A/N: I could have updated this days ago...but I'm also in the middle of my millionth reread of the Tokyo Ghoul manga and that's a top priority of course! The fact that I've paused and decided to update this is a MIRACLE. I AM TOO GOOD OF AN AUTHOR.

"Woah Woah
Get dancin', get dancin'
Loneliness' the best disinfectant, full house!
Woah Woah"

踊 (Dance) - Giga-P, Teddyloid, DECO*27 & Ado

Tumblr Ask

'Thanks for answering the previous ask... I love this AU so much, that I need other information. Thanks in advance. If Ladybug and Chat Noir need a kiss to transform, what are the strange rituals the other heroes need to do? (Rena Rouge, Carapace, Queen Bee etc.)?'

A/N: The Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous are very unique and special, as well as extremely powerful. So, only they have the strange rituals to complete the transformation as well as a gradual build-up in terms of power. The closer the pair are, the stronger they get. Everyone else has a simple "Transforme-moi!" phrase.

My friend, Gale-Gentlepenguin came up with a brilliant idea regarding this ask though~~~ (let's hope you snort out loud as I did)

~(x)~

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Marinette and Adrien thought they knew all of what should have been known when it came to the powerful miraculous and its extraordinary powers. It never even occurred to them that the one hundred and eighty-six-year-old guardian could have forgotten to give crucial directions and ideas about how differently the other miraculous worked.

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They learnt this the hard way.

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"Alya Césaire, I present you the Miraculous of the Fox. You have proven to be a strong, trustworthy and beloved comrade. Once the Akuma has been defeated, you are to return this back to us in order to keep you and your family safe. Do you accept?" Chat Noir happily sighed with bliss internally whilst keeping a sturdy, heroic stance alongside his wonderful Lady. The way she held herself up high (despite her tiny, adorable stature) and practically oozed with confidence could end wars in a snap of her fingers.

She was simply just the best.

His fanboying and thought process halted quickly as soon as Alya accepted the necklace, excitedly clasping the jewellery around her neck and greeting the orange kwami that phased to existence before them. The persistent, nagging feeling that he had earlier on when they left Maître Fu's place bulldozed its way back into his mind like a wrecking ball.

And dread filled his body from head to toe.

"My Lady, how is she going to transform into-"

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The words sputtered and died in his throat before he had the chance to finish his sentence.

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His eyes twitched like a dying lightbulb.

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His body was frozen solid in place.

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Ladybug.

Oh, his sweet, sweet, Ladybug.

His Lady, his amour, his Princesse, his life, his Marinette...

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Was currently kissing her best friend.

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On.

The.

LIPS.

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The peck didn't even last more than a split second since it was done in a manner as one would kiss their sibling but to Chat Noir?

It felt like an eternity of the worst torture imaginable.

He felt like he was about to throw up on the spot or fall off the roof via a faint or even have his heart explode from the accumulated stress caused by this very moment alone.

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"Oh? Why didn't it work?" Ladybug pulled away in confusion as if all she did was pat someone on the head, cutely cocking her head to the side and pursing her lips. Meanwhile, Trixx burst out laughing like a hyena, his guffaws deaf to his shellshocked, new holder and the teen who wielded the mantle of destruction.

'Can't she see that her pauvres Chaton was suffering!?' The boy by her side wanted to yowl as per his namesake, his blood boiling intensely but he managed to regain his composure by just a tad.

"Did you just commit adultery!?" The feline finally gasped out, spring, emerald eyes narrowed in comical betrayal and arms furiously crossed as he scrutinised his partner. If his tail were made of fur, it would have been bristling like a course brush belonging to an old broomstick.

"But that's how we transform?" Ladybug tilted her head once more, wondering what she did wrong with the same look of innocence plastered on her face. No one paid mind to Alya's still frozen stature, kettle like squeal escaping her tight-lipped mouth and her eyeballs almost bulging out of its sockets. "Maybe I should try again? Or maybe you should do it-"

The polka-dotted heroine was then silenced by her partner's strong, possessive arms wrapping themselves around her torso and swiftly bringing her back against his body. He ducked his head against her shoulder with a warning growl and his nostrils flared whilst the mischievous little fox kwami (who continued to cackle throughout the whole ordeal) placed a paw against Ladybug's lips.

"Now now, Ladybug. The kissing ritual only applies to you and your Black Cat, this generation time around." Trixx giggled lightly once more, his form floating back to Alya as Chat tightened his grip around Ladybug to emphasise the point. "Everyone else transforms with a 'Transforme-Moi' phrase. No lip-locking involved, hehe~"

Ladybug yelped in sheer mortification and utter embarrassment, stammering out her apologies repeatedly and trying to go as far as bowing despite being held in the stubborn cat's grip. Alya shook her head with a hearty laugh, taking it all in stride and eating up the hilarious jealousy that Chat Noir radiated.

"Hahah! Calm down- no worries girl, but at least I know now that you're not actually five thousand years old. You kiss like a sloppy three-year-old, no offence." Her lopsided grin grew at Ladybug's infuriated squawk and Chat Noir's sharp inhale. "Chill, I haven't worked out who you dummies are either. I bet you two aren't even married. So no, Monsieur. Noir, your Lady hasn't committed adultery."

The duo looked away sheepishly, still stuck in the same, silly position and the shorter of the two crossed her arms with a huff and her cheeks puffed like a chipmunk.

"Chat Noir, do I really kiss like a three-year-old?"

"You kiss someone else other than me and that's what rattles you instead? Also no, not with me anyways,"

"How can you be so sure? I'm the only person you've ever kissed on the lips save for your family!"

"Huh!? W-Well same for you! But that doesn't matter- we had tonnes of practice and the only thing three-year-olds can do with their tongue is slobber over shop windows that display sweets-"

The lovers' spat was interrupted by the gorgeous shimmer and sparkling lights that were Alya's transformation, revealing her brilliant, fantastic super-suit once it was over. The girl however still had a Chesire smirk on her lips and she affectionately tapped the duo's noses with the end of her magical flute.

"Children, children. If you want, I can give you both a lesson on how to kiss properly~ I know that my boyfriend would definitely not mind-" Her joke was cut off by a louder, irritated growl from the boy clad in black, the new heroine consequently exploding in laughter anew from the tomcat's reaction.

She so was going to enjoy working with these two idiots.

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Since then, whenever Ladybug hands someone a miraculous, Chat Noir never failed to give her a look that spelt 'Don't you dare kiss them' and she, in turn, would yell out loud "ONE TIME CHAT NOIR. ONE!"

Everyone dismisses it as a married couple thing.

Rena Rouge would sometimes bring it up and joke about it during group patrols because she adores messing with the beloved heroes of Paris and their reactions just make her day.

And she gets to rub it in Queen Bee's face pettily.

This makes Queen Bee persistent for a kiss from Ladybug too, much to Chat's complaints.

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~(x)~

A/N: Bruh my internet died twice whilst writing this.

Is my internet Chat Noir?