A/N: Hi everyone! Just wanted to say that my primary posting platform is on archive of our own. You are, of course, welcome to keep reading the story on here, but the version on Ao3 consistently includes author notes and content warnings for relevant chapters. From the next chapter on, things will likely pick up intensity, so if you'd like to know about content warnings ahead of time, I sincerely invite you to read this story on Ao3, as FFnet doesn't easily allow me to add them. Thanks for reading!

It was strange, being back in the Fire Nation. Of course Suyin had missed it, and she'd only been gone for a couple of months, but for all of that, she'd almost forgotten what it was like to be back here again. Caldera City, built in the architectural style she'd known all her life, now felt almost foreign in comparison to the style she'd come to know in the Earth Kingdom.

When their ship docked, Azula had been welcomed back with fanfare, a true hero, and whirred off immediately for an audience with the Fire Lord. The rest of her group - soldiers and servants and friends alike - were left to descend the ship at a more leisurely pace. Prince Zuko, still uncertain of whether he was welcome home, remained on the ship for the time being, and Mai opted to remain with him and keep him company until they received word of his status, one way or another.

Suyin didn't have the luxury of staying back with Mai and the prince, but neither would she have wanted to – she was well and truly sick of ships and was eager to return to dry land once again. Besides, she was in charge of the princess' belongings. That meant overseeing the manservants carry them off of the ship and into her bedchamber, and then unpacking them.

"Be careful with that," Suyin snapped when the men lowered one of the princess' chests with too heavy a hand - it fell on top of another with a thunk. They'd better hope the wood on either didn't get scratched.

"My apologies." One of the men mumbled half-heartedly.

Suyin rolled her eyes and waved him off. She knelt down to inspect the surface of the wooden chest as the men again ascended the ship to bring out the next piece of luggage. She only had a canvas bag of her own belongings, souvenirs included, and she could carry that on her own, but the princess had much more and the servants needed to go on the ship a few times to bring out everything. It was then that she felt a tap on her shoulder - the unexpected gesture made her jerk her head around, but she relaxed when she saw a friendly face towering behind her.

"Lian! You surprised me!" Suyin exclaimed and got up to her feet.

He laughed. "I saw you from afar – I was thinking of calling your name, but decided against it."

It was good he had - Suyin would've been mortified had he called out to her across the courtyard where everyone could hear. Although the princess had long since left the docks for that audience with the Fire Lord, the area was still bustling with life and work. Nearly everyone else from their party remained.

Lian closed the distance between them, and pulled her into an embrace. "Oh, Suyin, I'm so glad you're back. I missed you."

"Me, too." Suyin admitted.

Though she was glad of the embrace, for she had genuinely missed him and it was wonderful to be reunited, she wished very much that he hadn't done so here, in front of so many people. It was inappropriate, and she couldn't help but imagine every pair of eyes on them right this moment. She allowed it for a moment, then attempted to squirm away, but Lian didn't release his hold for another good few seconds.

"You didn't write to me," he accused as soon as they were apart, "I was worried sick, thinking that something might have happened to you out there."

"I didn't write to anyone," Suyin rebuffed, "We scarcely had time for that. There was always something happening, and we spent most of the time travelling, anyway–"

"Still, you could have found time every few weeks. Nevermind - I don't want to argue. I'm just glad you're back, safe and whole."

It felt less like an argument to Suyin and more as though he wanted to have the last word scolding her, but she dropped it. Maybe he had a point - she could have written when she'd been in Bhizu for a few days, after that incident with the Kyoshi Warriors. Or have pre-written a letter and had it sent out in whatever town they next travelled through. She wouldn't have written about any details of their adventure, in fear of having the letter intercepted by the enemy, but she supposed she could have given some sort of sign of life. To Lian and her family both - she wondered whether they were as worried as he. They'd probably written her a letter in response to the last one she'd sent, addressed, of course, to the palace, and Suyin was itching to finish up her work to receive it. The manservants set down the next chest more carefully, and left to bring back the last one. Almost done.

"How have things been here?" Suyin asked.

Lian shrugged, "Same old. Nothing's happened much. Everyone's buzzing with excitement about the princess' return, waiting for rumours to be confirmed. It's been boorish besides that, without you."

Suyin smiled at him, "I see." It didn't escape her that he didn't ask about these rumours. He was, after all, privy to inside information as part of the war council, and he probably knew well enough about the verity behind said rumours. That, or he figured he'd find out soon enough.

"How about you? I mean– I know about the big details, of course, but did you do anything particularly interesting?"

"Not really." Suyin lied.

She figured Lian would throw a fit if he knew about her incident with the Kyoshi Warriors, about being used as a hostage, that sharp ceramic at her throat. He already thought her incapable of taking care of herself; she didn't want to give him any reason to further confirm those beliefs.

"But it was all so exciting! The Earth Kingdom was completely different from how I imagined it, you know?"

He laughed, "More barbaric?"

"No, no– quite the opposite. Sure, some things were more primitive than here, but it wasn't bad. And the people were all really quite clever, especially those speaking two languages, and they're capable of making such beautiful art. They weren't worse than us, just– different."

Really, nothing at all like the stories she'd heard all her life. Like the stories she'd heard from Lian himself. It was true that they didn't have steam engines or clockwork, but their communities were still nice. Their children were sweet and eager to learn. Their clothes, though completely different in style, were beautiful and vibrant and well-made. And Suki - oh, she was definitely far cleverer than Suyin had been.

"You're too kind, Suyin. You're giving them more credit than they deserve," Lian laughed. "But I'm glad you didn't come across anyone frightening. Some of those people are animals; they would've torn you limb from limb, had they the chance."

She just smiled at his dismissiveness. Maybe he was right – maybe they'd simply been lucky with their encounters. They had, after all, only travelled through Fire Nation colonies - save for Ba Sing Se, of course. Those towns and villages were surely more civilised than they had been before the Fire Nation took them under its wing, but their culture remained, to a greater or lesser degree. Even so, Lian's words didn't sit well with her. She'd taken them as gospel only a few short months ago, absorbing every detail that he, experienced, had shared with her. But now that she'd seen the Earth Kingdom for herself, she couldn't help but question the untruths and exaggerations that came from his lips.

The servants carried out the last of the princess' belongings from the ship. This was only the start of the job, of course, and she motioned for them to start bringing it into the princess' room. The walk from the docks to the palace wasn't a short one, and it would take a little while to carry everything there. Suyin was just glad she didn't have to do the physical work.

"I need to get going." Suyin said as she turned to her companion, "There's a lot to do."

"I'll walk back with you." Lian said without pause.

She nodded, "Sure. Thanks."

He took the canvas bag from her hands and slung it over his shoulder – a gesture that was surely meant to be chivalrous, but Suyin wished he'd asked, rather than act on his own accord and tear it from her grasp. They began the walk to the palace, talking of this and that, followed by the servants carrying the first of the princess' chests.

They parted ways after a quarter of an hour, once they reached the princess' room. Lian again embraced her, and asked that she come find him once she was finished with her work. Suyin had left her keys with Linhua before their departure, and so the men left the crate in front of the princess' room while Suyin left to find her friend and pick up her keyring. She grabbed the bottle of baijiu from her bag that she'd bought as a souvenir for the maids and made her way down to the servant's quarters.

"It's Suyin!"

"You're back!"

She was welcomed back with cheerful recognition and eager requests to hear all about her journey. A warm embrace from Chiyo made her heart pick up. There were some new faces amongst the midst, but mostly, Suyin recognised everyone and was glad to see them all again, and she greeted them all with much enthusiasm.

"Is Linhua here? I need my keys." Suyin said once they'd settled down a bit.

"I'll go fetch her," offered one of the maids, and left to let her know.

Suyin didn't mind waiting, not when she could speak with her friends and acquaintances. It was nice to be back and amongst people with whom she could speak freely. She handed the bottle of baijiu to Chiyo, her chosen representative on account of their friendship.

"I'm afraid it's not much," Suyin said, "but this is a traditional alcohol from the Earth Kingdom. I hope you can all enjoy and share it. It's very strong, so drink it in small serving sizes."

There were thank you's all around and the girls decided to have some later this evening, and, of course, invited Suyin to join them. When Linhua came in, just a few moments later, she greeted Suyin with another warm hug.

"Here, your keys," she said when they pulled away, "and I brought you your letters as well."

She handed Suyin a somewhat thick stack of letters, tied together with twine, as well as her keyring. She undid the knot and flipped through them - they were all from her family, save for one from Mingyu, with whom she sometimes stayed in touch. The fact that her family had written to her even knowing that she would be unable to reply until she returned was sweet, and Suyin looked forward to reading through the months' worth of letters that she had missed out on.

"Thank you," she told her friend.

"Sure. It's good to have you back."

"I still have a ton of work to do," Suyin said, "I'll come back later to talk more, all right? Today or tomorrow."

Though she was reluctant to leave this nice atmosphere, she had plenty to do, and she knew the maids were busy as well. The keyring's familiar weight on her waist felt, in a way, right, as though things were back to the way they were supposed to be. She returned to the princess' room just in time to catch the servants bringing in the second chest, so she had them wait a moment until she unlocked the door to bring them inside.

The room was as clean and tidy as ever, with no sign at all that it had been unoccupied for the past four months. Suyin could guess easily enough that the maids cleaned it every few days anyway, to keep the dust under control. It didn't take as much time as Suyin had expected to unpack Azula's belongings. She sent all of the clothes to be washed properly by the palace staff (though they'd been laundered on their journey, the quality of clothes care on a ship was significantly below that of the palace's professional washing room). Apart from that, all that Suyin had left was putting away the non-clothing items: hairbrush, make-up, books, ink. For all the months she'd been away, she found, with relief, that she still remembered where everything went.

Azula was still away. She wondered whether she ought to go wait for her in front of the throne room, where she must still be with her father, but she really didn't know. The audience could last another five minutes, or another good few hours, and Suyin didn't particularly want to stand there for who-knows how long. Not to mention, the stack of letters she had waiting in her own bedroom was burning in the back of her mind. And so, having found a moment of time to herself, she sat down cross-legged on her bed and, deciding to read them chronologically, opened the first letter.

It was sweet, full of encouragement and well-meaning worries. Her mother urged her to be careful on her journey in the Earth Kingdom. Her youngest sister, Jiyun, listed scary story after scary story about the barbaric things the people of the Earth Kingdom did. That they danced naked in the night. That they roasted and ate little girls at festivities, that they had an extra pair of sharp teeth to facilitate tearing flesh away from bone. Suyin bit back a smile and rolled her eyes, amused. She'd heard all of these stories before - in fact, she was quite sure she'd been the one to tell Jiyun them in the first place, years and years ago - but her sister's sincerity and staunch belief in their truth was cute. Although it was obvious to Suyin now that these were just tall-tales, didn't she, too, believe in them just a few short months ago?

She read on. The contents of the second letter were very, very different. Rather than well-wishes, it contained within it unease. Bad news. Her older brother, Taio, had been discharged from the army some weeks ago, on account of his failing health. It was not easy to get discharged, Suyin knew. They were always eager for recruits and could overlook most any physical ailment. The very fact that he'd been released from the military could not bode well.

Her mother wrote that Taio was back home now. That he was weak and tired easily, and that he'd lost weight since they last saw him. But she was sure that, with adequate rest and plenty of good food, he'd surely recover and be back on his feet in no time.

But the third and fourth letter still did not bring good news. Her brother's condition had deteriorated enough in this short time that he required constant care. Her mother quit her job. They were getting by on what savings they had, on what money Suyin had sent back to them before, but it would not last them forever, Suyin knew. Within the span of a few months, they'd lost two sources of income - her brother's and her mother's.

She checked the date of that letter. It was sent just three weeks ago. That wasn't so long ago, Suyin tried to assure herself. Surely they were still all right, savings-wise. There was one more letter, and Suyin read on with a pounding heart and shaky hands, afraid of what worse news the next might possibly bring. Afraid that she might read them and find out about her brother's death. Right now, the letter, unopened, could contain anything within it – good and bad news alike. A part of her didn't want to open it at all, but she was too terrified not to.

But it didn't bring any worse news, thank Agni. Taio wasn't any better, it seemed, but neither was he worse off, and Suyin wanted to cry in relief. She didn't think she could stomach it, finding out her brother passed away while she was half a world away, unreachable by letters.

She re-read those terrible letters again and again until the words blurred with unshed tears, but even so, they were burned into her mind and she could recite them by heart. The helplessness felt suffocating. What could she possibly do? Taio had been seen by a doctor, yes, but it didn't seem like this was something that could be cured. Not easily, at least. She wanted, so badly, to see him. But she doubted she could get any time off to make the journey, and besides – her presence wouldn't accomplish much, anyway. The only thing she could do, Suyin knew, was send them money.

"There you are–" Azula's voice tore her out of her thoughts.

She was standing in the doorway between their two rooms, evidently having come back from her audience. The letters left Suyin rather undone, and Azula's sudden appearance took her entirely by surprise. She wiped her eyes furiously on her sleeves and got up to her feet and hoped, dearly, that her eyes weren't too puffy.

"Good lord, Su, what's got you so undone?"

"Oh, I'm, um, I'm all right." Suyin stammered, her voice thankfully more even than she'd expected. Still, it was clear enough that something was the matter, and she had no doubt Azula saw through her feeble lie. The only question was whether she'd let it go or not. "Did you need me, princess?"

Azula kept her gaze on her for a lingering moment, as if debating the very same question Suyin had. "Yes," she said finally, "I will be presented to the nation regarding our accomplishments in an hour's time. Zuko as well. Father has gifted me with ceremonial armour to wear for the occasion."

"That's wonderful." Suyin said, and even managed a smile.

Azula nodded, "It's a great honour."

A reward, she supposed, for a job well done. The fruit of her completed right of passage. Proof that she was no longer a growing girl, but a respectable princess that the Fire Nation could rely on. And Suyin understood well enough the implication behind the princess' words, that she was to help her dress and prepare for the occasion. She followed Azula back into her room.

There, on the bed, was an intricately carved agarwood box. It was open to reveal the armour inside it, the box lined with a dark red silk interior. There were only a few pieces to the armour: a chest and shoulder piece, as well as shin guards. Each piece was elaborately designed, colored primarily in black, with fine gold tracing and the Fire Nation insignia. Was it only ceremonial, Suyin wondered? It didn't look as though it would be of much protection in an actual fight, but then again, she'd witnessed Azula fight with less armour than this – that is, none at all.

"It's beautiful." Suyin admired it, fingers ghosting over the polished surface. She had no doubt that keeping it clean and polished would soon fall to her, but for now she simply soaked in the beauty of it.

"Isn't it?" Azula said, clearly pleased with Suyin's awe. Clearly pleased herself over having received such an honourable gift from the Fire Lord. "In any case, that goes on last. I must freshen up first."

Suyin nodded. Though Azula looked wonderful as always, she was a little more dishevelled now than she had been this morning, and so freshening up was a good idea. Suyin could only imagine how hot it was in the throne room, before the Fire Lord, and so she would never fault the princess for returning sweaty. She helped her wash quickly, and then dress into something that would go together with the armour.

It was while Suyin was brushing through her hair that Azula spoke, quite softly, "What happened to upset you so?"

Suyin chewed on her lip. She'd managed to, mostly, put those thoughts out of her head while she worked, and felt a lot calmer than before, but it was still upsetting. She worried she might come undone if she spoke about it. But Azula looked at her, through the mirror, with such sincerity that the words eased out of her throat.

"I received word that my brother fell sick," Suyin said calmly, evenly, without stopping the movement of the hairbrush.

"Oh, Su. How unfortunate. My condolences."

Although the words sounded foreign on her tongue, Azula sounded sincere enough. Almost– relieved, and Suyin couldn't help but wonder what it was she'd been expecting. In any case, whether it was simply politeness or true sympathy, she appreciated it nonetheless. Her reaction was encouraging. Maybe, in this case, she could try to ask for a favour…

"He was dismissed from the army, of course, and my mother quit her job to take care of him." Suyin continued, gingerly testing the waters with her request, "You know that I wouldn't ask otherwise, but in light of this… incident, princess, I would humbly ask you for an advance on my salary."

Azula raised a brow, "I don't handle salaries."

"I know. I will speak with Mr Yao, but I would need your explicit permission. He'll sort out the rest. If you agree, I mean."

Mr Yao was in charge of the palace staff's pay, and Suyin came to him every month for that very reason. She kept about a fourth of her salary for herself, and he helped her send the rest of it to her family by huipiao, a letter of remittance, every month. Of course, she had yet to collect her pay from him over the four months she'd been away from the palace, but she would see to that perhaps tomorrow, and send money home. Maybe this time she'd send it all home. After all, with food and housing provided here at the palace, she didn't need any spending money – it would be better used for Taio and her family.

She'd asked Mr Yao once, months and months ago, about taking an advance on her salary. He'd looked at her with kind, apologetic eyes, and said that handmaids were not allowed to do so on the basis of the instability of the position. That he would only allow it if the princess gave her blessing for such a thing. She hadn't bothered with that any further then, for she had no immediate need of the extra money, and she'd rather doubted Azula would even agree. Things were different now, though, and even if the princess refused, at least she'd have tried.

"Very well," Azula said, "You may have a one month advance. I'll write a note that you can take to him – I can't be bothered going myself."

Suyin nodded quickly, "That's fine. Thank you, thank you very much, princess."

"Is that sufficient? For your brother?"

"I don't know," Suyin admitted as she began to pin Azula's hair up into a topknot. "They have some savings. I hope it'll be enough. It's just until he gets better again, then they'll both go back to work. Just a little while."

The words were more a prayer than a statement. She wasn't sure how quickly her brother would get better. She wasn't sure he'd get better at all. From what her mother had written, it sounded eerily similar to the illness their father had died of, though Taio was significantly younger now than when Father had fallen ill. She hoped it wasn't that.

"Well. You may ask again next month, if you so require." Azula said.

Suyin smiled. That kindness, though hidden behind her usual royal demeanour, really meant a lot to her. Not to mention the trust ensued within it, that Azula wasn't planning to dismiss her anytime soon. "Thank you."

They fell into a more comfortable silence now than before. Suyin finished doing her hair and then moved on to makeup. She hadn't noticed it during the four months of their sea journey, but the princess had changed. Being back in the palace now, back in her own room, looking into her own vanity - Suyin noted the differences. The room remained the same, but the princess had returned slightly changed.

She'd grown, for one. Not much - she was still shorter than Suyin - but the pants whose hem had once reached her ankles now hovered above them. The sleeves of her shirt no longer reached her palm. Perhaps it was time to consider sending for a tailor to rework the princess' wardrobe. Or perhaps they ought to wait until she was finished growing. It wasn't short enough to look ill-fitting, after all. Suyin doubted anyone would even notice, not unless they were paying close attention to her clothes every day like she was. Maybe they could wait a few months more.

Azula's face had become more angular, too. The baby fat of a growing child was gradually disappearing from the cheeks, to show, instead, cheekbones and hollows. Now, when she was in makeup, she didn't look fifteen - sometimes, she looked older than Suyin. That unnerved her. Azula was powerful and responsible and growing into a woman, but at this moment, she was still a child. She wondered, sometimes, whether Azula herself remembered that.

With the makeup finished, it was time to move onto the armour. Suyin picked it up gingerly, not wanting to get her fingerprints on the freshly polished surface. The shin guards were first. She knelt down before Azula, still seated, and gently guided her leg to rest upon her lap in a more extended position. The clasp of the armour required a little fiddling with, until Suyin found an easier way to get it open. She put it on and secured it, quite tightly, around her calf. Azula flinched.

"I'm sorry– did I hurt you?" Suyin asked and looked up at her with wide, apologetic eyes.

"No," Azula said, "It's all right."

"Is it too tight?"

"Only a little. I'm not used to this. But armour needs to be secure. Continue as you were."

Suyin nodded, "Relax a little more, princess. You'll get used to it soon. I'll be more careful, too."

She put on the other shin guard, and this time, made sure to be gentler with the clasps. It still had to be fairly tight to stay on properly – there was little to be done about that – but this time, Azula didn't flinch.

The intricate chest and shoulder armour was next, and that required a little more figuring out. It was quite heavy, too, and Suyin set it back in the box while she loosened the straps and planned how she'd secure them once the princess was wearing it.

"Mind your head," she warned, just in case, though of course it was Suyin who would be careful.

She lifted the great thing over Azula and carefully set it on her shoulders. Pulled the straps together quickly to secure it, and then clasped the front and back together beneath her arms. It took some fidgeting with to make sure it was all in place and hugging her as comfortably as it could. This first time would be most difficult, Suyin knew, but she'd get better at dressing her in armour with practice.

"There. How's that?" She asked.

Azula stood to test the weight of it. She lifted her arms and nodded, satisfied, at the range it allowed her. "It should be fine."

It suited her. It really did. Now, having taken a step back, Suyin could admire her entire form rather than just the one piece of armour she'd been focused on. It couldn't be very comfortable, but it certainly gave Azula an even greater grandeur than usual. Ceremonial armour really was something else. She was always beautiful, and she was always fierce, but this get up brought it out of her in a way Suyin hadn't seen before. Still she held herself with such confidence, such impeccable posture, such regality. Surely there had never before been a princess so beloved by the nation, so much a personification of all it held dear.

"You're beautiful."

The words slipped from between Suyin's lips in a breath of a whisper. She didn't even realise what she'd said until she noticed that the princess turned her face away, cheeks slightly reddened. The realisation made Suyin blush – how could she have allowed such a thing to slip? She hadn't meant to make her uncomfortable, not at all. And though she'd complimented the princess on many occasions, the weight behind her words now was palpably different than before. She wondered whether Azula felt it, too.

"Well then. I must be on my way," Azula cleared her throat. "But here, I'll write you that note first. You may as well get started on it as soon as possible, there's no time to waste."

She sat down at her desk, where her ink and brush and correspondence pads were always neatly laid out. Ever elegant, she wrote character after character in calligraphy as neat and beautiful as she. Then, the princess' own royal stamp to mark it as official. It was just a quick note, and didn't take long at all to write. She handed the paper to Suyin as the ink was still drying.

"This should suffice," Azula said. "If he gives you any trouble, I will speak with him myself."

"Thank you, princess." Suyin bowed. She doubted it would come to that, but the princess' offer was touching. Her eyes scanned over the note– "Wait, three times over?"

Azula looked at her with a sort of amusement on her lips, "Yes. I haven't forgotten about your work for Mai and Ty Lee over these past few months. Have you?"

"No, but– this is incredibly generous–"

"I'd hardly call it generous. It's a fair reward for the increased workload you've had these past four months."

"But, princess–"

"Don't be difficult, Su. Do you want it or not? It makes no difference to me," Azula said, "but it may make a difference for your brother."

Suyin quieted. Azula was right - this amount of money probably meant nothing to her, but it was a great sum for Suyin and her family. She felt tears threaten to fill her eyes again, and she willed herself to stop.

"Thank you," she said, "thank you."

Azula waved her off, "Right. Well, dry your eyes, it's high time we leave. I don't want to be late."

Suyin flushed at the realisation that Azula noticed her tears. She was right, though, they had to leave now to make it in time for the ceremony. She gathered herself as best as she could, and left the slip of paper, ink still drying, on the princess' desk. She'd pick it up later – right now her duty was to Azula.