Beth!" sobbed Kira. "Ken did it, he actually did it! Oh god no!"

Beth just held the phone silently in her hand. The tears began to poor down her face, one after another they just wouldn't stop. Beth ran out the door. She ran and ran and ran. He's gone. She had no idea what to do. She ran till she could move no more and collapsed on the ground in a pile. Her head spun.

She got up and ran to Kira's house.

The fell into each others arms and just screamed silently. Kira handed beth a hand written note from Ken.

It may or may not trouble you to know that my death can be partially attributed to my love for you. After all, it has caused me more pain than the bullet rushing through my skull once this is finished to know that no matter how much I love you, I will never have you. However, do not blame yourself for this. We cannot choose who we do and do not love...

But don't let my death get in the way of your life. Live on, as nothing gave me any greater joy than to see you happy. I guess that's how I first distinguished what I felt as love. Please, stay happy, despite the fact that I am no longer there to enjoy it.

You can never know how much it hurt to look into your eyes and not see the love I felt reflected in them. Maybe this did take up a bigger piece of the reason for my death than I originally though. I don't know. I don't know much anymore. All I know is that this is the only cure for the disease I have that I will ever receive, as your love was not meant for me. Maybe that's for the best...

I don't think it would have been good to love someone with their own death foremost in their minds. As much as I wanted it, perhaps needed it, you didn't. And I'll have to respect that."

With love in my heart, Ken

Beth just could not understand it. No one understood the connection they shared. She loved him, like a brother. Her family was hers biologically, but not physiologically. He was her family… now he was gone… Just like that. She kept thinking he would just walk in the door and everything would be back to normal… However, it never happened, He never walked in the door. The next few days were a blur. Grief councilors came to her school, not that she saw them... She lived at Kira's house; they just sat there and cried together, for hours. They cried until they had no tears left. Beth was walking around Kira's room looking at her things, when she saw a photo album. She picked it up and began to flip through it. She stop on a page with a picture of the whole gang together, ken at the center of them with his goofy expression on his face… How she longed to se him, to hug him.

Why did he leave? What did she do? She was so sad. She just didn't know what to do. She saw a pen and some paper and just started writing her feelings… she soon transformed it into a poem…

As I walked into the Church,
People are watching us.
But I don't notice anymore.

I walk over to you,
I touch your sweet face.
I try so hard not to cry, but the tears
they are coming, I can't stop them.

I taste the tears of anger and sorrow,
I try to tell myself it is all a bad dream -
But I now realize that dreams
aren't supposed to hurt you.

As I lean over,
I whisper into your ear,
I love you.

I put the flowers on the casket,
And I quietly walk out saying,
Goodbye.

There, her feelings right there. She had to get ready for his funeral. Corey Greig Mackenzie Teagan and , Orion, his brother were pall bearers. The minister stood there saying how good Ken was, Beth just trembled. She was shaking, she could hear his mom sobbing. As Ken's casket was slowly laid in the ground, Beth just stood there, her head spinning. She vowed to never forget him, ever.

She stood near the hole in the ground and placed a single black rose on his mahogany coffin. Her heart screamed out for him. She needed him. His life ended, so soon. He was only 15…

The first shovel of dirt was placed on his coffin and his mother shrieked out. You could hear the pain in her voice, it was like hear heart was sliced in with a sharp blade. Beth's whole body ached; it felt like her heart was missing. When Ken was buried, so was her spirit. She felt so drained, so lost. He showed her what to do, where to go, and how to love.

She went home and laid in bed for hours. The next morning, she walked out the door into the crisp air. Her feet crunched on the slippery grass. She could smell spring, new beginnings. She didn't want it to. She wanted Ken back. She walked to the grave yard and opened the iron gate. It screeched as she squeezed past. She followed the path to the freshly turned up dirt over Ken's grave. She sat in front of his tombstone and traced the words with her fingers.

Ken Cutling

Loved by everyone

He cast an angel's Shadow.

Born February 6th, 1991

Died May 3rd, 2006

You left before you were ready to.

A tear fell from her eye. Why did he leave her, she loved him. Not like she loved Corey, but a different eternal love. She wished she had told Ken this...

Beth fell into a deep depression and for a month she was like a robot. No feeling, no emotions; just an expressionless Beth. Everymorning she went to kens' grave and traced the heartbreaking letters. Even when her father got angry she stopped crying. She stopped caring. She stopped hugging Corey, if you didn't talk to him, you wouldn't know they were going out. Beth was jsut gone, as if she had tuned out the world.