Oh my god, did Mr Lally just give me the teacher glare?
I see Paris noticed that…and is obviously laughing…quite a similar reaction to several others in my class…Oh no, have I just earned myself a trademark name? Am I forever destined to bear the heavy burden of shame…along with Stinky Joe and Pizza boy over there at the back of class? What'll it be for me then? Sleepy? Lazy? The Dormouse?
Up is down and down is up…the distinction between right and wrong is all blurred and the planets must be in misalignment…because I've been thinking about sex in Algebra!
When I was with Dean it was never even on my mind…but now, with Jess…
The bell rang and Rory jumped, knocking her pencil case off the table. She sighed.
Paris started to help Rory pick up her things, "Dopey, I need to talk to you!" she exclaimed firmly.
Rory's POV
Dopey!
What happened to The Dormouse, that was kinda cute?
Dopey!
Rory rolled her eyes. "And I need to eat lunch, go to my next class, go home and then live the rest of my life…that's a pretty tight schedule and I'm not sure if I can squeeze you in…"
"Come on, it's important…"
"Then why don't we start this conversation again, in which you don't refer to me as probably the most degrading of the seven dwarves!"
"Well…I would but I mean seriously Rory, dozing off during Mr Lally's inspirational rant on quadratics…and then grunting with unintentionally perfect timing when the speech came to the long awaited conclusion of, "The day I don't take great pride in solving a good quadratic equation, I'll be bound if I don't see a pig fly!"
"Bye Paris…" Rory began to exit the classroom.
"Hey wait…it's…it's about sex!"
Rory stopped walking and raised her eyebrows.
Rory's POV
How the..?
What the..?
Does she…?
Can she…?
What is it with today anyway!
I mean god, is it 'National Lets Have Intense Nearly Sexual Encounters And Then Discuss Them Amongst Associates Day' or something!
Urgh…I feel so invaded…
"I need you to tell me what you think…"
Rory made some sort of noise, indicating her consent for Paris to continue.
"I slept with Jamie for the first time on the weekend."
Rory blinked, "Okay…when you say first time do you mean first time with Jamie or first time?"
"Um, both."
"Wow…er…I don't know what to say… I guess, why do you want my advice?"
" I don't want your advice, I just want to know what you think…there's a plain difference…and because you're more experienced than I am…""Whoa…hold it right there…what do you mean experienced?"
"You know…you and Dean were serious…and now you're with Jess, and lets face it he's not much of a beat around the bush sort of guy so…"
Rory's POV
Oh my god she's right!
Jess definitely isn't a beat around the bush sort of guy and is probably expecting me and him to…and soon…
But I'm not prepared…I haven't made any sort of pro-con list and anyway, I'm not even entirely sure that a list is appropriate for this sort of event…. I mean, isn't it meant to be passionate and spontaneous…?
There is nothing remotely passionate about, "pro – I've studied sexual intercourse in health class and con –I'm not sure what contraception to go for…"
"Actually Paris, I haven't had sex yet."
"You're serious?"
Rory nodded.
"Okay…I can understand that you and Dean never…because he was a nice, patient and slightly slow guy, and your first boyfriend…but Jess! It's already been what, a day!"
"Hey hey Paris, that's a bit extreme…he's not a nymphomaniac!"
"I know but…"
"Why do people think he's some sort of nasty villain? I mean, what gives you and every other living beingthat impression?"
" You want a list?"
Rory waited, before Paris continued.
"Troubled home life, mega bad boy image, despised by girlfriend's mother, scared off your last boyfriend, seen previously cavorting with nameless blonde hussy in back seat of car…"
"Stop! Firstly, Luke provides a very nurturing home to which Jess is eternally grateful for, he hardly ever wears his leather jacket, he's growing on my Mom totally, Dean was not 'scared off'…our relationship ended by mutual agreement, and as for the blonde hussy, well…she practically threw herself at him!"
" Well I hope you and your shrink are very happy, it must be comforting to live in denial."
Rory walked out.
"I hope you had fun, having sex !" Rory shouted back sarcastically.
"Thanks, I did actually!"
………………………………………………………………………………………………
"What is to become of this town!" Taylor cried hysterically as he tried to control the confused; some horrified but all completely diverted crowd that was gathered outside Luke's, all gazing up, startled, at something hanging from a tree…
"Holy mother of…" Lorelai gasped, half-shocked and half-amused as she held her hand to her mouth, suppressing a laugh. That is what I think it is right? And it is who's I think it is?
"Only in Stars Hollow…" Dean sighed. When he noticed Lorelai's face he added, "Do you know who it belongs to?"
"Oh, no!" Lorelai interrupted nervously.
"Taylor, for the love of god get this mob out of here!" Luke yelled angrily.
But Taylor replied smugly, "No Luke, I think that the honest, merry, do-gooder people of Stars Hollow have a right to know, why a tree, unmistakably close to your diner, has been violated in such a publicly outrageous way!"
"To hell with do-gooders, youjust want to make a scene that will put me out of business!"
"Luke, Luke, don't worry, be happy!" sang Babette. She leant close to Luke and whispered saucily, "So who is she?"
"Who?"
"The minx who owns that sexy little number and by the way you never told me you had a girlfriend…"
"Oh you think…Babette, that…thing…is nothing to do with me!"
"Oh?" She stated meaningfully. Luke sighed and briefly put his hand to his head, when a flash and the clicking of a camera made him jump.
"Kirk…what the hell do you think you're doing!"
"Photographic evidence," Kirk stated matter of factly, deadly earnest.
Luke looked at him witheringly, " Oh right, so remind me, are you Sherlock Holmes or the Nutty Professor?"
"Dude, you need to sort out your pop cultural references!" Lorelai mocked.
"Actually I was going for more of a Mulder…" Kirk added.
Luke ignored this, "Hand over the camera Scully."
"No." Kirk dodged Luke and hid behind Taylor.
"This is a very serious matter, and photographic evidence will be a most valuable resource for the emergency town meeting…so snap away Kirk!" Taylor exclaimed.
"No, no, no, you're making a way big deal out of this!" Piped in Lorelai. She turned to Luke pleadingly, "Look, I know who it belongs to…and she'll be very embarrassed and she doesn't need any more embarrassment today…and I have absolutely noooo idea how it got there…"
"Jess," Luke interrupted.
"Huh?"
"Remember this morning…he ran out of your house and I went after him…he was holding it and then he hid it…out of a window, the complete idiot!"
"I should have known…wow, I am the luckiest mother alive…because my daughter is dating an underwear stealer!" Lorelai sighed.
"It's a dream come true isn't it?" Luke snorted.
"Hey, hey, hey Sir, put that down!" Taylor yelled at a man who had picked up a stick and was trying to yank the bra off. "Kirk hasn't finished gathering evidence yet."
"This is pathetic!" Luke yelled.
"This is verging on insanity…" Dean agreed.
"It is completely insane!" Lorelai cried.
"All three of you will go on my list of suspects if you don't remain silent and co-operate!" Taylor reprimanded.
"What! It's not like there's been a murder…" laughed Babette.
"That is yet to be seen," Kirk put in, while he paused to change film.
Just then Jess opened his window and called outside to the crowd irritably, "Can we keep the noise down to a minimal please… I mean, what the hell are you lot doing?"
Taylor pointed, "Suspect number 4."
A bird landed on the tree, very close to the bra and the entire crowd started cheering and clapping. Taylor blew a whistle, silencing them impatiently.
"What is this, happy hour?" Jess cried out, confused.
"Sure is baby!" Babette called up to him, winking.
Luke shook his head at Jess, despairingly, motioning to the tree.
Lorelai felt a tap on her shoulder, and she turned around.
"Hi mom, what's going on?"
"Hey babe!" Lorelai replied hastily, "I feel like take out tonight, so lets go on home…"
"Come on, why is everyone crowding around Luke's…there's not usually a crazy Monday night rush?"
"Um…well, he's serving in a skirt today hon…"
"What kind of skirt?"
"It's violet…frilly…sequins…you know, the usual…"
Rory ignored her and followed the crowd's gaze up to the window.
She saw Jess.
Jess' POV
What the hell is Luke trying to tell me?
Something to do with the tree…
This morning…the tree…Oh shit!
Jess lunged forwards and reached for the bra.
"HEY!" Taylor shouted. "What do you think you're doing, young man?"
Kirk's camera could be heard clicking furiously.
Rory's POV
Oh my god, that looks strangely familiar…..
Why is Jess…?
What is my bra doing there in the first place…?
Jess is a bra thief!
Jess had the bra, but the sight of Rory made him freeze.
She looked cross and his face changed to a look of complete shocked helplessness
But then, Rory smiled and started laughing to herself.
"Put it back this instant!" Taylor commanded.
"Back off, It's mine!" Jess shouted.
The crowd simultaneously sighed and mumbled several versions of, "Oh right!" "That makes sense." "Of course it's his…" "Why didn't I realise sooner?" "He always was one to keep an eye on…" "He's been like this ever since he came to Stars Hollow…" "Poor Luke, having to deal with a wild child…"
The crowd slowly dispersed.
Jess closed the window, reluctant to leave Rory but prepared for Luke's over-the-top yelling session that awaited him.
Luke looked apologetically at Lorelai, and then embarrassed, at Rory before he tunred to go give Jess hell.
Lorelai gazed nostalgically at Rory, who was still smiling as they turned to walk home.
"Mom…"
"Rory…"
They both started at the same time.
"I know hon." Lorelai hugged Rory protectively.
"What?" Rory asked simply, knowing the answer she was going to receive…because she knew, that Lorelai knew…
"He's the one." Lorelai stated mildly, with only a slightly noticeable sense of tension and uncertainty.
A/N – I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry I haven't updated in AGES, please review!