Echoing screams filled the hollow basin: shrill sounds of grief and terror. Amaryllis felt each of them like a dagger to the chest, a swift yet agonizing tearing of flesh that felt like nothing compared to the emptiness beneath her ribs. Her hands became claws, digging into the skin of her ears, trying to block out the sounds of their misery. Her tears continued to flow unbidden down her pale cheeks. She closed her eyes tightly and willed away the image of the sky, the ruined temple, and the massacre before her.
"We should begin searching for survivors," Cassandra suggested, tipping forward as she struggled to her feet, steadying herself with a gloved hand at her knee. Tear tracks marked her dirt-stained cheeks but she was no longer crying. "Divine Justinia may yet be found."
Leliana turned to her with an expression devoid of emotion, her own cheeks surprisingly dry. "She is gone, Cassandra, as are the others. There are no survivors." With a wide sweep of her arm, she gestured toward the destruction around them. "No one could have survived a blast such as this."
"I have hope yet, Leliana." The two women exchanged looks, staring into each other's eyes for a moment until the redhead's expression softened minutely. She nodded. Cassandra moved away, towards the silent crowd, and began giving orders. Leliana looked up at the roiling rift, took a deep breath, and did the same.
Yet Amaryllis stayed, on her knees upon the ground, gripping herself tightly as if to hold together the shattered pieces of a broken vase. It was the only thing keeping her from falling completely: the only thing holding her together, now.
Gone, she thought, clutching her dirtied robes tightly until her knuckles turned white, everyone is gone. Mom. Dad. Akasha. Mihris. Ellana. When will it be my turn? Why am I the one left to suffer on my own?
It wasn't a hand to her shoulder that brought Amaryllis out of her misery this time, but a familiar, husky voice to her right.
"You heard the Seeker, kid. Let's look for survivors," Varric said, then cleared his throat. Amaryllis looked up at him without bothering to wipe her sullied cheeks, surprised at the difference the angle made. He was so much more real than she had ever imagined him. Just another reminder that everything was real. "Don't waste time sitting on your ass grieving for someone you don't even know is gone. Come on."
Varric took hold of her hand and pulled her to her feet. When she stumbled into his side, he caught her with a gentle arm around her waist. Amaryllis was surprised to note how strong he truly was.
The rest of their party was dispersed throughout the ruined temple, sifting through the ruins for any sign of even just a single survivor. No one spoke. Not much could be heard but the whirring of the rift above and the scuffling of their shared footsteps as they stepped around the inner layer of jagged stone, standing taller than the rift itself, pointed at the ends like daggers. The air tasted of charcoal and sulfur, the malodor of burnt skin and hair. Amaryllis's mouth filled with the metallic tang of vomit. She gritted her teeth against the urge to heave and allowed Varric to lead her forward, trying not to stumble over loose rocks from collapsed walls as she scrubbed the tears from her face.
"Good," Varric murmured, finally letting go of her hand with a gentle pat of reassurance as he stepped off to the left to search through the rubble. "Can't look properly if you can't see."
But Amaryllis found that she didn't want to see. All that laid before them was death and destruction, causing grief beyond imagination to fill her emptied chest. She wasn't sure if she had tears left to cry for all the mangled corpses, so burnt their melted flesh stuck to the ground beneath them, far past unrecognizable. How would they be put to rest if they couldn't be identified?
Out of the corner of her eye, Amaryllis caught sight of a familiar fabric, stirred by the wind. It startled her, breaking Amaryllis of her dark thoughts and she turned on one foot to face it. The thinnest thread of hope appeared in her chest. She gasped, her lungs filling quickly with cold air. She felt as if she stood on the edge of a precipice, in that strange floating moment before falling.
Her heart pounded fiercely. When her bleary eyes finally settled upon the figure a few feet to her right, her body swiftly turned cold, frozen to the core, filled with absolute dread. The thread snapped under the weight of it. The damage was irreparable.
Tattered and blackened blue robes hung from yet another corpse. This one, though, was different from the others. Its body was shorter, petite, too small to be human. Elven. Ellana.
She wasn't the only one wearing these robes, Amaryllis attempted to calm herself, to stop the intense trembling of her chin. She couldn't have been the only elf. There had to have been others.
She knew. Deep down inside, she knew. Hot tears spilled down Amaryllis's cheeks, unbidden, once more. I couldn't see her face, one last time. I couldn't hold her. Amaryllis pressed closer, taking hold of a piece of the billowing robe. Soot coated her hands, darkening her fingertips. From up close she could smell cooked meat, but this time the smell did not make her gag. This is my sister. Ma asa'ma'lin. Lethal'lan. Sorrow filled her until it overflowed through her tears.
"How could you leave me behind?" she murmured through quivering lips coated with the salt of her tears. Amaryllis gripped the robe harder. The ruined fabric tore further and her fingernails met the soft, icy skin of her palms, digging in deeply as if to draw blood. She wondered how hard she would have to press to feel something other than hollow. "Ma asa'ma'lin, ir abelas. It should have been me. " She lifted a hand to Ellana's disfigured face as if to run it over her cheek, but couldn't bring herself to touch her sister's ruined skin. Ellana's charred lips were pulled past her teeth in an eternal scream. Her eyes had melted from sockets left emptied and black.
To Amaryllis's horror, nausea swirled in her stomach, filling her mouth with bitter saliva. She heaved once and slapped a hand over her mouth, hoping to keep it from spilling out. Muffled sobs broke through her clenched, shaking fingers. Each breath she took seemed an impossible task. She tore at the front of her robe, pulling it tightly in her fist until a terrible stretching could be heard. Even then she could not stop, gasping for air through her tears, gagging with every inhale that brought the stench of fire and death.
The familiar crunch of feet over stone and a muted, husky gasp sounded to her left, signaling Varric's approach. Amaryllis squeezed her eyes shut, wishing away the image of the corpse but it stayed, an indelible mark etched upon her eyelids, not unlike the scar on her neck or the tattooed underside of her arm. The pain would fade with time, but it would never truly go away. Not as long as she was alive.
"Hey," Varric said, softly. She hoped he wouldn't touch her. She couldn't bear it. "Let's get away from here. We've got to keep looking."
Amaryllis shook her head. She couldn't find the words to speak, couldn't allow herself to admit that she had already found who she'd been looking for. Varric understood anyway.
"How do you know that it's her?" He argued. "No offense, kid, but they all look the same. Come on. We've barely looked. There's still hope yet." His gloved hands brushed her elbow and she did open her eyes then, turning wildly on her heel to face him. Anger quickly rushed to her face, turning her cheeks crimson. She could feel the snot flowing from her nose but she did not brush it away. Amaryllis stepped closer until she towered over him, fuming, but he did not move, nor did he look scared. No, his expression was one she recognized. Empathy.
"It's her," she spat angrily. Yet still, he did not flinch, not even when her tears fell, splashing upon the collar of his coat. "I know it's her, her cloak was blue. She—" Amaryllis swallowed past the lump in her throat, past what she couldn't bring herself to say. He wouldn't understand. "It's her."
"She couldn't have been the only one wearing that color, kid, I was there too. I saw the crowd." He shrugged and stuck a hand into his pocket, digging around for a moment until he seemed to find what he was looking for: a handkerchief, sky blue, embroidered in mismatched flowers. "I'll let you borrow this just once. Wouldn't wanna lose it and have to deal with Daisy's sad puppy eyes." She didn't reach to take it so he took her hand and placed it in her palm, pressing against her fingers until they curled into the cloth. It was soft and well-worn. "How do you know it's her?"
"I—" Amaryllis pressed her lips together and brought the handkerchief to her damp cheeks, using it to catch her tears as they fell, then roughly rubbed at her nose until she felt clean enough. He's right, she thought. How do I know? She couldn't have been the only elf, and she definitely wasn't the only one wearing blue. Her eyes widened in realization. "Tattoo."
"Tattoo?" he asked, sounding a bit surprised.
She did not bother to answer. The vallaslin upon Ellana's face would have been too light a color to see now, but their tattoos had been black, thick-lines that would have stayed. Amaryllis took a deep breath and turned back to face the corpse, choosing to focus on the gruesome task at hand rather than remind herself of its harrowing expression. Her right hand gripped the ruined robe once more, fingers shaking with anxiety. This was it. One pull to expose the corpse's underarm, and she'd know.
She pinched the fabric between white-tipped fingers, clenched until her knuckles turned white with the pressure, and pulled.
From behind Varric's boots could be heard scraping against the ground, stumbling as if startled into movement, and he began to yell "What the fu—"
A force so great sent the two of them flying into the wall behind them, too sudden to brace for impact. Amaryllis hit the stone with a crack and a gasp; the air had been knocked from her lungs and left her struggling to breathe. Vision turned green then white, she laid in a crumpled heap upon the ground until the ringing in her ears began to dissipate, and she found that she could finally breathe again.
She sat up, clutching her side in pain at the movement, eyes darting straight to the rift. It shifted quickly, wisps of green struck the air like a whip and bubbled as if boiling, around a black, oozing hole that seemed to have opened in the middle, widening with each passing second. Her heart thudded in her ears, drowning out surprised shouts coming from all around the ruined temple's basin. In an instant it flashed again, causing Amaryllis to squeeze her eyes shut at the intensity, but she had seen it: an outstretched hand, fingers curled into claws, scrambling for purchase through the air.
Could it be?
Another flash and this time it was two hands, brown hair, slim shoulders, and a body dressed in blue that floated through the air for a moment, then fell. Amaryllis clambered to her feet unsteadily, hissing through gritted teeth at the protesting tightness in her chest. Her lungs protested her sudden ascent. She could not be there to catch the figure in time before it hit the ground with a heavy crack. Amaryllis forgot the dwarf at her side, and ran.
By the time she reached the body a small crowd had already formed, circling around it as if too terrified to look: too terrified to touch. Amaryllis shoved her way through, ignoring the protests of the people, and dropped to her knees beside it with a thud that sent shockwaves of pain up her trembling thighs. Without a second thought, she reached down and attempted to pull the cloak from where it was tangled around the person's neck, to no avail. It was torn all along the arms with the worst of the damage along the left, where a majority of the limb was bare, subjected to the icy mountain air.
Amaryllis's pulse quickened, her vision swirled, but she found she couldn't look away from the torn fabric where the pointed tip of a black tattoo peeked out. She thrust her fingers through the hole and yanked, exposing the rest of the underarm and the tattoo of a black feather with a long, hollow shaft, identical to her own.
All commotion around her faded until she could hear nothing but a high-pitched ringing, not unlike the screech of a flatline. Amaryllis took hold of the person's arms, pulled them to the side, untangled the cloak from around their neck, and without pause, ripped the hood back.
"Oh," a sigh of relief and utter joy. Hours spent panicking, filled with dread and sorrow at the loss of her sister had all been for naught, and she had never been happier for it. "Ellana," she whispered, lifting her sister's limp form towards her. Fingers that no longer shook searched for a heartbeat at Ellana's neck. Her eyes were closed, lips tinged blue from the cold, but when Amaryllis finally found her sister's pulse she grinned, elated by the strength of its every beat.
Voices spoke words she did not understand until hands reached out as if to stop her. She slapped them away without a second thought, pulling Ellana closer, pressing her sister's face into her collarbone as if to hide her from the world, like a dragon protecting its eggs, and glared at those who dared to approach.
Solas was the first to do so. He kneeled before her, eyes locked with Amaryllis's own and spoke, softly, as if it were a secret he wished only to share with her. "I understand you may be feeling protective at the moment, and rightfully so, but it would be wise to allow me to check for injuries." He pressed on without letting her speak, even as she opened her mouth to protest. "This woman not only entered the Fade in the flesh, but somehow survived long enough to exit it through a portal we have yet to understand. I know a thing or two of the Fade. Please, let me take a look."
"No," Amaryllis didn't allow herself to think it through before denying him. Instinct had her clutching Ellana closer, staring Solas down in an attempt to protect the person she held most dear. "No, I can take care of her on my own."
"I am a healer," he countered, twining his fingers together as he leaned his elbow upon his knee. He did not move closer, and for that, she was grateful, though the longer she held his gaze, the more she began to see that something about him wasn't quite right. She hadn't the faintest idea why. "You need not worry about my abilities; I have had many years of practice."
"Eol ar'ema tas," she spoke clearly, narrowing her eyes as she clutched Ellana ever closer. Solas seemed surprised to hear her speak Elvhen, if the quick tilt of his brow and slight widening of his eyes was anything to go by. Amaryllis pushed on, "She's my sister. I'll heal her."
"With what mana?" He asked, leaning closer to speak in a hushed whisper. Amaryllis saw, from the corner of her eye, a circle of people drawing closer around them. Cassandra stood at the forefront, armored arms somehow crossed over her chest plate, eyebrows etched permanently into an angry wrinkle upon her forehead. Leliana, Cullen, and Varric made up the rest of the group. "It is obvious you do not have the strength," Solas spoke with a confidence, a smugness, that had Amaryllis's lips pulling back into a sneer and her cheeks flushing with anger. "If you did, you would have healed her by now, and we would not be having this conversation."
Pride and an overly protective nature kept Amaryllis from giving in without furthering the argument. He's right though, she thought, that damn, egg-headed bastard. Still, she fought, her anger causing her to revert back to common. "I will take care of her. She is my sister."
Instead of rolling his eyes like she had expected him to, Solas pressed in closer, until his thighs touched hers. She could feel his hot breath upon her chin. "She is not your sister, and you are not Dalish, no matter the clothes you wear. You would do well to realize that."
Her mouth fell open in shock at the gall of his words, but before she could answer, Varric hurried close, his hands lifted in a placating manner. "I hate to put an end to such a riveting conversation, but some of us are feeling a bit antsy and would like some answers," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the others. "Also, don't know if you've noticed, kid, but you're looking mighty suspicious."
Suspicious? Frowning, Amaryllis thought for a moment. The weight of her sister in her arms seemed to be bringing her back to a reality she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to face. Fenedhis, he's right.
She looked towards the group once more, at Leliana and Cassandra, both looking as if they might burst through their skin at any moment, and felt herself begin to deflate. Let go of your pride. Her shoulders fell back, releasing a tension she hadn't realized she had been holding. She loosened her grip on Ellana, rolled her gently away from her chest, and sighed, feeling her weariness begin to set in.
"Alright," Amaryllis mumbled, pulling on hand out from below Ellana to push her sister's hair back from her pale face. She still looked to be sleeping, but her lips were no longer as blue, and there seemed to be a pink flush to her cheeks that hadn't been there before. The ice that had once filled Amaryllis's chest cracked; her heart began to beat again. She met Solas's gaze and said, not without effort, "You're right. I do not have the strength to help her now, so please—"
Jostled from their position against Ellana's chest, her arms fell to her sides, fingers uncurling from her palms, revealing a sudden, inexplicably bright beam of green-tinted light. It blinded them for a moment, sent everyone else stumbling back but had Amaryllis tightening her hold once more.
Ellana screamed. Amaryllis could feel Ellana's body tensing against her, could feel Ellana's heels digging into the meat of her thighs. A sudden screech sounded from above as the rift seemed to react to the light emanating from Ellana's shaking hand. Wisps of green flowed from her palm where the skin had peeled back from a crack in her flesh, not unlike the dried soil of a barren riverbed.
Amaryllis remembered suddenly, with astonishing clarity, the woman with the mark, dashing up the mountain path, taking out demons one by one until she reached the tear in the atmosphere, and opened her left hand towards the sky, pouring viridescent light into the rift until it exploded, closing in on itself. She choked on a sudden intake of icy air.
"Well," Varric broke the silence, sounding surprisingly out of character. His voice shook. "Shit."