She is alive. She is not going to die. She is alive. I repeat the words like a
mantra, hoping to God that they are tru. Because if she dies...
No. I won't go there.
I sat by her bed for five hours , willing her to wake up. She didn't. She just
laid there, the only proof that she was alive was the movement of her chest
when she breathed.
And I cried. I don't cry. Don't like to show that kind of weakness. But I cried
when I sat there and looked at her. I could lose her. The though kept
repeating itself in my mind. I could lose her. I could lose the only women I
ever loved. And it scared me. It terrified me.
Deaq forced me to leave her room after five hours. He told me to leave, to
go home and get some sleep. I just stared at him. Go home? No fucking
way. Not before I knew that she was okay.
So I sit here outside her room. Waiting. Hoping. Praying.
- She is awake.
I look up at Deaq with relief in my eyes.
- She is awake? She's okay?
- You can see for yourself. She wants to talk to you.
I got up from my my chair and walked the few meters to her room. I opened
the door and went inside, closing the door after me.
She is awake. She is alive. Thank God.
She turns her head to look at me and I can see the rage in her eyes.
- Damm you. Damm you to hell.
I should have known that Deaq would tell her. He's worried about me.
- That's one way of thanking the guy who saved your life.
- It is not your fight Van. It is my life. My fight. Do not get involved.
- I saved your life. I am already involved.
- Then get uninvolved. I won't let you get yourself killed because of some
some fucking... loyalty... towards me.
I feel my own anger rising. Is she that ignorant or just plain stupid?
- Loyalty? You think I want to kill the asshole that hurt you out of loyalty?
- What other reason is there? she asks with low voice and turns her head
away from me.
- You know why I want him dead. You know why I can't stand to see you hurt.
The reason that I can't stand to see you in a hospital. You know why
- No, I don't. And I don't know why you want to die so badly that you would
go after him.
- I don't wanna die. I want him to die. Painfully.
She turns her head and looks at me.
- Yeah, Deaq told me. Why is this so hard to get? He is my fight, not yours.
He tried to kill me, not you. You have nothing to do with this. Leave him
alone.
-Got nothing to do with this? I got everything to do with this.
- No you don't. I will not let you do this. I fire you if I have to.
- You could try. It wouldn't make a difference. I'm still going to kill him.
She started to look frustrated.
- What's wrong with you? Why can't you do as I say? Van, please. I don't
want you to die.
- I love you. I love you so much it hurts. This is not just your fight. Don't
you dare say that it is. The guy tried to kill you Billie. He tried to kill the
woman I love. Leave him alone? Not a chance in hell.
I left the room and ran right into Deaq.
TBC...
This story is dedicated to all the people who were affected by the Hurricane
Katrina. May God be with you.