Lena, for the first time in her life, had impulsively spent a lot of money. She had made her purchase, and about four hours later she called Tibby, Carmen, and Bee of her plans. And then, she left.
It was the first time she had done this. It was like a growth spurt, she assumed. It would go away in a little bit. That didn't explain her excitement as she boarded the plane. It didn't explain why she didn't feel guilty. It didn't explain why she hadn't told Paul her plans.
She didn't pack much, just some pretty skirts and tops. She didn't want to take here to there. That would mean Lena would be going. She didn't feel like Lena.
The world was rushing past her so quickly, she realized. The moon was shining as she hurried up the path. And then she was at her grandmother's front door, and her grandmother was showing her the same room, untouched since her family was here for Bapi's funeral. Lena was wearing his shoes, and felt like she had walked into his memory.
They had never spoken. She knew what she would have said now.
"Bapi," Lena's words felt inappropriate, like they were harsh and grating, destroying the simple melody of silence.
"Bapi, I have come back. Oh Bapi, I don't know what to say. You would understand if you were here, I think. You would know why I came. I don't know what to do, Bapi."
Lena sat down on the edge of the bed. She knew her grandmother would not call her mother, not after that fight they had last year over Effie.
She felt exhausted. Had she ever been this tired before? All of the determination that had boiled up in her to get to this point was seeping away, leaving her empty.
Tibby, come here and hold me. Carma, come here and understand me. Bee, come here and help me do something.
It was so hot. She pulled off her khakis and her top.
It was Greece, damnit. She liked how that sounded in her head. Like she was tough or something.
If the Pants had been with her, she would have worn them. Not for luck, but to feel that reassurance that she was loved, that the Pants would keep her safe and not lead her astray. Instead she wore a white skirt and a pink top.
She managed to stumble out of the window (when had she become so inflexible?) and managed to get down to the ground. And with that, she hurried to the Grove.
She turned the diamond on her ring so that it faced her, not out.