These idiots drunk at a wedding? What could possibly go wrong? lol.
One For the Road?
It was nearly impossible to coax Spock and Uhura apart as they danced with each other almost the entire evening. But a few brave souls managed to lure Uhura away from Spock's side for a few moments, including Uhura's best friends Charlene, Scotty, McCoy, Sulu, and Chekov.
With the champagne flowing thanks to the captain and an open bar courtesy of Scotty and Sulu, a few intrepid crewmates also ventured to dance with Mr. Spock when his wife was otherwise engaged. For his part, Spock politely tolerated the drunken congratulations and clumsy dancers who stepped on his feet more than the floor. Beverages procured from all over the galaxy were on display at the bar and available for all those brave enough or foolish enough to imbibe them. That's where Uhura's male friends gathered to watch the party and also mourn the loss of the most eligible bachelorette on the ship.
McCoy spotted Jim and Scotty sitting at a darkened corner of the bar nursing what appeared to be some of Mr. Scott's special occasion brew. And by special occasion he meant the whiskey Scotty drowned his sorrows in every time his latest flirt dumped him. Scotty had gained a reputation on board the Enterprise as having the worst luck with women. Well, maybe not the worst luck. That prize belonged to his drinking companion, James T. Kirk.
For all of Jim's apparent success with the fairer sex, his relationships never managed to last very long and somehow seemed to end in bittersweet partings at best, and tragedy at worst. Bones knew that Jim had given up on the idea of love and marriage for himself and claimed he was content to captain the ship alone. But Bones also knew that Jim was a lonely man, and he was even more so now that his best friend was married and busy romancing his wife.
"What are you two old bachelors doing over here by yourselves when there is a room full of single ladies to dance with?" McCoy asked as he picked up one of the bottles that was on the bar between the two men. "I have a feeling if I lit a match between the two of you it would blow a hole clean through the hull of this ship."
"Bones!" "Dr. McCoy!" Jim and Scotty welcomed him in an overly excited tone as they turned to face him.
"Doctor, I have just the medicine for ye," Scotty said. "A sip of this will put a bit of spring in your step."
Scotty opened the bottle McCoy had been inspecting.
"A sip of that might put me in the ship's morgue," Bones said sniffing the brew. "Where'd you get this stuff?"
"It's Vulcanian brandy," Kirk said. "A souvenir from our last shore leave on that planet."
"Holy moly! No wonder they don't get drunk on our stuff. This stuff will take years off your life," Bones said as he took a sip.
"Here's hoping," Jim said morosely and downed his glass.
"Jim! What is wrong with you to say a thing like that?"
"Bones, did you see it?" Kirk asked.
"See what?
"Spock and Uhura's reception?"
"Sure, I was there, same as you two."
"Did you see the way they looked at each other?"
"Yeah..." Bones said not catching his drift.
"They're in love," Kirk said.
"Yes, Jim. They're married," Bones said with extreme patience.
"I can't believe Mr. Spock and Miss Uhura are together," Scotty said. "It makes a man think."
"Yeah!" Jim enthusiastically agreed.
"Makes you think what?" Bones didn't understand what these two were talking about anymore.
"It just makes you think," Scotty said. "If I had only known she was looking for a husband... It could have been me."
"Could it?" Bones asked doubtfully.
"Sure. I let that lass slip right through my fingers," Scotty tried to snap said fingers but fumbled it.
McCoy didn't have the heart to tell him he never had a chance. Uhura never had eyes for anyone else, not even Riley. It was always Spock.
"The first night she stepped aboard," Scotty continued, "I should have staked my claim." He shook his head and took another sip of his brandy.
"I never had a chance," Jim said. "Captains are not allowed to stake a claim on their officers."
"You two are too much. Sure Uhura's a peach of a girl, but you don't see me moping over her. There are hundreds of beautiful single women on the Enterprise not to mention the billions out there somewhere in the known galaxy to choose from."
"Of course, you're not moping Bones. You never even had a shot," Jim said.
"What?! I had a shot, more than you did, CAPTAIN!" McCoy countered.
"Doctor, don't take it personally. Sorry old man, but it was never gonna happen for you," Scotty chimed in.
The nerve of these two idiots, McCoy thought. He had a wife waiting for him and an ex-wife too. They couldn't even get one! "I'll have you know I've seen parts of Uhura you two could only dream about."
"Dr. McCoy!" Scotty protested with a scandalized tone.
"Bones!" Jim admonished him. "What are you saying, man?"
"I don't know. You two pushed me too far." McCoy pushed his way in between the two men. "Move over." He pulled up a stool, sat down, and poured himself another drink. "To the one that got away!" he said in a toast.
"Here here!" Scotty and Jim agreed.
"To Mr. Spock! Lucky devil," Scotty toasted taking another drink.
"To Spock!" Jim and Bones agreed in unison.
"That green-blooded, pointy-eared bastard," Bones mumbled with affection.
"Bones, you know you love him, and besides, look on the bright side," Kirk said patting his shoulder.
"What's that Jim?"
"At least Spock didn't threaten to break your neck or challenge you to one of those Kalifee things for looking inappropriately at his wife. I believe that is the Vulcan way."
"Jim, if you ever tell Spock I said anything unprofessional about seeing Uhura, I will break your neck."
Kirk laughed, "Duly noted, Doctor. Duly noted."
"Well gentleman, the night is young," Scotty said. "Why don't we get back out there and mingle with all the single lasses? I hear nothing gets them in the mood like someone else's wedding."
The captain begged off. "You two go ahead. I'm going to finish my drink and I'll be along directly."
Bones could tell Jim needed his space, so he grabbed Scotty around the neck and the two headed back to the dance floor.
Meanwhile, the captain poured himself another drink and stared at its contents. It had been a strange few days. New revelations and old memories mingled to stir his emotions. He wasn't sad but he was feeling a bit empty like his glass had just been. Only there was no easy way to fill up his empty heart or his empty life.
He slowly sipped his drink and thought about things that were probably best left alone. But tonight was one of those nights when his ghosts came back to haunt him. Thoughts of his family, his parents, Sam and Aurelan and Peter...
He didn't know how long he sat like that but he slowly became aware that someone was sitting beside him. They even took Scotty's bottle and audaciously poured themselves a drink, uninvited.
Sluggishly, he turned to look at the culprit. "I should have known. Who else would sneak and steal a drink from the Captain's table?"
"I didn't sneak," Charlene said. "I loudly plopped my ass down right next to you, only you're too drunk to notice."
"Is that any way to talk to your captain?"
"You're not the captain tonight. You're the best man and I'm the maid of honor and we are old friends. Our job is to make sure everyone else is having a good time, even if we are not. That job doesn't include brooding alone and getting drunk."
"For the record, I am not drunk and I have no intentions of getting drunk either. I think I've learned my lesson on that front and I hope you have too?"
Charlene ignored the implication of that question. "If you say so. And for the record, do you still not remember what happened the other night?"
Kirk let out a frustrated huff. "No! I told you I don't remember anything after a few Romulan ales. That stuff should be illegal."
"It is illegal. I believe you said RHIP, remember?"
"Unfortunately no, I do not remember, but apparently you do. You still haven't told me what happened that night. Instead, you sicced Spock on me."
"I didn't sic Spock on you. And nothing happened that night. At least nothing important. I was just worried about you that's all. But if you say you're good then I'm good. When the captain's happy then everybody is right?" Charlene picked up her drink and swallowed it in one large gulp and then she winced at the afterburn. "Damn, what is this?" She looked at the label on the bottle that had an alien script. "Never mind. Let's go turn this party out and wish our friends long life and prosperity. Think you can handle that?"
"Lieutenant, there is nothing I cannot handle." Kirk stood on unsteady legs.
"Except for Romulan Ale?" Charlene asked as she reached out a steadying hand.
"Except maybe Romulan ale and Vulcanian Brandy," Kirk answered as he followed her back to the dance floor.
RHIP = Rank has its privileges