BEER
Well, as you know, the bullets were launched and jammed in the ceiling.
"SHIT!" Red yelled in awe staring at them blankly, soon, beer came pouring down from the bullets.
"Freaky..." his eyes opened wide and there was only one thing left to do! Drink!
. . . Over at were Barret was. . .
"My alcoholic sense is tingling," he whispered twitching his nose, "Is that I smell sweet, sweet, addictive alcohol?" Barret got up and sniffed the air a couple of times, then the TV, and then his armpit.
"It's definitely not me and I'm not watching a beer commercial either. . ." he sniffed around a bit. Vincent had arrived breathless and sweating. And it was not because he had to piggy-back ride the fainted Cloud away from the monstrosity which is known as Tifa in his opinion.
Barret sniffed him, "I sense fear in you," he predicted.
"Oh, how right you are, Barret." He stated leaning on Barret all the while dropping Cloud directly on the floor, which banged him up pretty badly; in return, his consciousness came back.
"What is going on?" he asked scratching his head, "did we kill her yet?"
"Hmm" that gave Vincent an idea, but no time to ponder that now.
"Barret, it is only right that you know Marlene is down there! With this god-awful tank top that. . ." thinking of it made him nauseous, "excuse me." Vincent left to puke out his insides. Barret was furious, "What is Marlene doing down there?"
"Don't worry, Barret. You threw away the key, right?" Cloud asked, comforting Barret
"Oh yea, hey, how do you know that?"
"Well," he began, "someone had thrown some keys on me, and last thing I remember is Tifa being locked up and. . ." He reaches deep down in his pocket for the keys, but to no avail.
"Uh, Barret, would you believe that. . ." Barret looked furiously at him, "that . . . uh, you have the keys. . ."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! $$$#&#$$u."
Barret had said so many curses and swears simultaneously that it bunched up as one huge word that no one will ever comprehend in a million years.
Cloud looked at him dazzled by his creative vocabulary, "um, why don't I check on Marlene." He offered.
"Hmm, was Red there by any chance?" Barret asked; either Red listened to his instructions and did it in record time, or he got Marlene to do it.
"You go get Marlene, I'll have a chat with Red." he said looking responsible and not yelling like a psychopath.
He's quiet, this isn't good . . . Cloud thought. He headed for the secret underground lair and listened in on Barret's conversation, this is what he heard before getting out of earshot.
. . . YOU F&ING MORON! HOW COULD YOU EXPOSE HER VIRGIN EYES!. . . .
"God be with you, Red, I hope he survives."
. . . . Marlene's encounter with Tifa . . .
"Lalalalalalalalal gonna get me some sweets and cavaaatiiies!" she sang cheerfully as she skipped around the lair.
"Marlene! HELP ME!" Tifa banged around in the closet.
"Tifa!" Marlene called, "I got a tank top for you!"
"Open this door, Marlene!"
Marlene fidgeted with the knob, it refused to turn, "it's locked!"
"Look for keys, I heard Barret throw them, then I believe they landed in someone's mouth." Tifa explained as Marlene scanned the room.
"Oh! There!" luckily, there had been keys on the floor and Marlene picked them up and fit them perfectly through the keyhole.
"Tifa." she said, gently opening the door. Tifa had known better than to face the girl forward. Marlene thought a while, "Red said that is crucial I cover my eyes at this point," she then covered her eyes and held the revolting tank top in front of Tifa.
In a matter of time, Tifa had the top on and her cleavage takes up so much space that the Barret's top fit her as well as her old one, but what happened to her old one?
BOOM
Cloud barges in tripping over his one feet, "Marlene, don't look!" he yelled sacking the girl with a potato sack.
"Tifa?" he looked at her for once in his life relieved, also dropping the sack on the ground
"Ow!" Marlene squeaked, popping her head out, "daaaaady!" she cried.
What seemed like stray bullets shot right above Clouds head and barely missed Tifa.
"I'm here, baby!" came Barret's rough voice.
"Yippee!" Marlene flew into his arms and hugged him.
"Guess what everybody!" Barret screamed waving his beer gun arm everywhere. No one answered, but the silence was broken after the stray bullets launched in the wall exploded into beer.
"Your gun arm!" Cloud finally said spilling beer into his mouth.
"Hey, what happened to Red?" Tifa asked pointing to Red's eye
"Oh, he's just blind." Barret said helping himself to some beer.
Red started his explanation, "as you all know, my one eye has a scar on it, therefore, I cannot open it, now Barret punched me in my other eye and it is swollen, so, I cannot see a thing."
"Red," Marlene said, "I hope you know you're talking to a wall."
He only sighed.
Well, everyone was happy, but . . . half of the gang isn't even there? What's going on?
it's been so long since i've updated! this chapter was a quick one! R&R!