A/N: before you read or if you read, there are some spoilers, and if you havn't finished the game not all of the spoilers are exactly true, a bit exagerastion here and there. R&R please and

enjoy. . .

Tifa and Cloud

Tifa was inside the secret underground base of the bar with Cloud and Cloud only (Yuffie had gone to start the band).

"So Cloud, before we start our search, let's talk about us." She said in a deep voice leaning over him.

"T-Tifa? What about us?" sweat dropped down his face, "confess your loooooove!" her face came closer to his.

"What love? Do I confess it to Aeries?"

"NO! To me! You liked me since we were little."

"Yea, but, you had a restraining order against me and I couldn't come in your house, you also had your gang beat me up and blamed me for your coma."

"But I was EIGHT!" Tifa got off of him and crossed her arms, "I said this before: that was in the past! Why won't you love me!"

Cloud brushed himself, "I now like Aeries, and I made it clear to you when you caught us dancing around naked."

"Maybe this will change you're mind."

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Barret and Vincent had come in to meet them down in there after disappointedly finding no beer truck outside.

"So what's the most damn outrageous thing you've ever seen, niga?"

Barret asked Vincent, bored, ". . . a thong?"

"Whose thong?" Barret asked wide eyed

"My thong."

". . .I'm not even gonna ask."

"I'm just yanking your yarn."

" you mean chain."

"whatever."

By this time, they had made it inside the secret underground base and what they saw was not only the most outrageous the thing they had ever seen, but it was far more worth watching to them guys than a thong. Vincent opened his mouth but no words came, he decided to cover his eyes, then burn them later. Barret stared and started shouting godly swears which is very bad especially for Barret who is very religious. "HOLY FRIGGIN SHIT! MOTHER OF GOOD GOD! JESUS CHRIST, WOMAN, COVER THAT HELL OF YOURS UP!"

Did you guess it? If you haven't, well, Tifa, to impress Cloud of course, had pulled off her disturbingly small tank top, nobody imagine this, okay: D

All of this made Cloud uneasy, he had to get away or at least get Tifa to put it back on, this to him was none the less horrifying.

"Tifa, are you there?" Cloud didn't dare to look her way; "I love you" he lied.

"Huh? Y-you don't know how great this feels; you finally confessed your love to me!" She sheds a tear which now gives everyone some uneasiness.

Cloud now faints as she comes to hug him.

Barret looks in horror, "this all was too much for the poor foo'."

"Is it over? Please, let me die!" Vincent cried bunched up into a ball in a corner.

Barret thinks quickly and throws bundles and bundles of cloth over Tifa, now all you could see was cloths pressed against her body.

"Daddy," came a soft innocent voice, "daddy?"

'shit' Barret thought fast and tried hiding Tifa inside a closet.

"Daddy, why is uncy Cloud dead, and why is unca vinni pointing a badass son on his head?"

badass son meaning gun, Marlene must have heard Barret use that word many a times when buying himself a new gun-arm, and unca and unci is basically 'uncle'.

struggling to hide Tifa's nude, Barret managed to look over at the pondering little girl, "Cloud isn't dead, princess, he's sleeping. And were did you hear that word, young lady!"

"But his arm is bent and he's having trouble breathing. . ."

Finally pushing Tifa in, locking the door, and throwing away the key, Barret leads Marlene back up the stairs and pats her on the head a couple of times, " Princess, when you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from uncy Cloud and unca Vinni."

"But daddy"

"Oh, you must be hungry."

He hands her some gum and the poor girl leaves

"And save half of that for supper. And if you're thirsty, help yourself to some sewer water! But absolutely no beer! And if you need a midnight snack, get the fudge bar I left you from our unlimited stash! But only and I mean only for a midnight snack, which is after 12:00!"

She sighed as she left and turned the corner. Aeries and Red suddenly appear and they are dragging Cid with them.

"Where was he?" Barret asked scratching the back of his head.

"He had flipped over the counter and was helping himself to some beer, he needs some help, his condition isn't good. . ."

Aeries looks down at him, he was completely drunk and he kept drinking at this second while at the same time lighting up a cigarette.

"throw the foo' down the stairs, that'll nock some sense into him."

Aeries leaves dragging Cid behind her, Red looked at Barret as if what to do next

"Um, you, go in and put this on Tifa." Barret hands him one of his tank tops.

"But won't she mind, I mean, it's sweaty and gross, and I can't even touch it let alone hold it my mouth to give to her AND try and actually put it on her!"

"It's very important that you do this!" Barret shoves it in Red's mouth, "You'll know when you get there, now go!" Red just growls and heads for Tifa. The man wipes sweat from his forehead, all this ordering around made him tired, time for some beer. As he leaves Red spits out the disgusting tank top, "Why am I the one to do this! Hhhm, better stick this job to someone else, I need some beer." He then sees Marlene and asks her the same thing Barret asked him, but in different words to make the girl understand, "Sure I'll tell Tifa to put on this Cloud-attracting Tank top and then give you a massage!" she cheerfully agreed after being promised candy. She skipped away as Red chuckled and headed for the fridge, there he found an awfully strange beer can, he pressed a button thinking it would unleash beer but, instead, it shot ten bullets in the air, this had been the magnificent discovery the weapon/gun-arm that could belong to only one person.

A/N:I hope this one was a little better than the last one, pease, please, oh please review.I need to know your opinion on this stuff! well,thankyou to anyone who actually felt in a good mood and read this and enjoyed it

: D