Page 2 – Contributors: Meeeeeehman1010; SeventhChild; cowsgomoo; thedaughterofHP; Ezylryb; Seshet; profmcgonagal; Professor2005; momOf3wizards; and SchmergoWeasley.
Dear diary,
I tried to resurrect my tactic of bumping into Minnie today, but bumped a bit too hard and fell down 24 flights of stairs, all one after the other.
I am currently in the hospital wing.
I added more lines to my poem:
Why do nice girls hate me?
Why do nice girls ignore my pain
Why do nice girls think I have balance impairments?
Why do nice girls think I'm weird,
And shall I ever grow a beard?
Why do nice girls ne'er smile at me?
When I walk by, they run up a tree
Why do nice girls never comb my silky locks?
Why is it so drafty under my cloak?
O why can't I be someone's bloak?
Why do nice girls date the wrong 'uns?
WHY the dads of nice girls with shotguns?
Why do nice girls sometimes put their hair in buns and
Why do I feel like I ain't got no chums?
Why do nice girls slap me?
And say things thay don't (well probably do) mean?
And why, when I declare my love for them,
Do they look shocked and then turn green?
Also, I met these really cool people called Joe and Bethan Potter.
They are a couple. Unlike me.
Anyway, I think I could become great friends with the Potters
Dear Diary,
I have been in the hospital wing for three days, and have had only one visitor. But I don't like professor Slughorn, so it was a bit boring.
Still, I managed to find out from him (using my charm and lustrous hair-flicking technique), that a certain young lady LIKES ME! Joy to the world - I feel better already!
Now, if only I knew who the lucky lass was...
Poem updated: Why do nice girls tell Slughorn who they like?
p.s I have decided to be an emo instead of a goth. Far too much hard work with the make-up. Besides, I'm allowed to cry all the time and no one bats an eyelid.
Riddle-kins X
Dear Diary,
I am still in the hospital wing but now I can actually move my leg! I worry about Rosy Fluffy Slyther though. She's been all alone these past several days and I hope she's alright. Maybe I could call her up to visit me tonight. I've been pretty lonely since Slughorn last visited. Sigh I also found out which girl likes me. She's this idiotic Hufflepuff who thinks that the giant squid is her best friend and randomly dances during study hall.
My life is horrible.
Tom
Dear diary,
Rosy Fluffy Slyther visited me in the hospital wing earlier. Unfortunately, so did my Hufflepuff lady friend, and she got killed by it's stare. Now no one likes me. :'(
I also got a 'T' on my latest assignment: 'Poems on potions', which goes to show that I truly am a discriminated poet.
Never mind. It is destiny for me to suffer for my art.
I always look at mother's picture when I need to get 'in the zone'. It always depresses me, and my poetry is better. She really was an ugly tramp.
Updated poem: 'Why do nice girls die so easily?'
Riddle-kins x
Dear Diary,
Finally I'm out of the hospital! But I found that my poetic ideas came easier when I lay in that smelly hospital wing. Either that or it was all the potions I had to take. I still get kinda dizzy...
I had thought that the death of the Hufflepuff girl would have caused a lot of chaos in school, but no one really seems to know that she's gone. Maybe it was because Rosy Fluffy Slyther got hungry and disposed of the body quite nicely. I thought it was disgusting.
Some seventh-year Ravenclaw boys ripped up the poem I was writing in Transfigureation about Minnie. They started laughing at me and so did the rest of the kids! So, when the professor's back was turned I pointed my wand at the boys and poof. Now I have a lovly pair of bluish-silver tea cozys.
Updated Poem: 'Why does seeing a giant snake eat make me quesy?'
Tom
Dear diary,
Rosy has been telling me why she lives in the castle, something about my ancestor! She tells me that the heir has to kill mudbloods. YAY!
Today I went up to Minnie and asked her what house she was in, i thought she was in Ravenclaw cause she's so smart but she hasn't worn her cloak when i'm near so I didn't know what house she was in but I found out she was in Gryffindor! Ewww! From now on I'm sticking to Ravenclaws and Slythirins. I found two books that I want to read from the library, the history of the Gaunts and Jack and the beanstalk.
Love, Tommy
Ps. I am now lord Bunnymort (should I change it to Lord Moldyshorts?)
Pss. New line: Are the nice girls always in the houses with gits,
Like the girl who's dating Weasley?
Dear Diary,
I just came back from the library with two books and a movie. They are called King Arthur, Men Who Love Dragons Too Much, and Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail. I had a dream that I will be a serial killer when I grow and I will have lots of minions and everybody will be afraid to say my name and I will be very powerful and have six Horcruxes and Dumbledore is dead. It was a wonderful dream. Then I saw a face so ugly it turned my beautiful dream into a nightmare. Guess who that face belonged to? A lady named Dolores Jane Umbridge. She looked like a big, fat, oversized toad.
Love,
Tommy-kins
Dear Diary,
It occurs to me that perhaps my poetic soul was never meant to be read. Instead, it should be sung! I shall start a band, and then everyone will know how cool I am and girls will like me and all the cool people and the nice girls can have a party and maybe kill some mudbloods! I hope Rosy doesn't mind. I wonder if I can teach her to play the drums?
Sincerely,
Lord Moldyvort and the Riddles!
p.s. Well, maybe not 'and the Riddles', I haven't found them yet. Hm, I wonder who I can recuit...
Dear Diary,
I found Rosy a maraca she holds really well with her tail. She has a wicked beat, man! I found a marachi band to do back up. I wonder how she'd look in a Tango dress and try out for Dancing with the Stars! She'd be a great partner for George Hamilton! I can just see her in her bandana banana outfit, yellow with big red spots and him in his bull fighting outfit doing the tango! What an imagination, I'm in love! Must learn the tango!
Sincerely,
Lord Danceamort and the Riddles!
P.S. Must pick up Mexican jumping beans...see what she'd think of them! Oh, and more mix!
Dear Diary,
I was practasing how to tango in the great hall this evening when Minni saw me. She looked horror struck and when her friends looked in too they burst out laughing! I think it was the red dress i was wearing that did it most of all. When I ran out of the hall crying I bumped into Dumbledor taking his midnight stroll, he asked me whether i will be killing people any time soon. It was quite bizzar really, maybe Rosie knows what he's on about.
Well I added another line to my poem; "Why do girls hate my tango moves?"
Tom
:0)
Dear Diary,
Woe is me! Rosy isn't speaking to me. I confided in her after finding Minnie felt sorry for that dumb oaf that I got expelled. Oh why can't she feel sorry for me? I told her I was just jealous because I wanted the Acromantula for myself. Now Rosy thinks I would rather have that stupid spider than her. Atleast my agony makes for great insperation in my poetry. Maybe I'll write rosy a poem.
Sincerly,
Lord Moldyrats (rosy always liked that one)
Dear Diary,
I found a nice dress for Rosy Fluffy Slyther and , on a whim, tried to summon a partner for her. Accio, George Hamilton!
It didn't work.
So, I've decided to lean tihe tango myself and went sneeking into the restricted section of the library. I found a book on how to tango and found a book on muggle pick-up lines.
After reading that book last night, I tried my new skills on Minnie.
It was after dinner that I stoped by the Gryffindor table and asked her: "If I said that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
I woke up in the hospital wing. But Madam Pomfrey says I'll be out by tommorow once the swelling in my cheek goes down. I never knew Minnie had such a good arm.
Dear Diary,
I have sent Rosie millions of rats to say sorry but she still isn't talking to me, what should I do?
I tried writing a different kind of poem to show how much I love her.
R- Is for Ravishing
O- Is for Outstanding
S- Is for Slythery
I- Is for Incredable
E- Is for her Extrordinary way she kills people.
I really hope she likes it.
Dear Diary,
I have sworn off the dress habit once and for all, and have decided to dress like a member of Sargeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Dippet pointed out that they won't exist until the 1960's. It's not my fault that I'm ahead of the fashion curve? One day, black hooded cloaks, scary green skull/snake tatooes, and masks will be in style, too!
I've added a new line to my poem:
Why don't nice girls appreciate the Beatles?
Dear Diary,
I have asked all of my friends to be in my band.
He said no.
But I shall persevere! I have even given up tango to learn the electric guitar, an instrument that hasn't been invented yet, but these are mere technicalities. I think I shall write Minnie a sonnet.
Update: Somehow, she didn't like my 'Roses are red, Violets are plucked' poem. I think it had something to do with the last two lines. Oh well.
The hospital wing is a lot cleaner this time around.
New line to my poem: Why do nice girls dislike my crude sonnets?
Love from Riddle-kins and the Riddles. No, wait...Voldesnort and the Slyther-Riddles!
Oh, I give up.
Dear diary,
Rosy is speaking to me again! But I had to say that I was sorry. I hate that word! Something weird happened to me today, first I was outside planning to go and visit Rosy when this tall ugly man who silts for a nose came up to me and well, he said that in the future, I would be feared by everyone in the wizarding community. I cheered and asked him if he was a seer but he said he was from the future! I asked him his name and he said Lord Voldemort a.k.a Tom Riddle! So now i'm back in the hospital wing, I just woke up from the faint that I took (I'M GONNA BE UGLY!). Then Mme.Caffrey said I could leave 4 kids, a guy who looked like Potter, a girl with bushy hair, a girl who looked like Packard (A/N:that's Molly's mom) and a guy who looked between Packard, Weasley and Prewett attacked me in the hall! Potter clone punched me in the nose and hit me with Expelliarmus. Bushy girl hit me with a big amount of advanced spells. red-haired Packard clone hit me with the bat-boogie spell and tackled me (I didn't mind that part cause she was cute). Then the red-haired guy freezed me and punched me in the guts. Then they dissapeared! So I cried all the way back to the Hospital wing and cuddled with my plushie snake which I named Greenie Nagini.
love,
Lord Voldemort?
Dear Diary,
I've been thinking about that visit from my future self resently and I realised it does have it's perks, having everyone being scared of me...I mean, no ones gona ask me to pay for anything and no girl would turn me down!
Maybe I should try it out, see how good I am at it...I think i'll pay some students a suprise visit. ...I hope Minnie doesn't find out.
Dear Diary,
I am still stuck in the hospital wing. I told Madame Caffrey about the ugly guy and the 4 kids, now she is really worried. Just what I needed someone else who thinks I need therapy. They are just frightened of my evil creative geunis.
New line: Why do nice girls try to hurt me.
Dear Diary,
I have been dreaming up grand schemes in preparation for my future evil self.
I think I will have my fabulous memoirs play a part. I have thought up a deliciously funny plan - what if I used my incredible powers to make a girl send a really stupid singing valentine to a boy she likes while I plot how to use her for my gain? How I would laugh. And how it would help me get revenge for all the nasty things girls have done to me over the years.
Updated poem: Why do nice girls think it's strange for me to write a diary?
Not a very catchy line I know, but it's the truth. I ought to buy a set of bongo drums soon, for when I start up the Beat-nik club!
Love from,
Riddle-pie, soon to be Lord Voldemort (I hope)
p.s Rosy Fluffy Slyther brought me a dead kitten today. Aww.
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