Title: Dreadful Emotions
Warnings: Angst- lots of angst
Rating: K
A/N: This started off as a one-shot, but has now developed since then into two drabbles. They are set after Sirius' death at the end of the fifth book and demonstrate Harry's mindset after that awful event. More drabbles may follow, but these are primarily written as a way to vent of unwanted feelings.
He thinks he can control me. Tell me the little that he thinks that I need to know then send me on my merry way. It's not until something goes wrong that he feels that he should reveal any more to me.
All the way through this school year I was filled with silent hope. Voldemort may be back, but Sirius was there. The war to come would be terrible, but I knew that my godfather would rescue me from my family. Even if the years to come would be horrific, I could have one enjoyable summer with Sirius at least before it all started.
Well whatever I thought before was wrong. He never told me anything it turns out and Sirius died as a result. If only he told me about the prophecy beforehand; I would not have gone rushing in to the ministry and Sirius would not have had the chance to fall through the veil. I would have waited, planned, and gathered strength and knowledge. I never would have led Sirius into any danger and he certainly would not have died.
I will train because what else can I do now. They all placed me on a pedestal as there hero and now, still a boy, I must fight the ultimate evil. It falls on my shoulders to win a war meant for others, or there will not be a proper world left for anyone else.
How can they do that to a kid, to me? I need to beat Voldemort so that everyone else can live happily, in peace. But there won't be any peace for me, or any happiness. I win and the world carries on turning without anybody for me in it. My friends have their families, but who do I have? My parents were taken from me many years ago and the rest of my family would prefer that I die. All I had was Sirius and thanks to him, my godfather's gone.
So as I stand here and trash his office, I know that I'm justified. He might say that I'm not truly angry with him, but he obviously can't read minds as well as he thinks he can. His emotions did not play any part in this. Instead he played the role of the insane leader, thinking that nobody truly mattered. What's one life when others are at stake? In his opinion we are all pawns, meant to die to win the war. Well, all expect me that is. How can he stand there when everything that has been taken from me is due to his neglect?
Sirius is dead and the only person at fault for this is Dumbledore!