, but he could hardly begrudge her that. If the tables were turned, he wasn't sure he would handle her end of this with near as much grace.

It made it easier—to feel like he was skirting by at the edge of their awareness. Everything had felt a little distant since Amy had taken his arm. It was no longer the heart pounding, blood rush of whatever that had been, roaring through his head, but he did not feel like himself. He was listening, but it was distant. The minutes sort of just rolled by. He was floating. 'No.' He was stuck—imobile, and without options to fix anything until… until his friends were ready to help.

'This is fine,' he thought to himself distantly.

Several minutes passed in that same dream like fashion, until a new voice cut through the haze.

"Knuckles… I'm glad to see you're awake."

Knuckles looked up. He blinked. Espio was standing in the doorway.

"Espio…" His own voice sounded distant. Knuckles squeezed his eyes shut, shook his quills out, and tried to force the fog away.

Around him the others continued their morning greetings. The voices began to carry clearer, like he had just stepped in from a different room. When Knuckles opened his eyes, something felt clicked back into place—he felt present. Or atleast closer to it.

Espio walked a bit closer, then pointed down at Knuckle's foot. "How does your ankle feel this morning?"

It took a minute before Knuckles found his voice. Nobody in the room tried to rush him though.

"Good morning. Um… It's about as well as could be expected. Do I have… have you to thank for the proper bandage?"

"I did wrap it, but no need for thanks. May I," he asked, gesturing again at the injury.

Knuckles nodded and extended his leg out. Espio squatted down to inspect the ankle.

"Swelling looks about the same. It'll help to keep off it and keep it elevated as much as possible today." He placed his hands gently on either side of the ankle then pressed with moderate pressure, and down along the foot. "Hmm, I don't feel bones out of place, that would need to be reset, but when the swelling goes—"

"—I already set it.

"You… oh. Ok."

"Oh Knuckles. That must have been awful," Amy said with a look of horror on her face.

"It… it's fine." Knuckles offered, uncomfortable with the attention.

"Knuckles," Amy began, with more calm than was probably warranted. "It's broken, and you were walking on it this morning? Please don't do that again. We'll figure something out. Get you some crutches or something."

Espio took a less scolding approach. "Is it already healing then—accelerated through the Master Emerald?"

Knuckles nodded. "But bone does still take time. Maybe... a week, or so," he answered quietly.

"May I ask how you injured it?"

"Undue stress. It was already... I sprained it recently. I… should have taken more care to rest it."

"Well please, let us help you this time sweetie," Amy said, taking his hand. "We're all here to help."

He bit his lip, and looked down, uncomfortable again with all the attention directed at him. He gave a slight nod, and wished the subject would change to something else.

"Is Sonic awake too?" Espio asked. "He'll need a new bandage this morning as well."

"Oh, he's still sleeping," Amy answered, "but, Knuckles spoke to him, right?"

Knuckles nodded cautiously. "I did. He's in great need of more rest. Maybe… can we wait a while longer before disturbing him for that?" Knuckles requested.

"Of course." Espio frowned then, and glanced sideways at Amy. "How is… Was he doing alright when you spoke to him? Any um… disorientation?"

Knuckles looked back and forth between them, aware he was missing something. "Disorientation? Why… Did something happen?"

The pair shared another sidelong glance.

"Concussion I believe. He wasn't really feeling… himself," Espio explained cautiously.

"I see." Something about that explanation seemed incomplete to Knuckles, but he didn't have the resolve to push for more. He'd been the one to speak to Sonic last anyway. He knew well enough how his friend fared. Espio had asked a question though. He considered his answer. "Sonic was… clearly tired, and still in some pain I think. But not disoriented… no.

"Alright. Good. I'm sure you know, but that injury was quite serious."

For a blink, everything went pitch dark. The air is frigid, and the snow around him is speckled with splotches of red. A still figure lays before him in the snow. The feeling is DreadHopelssnessFearDespair…

"I suspect we'll see him resting most of today," Espio continued.

Knuckles smothered a gasp, and simply nodded. The voices around him had gone tinny and distant, like he was in some dampened void. A cold shiver ran down his back as he tried to pretend he wasn't losing his grip on reality. It took real effort to stay present.

"Well," Espio went on, "I'm going to grab a quick bite to eat, and then I need to go relieve Mighty of watch at the shrine. Oh, unless either of you need something of me first?"

The question sat idle for a moment. Were they waiting for him to answer? He squeezed his eyes shut, but changed his mind immediately. That scene… it was too clear. Too fresh in his mind. He needed to bury it—push it away.

"I… I'm sorry. What… what did you ask?"

"Is there anything I can help you with before I head out?

"Oh… um…" What was it he had wanted? He'd had a whole list before. The book. And… Tails. He needed to speak with Tails.

"You are going out to the shrine?"

"Yes, to stand the next watch."

If… if Tails is awake, could you tell him I… could you ask if he can spare a moment to come talk with me?"

"I can go check if he's awake right now," Charmy cut in and offered. "I'm not really doing anything else…"

"Oh. Uhh…" Knuckles glanced at Amy and Espio, unsure.

"Yeah, go ahead Charmz," Amy answered. "Let Tails know Sonic is doing alright too. Yeah? I don't think Tails really meant to fall asleep out at the shrine last night. He'll want an update for sure."

"Let Mighty know I'll be out there with breakfast in a minute too. 'Kay?" Espio added.

"Sure thing." Charmy gestured one exaggerated wave at all of them, and then flew off out the front door.

Espio crossed the kitchen to the boxes piled high with extra food. He rummaged around for a minute, then turned back to Amy and Knuckles to ask, can I offer either of you a bowl of oatmeal? Or perhaps something else?"

"No, thank you," Knuckles said quietly.

"None for me either, Espio," Amy echoed.

"Very well." Espio said.

The room fell silent after that, save for the ambient sounds of Espio's movement about the kitchen. The quiet put Knuckles on edge. He felt anxiously aware of his inability to leave. It wasn't even a feeling that he wanted to run away from Amy or Espio, just that he couldn't. He couldn't do anything. He could feel Amy's eyes on him though, and kept his own carefully situated staring down at his hands.

Nervous energy felt alight beneath his skin. He tried flexing and releasing his fists to distract himself from the feeling—it stung where his sliced palm shifted underneath the bandage. He slid his hands over his knees and squeezed until the grip became painful. He shifted—pressed the palm of his right—the uninjured one—over the spikes of his left fist. He pressed in with steady pressure, a step past discomfort—a step toward something else. It felt… almost clarifying. Pain blossomed in both palms, and crept up past his wrists. Knuckles shuddered a breath, and then remembered where he was, what he was doing, and that he was being watched. He let the pressure fall away, and pulled back until the sharp points of his spikes were only grazing skin. Another deep breath then to calm his nerves. He traced a monotonous pattern over his palm, and forced a long steady breath.

Knuckles glanced cautiously in Amy's direction, to gauge her expression, but found her chair empty. He blinked. When had she moved? He sat up straighter then, and turned to scan the kitchen.

Amy was standing with her back to him, at the hearth, where she had just placed a kettle of water. She turned and leaned over a stretch to tap Espio on the shoulder, and spoke something softly, but Knuckles couldn't catch the words. He wondered briefly if it was about himself; however, Espio nodded, replied with a more audible, "yeah sure," and then squatted down to pull a couple of logs out of the firewood pile. He held them out to Amy, who thanked him, and promptly slid them over the pile of embers.

Knuckles turned away again, to face forward, staring toward the wall. He intentionally placed both palms flat on the table, and drew in a long measured breath. And again, and again. The nervous energy was still there. He could feel it in his fingertips, and like pangs of weakness in muscles that stretched up his arms into his shoulders and neck. Flexing his fingers did nothing to dissuade the feeling, but made him fully aware of the tremor creeping through his hands. Was he shaking all over too?

'WHAT is wrong with me,' he wondered, not for the first time. He felt nauseous and sweaty.

Knuckles wasn't sure how much time had passed when Amy appeared standing at his shoulder a while later. She reached over to place two cups of tea on the table, brushed a gentle touch up and down his bicep. "Tea?" she asked.

He chanced a glance over his shoulder, and saw that they were alone. Espio was gone.

He closed his eyes for a few beats, and tried to reign in that sparking electric current of… discomfort? Nervousness? Anxiety? Panic? Was it panic? Why was it still panic; why was he filled with it still, here, on his island, in his home, sat in his kitchen, at a table carved by his own hand. Knuckles dragged his right palm across the Lacewood deliberately. 'This is home,' he thought. The table felt smooth under his touch—not perfect like metal, but intimately familiar to his touch, from hundreds of meals and moments spent sitting here, and from laborious hours he'd spent forming and refining the piece many years ago. He could barely stretch out a hand's length though, before he brushed up against the tangle of wires attached to unfamiliar gadgets that littered a mess across the surface.

Knuckles opened his eyes on a shaky breath. Amy had taken the seat next to him again. She offered a slight smile, and pushed the cup toward his hand. Knuckles attempted to return the expression, but wasn't sure he really managed it. He did take the tea with a nod of gratitude. The scent that wafted off of it unlocked an unexpected touch of comfort. It was his favorite—a spiced mix of Maracuja fruit tea. He wasn't sure if Amy knew that, or if she'd simply grabbed that particular jar by chance. Either way, the first sip felt like a moment of peace—warm, sweet, simple.

He took another sip, and did his best to cherish this moment. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine it was any other day. A normal morning. Just a regular day; a still moment before diving into the day's duties.

He raised his cup for another sip.

"PLEASE, tell me someone had the forethought to bring a coffee machine to this darn floating rock."

Knuckles spilled a third of his cup. Amy beside him startled too. She immediately pointed sharp eyes at Vector who had appeared in the doorway from the living room.

Vector stumbled in, blindly rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. When he finally looked up, He was clearly surprised to find Knuckles present at the table.

"Oh… Knuckles. Yer up." He stopped and blinked several times. His gaze shifted to Amy, then back to Knuckles slowly. "You uh, doin alright?" he asked, over the briefest pause of eye contact.

Knuckles, equally caught off guard, floundered for words, "um…" settled on a curt nod, then looked away too.

Amy between them huffed an exaggerated eye roll, probably at their flimsy attempt at communication. She pressed a dry washcloth into Knuckles' hand for the spill—which she might as well have materialized out of thin air for all he'd seen—then pointed back toward the crates. "There is some coffee pre-ground in a tin, in one of those boxes over there, and some filters too. No machine though. You'll have to do it the pour over way."

"Ugh. Annoying." The rest of Vector's grumbling was less distinct, as he followed Amy's instruction toward the supplies.

"Vector, just what did you do all those months when you were literally living up here?" Amy asked.

"I suffered through bad coffee till I ran out. Then I suffered more."

"Oh…" Amy replied, saccharin sweet. "Well, if that's all then. Go ahead help yourself…"

A faint grumble was all the reply she got.

"You're welcome, by the way," She followed up, voice thick with annoyance.

Knuckles had finished wiping up his minor spill, and kept his attention laser focused on what was left of his tea. The peace had been fleeting. Tension felt thick all around him once more.

If Amy noticed, she didn't push it. Instead she asked softly, "More tea?"

Knuckles nodded, gratefully.

Time still felt disjointed—like the flow of passing moments was expanding and contracting. He blinked; or, it felt like he only blinked, and then Amy was back, kettle and a tray of sweets in hand, and Vector was steps away from the front door, nursing a steamy mug. Without pause, he gruffly announced, "I'm going for a walk," and was gone.

"Alright. Don't let us keep you," Amy muttered under her breath. She shifted then—flashed a wry smile at Knuckles. "I don't know what is up with him. He's been in a mood since I got here." She must have caught something in Knuckles' expression then, because the smile faded, and her eyes narrowed on him.

"What is it?"

Knuckles took a steadying breath, then placed both of his palms flat on the table once more. He forced himself to keep his gaze on hers.

"Amy…" He sounded rough and shaky. "I… I don't… I'm not—" He faltered, voice breaking over his words. It derailed his thoughts.

Amy's eyes softened, and she reached out—placed her hands staggered over both of his.

"Knuckles," she whispered. "Knuckles. You are home. You are safe." Amy let the words sit between them for a moment before continuing. She squeezed his hands gently.

"You're safe Knuckles. You are not lost. You're home. Even… even if it feels like you are wandering here."

She emphasized "here," with two fingers pressed into his temple. They held there for a beat, then her touch became a soft glove cupping his cheek.

And distantly Knuckles realized, 'Oh. Oh, she's been watching me this whole time actually.'

The next few minutes got more blurry—a swell of feelings he just barely managed to contain in his chest. The minutes passed, but when he next pulled his face out of his hands, he actually felt less like he was shattering all over. Like… like maybe she'd told him a truth he simply wasn't able to see yet. And Amy was still there sitting next to him. She was watching him very carefully, but that sharp expression had faded.

She slid him a cookie, like she'd been waiting for the opportunity.

The cookie was good. No Surprise. No doubt she made them herself.

Several more minutes passed between them quietly, until Knuckles felt the uncharacteristic urge to break the silence.

It was a dumb thing to say, but the words fell out of his mouth before he could rethink it. "You don't have to stay here to… to watch over me, Amy."

Her brows raised. He wasn't sure if that meant surprise that he'd spoken, or incredulity at his words.

"Knuckles… sweetie I haven't seen you in months. Is it so hard to believe I'm happy just sitting here in the presence of my friend?"

Knuckles opened his mouth, then closed it—gave it an actual moment's thought, then gestured his head toward the door that Vector had disappeared through not so long ago, and quietly admitted, "I don't know, Amy. It's not that hard to doubt."

She did a sort of half eye roll at that, but it was fond. She was still smiling at him.

"You can't base that off of Vector. You know he gets moody.

Knuckles sighed, and nodded. His eyes slid closed.

"Thank you… Amy."

She slid a hand out and caught his nearest wrist in her hand, and slid her thumb up to press into his palm.

"Anything you need. I'm here."

---

Ten minutes on, tea cups had been refilled, Amy had managed to force a slice of sweet bread on him, and she'd somehow roped him into a light discussion about the art of bread making.

"—No. Bread the way you make it on the surface is not… it's not common for my culture. This…" he gestured toward the sweet bread, "we have something a little bit like this. Also sweet… but less so. It takes preparation to harvest the… we call it, 'Líik's...' it makes the loaf rise."

"Oh? It's a yeast?"

"Perhaps? Well, between that and milling the fine grains, I don't make it often. It's a recipe usually reserved for particular celebrations."

"Yeah, I've noticed the bread, or things similar to bread you usually make are of the unrisen variety."

"True. I think… maybe it was different before. Before the island was raised, maybe? When there was more trade between other civilisations. I've seen other foods and recipes referenced in older stories, but they sort of vanish in a practical sense in the less ancient texts."

"Hmm, that's curious. I wonder if those are foods that would still be familiar to the rest of us. And the next time you do plan to make that sweet loaf, I'd love to come watch and lend a hand. I'll share this recipe with you too.

Knuckles sighed. It was hard—it felt wrong to look forward to a time where that could happen, but… "I'd like that Amy," he admitted anyway.

He took hold of his cup then, and took a sip. He smiled a pained smile into his tea. It was helping—what Amy was doing—the neutral conversation, and simple comforts. It almost made him feel normal, in the way he used to feel easy among them. Even if he knew it wouldn't last.

"Knuckles?"

In the front doorway, Tails stood looking something between sleepy and teary eyed. He locked eyes with Knuckles, took one hesitant step, then bounded across the space to wrap Knuckles in a hug so ferocious, it rocked the chair. He wrapped his arms tight around Knuckles' shoulders, and tucked his face in the guardian's chest.

Knuckles looked up at Amy in surprise, and she shot him an apologetic smile. Though he wondered if it might actually be directed at the fox.

Knuckles focused back down at the fox in his arms and squeezed a little tighter. Tails sniffled a little bit tucked away at his chest and the whole thing hit Knuckles as a little overwhelming. He swallowed down the feeling, on a shaky breath, then slid his hands back to Tails' arms and pulled back a little.

"Tails?"

Tails squeezed him a little harder, then pulled back slightly to say. "I saw Vector bring you in last night."

"Oh… I… don't remember that."

"I know. I… I was so worried that… I was just really worried."

Next to them Amy stood, and took a step closer to them to place a hand on each of their shoulders. She waited until they both looked up at her, then said, "Morning. I'll give the two of you some space to talk. Tails sweetie," she waved in the direction of the sweets tray, "help yourself to any of this." then continued, "oh, and I'll grab you a cup for tea. The kettle is still plenty full."

Tails smiled softly up at her. "Thanks Amy. But you don't have to go."

Amy nodded. "No worries, I'd just like to go check on a few things," she explained. She crossed the kitchen briefly. Tails used those moments to detach himself from Knuckles, and slid into Amy's vacant seat.

"Knuckles has some things he was hoping to talk to you about, right?"

Amy glanced a soft smile at Knuckles upon her return. Knuckles nodded to her, then looked to Tails. "Yes, if you have time, Tails."

Tails stared back at him wide eyed. "Of course. Whatever you need."

Amy waved at them both as she made for the living room. "I'll just be a little while."

"Ok Amy!" Tails called after her. When he looked back at Knuckles he frowned and dropped his eyes to the empty cup. He busied himself by flipping some of the knobs on one of the larger devices near the back of the table. He wrapped up some loose wires too, before fixing himself up a cup of tea, and proceeding to simply stare down at it when he'd finished.

Knuckles couldn't tell if Tails was waiting for him to speak, or if the pause was something else. He also couldn't decide if he thought Tails was acting strangely, or if it was just his own ability to gauge what was going on around him that was still questionable.

"Tails?" he asked cautiously.

Nearly a whisper, Tails finally spoke. "Knuckles… are you okay? Mighty said… you would be, but… well, no one really knew what happened in the city. And…we didn't hear anything for so long. Are you ok… really?"

Knuckles blinked. It wasn't an unexpected question, but there was something in Tails' tone—something that made this fundamentally different from the way anyone else had asked him. Something just beyond his comprehension.

He almost replied theautomatic 'yes,' that was on the tip of his tongue, but he hesitated upon meeting eyes with the fox. This was Tails. Tails, who had made a point of calling him at least once every two weeks, over the past months where he'd kept to himself—to check on him, often under the guise of offering status updates, needing advice, or just curious questions—and often despite Knuckles' overtly gruff attitude about it. Tails, who had sent Sonic to check on him, despite the pair's squabbles—a preemptive move which now in hindsight, had certainly saved Knuckles from… something—though he couldn't work out the 'what,' here in the middle of it. Tails, whom Knuckles had trusted with his life on countless excursions, even years before, when the fox had been little more than a pup. And he certainly was not still that young pup that Knuckles perpetually seemed to remember him as. Perhaps it was because of their age difference that he'd not often chosen to confide in Tails, the same way as he'd grown to do with Sonic, but… at the very least, here… now, the fox deserved his honesty.

"Knuckles?"

When he looked up, his eyes softened at the sight of Tails watching him patiently. It really hit him, how much he'd pulled away from everyone—all the family he'd ever gained and loved—over the last year, for reasons… he still didn't fully understand himself—and that he could barely admit that truth to himself. When he stood face to face with most of them, his friends, he felt frozen—like he couldn't voice honest thoughts even for the sake of conversation.

And despite his retreat—despite his literal blocking out and ignoring of some of them—they were all here—all come at a moment's notice to stand at his side. Not that that was a real surprise to him, he just felt so very undeserving of such care.

"Knuckles?" Tails reached out cautiously and brushed his right forearm."Is something wrong?" Knuckles twisted his arm out from under the fox's touch, but then placed his larger hand over Tails', and looked away, contemplating adequate words.

"No. It's… Sorry. I'm sorry. You asked if… No. I'm not really… feeling… okay." He paused then, on a heavy breath, to allow those words a moment to settle. He'd never been good at sharing feelings. He'd never been able to share his whims with such thoughtless ease the way Sonic or Amy might, but this… now, it felt especially arduous. Since he'd awoken, every thought, every feeling, every person, or action, and inaction felt forced another long breath, and tried to reign all that in. He could not afford to lose himself to it again.

When he opened his eyes, Tails was still watching him, waiting patiently. Knuckles continued quietly. "I do need your help. Help with… some things happened in the city. Things I don't understand. And… things that I will need to explain… to everyone. I need your help, Tails, to figure out what it all means."

"I see. Of course I'll help, Knuckles. Whatever you need. Just tell me."

Knuckles nodded gratefully. "Thank you."

Tails shifted away then, and Knuckles caught a frown that began to take hold, as though something was bothering the fox.

Knuckles waited for Tails to explain, but when the fox didn't speak, Knuckles asked, "Is something wrong for you?"

Tails hesitated a moment, fists suddenly clenched. He appeared to be struggling with whether to speak. Eventually he asked, "Was it… something related to my testing that… whatever happened in Robotropolis… that caused problems?

"What?" And suddenly that tone in Tails' voice before made sense. It was laced heavily with guilt. The realization dawned on Knuckles so abruptly he almost jumped to his feet. It took real effort to halt that instinct, and instead his chair, and the whole table lurched as he sat up straighter, gripped the edge of the table and looked the startled fox in the eyes.

"No! Tails. No no no no no. Not at all. It was nothing like that. Nothing about your testing gave me any trouble, okay? When we spoke over the comm really I couldn't feel anything from it—that was the truth. That wasn't what went wrong. I'm sure all the experiments you did will be invaluable. There is nothing you should feel responsible for. We just… we ran into some trouble after."

Tails huffed frustratedly as Knuckles finished. He didn't seem relieved in the slightest. "But they won't… I didn't…" He huffed visible anger this time, and continued. "Knuckles… I had to shut it all down. All the testing. After Amy told me where you guys were, and when we couldn't get an answer on Sonic's comm… There was no way to know if something had gone terribly wrong. I… I'm so sorry. I don't know if I got anything conclusive at all."

Knuckles didn't realize anything could have made him feel worse. It was the logical response—to halt the testing. There was a perfect, reasonable flow of logic there that explained how anyone, and especially Tails could come to the conclusion that the experiments had caused some problem. It wasn't even such a stretch to imagine some link that would have placed Sonic and Knuckles in Robotropolis—something like; experiments notify Robotnic sends Badniks results in capture. But why hadn't that ever crossed his mind? Both he and Sonic had… what? Been distracted? No. The truth was he hadn't really cared to think about it. He'd wanted the answers the testing could give, but with all the frustration surrounding being forced to leave the island, he'd been so ready to block out any related thoughts. And the idea that going into the city would risk the testing—it never crossed his mind.

Tails spoke again interrupting his train of thought. "So… so Sonic really just… took you there?" Tails sounded a bit incredulous.

When Knuckles looked up he got the sense Tails was hoping he'd deny it.

"Um, we went to look for answers."

He couldn't stand the hurt look in the foxes' eyes that followed that admission. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you when you called. I should have. It was not supposed to… be that. We just went to… to look through the old badnik scraps. To look for something like that drone. It wasn't really supposed to be anything aside from that.

"Knuckles… I don't want you to apologize."

Knuckles' eyes shot up to meet the fox. "It was my fault too."

At that Tails blinked at him, all the emotions falling away, then gradually his expression shifted into half frown and half confusion. "I don't think so, Knuckles," he said slowly.

Knuckles opened his mouth to reply, but the words died on his lips. Amy had said something like that to him too. He hadn't taken it well. The words poked at that same mess of emotions he'd strangled into submission over the last hour. Now, they simply left a deeply uncomfortable feeling in his gut. He couldn't even quite put words to what, about it bothered him, aside from a strong urge to disagree the point. Any further rumination about it was interrupted though.

"How could he not tell me he was going to do that!?" Tails asked in frustration. "If he KNEW. If he was planning that the whole time! I was so mad when he got back, I couldn't even talk to him. I… didn't want to, but… he always… he always comes to apologize, or to listen, or whatever… if I'm angry at him, but… he didn't… he didn't even come. I fell asleep, out by the shrine, and he didn't even come to say sorry."

"Tails… you haven't spoken to Sonic at all since we returned?" Knuckles asked. He was suddenly painfully aware that Tails was looking to him for some sort of assurance—for an explanation probably, to absolve the anger he felt towards Sonic—and Knuckles wasn't sure he could provide that. 'I can't even help myself,' his mindwhispered.

He swallowed a breath, and tried anyway. "Tails… Sonic didn't decide before we left. It wasn't like he planned it all out, and kept it from you." Knuckles wracked his brain, trying to remember the details of those early moments when he and Sonic had discussed going into the city—why, and what they'd argued about before it all went sideways. "It was…we were fighting. He was… trying to help me."

Tails raised an unconvinced eyebrow at that, but didn't say anything else. Knuckles blew out a frustratedsigh. He wasn't explaining it right. Without recounting Every, Intricate, Detail, of what had been his interactions with Sonic over the past four or five days, that defense sounded weak, but he could hardly put it into words himself—their hurricane had been stewing for months. And Sonic had been trying to help. Had helped by taking him there. Even if… even if they had both suffered for it in the end.

He decided to let it go. He didn't have the words to explain or fix that. Perhaps he could at least ease the other hurt. "Tails, do… do you know he's injured? If he didn't go see you last night, he probably couldn't."

Tails looked uncertain, but he nodded. "Charmy said he hurt his shoulder. I was going to ask Mighty more about it, but I fell asleep before he came out for watch. And well, this morning when I woke, and realized Sonic hadn't come… Is… is he not okay?"

"He will be." Knuckles assured "He's resting now." He had to force the words out. There was so much more he needed to say. Tails deserved to know, to understand every detail of how severe it was, and how close Knuckles had come to losing Sonic. That was his brother. Tails' whole world. But how could he? How could Knuckles say anything more, when there were so many desperate emotions playing out in the eyes of the fox across from him? When Tails was looking at Knuckles like he was the only lifeline to his brother. Knuckles was unprepared for it. It made his throat feel tight with sorrow and fear—and shame because he was the cause of all of it.

"He'll be okay, Tails,"Knuckles whispered again.

Tails stared back at him, eyes glittering with unshed tears. He nodded once, and said, "okay."

It was the unyielding trust that stared at him through those eyes that cracked Knuckles. He reached out and pulled Tails into a tight hug.

"I'm—" sorry, he wanted to say. But Tails didn't want to hear that. "I… know Sonic didn't mean to hurt you. We… made some mistakes. With each other, and… with everyone probably."

Tails gave a slight nod, acknowledging the words at least. After a bit he wriggled himself back out of the embrace. He took a deep breath, obviously forcing away some nerves, and then asked, "Can I… go see him?"

"See Sonic?" Knuckles asked,

"Yes. If it's not… I mean… It's just I…" Tails slipped into a whisper. "When I saw them bring you in last night, and I didn't know how bad you… I could barely… it was so awful not knowing what happened to you. And I didn't even realize then that Sonic was seriously injured too. I yelled at him to get inside!" Tails hung his head shamefully for a moment. "I just need to see him."

"Tails, you don't need MY permission. Of course you can go. Just… He really needs the rest, so if he doesn't wake when you go in, let him sleep, yeah?"

"I understand." Tails lingered a moment then asked, "how did he get hurt?"

"Ngg…" Knuckles winced. "Badnik blaster."

"No way. How? How'd they land a hit? What happened?"

"It wasn't just that… We made mistakes. A bot snuck up on us. We were distracted. It got Sonic with a blast right to the shoulder."

"Electric or…"

"Laser fire burn."

Tails paled a little at that.

"It would have been fine," He continued quickly," but… It was what happened after that…" Knuckles exhaled a breath that was shakier than he would have liked. "I'm sorry. I'll… I can explain it. I can try. I just—"

"—Oh… no, Knuckles. It's ok." Tails' expression had shifted to something apologetic. "I'm the one who should be sorry. You asked for my help, and here I've just been questioning you in the midst of struggling with all this. I am sorry. What was it that you wanted to ask me about? You mentioned needing help to understand something that happened? I didn't mean to ignore that Knuckles."

"You didn't ignore it. I asked what was wrong with you too. And you deserve to have all of those questions answered. Go see Sonic. Put your mind at ease. We can talk after."

"I… are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm not going anywhere. And… I need to sort out some thoughts I think—before we discuss."

"Alright. Then, when I come back, we can talk about all the things you asked for help with."

"Sure. That sounds good."

When Tails still hesitated, Knuckles urged him on. "Go. Be with him."

The fox finally stood then, nodding gratefully. He leaned in and gave Knuckles a light hug, whispering, "thank you," and then disappeared into the living room, and away with the subtle stutter of a closing door.

It was only after Tails had left, that Knuckles began to notice how quiet it was. There were no voices drifting about; no ambient sounds inside the cottage at all. He guessed the others might have congregated at the shrine—certainly could have confirmed that suspicion by sensing for them, but... he didn't. He didn't want to. Instead he leaned forward, firmly planted his left foot, stood, and attempted to put pressure on his bandaged ankle—knowing full well how he'd suffer for it.

The sharp white pain that gripped him stole his breath, made his eyes water, and let free a small trail of tears he'd thus far managed to hold back throughout the morning. The pain ebbed slowly. He collapsed back into the chair heavily, frustration abound, and instead awkwardly maneuvered both feet up—one knee to his chest, and his injured foot resting on the seat—with arms wrapped around himself, and head tucked away between them.

He attempted to exhale the remaining pain away, and tried to keep his thoughts clear. Surely he should use these idle moments to plan, or work out some piece of the mysteries that plagued him. That would be wise. A wayward feeling ensnared him instead.

He suddenly felt very much alone and forgotten.

It was ridiculous. Nothing could have been further from the truth, surrounded as he was with nearly everyone he cared about, but he desperately—in that moment—did not want to be alone with his thoughts. He hugged himself a little tighter, and tried to think of nothing instead.

For several minutes he stayed that way, feeling lonely, and heavy, and stuck.

"Knuckles?"

His awareness had drifted in those minutes, to a far away space that lingered nearsleep. When that voice pierced his awareness, Knuckles startled so violently that the figure opposite him nearly received a pair of spikes to the face.

It was only thanks to Mighty's comparable strength, he was able to catch and stop the wild swing a mere breath from his nose.

"Woah! Hey. Hey. It's just me. Just Mighty."

Knuckles yanked his fist back in wide eyed shock, and gulped a couple of ragged breaths as the moment's adrenalin pivoted sharply. He met eyes with Mighty, and after a few seconds passed, realized he was staring back, face still a stream of tears, and rushed to wipe them away.

Mighty caught his wrist, gently this time, mid action. "Knuckles." He tugged ever so slightly at his wrist, and said, "don't. It's ok." Then he leaned in and pulled Knuckles into a firm hug.

Knuckles tensed, overcome with something that wasn't quite relief, railing against something that wasn't exactly discomfort either. The emotions swung wildly at first, but once he remembered to actually breathe, the knot in his chest loosened slightly.

"Is this ok?" Mighty asked softly.

Which was a funny question, Knuckles thought, here, a minute in already. Funny, but was it ok? 'Nothing is ok'—his brain supplied.'Everything is not ok.'

"Knuckles?"

Knuckles nodded a sliver of a nod, then forced himself to pull back to meet Mighty eye to eye.

Mighty smiled at him softly. "Hey."

"Hi…" he whispered back, then stalled, because he had no idea what else to say. This wasn't a casual conversation moment. But explaining all of the... everything seemed insurmountable just then. And to discourage him further, there were things between them left... complicated. He didn't know how to start with that—though Mighty for his part seemed to be, maybe, looking past it at least.

"Knuckles… Hey."

Lost in thought,he'd been staring through Mighty. He made an efforttofocus back.

"Knux, you're doing that thing where you try to do all the thinking and talking, in your head for both of us. Don't. You don't have to do that. Let's start small. Is there something I can help you with, or get for you right now?

Knuckles shook his head no.

Mighty eye'd the table then said, "okay, well... how about some more water at least?"

"Um yeah…" He forced himself to speak, and agreed, "okay," because he desperately wanted Mighty to stay—he needed to say yes to something.

Mighty nodded. He crossed over to the stone basin, made himself busy with the retrieving, and returned quickly enough, with a cup and a bowl of fruit off the counter. He handed Knuckles the cup, but had to shift several wires and notes atop the table to place the bowl next to the tray of sweets. Then he grabbed the next chair, pulled closer to Knuckles' and took a seat.

"No pressure conversation ok? You don't wanna talk about it? We won't. Deal?"

Knuckles stared back, somewhat apprehensive, but agreed. "Ok."

"So… Amy said there is a book you need to retrieve. Down from the library I'm guessing? She said it seemed quite urgent to you. Is that something I can help with? I'll go with you... you know, help you get down there, if you're ok with that."

Knuckles' brow furrowed, caught somewhat by surprise—he'd been expecting some other type of question. He nodded back. "Yes… I need to go soon. Today at least, and help would be… I do need help."

"Alright. It's settled. Any chance you already spoke to Tails about taking the Tornado?"

Knuckles blinked twice at that. "You… want to take the Tornado to Marble Gardens? That's less than half the island."

"Well yeah, but, Amy suggested that might be the best route considering. Figured you guys had talked about that. I mean, would you rather hobble that whole trek?"

Knuckles opened his mouth to answer, but Mighty cut him off in a rush.

"Nope! Wait. Don't answer that. I can see all those rebellious comebacks firing in your brain."

Mighty smirked at him knowingly, and Knuckles couldn't quite keep back a little smile, but turned away with it, casting a glance to the ceiling with a sigh.

"Ok, yes," he admitted softly. "You're probably right." He turned back to Mighty to add, "Tails is in with Sonic right now. Just sitting with him I think."

"Ah, I see. We should probably leave them be for a while then. Guess we're stuck with some time to spare, unless you're really set on walking?"

"No. At my speed, it wouldn't make enough of a difference I suppose."

"Probably not. How is your ankle? Espio said it's definitely broken, yeah?"

Knuckles nodded, and whispered, "it is."

"Can you heal it with the Master Emerald?"

Once again caught off guard, Knuckles hesitated on that question. He'd not yet wandered into considering it, but the answer wasn't something he needed to decide, rather something he'd already chosen for himself long ago.

He didn't share that thought. Everyone was well enough aware, that the Master Emerald accelerated his healing through his guardian link. That was adequate explanation enough. Instead he offered something parallel to avoid discussing it further.

"Ngn-ngn. I am going to heal Sonic the rest of the way though. When he's up, and I've had a bit more time to recover. Maybe tonight? Or tomorrow morning?"

"That's… probably warranted considering, but are you up for that? I remember it takes a lot out of you to perform."

"I can do it."

Mighty raised a questioning brow at him, but Knuckles held his ground.

"It just requires a certain amount of concentration. I want to do it now but… I'm not sure If I could trust myself to get it right. Not yet."

"He was hurting pretty bad last night."

"Yeah…"

Knuckles recognized the moment as probably an invitation to speak further about what had happened to him and Sonic, but he shied away from it, and chose to say no more.

Instead he fumbled with the bandage around his palm. An end had come loose, and made the whole thing begin to slacken. He didn't like how it felt—the tension was all wrong, especially now as it unraveled. He caught a few loose strands with the opposite hand's spike, and tugged at it absently, as he noticed how oddly exposed the points felt without the cover of his gloves.

Mighty, as promised, made no attempt to push him to speak further, and as a result, the conversation quieted away for a spell.

In the minutes in between, Knuckles noticed more through feeling than what he could see out the window, that the rain was on the horizon, and wondered if the others would come pouring in soon.

"Knuckles?" Mighty eventually said softly. And to Knuckles' surprise, when he looked up, the armadillo wore a look of uncertainty—an uncommon thing as far as Knuckles could recall, though he had an inkling of what subject was coming.

"I was hoping for a chance to talk to you when we arrived yesterday. And, I'm not sure if this is the right time, or if there will be any right time anymore, so… I'm just going to get to it. We… didn't part on good terms, but... that's in the past. And I'm not in any way trying to erase what happened—if you still have feelings about it, or something else we... can make a time for that. I just… I don't want you to have any doubt. We're here. We're with you one hundred percent. I… I hope you can accept that."

It wasn't until several moments after Mighty had finished that Knuckles realized he was mildly panicking alone in his thoughts. A silent pop drew his eyes down to his bandaged hand, where several strands hung severed where he'd been tugging, and a tinge of old brown and a dab of red was visible near his palm. He stared at it blankly, lost in the moment until a pair of hands took each of his by the wrist, and pressed the heels of his palms together, in a firm and grounding way that almost cocooned his own much larger hands. He looked up.

Mighty must have read his distress. The armadillos face wrinkled apologetically. "I'm sorry. It's too much. It was too much… I know you're dealing with so many things right now."

Any following thoughts Knuckles might have had were derailed, as Mighty pulled him close once more with an arm over the shoulder.

"You don't have to have an answer, or say anything right now," Mighty whispered. "I don't want to make any of this harder for you. In fact, I hope to at least make this piece lighter."

Knuckles squeezed his eyes shut to hold back the mountain of things that threatened to break loose, and alongside was reminded that Mighty truly was a beacon of goodwill. And it filled him with regret for how much he'd unwittingly missed that since they had parted ways.

He forced a breath past the lump in his throat. There were so many things, and Knuckles desperately wanted to let this go—wanted this kindness Mighty was offering. He tried to let it fall away. To exhale the feelings, and accept, but it felt too freely given. He'd done nothing to earn this kindness. He couldn't possibly deserve it. He had to ask.

He shifted slightly, and Mighty understood the queue to let go. He generously allowed Knuckles time to regroup. When Knuckles felt he could maybe get the words out, he sat up properly and forced himself to look the armadillo in the eyes.

"How ca… You… you can forgive all that... so easily?"

Mighty's eyes flickered with surprise. "To have my friend back? Yes," he replied, as though it was the simplest thing. He reached down to lift Knuckles' injured hand, and busied himself then by unraveling the severed strands and then re-securing the bandage properly. "And to stand with you through this? Regardless Knuckles. There's no question."

Knuckles released a breath, he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He hung his head, and allowed a sweeping sense of gratitude wash over him. He tried to accept it for everything it was, but while he held no doubt in Mighty's sincerity, a question remained.

"I'm… not so sure Vector shares your sentiment."

"Ehh," Mighty sighed, exasperation creeping through. "Vector. Look, he… took the whole thing pretty hard. And I know you know… he can be brash and snarky. Don't let him fool you though. I'm telling you, no hesitation, he rounded up Charmy and Espio, and told them to pack for the island before I was even off the comm with Sonic. He wants to be here. He's just... temperamental. Kind of like… someone else I know."

Knuckles huffed at the amused suggestive look Mighty shot him, and couldn't hold back the pained grimace that followed it.

He whispered, "Mighty… thank you. I'm sorry I can't… can't… that I haven't—"

"—I'm not. I'm not looking for apologies, Knux. I want you to be ok. I want to help get you there."

Knuckles, couldn't think of anything to argue against that, and was exceedingly relieved of that fact.

"I am so grateful you all came Mighty. It's… more than I… than…"

"It's what you need."

Knuckles nodded, and whispered, "yeah."

Mighty reached out and took his hand from where it was wrapped around his knees, and squeezed.

"Let's leave it at that for now. Yeah? I mean, fair game still, if at any point you need to talk about it 'kay? Just tell me. But, I think—well, I'm sure there are things more pressing on your mind. So, how can I be of service?"

"I, um… I don't know."

"Ah, that's right. You never have been any good at asking for help have you? Tried to find your own way out of that first Eggman trap, while we were literally all chained together."

They shared a smirk at the memory.

"You were a whole team. I was chained to you. Can you fault me for assuming I was the only actual captive?"

"I know, I know, fair point. How about breakfast? You eaten anything yet?"

"A little. Yes."

"Alright. Well… Do we need to take anything? Or is there anything you need before we go? Anything for the pain," he asked, gesturing towards Knuckles' ankle.

"No, I'm fine. I just need to get the book."

"Really?"

"I'm barely keeping it together enough to… to just keep it together. I need that book, and I don't know what else. I don't even… I'm not sure if I'm remembering things right. Metal Sonic… broke us out of the self-destruct lockdown. Does that even sound right? That sounds insane right?"

Knuckles glanced up at Mighty who offered a shrug. "I don't know about any break out, but yeah, there's a severed Metal Sonic head in the living room."

"Right. Yeah… I mean I know that, that happened, I think… because… the other parts don't make sense if that wasn't true. Chaos, I'd actually almost rather I was going crazy, if it meant... some of it weren't true." Knuckles sighed heavily and then rounded back. "How much did Sonic tell you?"

"Not much. I just asked for the bullet points. And look, let's not get into all that right now either. You should focus on resting while you can."

Knuckles tipped his head sideways. Something about that suggestion didn't sit well with him. His brow crinkled with a frown directed at Mighty.

"Why… Why do you all keep saying that? Do you know what happened at all?You're all acting like it's nothing... It's… I need to—"

"—Hey, hey… Hold up." Mighty interrupted. "Someone else said that?"

"Amy did, and the others more or less. Or… at least they didn't ask for answers."

"Right. Ok. I did not mean to come off as dismissive. And I'm sure the others didn't mean that either. It's just… after what happened with Sonic last night…" Mighty paused, seemingly searching for the right words. "Well… I kind of thought you'd both want to explain it together."

"What… happened with Sonic?"

Mighty sighed through a frown before continuing. "Nobody mentioned it, huh? Okay. When you both returned, Sonic was struggling. In pain, clearly feeling some heavy guilt, and hardly speaking, if that tells you anything. I was with him for maybe the first hour. We checked injuries, got him a new bandage, and recounted some basics of what happened.

After that I took over watch at the shrine, but Sonic ended up sharing a bit more of what happened with the others. Only… tensions were running high all around, even before you two returned, and things got heated…" Mighty sighed again, wearing a look of great frustration. "By Espio's account, Sonic sort of froze up when pushed to explain some of the details, and then just stormed off."

"Off to where?"

"Well, not off. He stayed with you. The whole time I was with him, he was adamant about being with you when you woke up. Anyway, what I was getting at is that… I think everyone just feels a little cautious of making that mistake again—that if Sonic was so unsettled by something that happened, you'd be struggling too."

Knuckles' eyes softened with a pang of heartache for Sonic, as he also remembered very clearly, their conversation in the woods—how raw it had been for them both.

And again, he was reminded that everything was awful.

He sighed a strangled breath, and let his head fall between his arms again. The deep sense of dread that had been swirling within him since he'd sat watch over Sonic in the dead of night, felt like a pit, ever shifting—with each step it tried to swallow him whole.

He pondered briefly whether he could just go ahead and immediately heal Sonic the rest of the way—to at least be free of that worry, but just as quickly dismissed the idea. Funneling that energy for healing took great focus. That same energy, unfocused, without proper intent could also be extremely damaging, and the way his emotions were swinging so wildly, they way he was barely in control, he'd surely do Sonic harm.

"Hey. I see those gears turning Knux. Do you want to talk about it?"

Knuckles peeked out one eye at Mighty. "No… Yes? No. I don't know Mighty." No. No, I need to... to get out of this chair and DO something. I need to… Gods, I wasn't supposed to… I need to find answers, not to sit here FEELING like... falling apart. I can't do this. I can't—

"—Be hurt?" Mighty supplied. "Can't have feelings? Come on Knuckles, give yourself a break. You don't—"

"—NO. I can't…" Knuckles peeked out all the way, to interrupt, and felt the chair rock beneath him, because he was trembling with such frustration. "I can't keep making space for all these hopeless feelings."

"Knux…"

Mighty stood and pulled his chair around, to square up with Knuckles', then slid in close till their shoulders squished together, and wrapped an arm firm around him."Knux. This is okay. You'll be okay. Whatever you are feeling—whatever you're experiencing… it's all overwhelming now, but you're not doing anything wrong."

When Knuckles didn't look up again, or react, Mighty continued.

"Look, this is the last thing I'm gonna say, then we'll get out of here, 'kay?

You've probably not been able to do this so often living mostly alone, but when this is all over, you need to talkabout everything that's happened with someone. Right now I'm sure it feels like you're stuck feeling every awful thing, but feeling those feelings doesn't keep you stuck. It helps you get to a point where you can move on.

Maybe you're not ready for all of that today. That's ok. You don't have to unpack it all at once.

I know control is... something you value and rely on… as Guardian. It's order. It gives order to your duty, to your life, but feelings don't always work like that. The more you try to lock them up, the more they'll lash out chaotically. The more you will.

It's ok to get a little lost in it, to feel sad, even hopeless, or… whatever feeling it is that you're running from, from before. Especially now when you've got help, try to let go a little—of the control. You might find it helps. And, I mean look at this; we've already had a whirlwind of a conversation, and we're still going to get up, and get that book. And we are going to get you through this.

Alright? I'm not trying to pressure you. I know this is harder for you—more foreign. It's not easy to try a different way, especially when you are already feeling weighed down. I just want you to know, you are not wrong either way. And either way, if it gets to feeling like it's all too much, we're here for you—to talk it out, or not."

Mighty squeezed him a little tighter, then leaned in till their heads bumped, and nudged him several times with a gentle nuzzle. When he exaggerated it to the point of a silly pushy wiggle, Knuckles, through a shaky exhale, finally looked up to face the armadillo.

Mighty smiled at him encouragingly, and Knuckles tried to return the gesture, but he couldn't force it through the anguish.

"I... don't know if I... if I know how to do that, Mighty."

"You're already doing it Knux. Just keep letting us help. 'Kay? Now... come on. Let's get outta here. We can check what the others are getting up to out at the shrine. It looked like it would start pouring rain before long when I left."

Knuckles watched as Mighty stood, and extended an arm out to him. He hesitated to accept. His eyes still stung with unspilled tears, and his chest burdened heavy with emotion. He was afraid to walk out with these raw feelings unbridled, but to reign it all in... he really would be stuck if he required that of himself first.

Knuckles reached out, and finally took hold of Mighty's hands, and after adjusting to plant his feet carefully, let himself be pulled up.

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TBC

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Dampened : to check or diminish the activity or vigor of : DEADEN

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Authors Note:

Back with an update! I have been getting so many word down to the page lately. Listen, when I envisioned chapter this 10, it encompassed this plus two more giant acts, but this first act go SO long. 14k long, and cutting it here became the only sensible option. SO that also means the next two chapters are very much in progress. They have some bigger jumps that really get the story moving again. (I know these last few have been very doom and gloom, but these darker moments need their space too.) Anyway, I am going to try my hardest to get another chapter out in the next few months, but I do have another cross country move coming up this summer so we'll see. Y'all can always hit me up on Tumblr knuckleslove for updates.
I almost forgot to share... At one point while writing this chapter I got so frustrated trying to describe what was going on in the kitchen, that I had to stop and just sketch out what it looked like. It's more or less the simple layout I've a alway imagined it as, but the visual reference was very helpful here. Check it out if you like at my DeviantART. ( sarilleny/art/Knuckles-s-island-cottage-kitchen-914763599)

Thanks Awdures for doing a beta read on this chapter for me.
And to Awdures & Speedy 1236 both for being a constant inspiration to me on this particular writing journey.
Thank you for reading! Reviews are sunshine. ~Sarilleny