Contributors: SeventhChild; cowsgomoo, momOf3wizards; SchmergoWeasley, thedaughterofHP; deathbyband; Jezzer350; and ElegantlyWasted.
Dear Diary,
Future self ROCKS. I love the way he does his eyebrows. Beautiful. Anyway, he told me not to bother putting my emo make up on because...the note was a forgery! Someone saw me talking to Minnie earlier and thought it was be funny to impersonate her to trick me. Life is cruel and harsh.
But the joke shall be on them, for I will not approach the astronomy tower! Rosy shall be paying them a visit instead...
Oh, I do wish I could find out if Minnie likes me or not without being interreupted by one of her many boyfriends!
With love from Riddle-kins
Dear Diary,
I had to wait in the chamber while Rosy Fluffy Slyther (how I love her name!) went up to the astronomy tower. 3 tivo'd episodes of Desperate Housewives later, Rosy slithered up next to me and said that she had eaten everyone who was up on the tower. AND she said that she was ABSOLUTLY POSITIVE that she had eaten Minnie's boyfriend. I guess that her boyfriend had heard me ask minnie if she loved me and decided to get some of his friends together and, as Rosy put it, teach me a lesson.
That was all last night, today, I saw Minnie in the Great Hall at lunch and she wasn't surrounded by boyfriends! She was crying. I walked up to her and asked her what was the matter. And, this is a major acheivevement here, she put her arms around my neck and cryed on my shoulder! WHOOOOOO!
That was the best moment of my life! I think she's finally warming up to me! But, alas, then after having a good cry, she dumped her plate of spagetti on my head. Now I'm really thinking that hurting me is her way of showing affection.
On another note, Dumbledore is starting to look at me weird in transfiguration. I think he suspects me for all the student deaths. Stupid teachers, always poking their noses into other peoples bussiness. I'll show him one day! So right now I'm trying to think up ways to get "unsuspicious". My current favorite is pushing Dumbledore off the astronomy tower. Future self says its a good idea.
Tom
Dear Diary,
I've noticed on Desperate Housewives that none of the said housewives have scenes together anymore. Almost as if they all hate eachother. Strange.
Anyway, I had a wonderfully eye opening chat with Minnie today. I asked her if she likes me, and she told me I was an irritating yet beautiful piece of sludge. I liked the beautiful part, but she said it meant nothing as she hates emos and all their crying. I thought this was unfair as she's been crying a lot lately. She said she was allowed to, as her boyfriends have all died. I whistled nonchalantly, and then went on to argue that having more than one boyfriend is tarty.
I have been given a more comfortable bed in the hospital wing this time. Rosy Fluffy Slyther is curled up at the end by my feet, hissing comfortingly. She is the closest thing to a mother I know, especially as my real mother was an ugly runt.
Daddy must have been the wizard.
New poem line: Why do nice girls have multiple boyfriends?
I'll keep you updated on my adventures!
Love from Riddle-kins
Dear Diary,
I got a don't get well card today. Inside was a hand drawn picture of me with horns, forked tounge and a pitch fork. I have found it quite sentimental. I just hope it wasn't from Pompy considering the fact that she always seems so happy when I am here. Its just plain creepy. BLECK. Can't complain though because she allows Rosy to visit and hasn't told any one about her.
I have spent the last few hours trying to figure out what to do about Dumbledore. He came in asking me a bunch of clearly meaningless questions. I was able to lie my way through them quite well, although at times I had this wierd feeling that he knew. NAH! I still got the shivers from it though. No word from my future self. I hope to hear from him soon because I have a million ideas to run by him.
elddir mot
Dear Diary,
I am still worried about Dumbledore. I saw him speaking to Minnie, telling her she had 'promise'.
It was funny that she seemed to be popping into the hospital wing...when she saw that I was awake (and when I waved tearfully at her) she ran off with a loud 'SQUEE!'.
I think I frighten her, because I am so scary. Not my intention...but a turn on, nonetheless. I just wish I could shake Dumbledore off the scent!
I have a new poem line: Why do nice girls go 'SQUEEEE!'?
I think I'll continue writing my name backwards so that he won't know who I am if he sees this diary. I'm so clever.
Love from snik - elddiR
Dear Diary,
Even though Rosy loves fresh student in the morning, I had to ask her to lay off the student-eating for a while to try and get Dumbledore "unsuspicious". She said that if she couldn't eat kids I had to make sure she got roast pig. So for the past few days I've been sneaking around the kitchens, dodging house elves trying to nab a roast pig.
I haven't been paying attencion to how big Rosy Fluffy Slyther has gotten, lately. When she pulls herself up to her full height she's at least a foot taller then me! Maybe thats been why she's been so hungry lately, Rosy's been having a growth spurt!
When I got out of the hospital wing, I asked Minnie why she went "SQUEEE!" She didn't respond so I tried talking louder. Suddenly Dumbledore was right next to me, glaring. Creepy...I chickened out and ran back down the hallway. I'm pretty sure that he's watching Minnie so I don't annoy her. Things are starting to get really weird. I mean I just let my basilisk eat a few classmates, not really a big deal.
moT
Dear Diary,
Found out why Dumbledore's been looking at me funny. It's my makeup. Some people are SO PREJUDICED! Man, when I grow up, I'm gonna make sure never to be prejudiced against someone because of who they are, because that's just mean.
--elddir olovram mot
Dear Diary,
I applied more eyeliner than usual today, and when Dumbledore looked at me I glared straight back at him. Ha. Who looks like an idiot now, eh?
Minnie has been looking paler and paler. I tried letting her listen to a song of the future that future me gave me, called 'Chop Suey' by 'System of a Down'. I hoped it would cheer her up, but it seemed to depress her further. So then I pulled out the big guns - my 'Greenday' album! She cheered right up! In fact, her actual words were: 'Now I know my problems are meaningless when there's cack like that in the world of music!'.
Oh dear. I rather like Greenday. sniff
A new line to my poem: Why do nice girls hate Greenday?
With love from eiP-elddiR
P.S Rosy has been requesting very strange dishes...ice cream and soap, and margerine mixed with hagis. I've told her it's no good for her, considering how fat she's been getting lately, but she insists that she craves it! My poor snakey-kins...;;
Dear diary.
I should have never gotten Rosy to kill Miniie's boyfriend, she's getting pale,quiet,and when she does speak it's in a strict voice. About Rosy Fluffy Slyther, she's been getting all moody lately. I asked her what was wrong and she glared at me. I say I have to go to class and she begins to cry. i'm gonna take a book out from the library now.
elddiR moT
Dear Diary,
The book on Basilisks is very interesting, but it does make me worry about Rosy. Some of her symptoms - putting on weight, craving strange foods, picking out bonnets from Malkin's catalogue - make me wonder if she's...you know...wanting to become a vegan.
Now vegans are fine by me, what with most of them being emo and all, but Basilisk vegans are just wrong. And if she stops eating animals and animal produce, how can she kill and eat any of Minnie's future boyfriends? Life is so unfair. Even my Basalisk is turning against me. ;;
I found Minnie and asked her, hypothetically, what she would think if her Basalisk started showing Rosy's symptoms. She looked at me strangely (a look always reserved for me, I'm proud to add) and said: "I really don't know what to make of you, Tom."
SHE KNOWS MY NAME! Bliss is in that dawn which to be alive! Or something like that...
Love from,
snik-elddiR
Dear diary,
This one time at band camp...
(ahahahahaha! I'm such a band geek...)
Dear Diary,
Ignore that last entry - it was written by a witless house elf.
I am currently reading Anne Frank's diary (not a patch on mine, obviously) and wonder why she thought she had it so bad. I know it's not been published yet, but future self gave it to me because he knows we like diaries.
She is being persecuted by rampaging nazis and forced to live in an annexe. I am hated by my love Minnie, and have a pregnant Basalisk.
Yes, that is right! I asked Rosy Fluffy Slyther why she had decided to become a vegan, and she told me I was stupid and that she hated me. Then she explained. But she won't tell me who the father is!
Future self said to bring her onto 'Jerry Springer', so I will see if I can coax Rosy to come along. I don't know. My life is so tragic.
Love from snik-elddiR
Dear Diary,
Rosey has had me jumping back and forth between the chamber and the kitchen all day. Pickels with a spinache tarter sauce dip. Bleck! I thought I was gonna gag. She is insisting I choose between her and Minnie. Do you have any idea how anoying a baskilisks mood swings can be? I am gonna have to tip toe around this one for a while.
Being that caring for Rosy has taken up so much of my time, I have been really limited in the time I can devote to my persuits of my beloved Minnie. Oops, there goes my eyeliner running again. I just can't help it though, every time I think about the way Minnie looked at me yesterday...sigh It was a look of pure concern. I thinks she is worried I don't like her any more. That means she cares!
New line :Why do nice girls only seem intrested when you are to busy for them?
Yours in suffering,
elddiR moT
Dear Diary,
I asked Minnie what she would do if she was pregnant and had cravings for swordfish and frankfurters. She slapped me so hard I almost apparated, but it made me happy because I know she does it to express her love for me. I think... OO
I am giving some thought to this 'Springer' fellow, but Rosy says she doesn't want people to see her stretch marks on T.V, even though it hasn't been invented yet, AND she's a Basilisk.
I don't know what I'm going to do when the snakelings come.
Dumbledore is also following me more often than usual. I've been wearing more make up to make him think I've merely joined a cult, but it doesn't seem to be working. Besides, I always get these horrible black marks where the mascara runs, even after I've washed. Perhaps I shouldn't cry myself to sleep. Or better still, wash the make up off before I go to sleep. Why didn't it make sense before?
I have added a new line to my poem: Why do nice girls avoid pregnancy conversations?
With love from sniK-elddiR
Dear Diary,
I've decided that Minnie and Rosy's mood swings aren't annoying anymore because it simply means that they are emo, like me. I started to write a new poem about the fact that if there was a post count, everyone on this thread would have a lot higher post counts, but it wasn't very poetic, and I rhymed 'thread' with 'dead' seventeen times. Oh, well.
Turns out the father of Rosy's basilisk baby is the boyfriend of Minnie that she said she ate so long ago... wow... I personally find that disturbing. I checked out a dictionary of baby names-- if the basilisk baby is a girl, I like Pooky, Lacy, and Elizabeth Gompersmith. If it's a boy, I like Chompy, Binky, and Lordvoldemortshallreturnstrongerthanever. I don't know why that last one appeals to me so much.
Added a new line: "Also, why do nice basilisks have bad taste in names?"
Love,
moT "htimsemaN" elddiR
Dear Diary,
I have just come back from checking on Rosy. It was a good thing I hadn't reapplied my make up from my last good cry, because me and Rosy had a wonderfull tear fest together. She was worried because no baskilisk has actually ever given birth before. (No wonder there wern't any books on it at the library. Turns out her mom was a chicken and her dad was a toad. She ate them both. I told her if it would make her feel any better I would kill my dad to. She said it would. So now I am making plans to do that this summer instead of going back to that dreadfull orphanage.
Why do nice basilisks eat their parents?
Love
eddlir 'eman wen a deen' mot
Dear Diary,
Me and Rosy are bonded like suicide-packed teens - except we're not stupid enough to commit suicide, and it's my dad I'm killing, so...yeah.
Only two weeks till the summer holidays! I really feel that Rosy should kill an extra Mudblood to be on the safe side. Perhaps that annoying girl Myrtle will do. Always crying because she's ugly. Stupid Hufflepuffs always fall apart at the slightest thing. Not like us strong Slytherins!
I had to cry after I wrote that because I feel that Salazar must be ashamed of me, up in the big Slytherin house in the sky. I think he would have preferred me to be a goth, but goths don't cry. I do. I enjoy it because I can listen to Pantera at the same time and pretend that my life is hard.
Rosy says that I cry more than she does, which is saying something seeing as she's pumped full of oestrogen right now.
Another line: Why do nice girls prefer goths?
I must do something about my summer holidays...I must...
With love from
elddiR olovraM moT
Dear diary,
Minnie waved to me! She's still pale but the nurse says she's getting better. She says she's sorry for blaming me for her boyfriend's death. I said no problem and I took that opportunity to ask her out again and she said ok!
The roblem is now I have to keep it a secret from Rosy. She hates Minnie so yea. My fufure self says to go to the library and check out the history of Slytherin and his descendants. Then go visit Slughorn then go see my uncle then make a horcrux (what are those anyway?) then go kill my dad.
Complicated,
Fles Tneserp Ym
Today i'm beginning to feel depressed. Tom Riddle is no name of mine. Why did my Mother curse me with his Muggle name! So i figure that in Tom Marvolo Riddle there is an I, A and M that make I AM (blank) So what name can I make with the letters T O M R V O L O R D D LE? hmm thats what ill ponder.
Bye for now.
sdrawkcab gnitirw fo derit gnitteg
(blank) MA I
Dear Diary
Went into Hogsmeade today...I was in the Three Broomsticks getting myself a butterbeer before heading back when Minnie walked in followed by an entourage containing none other than Davey Chiffins the Ravenclaw Quidditch Capt. Davey has always enjoyed ribbing me about my lack of flying skill, so I'm not a sporty type, is that a crime now?
I'm getting off track here now...damn you Davey! Sorry Diary...I'll continue. Just as I was about to the leave the bar and find a seat I notice a quill had fallen out of Minnies bag, so being the kindly gent I am I picked it up and gave it back to her, she made this strange gurgling sound which could have meant anything really (although I personally like to think that she confessed her love for me), it's more likely to have been the fact that as I did this the crotch in my fave pair of skin tight black jeans ripped asunder spilling my underpants all over the place, yes that's probably it as she made off to sit down in great haste.
After muttering Reparo thus covering my modesty things got a bit strange. Davey Chiffins invited me to a party next weekend in the Room of Requirement he said, he obviously saw my true colours when I leapt to Minnies aid after loosing her quill on the floor le sigh if only she could do the same, I have no doubt that she'll be at said party, I might go, just for that reason, I'm not sure, but there is the small thing of what to wear...what if my emo attire just serves to bait people into ridicule? I don't want to have to cry in front of Minnie again, she doesn't seem to like that too much, I've considered wearing the red dress, I heard Minnie tell Davey that it's a good thing for boys to show their feminie side, after they moved off to sit down the only word I managed to catch from Minnie was "loserface" as she nodded her head in my direction, she really does care for me, I just know it! There's no way she could possibly resist me in the red dress, it really brings out my eyes, I'll see what Rosy Fluffy Slyther thinks...no doubt she'll have an opinion...
Oh dear, sorry once again diary...I appear to have verbal diarrhoea of the most fierce kind!
ymmoT
I just thought I'd let you know we have had nearly 200 hits, and only 4 reveiws.
It makes me kind of sad.