A/N: Lmao I didn't expect anyone to be freaked out by the cursed emoji I embedded in the last chapter but here we are HAHAHHAHAAHHAAHAH! But yea, as a fellow friend has just mentioned, I'm on a rampage with these updates. Glaciator 2.0 really did fill me up with marichat energy.

Also, some of you have mentioned if the rest of this AU updates is going to be just snippets. The answer is: No. I've got a handful that is a full-fledged fic-like drabble so look forward to that~

Regardless, this snippet is the long-awaited Le Dislocœur! It's a bit longer compared to the other snippets but I hope you lads enjoy it UwU It was one of the most fun ones to write in this AU.

"I don't wanna play no games, play no games (oh)
Fuck around, give you my last name (my last name)
Know you tired of the same damn thing (same damn thing)"

No Guidance - Chris Brown ft. Drake

(A/N: Lmao I really dislike these two singers but dammit why's the song so good? ;-;)

Tumblr Ask

'Dark Cupid in Kiss AU?'

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The day starts off with the local, idiotic duo bringing in tons and tons of gifts for each other (more like a contest on who can outdo the other here). Marinette comes into class with a huge, gorgeous bouquet in her hands (flowers that she has grown herself), boxes of her lover's favourite patisseries that she made at la boulangerie and a homemade, super-soft Ladybug teddy that could fit in the palm of one's hand.

She's wearing a really pretty outfit in Chat Noir's colours too and went full out with her hair and makeup, incorporating the hero's iconic black and neon green palette throughout.

Adrien on the other hand tried to act like an anime ikemen (clearly using Tamaki Suoh as a reference), leaning against the classroom's doorway with a rose in his mouth, dressed elegantly in Ladybug's colours. He clicks his fingers and Gorilla comes in with many, many bouquets of freshly picked red roses, exquisite chocolate truffles, a large Chat-Noir teddy he attempted to make by hand (nowhere near as well done as Marinette's handiwork but dammit were the pinpricks and sleepless nights worth it for Adrien) and THE poem.

He doesn't get a chance to read it out loud unfortunately because Chloé storms into class, ruining everything. ;A;

"Eugh! What is going on here!? Oooh, Adrichou~? Is all of this for moi? I am so flattered-"

"Did you just cockblock my moment to finally confess to my Marinette?" Adrien tiredly interrupts Chloé without mercy and raised an eyebrow in annoyance much to the mayor's daughter's disappointment. Everyone else in the class stifled their snickers, eagerly waiting to see the model tear apart the brat. "I was so close to having her swoon, fall into my arms and let me carry her off to the sunset but no-ooooo. Thanks a lot." The boy grumbled, his three days of planning the perfect confession gone to waste.

He shoved the poem in his pocket and sank into his seat with a scowl, ignoring his childhood 'best friend's' protests. Thankfully, his beloved partner was quick to bring back his cheery mood.

"Maybe I'll be the one doing the carrying once I finish delivering my gifts to you, Barbie doll," Marinette winked at her Chaton whilst handing out delicious friendship sweets to the rest of her classmates. Chloé was pretty much non-existent to the duo as the battle of the banter was on.

"Barbie doll? That's a new one. And what's this about more gifts? Did you have them planned beforehand or after seeing how much I brought in just for you?" Adrien smirked victoriously when Marinette stiffened at his words. She cleared her throat, trying her best to not blush at getting caught and then leaned against the boy's desk with a grin.

"You're not going to outdo me in this one, Agreste. Once I'm done with you, you're going to be stuck in cloud nine for a week. It is one-hundred percent guaranteed."

"Bold of you to assume that I haven't planned more for this day for you, Dupain-Cheng. You'll be begging me to make you a Madame. Agreste at the end of the day."

"I think Adrien Dupain-Cheng has a much nicer ring to it than Marinette Agreste."

"Bu-uuuuuut~" The devious cat struck instantaneously, whipping his arms out and grabbing the girl into his lap, nuzzling his cheeks against hers with a lovesick smile. Marinette's protests and struggles were ignored as he continued. "If you don't take my last name, how will the whole world know that you're forever mine? Thought we had an 'I'm yours and you're mine' policy? Hmm?"

Madame. Bustier comes in right afterwards, chastising Adrien and Marinette for the 'PDA' fondly and also sharing the whole class' internal pain. How are they NOT dating!?

Flirty, outrageous pickup lines and impish teases were shared between Mari and Adrien, making Chloé seethe in bloody anger, Kim lack more and more confidence in his own confession and the rest of the school stuck between 'awwing' or screaming at the two idiots for their indescribable obliviousness.

Marinette sneakily (robs) borrows Adrien's poem since she was really curious about what he's written. Much to Tikki's dismay and exasperation, she doesn't realise that it's a full-hearted, genuine confession.

"Aww, Tikki...this is so romantic!"

"Oooh~ I didn't know Adrien could be so poetic,"

"D-D-Do you think...that..."

"That...?"

"That he might be..."

"Yes?"

"Trying to make me blush like a tomato as revenge for when I french kissed him last time just to make his brain explode?"

"...sigh."

She writes the response poem anyways and tried her best to pour in as much of her genuine feelings and love as possible. Her gift for him is an actual confession which she's hoping would turn out alright in the end.

Poor Tikki is slamming her tiny head against the wall, unable to comprehend this nonsense anymore.

Before Marinette could hand the poem to Adrien, Kim runs into them, begging for advice in confessing because they're his best bet. Ignorant to the object of Kim's affections, Adrien and Marinette eagerly cheer him on and encourage the boy to go for it.

As per canon, Chloé horribly rejects Kim and humiliates him, sending the picture to everyone she knows. Marinette's and Adrien's second attempt at confessing gets interrupted by the nasty message- they both really wanted to throttle Chloé at that moment. They had no choice but to fight the potential akuma that Kim was about to transform into so they of course had to hide somewhere secluded and kiss.

"I have a little bet to purr-pose, My Lady," Adrien spoke with a wild, shit-eating grin, his hands on her elbows as he pushed her back against the brick wall.

"Oh? Go on~" Marinette retorted in the same tone, leaning into his face for good measures so that their lips were only a simple breath away.

"First person to pull away from the kiss has to take the other person's last name." Both of their hearts skipped a beat too many but the rush of adrenaline that roared through their blood helped them keep their external cool.

"You're on!"

Their lips crashed into each other in a flurry of unrivalled passion, unflinching to the miraculous' power coating them into their armour and masks. Ladybug's hands went from clutching Chat's broad shoulders to tugging the back of his shorter locks so that he had no choice but to lift his head up, up, up-

The sneaky plan was thrown out the window as soon as her wrists were grabbed by his fingers, pinned against the wall on each side of her head. The sharp, warning exhale Chat Noir let out through his nose almost made Ladybug's knees buckle. He clearly wasn't happy with her dirty move. If it weren't for the bet, he'd have delivered a snarky line or have bitten her neck as revenge.

Soon, they began to slowly lose steam. Their lips were completely bruised and swollen, their tongues aching yet still fighting stubbornly and their jaws sore. The kiss took on a romantic turn as lips began meeting lips again, warmth soaring through their bodies enticingly from head to toe and the scent of each other overpowered their senses.

Yet, they persisted.

Ladybug finally freed her hands out of Noir's grasps, immediately wrapping her strong arms around his neck so that she had better leverage to tilt her head ever so slightly; just the way he adores it, indicated from the soft sigh her partner let out of his throat.

Her eyes flickered open lightly, the girl not the least bit surprised when he followed suit. Both glared in anticipation whilst their lips carried on their delightful dance. The hot squeeze that Chat delivered to Ladybug's side caused her eyes to flutter shut again and focus on the kiss, his naughty hand continuing to lower until it reached her hip and fired warmth into the pit of her stomach.

Suddenly, the distant shouting in the city grew louder and the sound of Le Dislocœur's evil cackles filled the sky.

As a result, Ladybug pulled away with a raspy gasp, panting whilst her eyes darted around to see what's been going on in the arrondissement whilst they were...preoccupied.

The sound of a cocky snigger stole back her attention and it was then that she realised what she's just done.

"Looks like I've won, Marinette Agreste," Despite his flushed complexion, despite his swollen lips, DESPITE his glazed eyes, he looked so hot and sexy at this moment and Ladybug DESPISED it.

Stupid models and their unfair beauty!

"N-NOW YOU SEE HERE- Erm- eh- AGH- mmph!" Chat silenced her stammers with a honeyed kiss, grazing his fangs against the supple flesh and tracing the seams of her mouth with his tongue before pulling away with a huge smile and vaulting away towards the akuma.

"See you later Wifey~!" Chat guffawed in the distance, deaf to Ladybug's frivolous curses and mutters. She was so going to get him back after this.

The fight pretty much goes similarly to canon, however, when Ladybug realises what she needs to do to break Chat Noir out of his spell, she smiles oh-so sinisterly, now has the chance to get her revenge.

Chat Noir couldn't help but pull away with a "Huh?", snapping out of his clouded daze and observing the new surroundings. How did he get here? Why was he straddling his Lady? What happened?

"Heh, Joyeuse saint Valentin," Ladybug leaned up, elbows supporting her weight. "Adrien Dupain-Cheng," She whispered seductively, making sure that he understood the context. The poor boy didn't even get the chance to blink as he was flung towards the akuma.

Le Dislocœur is purified, everyone's back to normal and Kim realises how much of a mistake it was to even entertain the idea of Mademoiselle. Bourgeois being girlfriend material. Rather than their usual "Pound It!" signature move, Ladybug pulls Chat into a hot kiss, not giving a damn about the pictures being taken around them. Pulling away, she wishes him another "Joyeuse saint Valentin!", patting his rouge cheek and then swinging away.

Chat Noir couldn't help but melt into a useless, flustered goop on the floor, face red beyond comprehension and cute whines escaping his throat.

"I'm confused. Did she promise to bang you tonight or something? Even so, you guys are like thousands of years old, how does she still turn you into THAT?"

Kim's questions went through one ear and out the other as Chat's mind combusted from the idea of pure intimacy with his Lady. He could have sworn that his nose bled too!

Towards the end, Marinette snuck her poem in Adrien's bag rather than giving it upfront. She was still very nervous about the whole confession idea despite all the snogging they did. Though, she didn't leave the school unscathed; Adrien managed to catch up to her in no time and whispered into her ear that they have patrol tonight- or in this case, more kissing and messing around. She agrees of course with faux confidence.

When Adrien manages to get home and find the poem in his bag (WHICH IS ACTUALLY SIGNED THANK YOU), his heart almost exploded in his chest from elation. He was so damn happy, swooning against the window, hugging the letter and babbling to Plagg like the lovesick kitten he is.

"Does this mean what I think it means?"

"I dunno kid, you tell me."

"Eeek! Maybe I have a chance?"

"The millions of kisses, flirty lines and literal declarations of marriage didn't clue you in?"

"Hnnn~ I wish she was mine already!"

"I GIVE UP."

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~(x)~

A/N: You know how it goes fellas.

Gimme your comments :D