This chapter feels a little disjointed and I'm not sure that it reads sensibly, but I'm just going to post it and hope that you will still follow along with me.

Chapter 18 – The morning after

Waking with a grunt and a groan, Tahlia blearily blinked her eyes open and peered at her alarm clock. Nearly 8am. That was a sleep-in for her. Lying very still, she assessed her body. Dry mouth; bitter taste on her tongue; pounding head.

"Good morning, hangover." she muttered, although she was surprised that she didn't feel worse. Felt like she got off pretty lightly considering how much she drank. How much did she even drink? Yuck, she didn't want to think about it.

Careful not to make any sudden movements just in case her true hangover pounced on her once she was upright, she gingerly sat up and got out of bed, pleased to find that she was wearing her sleep shorts and shirt, and had even had enough sense to take her bra off too – there it was, hanging on the chair – and gave herself a mental pat on the back.

But then she noticed her jewelry in a tidy pile on her desk. And her high heels side by side beneath the chair. And her dress hanging neatly on the door of her closet. And a glass of water and a packet of Tylenol on her nightstand.

Huh. That was exceptionally tidy and organized given the state she'd been in.

Puzzled, she headed for the bathroom.

Then she flipped on the bathroom light, and realization blazed through her at the same time. Oh no. Daryl had been here. Daryl had done all that. And then a vivid partial memory flashed in her mind: him helping her into bed, holding her up to make her drink water before instructing her to 'lie down and go the hell to sleep'.

Groaning loudly, she covered her face with her hands as pieces of the end of the night started trickling back into her consciousness:

Asking him to kiss her ('don't say that', he'd said, looking horrified – thanks for keeping that mortifying memory glaringly intact, brain) and then feeling like such an idiot when he'd just put his arm around her instead. Like he felt sorry for her.

And then carelessly drinking more to try and ease the sting of rejection from the two main men in her life in the same night (she made a mental note to book an appointment with her therapist – seemed like she might have a bit of work to do around that); then following from that - trying to dance on the back of the truck; trying to climb off the truck and falling on her ass; Daryl stopping on the way home so she could throw up on the sidewalk; Daryl practically carrying her up the stairs to the apartment; Daryl wrestling a bottle of vodka out of her hands that she'd fished out of the booze cupboard; Daryl dragging her to her room.

"You are such a loser!" she scolded her reflection as she wiped the smudged mascara from under her eyes then washed her face. "Because having a sulk about daddy wasn't embarrassing enough, you just had to go and throw yourself at your goddamned friend, too!"

Walking back into her bedroom to find something warm to wear, she continued her verbal self-reproach. "Friend, you dick. He's your fucking friend! Get it through your head!" Pulling a hoodie on, she headed for the kitchen. "And you could've tried to maintain a smidge of dignity, but nooo, you got completely trashed and acted like a total idiot! Ugh, what is wrong with you?! Fucking disgrace. No wonder – " She suddenly stopped in her tracks as she caught sight of Daryl sitting out on the balcony, gazing curiously at her through the open doors.

"Oh! Hello." she said politely, her face a mask of surprise. "I didn't realize you were here."

"Slept on the couch." He indicated his jeans and long-sleeved shirt. "Had a change of clothes in the truck."

"Riiight. So… you've been here the whole time?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Guess you would've heard me talking to myself just then."

"Lil bit. Yep."

"Great." said Tahlia flatly with a nod of resignation. "That's great."

"How you feelin'?"

"Aside from the overwhelming sense of shame, you mean?"

Daryl chuckled. "You ain't got nothin' to be ashamed of."

"Oh God, Daryl!" lamented Tahlia as she pressed a hand to her forehead. "I do so!" Sloping out onto the balcony, she dropped down into the chair opposite his. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I made you go to that painful event and then I fell to pieces over my dad and proceeded to get horribly drunk."

"Mm," nodded Daryl. "You did get pretty drunk. Y'know, I thought you were doin' fine, then all of a sudden…" He made a downward motion with his hand. "Straight downhill."

"I know." agreed Tahlia, wide-eyed. "It just kinda hit me. I drank way too much."

"Puked most of it up, though." stated Daryl helpfully.

Tahlia briefly squeezed her eyes shut. "Yes I did. I'm so sorry about that, too."

"All good." he shrugged. "Least ya didn't do it in my truck." Then he shot her a sly grin. "And that wasn't even the most entertainin' thing 'bout the ride home. Who woulda guessed you knew all the words to 'American Pie'?"

"Oh no." groaned Tahlia, covering her face again. "I was desperately hoping that part was just a dream."

"Nope." replied Daryl with a smug pop. "Didn't even need no music or nothin'. And that is one long song."

"Fuck." breathed Tahlia, tipping her head back in defeat. "Awful, awful, awful."

He chuckled. "Don't worry. Was only me around to witness all this."

"Ugh, I kind of wish it had been anyone but you." Then she puffed out her cheeks in a long breath and shook her head. "And that wasn't even the end of it, was it? Then you carried me up the stairs."

"More like, supported."

"And stopped me from drinking more."

"You got a little feisty 'bout that."

"And put me to bed."

Daryl looked slightly concerned at that statement. "I didn't undress you or nothin'." he told her quickly. "That was all you. I just came in after and picked up all the shit you tossed around the place and… and…"

"Tucked me in?"

"Yeah." He smiled sheepishly and ducked his head. "Coz I know ya like that, ya big baby. Gave you some water and stuff. Felt bad 'bout givin' you all them drinks. Shouldn'ta done that. Just didn't want you to be sad no more."

And that was so unexpectedly sweet that it made Tahlia feel instantly sad and Daryl must have noticed the look on her face, because he laughed a little and shook his head kindly.

"Silver, you ain't got nothin' to worry 'bout from last night. I live with Merle, remember? Dealin' with your drunk ass was a breeze compared to the shit I been through with him. Plus, you're a lot fuckin' easier to carry up stairs and put to bed. A lot nicer than him, too. You were just fine. We're all good."

"Are we?" she asked, brow furrowed as she hesitantly peeked over at him. "What about the part where I was an inappropriate jerk?"

Eyes darkening, Daryl said nothing. He knew exactly what she was referring to, although he didn't agree with her choice of words.

Sighing, Tahlia wrinkled her nose. "I'm so sorry about that, too. The thing about kissing me? I was… I don't know what I was thinking, but it was so stupid and so unfair to put you in that position. It was just a drunken, one-off, I promise. Nothing like that will happen again. I really love having you as a friend and I love this thing we've got going on and I don't want to do anything to ruin it. Well, I don't want to do anything else to ruin it."

Daryl was staring at her softly, his expression inscrutable.

"Have I ruined it?" she ventured. "Have I made things weird?"

Quiet for a long moment, Daryl then shook his head slowly. "Naw. Not at all. You couldn't. I know it was just the booze talkin'." Half-certain that last part wasn't true; half-hoping she'd tell him as much.

But Tahlia just grinned, relieved, because shit, it seemed like she was forgiven for being a tool and she hadn't wrecked anything, and from now on she was going to work extra hard at proving to him that she was perfectly happy with her position firmly in the friend zone. "Ok, good. Because the booze did do a lot of talking."

It didn't matter, Daryl knew, whether it had been the booze talking for her or not because he wouldn't let anything happen between them, not if there was a risk of blowing this up, a risk of reverting to the barren emptiness of before he knew her, a risk of hurting her. But this, the way it was, was still good and it was still enough and it seemed that she must think so too, so he followed her lead to lightness by smirking and adding, "A lot of talkin'. And singin'. And dancin'. And – "

"Ok!" Tahlia threw her hands up with a laugh. "I think we've established that I'm a complete trainwreck, so let's leave it at that, shall we? So, thank you for being super amazing, I really appreciate it, but you don't have to stick around though, honestly. I'm almost totally fine, and you should go and get on with your day. I officially release you from your babysitting duties."

Concentrating on fishing his tobacco pouch out of his pocket, Daryl said casually, "You headin' to Michonne and Rick's later, right? What time?"

"Mm, probably go over there for 3."

"'Kay." nodded Daryl, rolling a cigarette. "I'll stick around 'til then. If ya don't mind. I got nowhere else to be."

"Oh! Really? Sure, if you want to." replied Tahlia, unable to help the surprise in her tone. "You can totally – oh shit! The tiramisu!"

Daryl blinked at her. "The what now?"

"The… it's a dessert. I told Michonne I'd bring one over and I was supposed to make it last night before the fundraiser but I ran out of time, so I was going to make it this morning but someone got me really drunk and I slept in and forgot, so…!"

"How long does it take to make?"

"Not long, but it needs time to set in the fridge."

"Got all the stuff?"

"Yeah, it's all there, but…"

Daryl shrugged and stuck the cigarette in his mouth. "Let's make it then."

Tahlia's eyebrows shot up. "You want to help me make tiramisu?"

"Maybe. Is it good?"

"I think so." replied Tahlia with a quirk of her brow. "It's got coffee in it."

"It's got…? Goddamn Silver, you need an intervention!"

She laughed and stood up. "Ok, first let me go have a shower and wash all the vomit out of my hair."

Sparking his lighter, Daryl squinted up at her. "Ain't no vom in your hair."

"How would you know?"

He took a big puff and slowly exhaled the smoke. "Coz I held it out the way for ya."

"You…?" Tahlia stared at him in disbelief. "Oh. Yep. There's the partial memory now, coming back to haunt me. Great. But, thank you for that, I guess." She started back inside, then turned to look at him. "You know, it makes sense why you're such an asshole to people when you first meet them."

Daryl just raised his brows in question, waiting for her to explain (because it wasn't like he could deny it).

"Mm. Because if everyone knew about this," she waved a hand in his direction, "You'd be fighting all of them off with a stick. Sticks probably. Many, many sticks for all the fighting."

And then, muttering to herself, she disappeared inside the apartment and Daryl was left wondering what the hell that meant.

When Tahlia emerged, fully cleansed, fresh-clothed and halfway back to normal, she wandered into the living room to see Daryl lazing back in the armchair, a Styrofoam cup in his hand and another even larger one on the table that Tahlia recognized to be from the park vendor's cart.

"Is that…?"

"Biggest coffee he had. Extra shot. Thought you might need it."

"Wait." she said skeptically as she reached for the cup. "Thought you said I needed an intervention?"

"Ain't safe for someone with your level of addiction to go cold turkey. Body'd shut down in a day." Then he gestured to a paper bag next to it. "There's a bagel, too. They're pretty good. Nearly ate yours and pretended I never got you one."

"Such restraint." praised Tahlia with mock-admiration, then broke into a genuine smile. "Thank you. I'm tired and starving, and that is a very dangerous combination. For you. Things could've gotten real ugly." Then she gestured for him to follow her to the kitchen. "Come on, it's your time to shine. I need you to whip up some cream."

So Daryl soon found himself whipping cream for the first time in his life while Tahlia pottered about adding things and tasting it and flicking it at his face (which earned her a solid kick in the ass), and then she soaked cookies (Daryl had a hard time getting over the fact they were called 'ladyfingers') in cold brew coffee and rum and he ate half of them and drank some of the rum and Tahlia gagged a little at the smell of the alcohol and he laughed and then helped her layer the cream on top and spread it all tidy like and sifted some cocoa powder and grated a little chocolate on this one and did the same on that one that she'd made for him to take home, and it was done.

"So," he said, leaning against the counter and licking the cream off the spoon as she washed the mixing bowl, "I stayed over coz I wanted to make sure you were ok. You ok?"

She glanced up at him, then back to her task. "Yeah, I'm good. Do you mean like, hangover-wise?"

"Naw."

"Oh." Although she had already known, really, that he meant dad-wise.

"You know that ain't 'bout you. All that critical shit. That's his own issues he's puttin' on ya."

"Damn." said Tahlia lightly as she picked up the dish towel. "My therapist charges out the nose for insight like that."

"Tahly." He tossed the spoon in the sink and caught one end of the towel. "You know that?"

"I know it." she replied quietly, dropping her gaze and letting him pull her closer. "Hurts like it's new info every time, though."

"Jesus." Daryl couldn't help but wrap her in his arms because that was his natural inclination any time she looked even a degree south of happy, and she let him hold her for a tight moment before extricating herself and letting out a short laugh.

"Please don't indulge me. I can't complain. Especially not to you. You've lived through a thousand times worse."

"Different."

"It's not."

"Is." Daryl folded his arms. "My dad was a massive asshole to everyone. Ain't never pretended otherwise. But your daddy's all fake. Pisses me off."

"Don't waste your energy." Tahlia told him wryly as she started drying the bowl.

"Gonna." replied Daryl firmly, then took the bowl from her and laid it on the counter before lacing the fingers of one hand through hers. "Whatever you got to go to with him, whenever you gotta see him, I wanna come. Don't care how fancy, don't care how much I gotta schmooze, wanna be there with ya."

Brow furrowing, Tahlia gave a tiny shake of her head. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Coz I just do." he said stubbornly, pinching her side with his free hand. "And I don't care how wasted ya get, don't care if I gotta carry ya home, I wanna be there. 'Kay?"

"Daryl. You don't have to –"

He cut her off with a sharp smack to her butt. "'Kay?!"

"Ok!" laughed Tahlia, ducking her head and squeezing his hand gratefully. "Ok."

After midday they headed over to the park for some fresh air and they meandered through the sprawling acres, under oaks and over bridges, through narrow paths and open green, dodging dogs and ducking pigeons, the sun warm, the air still.

"Got to make the most of this weather." remarked Tahlia as they rounded the slope at the top of the duck pond. "Apparently it's going to be raining all week."

"Damn, is it?" replied Daryl, lobbing a pinecone towards the water. "Wanted to get a bike ride in this week." Then he elbowed her. "Been a while since I taken you out. If it ain't rainin' on the weekend, wanna go for a ride somewhere?"

Tahlia smiled. "Hell yes I do. Here, come sit for a bit, I want to soak up some sun while it's out. Where should we ride to?"

Settling on the grassy bank, Tahlia lay on her back, tucking her hands behind her head, and Daryl dropped down next to her, leaning back on his elbows.

"Dunno. Could just go to that lake again for the day. Or we could go further out. Lotta fun backroads when ya head into the country."

"Remind me to bring a cushion if we're going to be on the bike all day." murmured Tahlia, eyes closed.

"Nah. We could head for somewhere a couple hours away, stop a few times, then stay over and ride back the next day so we ain't on the bike too long."

Tahlia peeked an eye open and nodded. "Sounds good, sign me up."

Then she shut her eyes again so he allowed himself a lingering gaze, then puffed out his cheeks in a slow, silent exhale. Probably didn't need to be planning yet another weekend with her. Would be better if he got around to doing all the jobs that were piling up – cleaning the gutters, repairing the fence, servicing his truck. Would be much better if he were doing any of those things today instead of making fucking dessert and wandering around the damn park. But here he was because here she was, and that was the bit that he was still trying to adjust to. Was still trying to adjust to having the center of his world shift to revolve around Things That Involved Her. Was still trying to make sense of that. It wasn't always enjoyable, this feeling of being completely unmoored by another. Not knowing if you'd ever make it back onto solid ground.

"God, it's actually really hot!" declared Tahlia suddenly, sitting up and stripping off her long-sleeved top. Flopping back onto the grass, she hitched her tank up to the base of her bra, then wriggled her jeans down on her hips to the brink of publicly respectable.

At the sight of her, skin sun-kissed and body cat-stretched next to him, a blood-heavy pull tugged sharply in Daryl's gut and a vivid image blazed in his mind of moving closer, tracing a finger from her bellybutton up the smooth plane of skin to her breastbone, then sliding sideways, bumping gently down over her ribs and dragging south to the hollow at her hip before sliding beneath her waistband and burning a trail across to the other side, popping the button of her jeans open on the way, ready for his tongue to follow the same path as his hand, before travelling down, down, and…

His cock twitched.

Goddammit.

Annoyed at himself for letting his thoughts go that far (sure, they went a lot further in the privacy of his bedroom, but he was usually scrupulous about keeping them tightly reined in around her) and annoyed at her by extension because right now, all fucking roads led back to Tahlia, he rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into the grass, sucking in the scent of earthy green before tucking an arm under his head and frowning over at her.

"Hell ya doin'?" he grumbled. "Ain't at the beach."

"There's no beaches around here. Gotta make do with what we have." replied Tahlia mildly, unperturbed by his tone. "Just trying to get some vitamin D while I can."

"Just gonna get skin cancer."

"From five minutes of sun in the fall?"

"Never know." griped Daryl, just for the sake of it. "Best to keep your clothes on."

"She's wearing a crop top." remarked Tahlia, pointing to a passing runner.

"She's exercisin'. Different."

"Ok then." Still on her back, Tahlia bent her palms flat against the ground next to her ears, elbows in the air, then raised her body off the ground and into a perfect arc. "I'm exercising too. Yoga. Is it acceptable for me to have skin exposed now?"

"Quit it!" snapped Daryl because he really, really didn't need to see how goddamned flexible she was; didn't need that image seared into his brain.

Chuckling, Tahlia lowered herself to the grass and pulled her top down, rolling onto her side to face him before poking him in the ribs. "All this sun making you grouchy, cupcake?"

And if it were anyone else saying that they'd get a harsh, 'fuck off', but she brought out a lighter side of him (that he hadn't even known was in there) and it was too difficult to stay in a mood with her so instead he slapped her hand away and twisted onto his side, jabbing her in the stomach once, twice, then tickling her a little for good measure before resting his hand on her waist.

"Ain't the sun that's doin' that, you pain in the ass."

Still laughing, Tahlia reached out and caught the center of his shirt between her fingers and gave it a light tug. "You sick of me?"

"Yeah." affirmed Daryl, as staunch as he could manage and gave her side a gentle squeeze. "Real fuckin' sick of ya." Then he paused for a moment and said, "I'm droppin' another of Negan's cars back to him on Tuesday. Think you'll have time for a coffee?"

Barely able to suppress her smile, Tahlia parroted, "Yeah, real fuckin' sick of ya." which immediately earned her a pinch on the side and a playful growl from Daryl. Then she shifted onto her back and closed her eyes again (because she had now resolved not to let herself get caught up gazing into his eyes as that made her want to do stupid things – like asking him to kiss her), and said breezily, "And you know I always have time for coffee."

"Good." replied Daryl, reluctantly sliding his hand from her.

God, and now he was looking forward to Tuesday already.

And that had him swinging back to question all those things that Merle had said. He'd been yo-yoing on this all week. In this moment he couldn't understand how Merle could possibly be right. How could it ever be possible to look at her and feel nothing? And surely it wasn't normal to have someone occupy this much headspace. Surely it wasn't normal to want to spend so much goddamned time with someone and fit the rest of life around that.

But then he thought about the other thing Merle had said: 'you're just horny'. Maybe he was. Maybe his brain was just short-circuiting because he'd never been close to anyone like this before and he couldn't separate that from the fact that he found her attractive.

There was a way to test Merle's theory: he could sleep with someone – a stranger with whom there was no history, no connection except attraction – have a night of fucking, and then if, afterwards, he felt sated and thoughts of Tahlia quieted, he'd know that Merle was right, and it would be easy to accept the fact that if he wanted to keep Tahlia as a friend then nothing could ever happen between them, his desire would naturally fade, and she'd assume a regular friend-sized role in his life.

And if the opposite happened… well, then he'd get out of his head and do what he'd been about to do after the cabin.

"Sure you don't want a beer?" asked Rick, holding up a bottle.

In Rick and Michonne's kitchen later that afternoon, Tahlia looked up from slicing tomatoes. "God no. I think my liver would explode. It's still trying to recover from last night."

Sliding a tray into the oven, Michonne cast a glance at her. "So, how did it go?"

"Like it usually does."

Rick gave Tahlia's shoulder a commiserative squeeze, and she shook her head. "It's fine. I should know what to expect by now."

Perching on a stool opposite to where Tahlia was preparing the salad, Michonne studied her friend for a moment before saying, "Andrea told me that Daryl went with you."

Keeping her eyes carefully fixed on her knife, Tahlia nodded. "Yeah, he did."

"You know I would have gone with you."

"I don't actually need anyone to go with me to these things. I'm a big girl. I can handle being on my own."

Michonne raised her brows. "That's not my point."

At that, Tahlia laid down the knife and looked up. "Dare I ask?"

"Dare I ask?!" countered Michonne firmly. "Tell me what happened with him."

"Nothing! I got drunk, he looked after me and took me home. He was super lovely, Michy. He's not the asshole that you think he is."

"Well all I've got to go on is the first time we met him when he was a total asshole; the Beerfest when he picked a fight with Shane; and when he stood you up so he could get trashed and hook up with his ex-girlfriend."

"Hey." Rick said laying his hand gently on Michonne's back, a quiet caution to not get too worked up.

"She wasn't his…" Tahlia stopped herself from finishing that sentence and tried to focus on the more important part. "That's not all you've got to go on. He's done loads of nice things for me and you know that."

It was no secret that Michonne didn't have a high opinion of Daryl purely based on the little interaction she'd had with him, and although she knew from conversations with Andrea (whose opinion she trusted more than Tahlia's on this matter) that Daryl was, in fact, a decent guy, she couldn't help but be skeptical of his intentions towards Tahlia and worry that her big-hearted friend was going to get crushed, one way or another.

"I just don't get why you spend so much time with him."

Tahlia shrugged. "Because we're friends, and he's actually one of my only single friends right now which means he has time to hang out with me." She gave Rick a dirty look and he laughed, holding his hands up in submission.

"Again – real sorry about stealing Michonne from you."

"You're lucky that I love you."

"Tahls." Michonne wasn't ready to let it go just yet. "He's not the guy for you."

"We're just friends!"

Michonne gave her a disbelieving look. "I think you need someone who openly adores you, someone who's kind and gentle and leaves no doubt that they're madly in love with you."

"That sounds kind of creepy."

"I mean it, Tahls. You deserve to be happy."

"I am happy! I'm perfectly happy on my own. I don't need to rely on another person to provide fulfilment in my life." she teased, throwing a pointed look between her friends, and Rick chuckled and flipped her off.

Deciding she was done with the grilling, Michonne drummed her fingers on the table and bit her bottom lip. "But… if you did need another person…"

"What?"

"Well, you know Laura, the new legal secretary we've got in corporate?"

Suspicious, Tahlia nodded. "Vaguely…"

With a hopeful smile, Michonne leaned forward on the counter. "So, she's got this housemate who's an amazing guy, so sweet and –"

"No!"

"Yes! He'd be perfect for you!"

"No set-ups!"

"Well, how else are you going to meet anyone when you spend all your spare time with Daryl?!"

Tahlia laughed. She couldn't really argue with that.

Taking her chance, Michonne carried on. "His name is Alden, he's in a band – "

"Nope. No more singers."

"- he works at a coffee place on Elm – "

"Ooh," Tahlia perked up at that. "I'm listening."

"So, his band is playing in a couple of weeks at The Underground, and I was thinking that maybe we could all go along and check it out."

"Check him out, you mean."

Michonne grinned. "You can check him out and see what you think."

"Ugh." Tahlia rubbed a hand over her face. "I don't know…"

"Well, I already told him you'd be there, so you have to come. And…" added Michonne with an innocent smile, "If you're really not into Daryl, like you say, then what's the harm?"

Pursing her lips, Tahlia fixed her friend with a withering look. Michonne had her there.