A/N: I had to spend some time sorting these drabbles out into sections in season order which was such a pisstake. But hey! Now I don't need to have a hundred tabs open at the same time whenever I wanna reach for a prompt to edit and post! Anyways, this chapter is more self-indulgent rather than trying to snatch comments and kudos out of you gremlins because I need a pick-me-up right now and this AU is just the thing for me.

Though, your interactions will always be as rewarding ;)))

Without wasting any more time, let's gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

"Long as I'm where you're going to
I'd wait forever and a day for you
I'd wait up, wait up for you"

Everybody In Love - JLS

Tumblr Asks

'In Evillustrator, how would Dark Adrien AND kiss AU Adrien react to Nathaniel's crush on Marinette and his consequent invitation to a party for 2?'

'About the kiss AU...How Marinette reacted to CopyCat? And what about Volpina? How Adrien reacted to the lies of Lila?'

~(x)~

.

.

.

'Le Dessinateur'

.

At first, Adrien didn't care too much that Nathaniel was crushing on his Marinette; after all, who wouldn't?

She's just so amazing, absolutely wonderful, jaw-droppingly pretty and doubtlessly smart! Probably the most kindest girl you'd ever meet save for Mademoiselle. Rose Lavalliant (whom the school conspiracy theorist club have deduced is an incarnation of a literal angel). Despite all of that, the drawings Nathaniel did of his supposed 'hero' persona with Marinette in his arms slightly set his teeth off the edge.

Just like the episode, Chloé humiliates Nathaniel and thus causes him to get akumatised into Le Dessinateur which then lead him to pay a quick visit to Marinette to deliver his birthday invitation.

When Marinette nonchalantly suggested that she acts as bait to lure Le Dessinateur out by going on a date with him, Adrien was unquestionably pissed. First, she was putting herself in unnecessary danger, second, HER FIRST DATE IS WITH A VILLAIN OF ALL THINGS!? And one who's completely smitten with her, no less!?

What if he makes a move on her!?

They argue over this, both terribly stubborn with their stances and their poor kwamis sweatdropping in the background as their holders squabble like an old married couple.

"I can take care of myself! You know that! Quit being a worrywart!"

"Oh, I know that very well! I just don't trust the akuma- who knows what else he can do with those weird powers of his!"

"He promised that he wouldn't hurt anyone-"

"Since when do we listen to akumas!?"

"Ugh! You are so STUBBORN-"

"Hey kettle, I'm pot!"

Much to Adrien's dismay, Marinette's plan made more and more sense and was the most effective compared to the measly backup plans he tried to counter back with. With both Plagg and Tikki taking the girl's side, Dupain-Cheng flashed a triumphant smirk at him. Our boy is pretty much left brooding throughout the rest of the day.

Regardless of his biased feelings, Adrien trusts Marinette completely so he follows through with the plan after throwing his mopey emotions out of the way. In order to make this work, Marinette will have to swiftly detransform after they kiss and head to the destination the akuma requested her to come whilst Chat Noir tailed the date in the shadows (This is during the early days of their partnership so they're still limited to kissing to transform).

The kiss this time was the best one that Adrien has given Marinette to date. His green jealousy and overprotectiveness brought out the hidden, dominating energy from him, his firm arms squeezing Marinette tight into his chest as their lips slanted against one another, trying to convey just how much he really adores her and how he wanted to be the first to take her out on a date instead.

Fingernails transformed into gloved claws which instantly combed through Ladybug's hair, dishevelling the neat ponytails in a scandalous manner. Canines sharpened into fangs which mercilessly nipped His Lady's plump lips so that she could gasp out loud and give him an opening for his tongue to slip through. Chat Noir was awfully greedy and still extremely bothered with the akuma situation.

He made sure to express his very thoughts through the heated, hormone riddled kiss.

Bodies pressed closer and closer.

Lips bruised harder and harder.

Heat transferred between them faster and faster.

When he finally pulled away, jaw aching from the most hottest make out ever and mouth tingling from his princesse's flavour, he noticed how the heroine was stuck in a dazed manner.

Satisfaction has never been sweeter.

When she detransforms (after snapping out of her lustful stupor, courtesy on the damn cat's smug snickers), Chat points out that this is the 'first' time that he and her civilian identity were in the same vicinity. He confidently allows his fingers to run through her ponytails as he spoke with a fanged grin, making her heart pretty much explode and internally curse him further for being so sexy.

Just before he lets her go to the dreaded date, Marinette surprisingly pulls Chat Noir in for a swift hug, pecks his cheek soundly and then runs off so that he doesn't see her reddening blush which only glowed brighter. If she looked back, she would have noticed that he wore a matching colour.

As per canon, the plan failed and the date fell apart and Le Dessinateur goes off to find Chloé, leaving Chat to save Marinette and the duo escapes the glass box they were trapped under (Thanks to Marinette concocting up a quick plan). Though, she catches the hero angrily muttering about "how ungentlemanly" the redhead was being, how one shouldn't "ditch their date" and how he'd do "a much better job" and that his "ideas of a first date with Mari is so much better".

"Ah, Minou, that's not my first date,"

"W-What!?"

"I...I kind of considered that day you took me out for ice cream after your first day of school here as my first..."

Of course, with an elation that couldn't be described through mere words, Noir brought her in for a sickeningly, sugary sweet kiss, full of unadulterated warmth, undying love and all sorts of emotions that could give those who are reading this: diabetes.

This was the second time that he left poor Ladybug in a thoroughly kissed, drooling state which then took at least a couple of minutes to snap her out of.

And of course, Chat managed to do that by delivering another kiss.

The battle against the akuma goes on just like canon, but they drop Nathaniel off at his home towards the end who was apologising profusely and begged for them to let Marinette know that he never meant to hurt her and that he was sorry that his villainised self left her on a sinking boat with no way out (Chat accidentally let that slip and immediately felt bad). The power couple were quick to reassure him that no, Marinette wasn't angry nor creeped out by him nor was she hurt throughout the event and that everything will be fine.

The next day, at le collège, Nathaniel is shocked by the abundance of sweets and presents on his desk from not only Mari and Adrien but from the rest of the class as well (sans Chloé) as a belated birthday gift.

The boy is was outstandingly embarrassed, face matching his hair but was just as ecstatic and touched by his classmates' gestures. Not even the mayor's daughter's scathing remarks were enough to budge him off his high.

.

'L'Imposteur'

.

Marinette does indeed send an embarrassing voicemail to Adrien's phone, attempting to ask him out whilst simultaneously confessing her feelings. In her overthinking spiral of doom, ignoring Alya's advice in leaving it alone, the designer snuck into the boy's changing room in order to attempt 'borrowing' the model's phone so that she could delete the message.

But...

Adrien catches her in the act.

"Ma Princesse? Qu'est-ce que tu fais...porquoi...erm- is that my phone?"

"...M-M-Maybe...?"

"...Great...? Is there a reason why you snuck in to take it? Not that I mind you going through my stuff but I'd rather delete my browser history before you can peek. There might be a few embarrassing stuff in there."

"Not as embarrassing as the voicemail I accidentally sent you..."

"Voicemail?"

"I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! VOICEMAIL? HAH! WHAT'S A VOICEMAIL HAHAHA-"

"Ma-ri-nette~ pass me my phone,"

"..."

"Mari?"

"..."

"Marinette?"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME ALIVE!"

"Eh!? Why are you running? HEY! COME BACK! WE HAVE AN UNVEILING TO GO TO! MY LADYYYYYYYY!"

So!

To summarise, idiot one and idiot two were too busy in their cat and mouse game, both failing to attend the unveiling on time. Théo in his blind rage blames Chat Noir, thinking he's the one who's held them both up.

Everyone in Paris is aware of the heroes' claims of being thousands of years old and married so Théo's interpretation of the duo being busy might have been a tad bit exaggerated.

.

He thought they were fucking.

Literally fucking.

.

Hence, L'imposteur was born.

When Marinette first sees him stealing the Mona Lisa from the Louvre and everyone dubbing her partner as a villain now, she simply rolled her eyes and laughed. She imagined that Adrien would have a million quips of how much of a terrible replica or actor the akuma was and how much better the real deal is. (Marinette's managed to temporarily lose him off her trail, hurryingly trying to delete the voicemail like in canon. Meanwhile, he's still looking for her on the other side of the arrondissement).

"Ughhh...no fair. She's way too fast and nimble! What on earth did she send in the voicemail for her to act this way, Plagg?!"

"I dunno kid. Don't you know her best?"

"Looks like I don't know enough with the way she continues to surprise me on a daily basis...I so should've snuck a kiss when I had her pinned in that alleyway. That way, as Chat, I could've easily gotten to her."

"Ahahahaha! Maybe if she was in her civilian attire! Have you forgotten that she'd change as Ladybug too?"

"...Shit. She would have been impossible to catch!"

When they finally purified the akuma and found out that they were the reason for his irate, the duo was quick to apologise. Ladybug makes it clear that it was her fault entirely that they were late, even giving her partner a stinkeye when he agreed bluntly. Théo gets a bit excited, causing an irritated Chat to announce their departure swiftly, hating the idolising look in the artist's eyes.

"What a creep...you're only thirteen and he's ogling at you like some sort of steak. Can I knock him off the roof or something? I promise I won't kill him."

"Don't be so hostile! The whole city thinks we're thousands of years old so-"

"Never justify old guys looking at you like that, LB. Regardless of what they think. It doesn't make it any less gross. Besides, common etiquette involves not staring at someone else's wife like THAT."

"O-Oh...as glad as I am of your way of thinking, Chaton, he's only two years older than us."

"HUH!?"

Ladybug feels her love for her partner grow immensely whilst his brain ceased to function at the new set of information he received, making the girl giggle by his side. Though, the day wasn't over just yet...

"So, why did you steal my phone?"

"What do you mean~? It's in your bag."

"WHAT- how!? How did you pull that off!? You were right here with me this whole time!"

"Heeeeee~"

"And what about that voicemail!?"

"What voicemail~?"

"My Ladyyyyyyyy...so unfair..."

.

.

.

~(x)~

A/N: YOUR COMMENTS. GIVE ME THEM. GIVE ME. I CRAVE FOR THEM. GIVE. G I V E. I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE. FEED ME DAMMIT. FEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.