Disclaimer: Nothing in the Harry Potter universe is mine. Everything belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling. I only want to play in her playground a little bit.

AN: Many thanks to all you reviewed, followed and favoured, you guys are the best. Your comments made me grin happily for hours (I think my colleagues think I am mad – ok madder).

So, here is the next chapter, and finally we met the recipient of the third letter. It is the longest chapter so far, because of the long letter. In the previous chapters I showed the reactions to the letter in the next chapter, not while it was read. I tried it like this, this time too, but it didn't feel right. So, you will get the first impressions of the reader in between the reading of the letter.

This chapter is now beta'ed by the wonderful a-bit-of-madness.

Have fun reading, I am really curious to hear what you think of it.

On with the story.

Chapter 6: The third letter

In the Hogwarts Headmaster's office Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk, Harry's letter clutched in his hands. He had read it multiple times by now and still too many thoughts swirled around in his mind.

Had he really misinterpreted the situation so badly? How had Harry obtained this information, and why did he decide not to seek help? The letter confirmed some of his worst theories and Harry's solution and explanation left him with more questions than answers.. Where had he made a mistake? When had he strayed so far from the right path, losing sight of the people he wanted to protect most and when had the consequences of his mistakes led to this - a child trusting no one to help him carry the burden? Had his choices pushed Harry to be so distrustful, leaving him to act alone?

Yes, he tended to think more like a General. He tried to make decisions based on what was best for the majority of the magical population in Great Britain, but he thought he kept an eye at least on the people dear to him, Harry being one of those people.

When had the pressure to be the leader and the tension of Tom's return lead to him losing the sight of these people?

Albus Dumbledore was not above admitting his mistakes and he knew they often had greater consequences. He could not even deny the accusation that he used people like chess pieces.

As he looked back at his behaviour since Tom's resurrection, he realized his failures, especially concerning Harry. How could he have been so short-sighted so as not to see that his attempt to protect him by distancing himself from the boy would look like abandonment from Harry's side?

And what about the hint of his home life? Yes, the Dursley's were not as loving as he had initially hoped, and they certainly did not spoil Harry, but surely, they cared for him in their own way? They were family, after all, at the end of the day, but the letter implied something different…

And if he had overlooked and misinterpreted Harry's family situation, what else had he missed while focusing on the 'bigger picture'?

His eyes roamed over the letter again. A Blood-quill?

Anger filled him as he read Harry's account of his treatment under Umbridge's tenure, anger and guilt. This was his fault. His fault and his mistake. A mistake that had led to his students being hurt in the very halls where they should have felt safest. Why had Dolores thought it would be a good idea to use a torture method for detentions?

How had he not seen that the situation had been that bad? Oh, Dolores Umbridge would be ruined when he was finished with her. Nobody hurt his students like this.

His anger deflagrated instantly. His own actions had led to students being hurt at school, especially Harry. Why did it seem that all his good intentions regarding the boy always backfired?

He thought back to the conversation with Severus after the Pensieve incident during Occlumency lessons. Severus had told him that Harry had been arrogant and lazy, without any regard for the importance of the lesson. He had refused to continue and Albus had thought it would be too dangerous to take them up himself. Severus had been the only possible candidate to teach Harry Occlumency, the only one he had trusted enough.

In retrospect, Albus was not so sure. Perhaps he should have organized meditation lesson with Filius first. As a duelling champion he was capable of basic mediation and simple Occlumency shields. Why had not he thought about this half a year ago?

He'd heard how Severus treated Harry quite often over the years but had played it down. Yes, he had talked with Severus about Harry, assuring him that he was definitely not his father and that he should not judge him based on his heritage, but it had done nothing. He had downplayed Harry's concerns and objections. Had he allowed Severus to abuse his authority as a teacher to get revenge for a teenage fight? Had his trust in Severus made him blind to his misconduct regarding Harry?

He had not even realized that the Occlumency lesson were not helping at all.

There had been so many things happening at once during that time, Harry's visions, the attack on Arthur, the problems with the Ministry, his slander in the Daily Prophet, his dismissal as Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, the sparse information of what Tom had been up to, his fear for Harry because of the connection with Tom and the prophecy.

Had it finally all been too much? Had his desire to give Harry a few more years without the looming knowledge of the prophecy been detrimental?

It seemed that his habit of keeping information to himself because for fear of betrayal, had led to Harry mistrusting him. He had made the same mistake again, he had overlooked a loved one while planning and the consequences had cost him.

Perhaps he should count himself lucky, he had not lost Harry completely as he had lost Ariana, only, so far, his trust.

Albus sighed and looked around his office, remembering how Harry had destroyed some of his trinkets in grief and fury. Harry, who had already lost some much. Perhaps he should have told him the prophecy earlier, but he couldn't turn back the time. Analysing his actions regarding Harry made him realize that his whole handling of the boy had been full of mistakes. He would have to make amends this school year.

If Harry decided to come back…

Perhaps he should go and visit him, try to make amends with the boy? But no, Harry had requested that he stay away, and he would respect that.

How had he thought that isolating Harry in the muggle world would help? He had thought Harry needed to grieve and that at Privet Drive, with his family, he would have the quiet environment, the time and the support to do so, so that he could come to terms with what had happened. A break from the pressure he was under in the magical world.

Another miscalculation on his part.

Albus was not sure if he could forgive himself at this moment, let alone if Harry could, but Harry had a far greater capacity for compassion and forgiveness than anyone else Dumbledore had ever known.

A testimonial of this was how he had handled the Horcruxes. Harry had found out on his own, but instead of destroying them completely, making his parents' murderer mortal again and then destroying him, he gave them back. He gave Tom back what he had valued the most as a teenager, when he still was Albus' student - his sanity, his brilliant mind and exceptional intelligence.

Albus could only wonder how Harry could have done that, he hoped he would tell him someday. He had read everything he could find about Horcruxes but had not come up with a solution for how to get rid of the one in Harry other than killing him. He had hoped that a killing curse from Tom himself would only kill the Horcrux, especially since he knew that Tom had used Harry's blood in the resurrection ritual. He hypothesized that if someone who had the blood sacrifice running through his veins tried to kill the one the sacrifice wanted to protect, that the curse would be weakened and deflected. Therefore, if Tom were to try and kill Harry, the curse would only take the soul shard.

Albus read the letter again and sighed. All his mistakes led to a boy he dearly loved like a grandchild being hurt, not only by him, but by the whole magical world. A world Harry had already sacrificed so much for.

He was not sure what he should think about Tom being sane. Would he change enough? He had been a frightening, anti-social and arrogant child, had shown his ruthless and cruel nature very early. Albus paled with the thought of what a sane Tom could and would do.

They still needed to have an eye on him. If Tom stepped off the warpath and put an end to the violence, it would be hard to do something against him. If that wasn't the case, though, he needed to be stopped, permanently, and the only one who could defeat him was Harry.

Harry, who said outright that he had done his duty, who wanted to be left alone.

A passage caught his eyes.

I will leave the rest to you, headmaster. You are much more suited for leading the people against Voldemort, if he is still a threat. I was merely a pawn and I did my duty and wounded the king.

I don't want to have anything to do with the war and Voldemort anymore.…

They needed Harry if Tom did not stop the violence, but would Harry even talk with him? Perhaps he should send a letter or an intermediary.

And he had to talk with Severus, he needed to know if Tom had summoned his Death Eater, perhaps he could even send Severus to check on Harry... no, it would lead to a disaster for both, not with their history. Perhaps Minerva or Remus?

Albus leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, but the end of the letter was imprinted in his mind and the words ripped his heart apart.

A lone tear escaped the eyes of Albus Dumbledore void of their usual twinkle, as he sat in his office, trying to come to terms with what had happened. Burying his head in his hands, Albus whispered, "Oh Harry, what have I done?"

It was midnight when Harry woke to a soft rustle of feathers. Blinking, he recognized Hedwig landing at the headpost of his bed. She hooted softly at him.

"Hey girl. Had a safe trip?" Harry turned around and stroked her feathers fondly. "Glad to have you back. Ah, if only you could tell or show me his face as he realized I wrote him a letter." Harry snickered.

"Let's sleep. Tomorrow I have some more letters. Sorry, that I am working you so hard. But only two more days. Two more days…" Harry yawned, closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

Hedwig combed his hair affectionately with her beak. She would watch over him for a few hours and then rest. Her wizard needed her.

A lot of strange things had already happened in Draco Malfoy's life - things which had led to realizations about himself he often wished he did not have. That the famous Harry Potter had not wanted to be his friend, for example. It had been a hard lesson to learn, his father had always told him that what a Malfoy wanted, a Malfoy would get. And he wanted Harry Potter as a friend. And when he could not get this, he at least wanted his attention.

If he thought about it, a lot of things in his life were somehow connected with Harry bloody Potter.

In second year, he only wanted to play seeker so badly because of Potter. Technically, chaser was his favourite position, but then he wouldn't be able to compete directly with Potter. He wanted to see Potter's face when he defeated him.

At the Duelling Club he thought he would finally get his chance to see Potter defeated at his feet, instead he had listen with envy Potter speak Parseltongue.

In third year he realized he liked the insults they traded and the reactions he got out of Potter when he mocked him. He looked forward to their confrontations and fights every day.

In fourth year, he had to admit that he had been a little afraid for him. Nobody could replace Potter, nobody was witty or stubborn enough to fight back against him. If Potter died in that stupid tournament, Draco would lose his only real entertainment.

He had begrudgingly admitted that he was impressed how Potter handled the first task. After the third task he was horrified, especially as he realized Potter had been tortured. His father had talked with his mother behind closed doors (not that a closed door could hinder Draco) and told her what had transpired after he had been summoned. Both had been terrified, afraid of a madman who tortured children, afraid for their own son as the Dark Lord resided in Malfoy Manor.

Fifth year had been the most horrible so far - especially for Potter. Draco had watched him struggle with anger and frustration, had tried to rile him up at every possible moment (which had not been as much fun as he anticipated, Potter had not quite been himself). He had seen the mood swings and the social isolation and had sneered at Gryffindors for their disloyalty. He had been a little concerned for Potter, he had looked tired, haunted and sometimes even hopeless. It had been obvious, but none of his friend had commented on it when he had pointed it out.

Instead, Pansy had told him to either stop obsessing over Potter or act on it. Blaise's comment on the matter had been a simple "shag already!" The rest of his friends had stayed silent. Theo never voiced his opinion out loud, he would wait and see what transpired and then act if needed, Greg and Vince were mostly interested in food, and Daphne cooed at how sweet and romantic it was that he had been infatuated with the same guy since he was eleven - it was nauseating.

He was not obsessed or infatuated with Potter!

He hated Potter. He hated that he was concerned for him. Hated that, even if he tried, he could not ignore the git. Hated how he wanted to be acknowledged by Potter. He hated how Potter always got under his skin and loved how he always got under Potter's skin. He hated that he loved the challenge Potter posed. Hated that he loved it when Potter paid attention to him. Yes, Draco Malfoy hated Harry Potter with a deep passion.

But this, this was surely the strangest thing so far.

Sure, he had watched Potter and made sure that he at least paid him attention, however that attention came, but he would never have predicted Potter would write him a letter.

Draco had recognized the beautiful white owl immediately and had stared dumfounded for some seconds as it tapped against his window.

Now he sat on his bed, letter in hand, and he had to admit he was a little afraid to open it. He put the letter aside, called a house-elf and ordered some tea, wiping his sweating hands on his trousers while he waited. The elf arrived and Draco took the herbal tea gratefully, sipping slowly, trying to gather his nerves. Then he picked up the letter again and opened it carefully. A thick pack of parchments emerged.

Draco unfolded them, confused, the first one had some writing on it, but the other ones seemed blank. Then he recognized the type of parchment - Truth and Oath - a specific kind of parchment used for negotiations. Everything written on this parchment was the truth as the writer believed it to be and you could embed a binding oath in it. It was very expensive and rarely used nowadays. But in the old times, every peace treaty had been written on Truth and Oath parchment.

What was important enough for Potter to send him such a letter?

Draco put the blank pages aside and read the first one.

Dear Draco

Is it okay if I call you Draco? I think after this letter you'll know more of me than even Ron or Hermione, and that permits the first name basis, don't you think?

I'm sure you're wondering why I would send you a letter. We are not friends, we don't like each other, we disagree on everything, and beside Quidditch we would never willingly spend time together. Nobody would suspect that I would share this with you of all people. Who would think that I would give you more ammunition, I mean, you are Draco Malfoy and I am Harry Potter. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. As a Slytherin, you are ambitious, clever, have a strong sense of self-preservation and, if you want to be, you can be quite cunning.

Draco felt slightly insulted. He was always cunning, thank you very much.

So, for me, you are the perfect choice.

What I will tell you in this letter will give you excessive and marvellous blackmailing material, but I hope that, as a Slytherin, you won't act on what I tell you without a plan and benefits for you. I am sure you won't spill the beans, since if you did you would lose your blackmailing material.

I take it you recognized the kind of parchment I used. Yes, you will have to swear an oath before you can read the actual letter, but no, I will not let you swear that you cannot use the information I am about to give you. I will only give you a limited time in which you cannot talk about the letter and what it details, after this everyone is fair game. And, because of the parchment, you know that everything I wrote is the truth, or the truth as I believe it. And why?

I came across crucial and dangerous information and used it. I had to tell some people what I did, but not everyone needs to know every detail. If something happens to me, though, there will be no one who knows the whole story, the information would be lost and that would be fatal. So, with this letter I hope to use you as a safety net.

If everything goes right, you never have to reveal what you know if you don't want to. If not, well...

It is your decision. If you want to read the letter, swear the oath below. I assume you know what you have to do.

Yours,

Harry Potter

.

Draco stared shocked at the letter. He was also slightly giddy that Potter had decided to send him this letter. It made him feel special and elated… oh Merlin, Pansy was right… he was obsessed with Potter! Not infatuated though… never!

What baffled Draco was Potter's reasons for sending the letter to him. Who would have thought that there was a Slytherin mind behind that Gryffindor facade? It made him even more interesting.

A few spaces below Potter's signature, the oath was written. It was simple and straightforward.

I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, swear…

Hold on, how did Potter know his whole name? He was sure he never had mention his middle name around Potter.

I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, swear to read the following letter alone for the first time, without the presence of another being, whether it be a human, creature or portrait, who could listen or record the content of this letter. I swear to read it with an open mind and with the knowledge that this is the truth as Harry James Potter believes it to be. I swear not to talk about the details of this letter, write it down for someone else to read, or give it to an another being, whether it be a human, creature or portrait, for the next 48 hours. On my blood and magic, this I so swear.

.

Draco gulped and hesitated for a moment, but his curiosity and the thought of blackmailing material thrilled him - he was a Slytherin after all. He picked up his wand, placed the tip directly under the oath on the parchment and spoke the words. At once, he felt the magic taking hold and the oath settled in him. As he looked at the blank parchments, writing appeared, floating up from the inside.

Exhilarated he picked them up, ordered another cup of tea, settled against the headboard of his bed and began reading.

.

Wonderful, you swore the oath. Thank you… I think. I am a little nervous writing this. At the end you will know all my little secrets, so nervous is perhaps the wrong word. Afraid? Jittery? Anxious? Whatever. Let's start.

Again: Dear Draco

Welcome to the wonderful tale of the life of one Harry Potter, but as with every life story, it isn't about only one person. And it isn't as wonderful as most people believe. So, where and how should I begin our wonderous tale? Ah yes, like every good story starts…

Once upon a time…

There was an orphaned boy, who grew up in a muggle orphanage. He learned early that he was different, special. He could talk with snakes, he could move objects with his mind and he could punish the other children who bullied him. His name was Tom Marvolo Riddle. As he reached his eleventh birthday, a strange man visited him in the orphanage and told him he was a wizard. That man's name was Albus Dumbledore. Albus told him about magic.

Tom went to Hogwarts, where he was sorted into Slytherin. He was a model student, brilliant but poor and - oh so - charming. And every summer he had to go back to the orphanage. Tom feared nothing more than dying, and as he had to spend his summer in muggle London during the second muggle world war, he was obsessed with finding a way to make himself immortal.

Tom Marvolo Riddle, Draco didn't recognize the name. Why would Potter talk about this Riddle guy? What was he driving at?

Albus Dumbledore was suspicious of Tom. He had shown on their first meeting at the tender age of eleven how ruthless and arrogant he could be and his remarkable control over his, for an eleven-year-old, quite powerful magic made Dumbledore wary.

Over the years Tom came to fear and despise Albus because of this.

Throughout school Tom was obsessed with finding his magical heritage. When he discovered that his father, Tom Riddle, had been a muggle, he crafted the alias "Lord Voldemort" to spare himself the reminder of his "filthy Muggle father". Later, he discovered that his mother's bloodline made him a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin.

Draco paled. Voldemort… Potter was talking about the Dark Lord.

During his fifth year he discovered the Chamber of Secrets and the Basilisk within, and he tried to follow the order left behind - to purge Hogwarts of everyone unworthy. A lot of students were hurt in the process, one student died. Afraid that Hogwarts would be closed and he would have to go back to the orphanage Tom closed the Chamber, but he used the murder for his own purpose. He performed an old, very dark ritual and increased the rip in his soul the act of murder had created, till his soul split apart. Tom put half of his soul in the next best object he had with him, his diary, making it his very first Horcrux.

He didn't notice that with half his soul missing his emotions were dulled, his ambitions distorted, his mind warped and so he crippled his magical possibilities. Thus, was the beginning of Lord Voldemort and his spiral into insanity.

Draco felt faint. As he read about the soul splitting and the Horcrux, he remembered the diary his father had possessed, something the Dark Lord had given to him for safekeeping.

Due to his charisma, Tom had already collected a lot of followers during his time in Hogwarts. After graduation he travelled, while slipping deeper into the Dark Arts. He made four more Horcruxes beside his diary and every time his soul was split in half and his downfall into insanity and the destruction of his magical capabilities went on. And it showed on his features, dehumanization followed.

Draco had only seen the Dark Lord a few times and only once from close proximity, when his father had brought him before him as a potential Death Eater at his Lord's demands. He had been utterly horrified and disgusted at the thought of following and kissing the feet of the snake-like nonhuman.

He started to gather more and more followers, using their beliefs in blood purity and supreme reign over everyone beneath them to enthral them, they called themselves Death Eater.

During the height of his power, one of Voldemort's followers brought parts of a prophecy to him, a prophecy about a child, destined to be his downfall. So very afraid of dying, he went after the family and as prophesied, it was his downfall. The exact wording was:

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...
born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...
and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...
and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...
the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...

Lord Voldemort only heard the first two lines and therefore made the fulfilment of the prophecy all the more possible. How had he found the one family with a child fitting the prophecy? A friend of the family told him where he could find them, thinking themselves safely hidden under the Fidelius charm. It was Peter Pettigrew, Death Eater, rat Animagus and friend to my parents, who betrayed them.

And so, on Halloween night 1981, Lord Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow to kill me.

He gave my mother the choice to step aside, but when she refused, he killed her, and her sacrifice awakened ancient magic and protected me and rebuked the killing curse, sending it back to Lord Voldemort. His body was destroyed that night, but his Horcruxes anchored his soul. He didn't die, but was cast from his body as a spirit.

The consequences of that night were far greater than everyone knew at that point. His murder of two innocent people ripped his already unstable soul apart again. This soul piece would have vanished, had it not found a whole and pure living soul nearby to attach itself to – me. I was made an unintentional Horcrux and I've carried Lord Voldemort's soul piece in me since then.

Draco tried to gulp, but his throat was too dry. He grabbed his so far forgotten teacup and drank half of the already cold tea. How had Potter felt when he realized he had carried a part of the soul of his parents' murderer inside him since he was one year old? Draco tried to imagine it, but it only made him feel sick.

Lord Voldemort travelled as a bodiless spirit for years, till he found a willingly young wizard years later he could possess, a teacher at Hogwarts, where little Harry Potter would start soon his very first year.

But what had happened to little Harry Potter in the interceding years?

As you know, I survived that fateful Halloween night with nothing more than a scar and a little extra soul piece. Hagrid took me from the destroyed house and brought me to Dumbledore. Dumbledore, who knew the prophecy and knew that Lord Voldemort was not dead. And he knew about the blood sacrifice my mother had invoked. So he decided I had to grow up with blood relatives, to give me the extra protection he could place with the help of blood wards, based on my mother's blood. My only living family from my mother's side is Aunt Petunia, a muggle.

Dumbledore wanted me to grow up apart from the wizarding world, he didn't want me to be used for my fame as a child, famous for something I couldn't even remember.

As noble as his intentions were, his decision wasn't really a good one.

He left me, on a cold November night, on the doorstep of No 4, Privet Drive, a muggle neighbourhood. He thought he left me with family. I grew up there with the Dursleys, my aunt Petunia, my uncle Vernon and my cousin Dudley, but Dumbledore miscalculated. By blood the Dursleys are my family, but by everything that defines a family the Dursleys never fit the description.

Family doesn't treat you like an unwelcome burden, like you are something to be hidden away, their dirty secret. Something abnormal and freaky. A worthless waste of space. I had to earn my keep, the roof over my head, the food on my plate and the hand-me-downs they so graciously put on my body, as uncle Vernon loves to say. I learned to clean, cook, do the laundry and weed the garden from an early age. I learned that my name was Harry the first day I went to primary school. They never called me anything other than 'freak' or 'boy'.

They treated me like a house-elf, not that I knew at that time what a house-elf was. I didn't know I was a wizard, they had told me my parents had died at a car crash. I didn't know little boys normally didn't sleep in a cupboard under the stairs.

The beatings started with my first accidental magic at five. I froze a glass Dudley had pushed from the counter. I got fives lashes with Uncle Vernon's belt and had to pick up the glass shards, afterwards I was thrown into my cupboard, locked in for a few days with no meals. From then on, I got beaten and whipped for everything I did wrong, or they thought I did, for being a burden to them, for simply being alive and especially for every bit of accidental magic I performed.

Draco was appalled by the details of Potter's childhood. He had been prepared to read something about how he much his family loved him, how they would treat him as a prince. But this? He would disregard it as a lie, but nobody could lie on truth parchment.

Beatings? A cupboard as a bedroom? This was child abuse! Why hadn't anyone done something? Had Dumbledore never checked on him? There were so few magical children born every year, every one of them was precious. His father would never raise his hand or his wand against him.

Everything escalated when I turned eleven. My Hogwarts letter arrived and was addressed to my cupboard. They tried to prevent me from reading it and were afraid someone was watching them, so they gave me Dudley's second bedroom (a year later they put bars in front of my window, secured the door with multiple locks and installed a cat flap to fed me - really homey). More letters were sent, hundreds of them, till Hagrid found us (we were on the run at this point). He made a knot in Vernon's gun and gave Dudley a pigtail. He told me I was a wizard.

Hagrid showed me to Diagon Alley and told me about my parents and Hogwarts. At Madam Malkin's I met the very first wizard my age, but I was really nervous and a little frightened by everything and the boy was kind of aloof and cold.

Here Draco paused and blushed, he remembered that day and the dark haired tiny wizard at Madam Malkin's. He had not been used to people not knowing him and all the other children his age he knew were childhood friends. He had been nervous and had wanted to make a good impression but had not known how.

When I came back from Diagon Alley with my trunk and my owl and the wonder in my face, I got one of my worst beatings so far. Vernon was so angry that I was happy for once, that I was happy with being not normal. They didn't let me out of my room for the rest of the summer.

Draco wanted to vomit, or rage and scream, or – better – find and kill those thrice damned muggles. How had Potter managed to hide this? There was not even a whisper going around at Hogwarts, and this would have spread like fiendfyre. He seemed like the perfect lion - confident, brave, unafraid of standing up against whoever affronted his friends or him. Should he not be more… cowed and – well… broken?

Draco frowned. Children with an abusive past often went to Slytherin, they developed a significant amount of cunning growing up. As a prefect, he and all the other prefects and the Head boy and girl (if they were Slytherins), had a briefing at the start of every year with Severus about what they had to watch for, with the explicit order to report immediately even the slightest suspicion.

Potter did not display the typical signs. Anyone looking at him would see a well-adjusted boy. There had not been one hint that something was amiss in his home life. Intentionally or not, Potter had made the signs of abuse very easy to miss.

But why? Why would Potter hide it? Why not seek help and get away from his abusive relatives?

At the Hogwarts express I made my first friend ever - Ron, but I also saw the boy from Madam Malkin's again, who behaved kind of arrogant and reminded me too much of Dudley in that moment. Ron told me more about the different houses and that he wanted to be in Gryffindor. Hagrid had already said that every bad wizard had come from Slytherin. I know that this is not the truth, but when I was eleven I believed what people told me, I was naïve and gullible.

The Sorting hat wanted to put me in Slytherin, but I was so afraid to be in the house my parents' murderer had been in and where the arrogant kind-of-Dudley boy had been sorted, I persuaded it to put me in Gryffindor.

By Merlin's hairy balls, Harry Potter could have been in Slytherin!? And it was part of his fault that it did not happen. Draco was dumfounded. It was the ultimate Slytherin move, hide in the house of lions.

I quickly learned more about my fame and how everyone thought Harry Potter should be. So, I played the part. Yes, I admit it, the Gryffindor Golden Boy is a mask - or, most of it. I learned quickly that the world wanted a Gryffindor hero, so I gave them one. Dumbledore explained to me at the end of this year why I had to go back to the Dursleys every summer, the blood wards are too important.

That was the reason? An eleven-year-old boy was pushed into a role and accepted it to belong somewhere, Dumbledore told him he had to go back there every summer and that's it? Draco wanted to hex or maim someone quite badly.

I learned to hide the scars from my lashings, learned to suppress the flinches, learned to be loud and happy and to eat. At least Hogwarts was better than Privet Drive, even if Snape reminded me of my Uncle too often.

He had to talk with Severus. Draco knew his godfather was not the nicest person, but Hogwarts was likely Potter's only refuge and he did not need someone to remind him of his abusive Uncle every day. Even if he did not like Potter, (no Pansy, I. am. not. infatuated. with. Potter!), nobody deserved this.

I will not retell everything that happened in my five years at Hogwarts. Let's just say I discovered a pattern quite fast. Something suspicion went on in which I was somehow involved, if I wanted or not, half of the school scorned me through at least part of the school year, Ron betrayed me half of the time (like in fourth year before the first task). I forgave him every time. At the end of the year something always happened, which usually resulted in me nearly dying. Let's summarize my school years so far.

First year I had to protect the philosopher stone from Voldemort (really shitty protections, three first years overcame them, what was Dumbledore thinking?).

Second year I had to rescue Ginny from the Basilisk and the sixteen-year old Tom Riddle. Riddle came out of the diary your father gave Ginny before the term even started. And yes, there was a Basilisk in the Chamber, which nearly killed me (let me tell you Basilisk venom is really painful once you get it in your bloodstream). Oh, and I am sorry we thought you were the heir of Slytherin, Hermione even brewed Polyjuice potion, so Ron and I could interrogate you as Crabbe and Goyle (Hermione accidentally used a cat hair, you can imagine the results). And did you know there is an Acromantula nest in the Forbidden Forest? We found it while discovering what Slytherin's monster was. It was really horrible for Ron, he is terrified of spiders.

Third year I discovered and rescued my actually innocent godfather (he never got a trial, not even Dumbledore the chief warlock looked into it) and prevented my soul being sucked out by Dementors (I really hate them, every time they are near me I hear my parents dying). Pettigrew escaped in that year.

Don't get me started on fourth year… how Dumbledore never realized that Moody, his life-long friend, was actual a polyjuiced Death Eater… it ended with me being used in a resurrection ritual performed by Pettigrew, and Voldemort gaining a body.

And last school year I had to survive Umbridge and her bloody detentions with a Blood-quill, being ignored by Dumbledore, horrible visions of the stuff Voldemort was doing (the soul connection over my scar sometimes let me see things from his perspective), and my godfather dying in the Ministry.

A Blood-quill? Draco had heard that Detentions with Umbridge had been horrible, but none of the few Slytherins who had detentions with her had indicated that they had to use a Blood-quill. Had it been only Potter?

Draco sighed, it seemed everythingalways happened to Potter. Had he known from the start what everything really included, he never would have been jealous. Could the guy not get some rest?

Draco paused… When had he started to feel sympathy for Potter? He shook his head. He admitted he did not hate Potter anymore, not after reading everything so far, but feeling compassionate?

And every year I was sent back to the Dursleys for the summer, where they locked me away, worked me like a house-elf and beat me for breathing or not dying in whatever scheme I had been caught during the school year. Nobody knows what is happening at Privet Drive, not even Hermione and Ron.

At this Draco felt somehow smug. Potter had told him something very important and private and not even the Mudblood and the Weasel knew it.

At the end of this year, after my godfather died, Dumbledore finally told me the prophecy. I destroyed his office in grief and anger. I felt like it was my fault. I hadn't realized it was a trap, a trap Voldemort had set up with visions of the Hall of Prophecies over the whole year. Dumbledore knew about the visions but the only thing he did to help was order Snape to give me lessons in Occlumency.

What a great idea. Give the teacher who hates me the most the opportunity to dig through my mind. Do you know why he hates me? It's ridiculous, and a little sad. My father and his friends, the Marauders, bullied him during their school time and because I look so much like him he gets his revenge on James Potter by bullying his son in return. Petty if you think about.

Draco paused. He had not known this about his godfather, no wonder, Severus was a really private person. He had to agree with Potter, it was petty to punish the son for the wrongdoings of the father.

And now comes the important stuff. Since the start of this summer I've had a lot of time to think about the connection with Voldemort. I discovered I was a Horcrux and that he made more. How you ask? I used the connection between us and slipped into his mind to dig through it, which was a disturbing place to be, really foggy and chaotic and nauseating…

Voldemort and Snape gave me the idea. You know, at the Ministry Voldemort possessed me for a few moments and when I thought about it afterwards, it didn't make any sense. How could he have done that? Sending visions is one thing, but bodily possession?

Oh, I discovered so much in his mind. I realized he was insane because of the soul splitting and that he wasn't always set on the warpath. But what to do with this knowledge? I decided to give Voldemort back his soul and by extension, his sanity. I used the connection between myself as a Horcrux and all the other Horcruxes and pulled the soul pieces into myself. I already had one more soul piece than the one making me a Horcrux: the first Horcrux. The soul pieces, which was made of half of his original soul, from the diary had lashed itself to me after I destroyed the diary in the Chamber of Secrets with a Basilisk tooth, freeing it in the process.

I merged all the soul pieces, but couldn't include two. One, which resides in Nagini and the one in me. As we are both living beings and have our own soul, the soul piece attached itself tightly to our own over the years. They are interwoven and are hard to unravel from each other. I tried unsuccessfully with myself and it was really painful, I blacked out for nearly three days (Uncle Vernon was not amused that his car wasn't washed before his big meeting). Even though mine is an accidental Horcrux - the soul piece is more like parasitic fragment or a stowaway - they are too interwoven with each other. Nagini welcomed and took the soul piece willingly, they are inseparable. If someone wanted to destroy it, they would have to kill Nagini.

The other five soul pieces were merged successfully, though and I sent them back to Voldemort using our soul connection. He should be sane again (or as sane as he can be), the pieces missing make up less than 3% of his soul. Perhaps he even looks human again. I hope so, he was quite handsome when he was sixteen.

Draco was completely astonished at what Potter had done. He had in his hands the means to destroy his enemy, the murderer of his parents, the one who had tried to kill him and had tortured him, and he gave him back his soul. He helped him! Draco could not comprehend it.

With everything that had happened to him, how could he still be this forgiving? How could he be so compassionate… so downright good?

I told Dumbledore that I collected the Horcruxes and sent the soul pieces to Voldemort. I told Snape the same, in more detail, and I suggested he check on Voldemort to see if the merging was successful and if he is sane again. I even told Snape the prophecy and that I would tell some other person everything important to know (I didn't mention that it would be you). I told both that I knew I was a Horcrux. To Snape I even wrote, that if Voldemort is sane again, I could consent to parts of his original plans. You should talk with him about it. It wasn't always about killing muggles and Muggle-borns, world domination and other crazy plans.

I think with this I did my duty and vanquished the Dark Lord. I don't want to be involved in the war or anything anymore.

The fickle opinions of the Wizarding World don't matter. If Voldemort doesn't stop the violence, someone else can deal with him. You only have to destroy the snake to make him mortal again and then literally anybody could kill him.

Here Draco paused again, but if Potter and Nagini were the only Horcruxes left, why would they only have to kill Nagini? Unless… Draco read on in a hurry, he had a terrible suspicion.

But what about the soul piece in me, you ask? It will be dealt with, make no mistake. And yes, for this I need to die. Sounds horrible. But I am sure that Dumbledore suspected Tom made Horcruxes and that I was one - at least since I showed him the diary in our second year and told him about my visions- and so far, he hasn't done anything to remove the soul piece or even talked with me about it. I highly suspect he would have sent me on a Horcrux-hunt and then arranged it in a way that I learned about my being one at the last moment, manipulating me into walking to Voldemort willingly, letting him kill me and destroy the last Horcrux. After this, either he or someone else would have finished Voldemort off.

And yes, I would have done it. I would do anything to prevent a war and people from dying, for more people losing their loved ones, for children ending like me. For this, I would walk to my death.

But as I made Voldemort sane again (hopefully), I don't think he wants his Horcrux to be destroyed. He would try anything to prevent something happening to me (sounds sweet). He would lock me away like a treasure.

I was locked away all my life and I would do anything to avoid it happening again, I wouldn't survive it. It is my life and I choose to end it on my terms, not as a chess piece who needs to be destroyed to get the king, or a precious treasure withering away in a golden cage.

And let's be truthful, for what reason should I stay? I did my duty, I am not needed anymore. My childhood and homelife is hell. Hogwarts was my home, but Umbridge destroyed even that and the expectations of the wizarding world are exhausting. I am tired of these burdens.

I will end my own life some time during the next two days.

Do you believe in the afterlife? I am not sure, but I hope there is something, it would mean I will see Sirius and my parents soon.

Please come to No 4, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey after the oaths frees you and you can talk about the content of this letter, it would be best to take your father and Voldemort with you. Collect the soul piece from me, it should linger for at least a day after my death. Give it back to Voldemort, it's his and should be back where it belongs.

Goodbye Draco, perhaps we could have been friends if our first meeting had happened differently. We will never know. And if you want to use everything I told you to destroy Voldemort and Dumbledore and go for world domination yourself, I am all for it. Perhaps the world needs a snobbish, arrogant but also clever and witty Slytherin to tell them all how stupid they are.

Yours,

Harry Potter

It was long after midnight when Draco finished reading and let the pages slip from his fingers. Shock and horror filling his eyes.

What should he do?

AN: So, Draco it is. I had so much fun writing the letter to him and his reaction so far.

Many thanks to a-bit-of-madness for helping to improve my grammar and spelling.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

First published: 12th of August 2018

Last edited: 6th of October 2018