Ronon's gruff voice fills the office,
".. got here, didn't see any people. McKay tripped on a root. There was some rocks. We came back. End of mission report."
Lorne is actively typing the words when he freezes.
Wasn't he just in the gate room? His memory of exactly what he was just doing feels fuzzy and far away. But he looks at the screen and it's got his entire transcripts of Ronon's last 13 mission reports. He remembers them word for word, and his fingers have the memory of typing them out. There's a vague sense of deja vu and he feels nauseous. He takes stock of the things that are the here and now - his laptop, time stamp of 16:30:24, is glowing brightly before him. His long lean fingers are resting in the keyboard, ready to go. His desk is clean, his cup of coffee cold. There's a recorder between his laptop and the edge of the desk. A few sticky notes litter the edge closest to John's area, as well as one scrap of paper with a caricature of Todd, feeding hand extended, with a caption of "Sheppard.." It's not very well done.
The inventory of space helps to calm his heart rate. The poorly drawn comic reminds him that he was in fact, moments ago, in the gate room, standing next to Todd, who had his mysterious yellow eyes fixed on his, who was saying something along the lines of "Thanks for the date.." but that didn't make any sense.
Evan looked to the computer again, checked the date - it was all as expected. Maybe he fell asleep and dreamed it all?
Oh well, first things first. He saves the reports and emails them to Woolsey, printing a backup copy to put on John's desk. Then, he makes a fresh pot of coffee. Him and John may share an office but they were not compromising around their need of a dedicated personal coffee maker.
The smell of fresh brewed coffee fills the moderate sized office and Evan is starting to feel good as new. He's filing emails and thinking about a second cup, when he gets a comm from Woolsey on his ear piece and heads to the gate room to join him, where the older man looks unsettled and is rubbing his hands together. The hands in question appear to be covered in oil.
"Major Lorne, thank you for emailing me the reports. And don't forget about our guest. Please let Todd know I'm sorry I couldn't greet him, but it's time for my daily SGC check in. You two kids go watch a movie or something." With that he turns and strides off.
SHIT this again, Evan knew it was coming, he dreamed this, and yet here he is, unprepared, once again. Movie night seemed to work out mostly ok before, so why not this time?
They arrive at Evan's private quarters. It all feels very familiar to him.
"Please, feel free to take a seat, Todd." He gestures to the small but cozy looking couch with a lopsided smile. "I wasn't really prepared for guests but thought maybe we could watch a movie and I could show you some stuff about earth?"
Todd inclines his head and gracefully lowers onto the couch. Lorne goes towards the tiny kitchenette in the back of his quarters.
"Would you like anything to drink? I've got beer, sodas, tea"
"Sure I would enjoy a cup of tea, Evan."
The major fills two cups with water, adds Lipton bags, and pops them in the microwave.
While the water is heating up, he's flipping through his book of DVDs. Finding his target, he grins and shows it off to Todd, who tilts his head.
"Evan, you are to show me planet earth? I have enough knowledge of it from when I was imprisoned on its surface."
"Nono Todd trust me, this is gonna be good, it's all the places people don't usually get to see, it's a documentary, it's educational!"
His excitement must be infectious because Todd smiles back at him.
"Very well"
Lorne puts in the first DVD and starts it up right as the microwave beeps that their tea is ready. 'This time it's a classy movie date', he thinks to himself.
The announcer's voice is nice and loud as he plops on the couch and hands the tea to his wraith buddy.
"100 years ago, there were 1.5 billion people on Earth. Now, over six billion crowd our fragile planet."
Todd shoots him a sideways look. "Educational indeed. I knew your people were populous but I hadn't guessed the numbers would be this much."
Lorne smiles at him, "Keep your feeding arm to yourself" but it lacks bite. He clasps Todd on his leatherclad shoulder agreeably and goes back to the documentary.
Lorne was right about the wraith not knowing much about the ecology and climates of Earth, so he's glad he decided to make this selection. In his dream, they had watched Iron Man, which is a great movie, but he felt like he had just watched it, so he opted for something different. As the narrator drones on about the cute little polar bears, he realizes his hand is still on Todd's shoulder. He withdraws. He looks at his hand, then the wraith. Todd ignores him.
When exactly did he get so cozy with a wraith? They have barely been in the same room together prior, but he feels an odd kinship to this wraith. The last time they had spent any amount of time together was when they were both watching Teyla mind control and wraith queen. But they had never been actually one on one before (like Todd tended to do with his CO).
Todd catches Lorne staring and raises a brow ridge. "Do you not have interest in the cubs and the mother bear's struggle against all-encompassing hunger?"
Evans first instinct is to say 'Not when there's someone as interesting as you here' but that's stupid. He smiles. He realizes he keeps smiling as a defense mechanism. 'Shit this really is a date'.
Instead, he says "I feel bad for the seals." Todd just says "Hmmm.." in response.
The narrator keeps reiterating how the polar bear and her cubs are going to die if they don't get food, and Lorne can't help but draw parallels between the white bears and the white haired wraith.. Maybe this documentary wasn't as good of an option to watch as he originally thought. However, Todd seems to like seeing all the different types of life that Earth harbors, and he seems fascinated by the different climates and challenges for the varying latitudes the show covers. By the time they see the wild dog chase finale of the episode, they have reached a comfortable silence.
The next episode starts up and it's all about mountains, but Todd quickly turns to Evan and demands that he show him more of the "excess humans living on the planet." Lorne sighs and goes to switch the DVD. He was actually looking forward to mountains, he does have a geology degree after all, and it's been years since he has seen Earth's mountains.
The new DVD starts up to a beautiful view of planet earth from space. An announcer begins to go into a brief explanation of human evolution, and how it's failed along the way. Todd is almost purring in excitement.
"How did this happen? Evolution does not make moral judgments. Evolution does not necessarily reward that which is good or beautiful. It simply
rewards those who reproduce the most." drones on the narrator, and Todd steeples his long fingers.
"Evan, this is another documentary, correct? This is most pleasing news.."
"No Todd, this is just a comedy. It's fiction, made up, a satire trying to shine a light on the flaws of humankind."
"I will choose to believe what I prefer."
Lorne shakes his head but replies with, "A lot of people on earth believe this is predicting our future. So maybe you're not far off."
He gets up to make some more tea for him and his guest and digs around in his cabinets while the water is microwaving. His diligence is rewarded when he finds a pouch of microwave popcorn. The major starts it up and carries the tea over to Todd, who's genuinely pleased with the dumb people family tree growing exponentially.
"Evan, one family such as this lineage could feed my hive for many generations."
"Settle down Sparky. I'm making us some popcorn so you won't starve to death any time soon."
"Another name?" Todd growls. "Is the moniker forced upon me by your Colonel Sheppard not sufficient?"
Evan frowns, both at the reminder that Todd being named upsets him, and at the mention of how important his CO is to the wraith. "It's just an expression, I'm not naming you.."
He is interrupted by the first few loud pops of the popcorn kernels. Todd looks at him quizzically. The popping increases in tempo.
"The popping means it's almost done. Popcorn is made by heating a seed until it explodes into a different kind of texture. I don't really know too much about it", Evan says, scratching the beach of his head. He wanted to properly apologize, but Todd has returned to the movie and seems engrossed in the hibernation tech shown on Idiocracy. Instead, the major goes back to his little kitchenette (he really should get more snacks here) and pulls the steamy popcorn out of the microwave. He dumps the hot kernels into his one large bowl that he was gifted by Sheppard. It has roosters on it, and John couldn't stop giggling about cocks the entire time he was giving this to him as a gift for his 35th birthday. Evan rolls his eyes at the memory, reaches into another cabinet, and proceeds to squeeze honey all over the popcorn from a small plastic bear. It's his secret guilty pleasure, and Todd won't know any better about the ethics of popcorn eating, so who cares.
By the time he rejoins Todd on the couch, setting the rooster bowl between them on the couch, the movie is fast forwarding through human history, and the great garbage collapse of 2505. Evan wonders if the earth years mean anything to the wraith. Todd glances at him when he sits, so he gestures to the popcorn and says "Try some."
Todd examines the snack, picks up one piece, and tilts his head. "It is viscous."
Evan laughs, grabs a handful himself and shoves it in his mouth. The wraith watches his movements with interest. "Yeah," he says chewing "it's salty and it's sweet, I love it though".
"Evan, my fingers are soiled even from this one piece." However, Todd obliges and puts the kernel into his mouth. Evan watches expectantly, like he spent 3 hours cooking a gourmet dinner to impress the wraith. Todd grabs another piece and pops that into his mouth as well. He keeps eating single pieces at a leisurely pace and Evan grins at him.
"I'm glad you like it. I can bring you something to clean your hands when we finish."
"Thank you for your 'snack' Evan, I understand as host it is customary to provide such items to your guests. I have been learning your human customs for optimal negotiations. While this does not provide much nutrition, it is intriguing."
Todd inclines his head diplomatically and turns back to the movie.
The escapades of Joe Bowers seem captivating to Todd, and while Evan suspects there are many questions he wants to ask, none come. The rest of the movie is silent (no comment even about the dildo car) and the major wonders if he did truly hurt Todd's feelings. By the time the movie is over, the bowl put away and everyone's hands are clean, Evan is restless.
"So, what would you like me to call you then?" He blurts out over the rolling credits music.
Todd gives him a look and a "Hmm?"
"Since you hate the name Todd, and wraith don't really have names, what would you have me call you? I like to think we're friends enough at this point that I would have done way to refer to you." Evan rambles. "Like my full name is Major Evan Stephen Lorne, with major being my military rank, but you call me Evan as friends would. What do your friends call you?"
Todd looks pensive for a few moments. "Todd is an acceptable name. Major Sheppard has explained the origins of it to me and I acquiesced to it's need. Other wraith have no need of a 'name' for me, as they read my essence telepathically, my mind print. It's much too complex to dilute it into a single word."
"Well, then I'm sorry Todd, if my offhand expression hurt your feelings."
Todd seems to vibrate a low pleased rumble from deep within his chest. "How are we to be allies, Evan, if we couldn't work through such minor miscommunications. No feelings hurt. Thank you for the choice of this most enlightening documentary, it has given me much to consider."
The major just laughs. He doesn't bother to correct the wraith about Idiocracy as a documentary this time. Todd is right though, they're working through spending time together even with the barriers of major cultural differences, and it's actually going pretty well.
Evan glances at the clock on the microwave, and it's 21:27. Almost dinner time on a normal day, but he's not hungry after their shared popcorn adventure. Todd looks at him expectantly, as if to ask "What next" and that's when Lorne gets a brilliant idea.
"Tell me about what wraith do in their off time, for fun." He half turns on the couch so he's giving Todd his full attention. Todd smiles his toothy smile and his eyes flicker with some unclear emotion.
"Well, Evan, as you know, wraith mostly spend all their time on a hive. Each is assigned responsibilities they're best suited for, but when they aren't doing that, they usually spend time with other hive members"
"Oh, you mean like we're doing now?", the major chimes in.
"Similar, but not exactly. Typically hive activities feature more members and are rarely one on one. One on one activities are reserved for those who have pledged themselves to one another. An example of a regular hive activity would be communal bathing and grooming, or sparring. Some wraith enjoy playing games as well. As high commander, I have little time for such activities, but when I find myself with down time, I frequently review scientific research from my team and read about new technological advancements."
'So', Evan thinks, 'even by wraith terms, them spending so much time alone together is a date, if not more.' He smiles, showing Todd his dimples, and claps him on the shoulder.
"That's not quite off time, Todd. If you're reviewing work from your team or reading work related things, you're still working. Is there anything you do that has no direct benefit except that you enjoy it?"
"I'm not certain what these types of activities would involve." Todd replies resolutely. "Perhaps you could show me an example?"
"Well, like watching movies like we just did, that's a leisure activity."
Todd frowns, "I disagree, this was very important research on the planet you came from and how to interact with it's inhabitants. For example, I have learned that all humans exceedingly enjoy money and watching a man get hit repeatedly in his genitals."
Lorne can't help himself but facepalm.
"Ok ok how's this then Todd, do wraith have any form of art? For example.." he gestures to the wall next to the side of the couch where Todd is sitting " one of my leisure activities is to paint. I made this painting on one of my evenings off." He is blushing a bit, he doesn't freely show off his work to others.
Todd stands and gently runs his hand across the painting. It is a rendering of the city of Atlantis, but it's usual harsh greys and blues are being overtaken by orange and purple from the fading light of a sunset. Todd is silent for a long time before he turns back.
"Evan, this is exquisite. You captured the likeness of your city well."
"Thanks" Evan replies sheepishly. The look in Todd's eyes is confusing to him, and he considers once again that maybe he shouldn't have brought this up either. The wraith's yellow eyes suddenly remind him of that sunset, and when he looks away, the image is burned into his retinas.
Todd approaches him and puts his left hand on Lorne's shoulder. "There is much I still have to learn about you, Major Evan Stephen Lorne."
Evan knows wraith are generally much more come blooded, but the hand on his shoulder seems to burn and sear him even through the cloth of his uniform. Instead of flinching away, he finds it pleasant, and he wonders if he's delirious with fever. Todd is watching him, his look calculated and measured, like he's trying to get inside his head or waiting for him to run away. The standoff continues for several long seconds before Todd says, "To answer your previous question, no, there is no wraith of whom I know who could create such images as you. But we do sometimes write rhythmic prose, which I understand is considered art by your people?"
Evan doesn't answer, even though it's clearly a question.
Todd continues, in a lilting voice:
"You approach, and the starlight reflects the hunger in your eyes.
Defiance tastes like life itself.
I drink it freely."
Evan steps closer, and Todd removes his hand off his shoulder. His mind is racing and he is convinced that he's drunk, but all he says is "Neat."
Todd smiles crookedly and says "Thanks, I wrote it myself.. Wait... you don't like it."
"No, no that's not... Well it didn't rhyme.." Evan returns.
"It rhymes in wraith."
Evan watches as Todd visibly forces a pout on his face. What human taught him that? Was it Sheppard? How much time do these two actually spend together..
"Look Todd, it's a very nice poem. I guess I'm just a more visual kind of guy, I don't really get that kind of stuff. You know who would really like it though?" He pauses and can't think of anyone who would enjoy a poem about sucking the defiance out of someone else. Or, if not that, what other sucking did it mean. He flounders, before picking out a name of the nicest person in Atlantis. "Katie Brown, I heard she really likes poetry. In fact, we should go see if we can find her in her lab."
He looks at Todd to see if the wraith bought his lie, and grabs him by the sleeve to drag him to the corridor. Todd seems resigned to let Evan do whatever he wants and follows him. Luck is not on his side however - Katie Brown is off world and the lab is dark and empty. Just him and a wraith, in a romantic garden (lab) in a secluded part of the city. This is fine. While he tries to think of elsewhere to go, Todd just stands there, calmly staring at him. The stillness of his looming form is unsettling, like a predator about to pounce. Lorne almost falls on his ass when his earpiece sounds an unscheduled off world activation.
But right as they turn to hustle to the gate (presumably to meet Sheppard, Lorne has lost track of time), he swears he sees Todd wink at him.
A/N: Here is a quick sketch i did of how i envision Lorne's sunset Atlantis Painting - imgur dot com /GRO5vki