Disclaimer: ASP is my Hero – But I'm not her… so I will now tell you that I take no credit for any of the characters here (except those not mentioned in the TV series)

This chapter title is property of Our Lady Peace.

A/N: This fic, while slightly AU will be very realistic. I was fortunate in being able to do some charity work in Toronto, with the homeless, and met a number of drug dealers, and prostitutes. This fic will be generally quite accurate in its story line… and will follow a Go Ask Alice/Speak format.

Second A/N: Thanks to Sum41rocks, who is beta-ing for this fic. It's my first time writing a first person present narrative, instead of third person narrative… and it's terrifyingly difficult, and well yes… that's it… please bare with me – and check out some of Sum41rocks' fics.

Rating: PG13 - R for content and mild language.

Summary: Lane experiences her first real party. She ends up drunk, and comes home to Mama Kim who is livid. In her drunken state, Lane decides its time to leave. Packing her things, she heads out for the city. The freedom is amazing – but fighting for survival is harder than she ever imagined.

WARNING – This is not a fic to read if you are looking for fluff or a light read. It is harsh, angst, and will be very gruesome at times. For Mature audiences (viewer digression advised :P)

Chapter 1: Somewhere Out There

"Okay, I'll be there." I say into the mouthpiece of the phone.

"What about your mom?" Samantha, one of my classmates asks me.

"Don't worry, it will be fine. I told her I'm helping a local student with their bible studies."

"Okay and you have the address?" she asks again.

"Yes," I say, slightly annoyed.

"Good, I'll see you there then."

"Sure."

"Nervous?" she asks.

"You have no idea," I reply honestly, feeling my stomach do flips. "I mean, I'm worried I'll get caught, and even more so that I'll look like a complete loser."

"Nah, you won't. Don't worry."

"Okay, well I need to leave now, if I want to get out of the house and change out of this really horrible outfit before the party. Oh my god, I'm going to a party"

"See you in twenty," she says laughing.

"Yea, see ya!"

I hang up the phone, glowing slightly. I've never been to a real party before. I mean I've had little kid parties, or at least been to a couple of Rory's, but this was different. I was going to go to my first High School party.

I walk downstairs, with my bag slung over my shoulder. Experience has taught me this. Clutching the bag too tightly will attract attention, just leaving it hanging, makes it almost invisible – but just to be safe, I put my bible on top of my clothes, and a note pad and paper on the side.

"Lane, where are you going?" she asks.

"I'm going to Samantha's house to help her with her bible study," I lie.

"What does she need help with?" she asks me suspiciously.

"John." I reply easily.

"Be back for dinner. We are having Tofu steak."

"Actually, Samantha's parents have asked me to stay for dinner."

"What? They do not call and ask for my permission? They just invite you and assume you can come."

"Well Mama,"

"Go. I do not want you to be rude. Next time, parents should ask first. People have no manners."

"Okay,"

I walk outside, exhaling a breath I didn't know I was holding. Smiling, I start to jog down towards Samantha's to get ready for the party.

"Oh My God." I mutter watching the disaster before me. My classmates are scattered everywhere, most attached at the lip, almost all drunk, and many passed out cold.

"Lane," a slurred voice bellows from behind me.

"Dean?" I ask, as he slings an arm over my shoulder to hold himself up. "Does Rory know you're here?"

"She's with Jess," he spit through clenched teeth.

"No, she's with you, Dean."

"Not now," he slurs

"No, not right now, but she's your girlfriend."

"Want a beer?" he asks out of nowhere.

I am caught so off guard that I hear myself saying "Okay,"

"Here," he says pushing an unopened bottle into my hands.

I look at the bottle, watching the liquid swirl around inside. 'What could it hurt?' I wonder. Watching the boy beside me twist off his cap, I mimic his actions, and scrunch up my nose at the strange smell.

I can't push the bottle to my lips. I've never done this. I'm raw. I can see it now – me getting drunk, Mama Kim placing me on house arrest for life. I'll be locked up forever, and I'll have to watch my friends go through college; get jobs; all the while working on bible study, and helping my mother wrap antiques.

"Your mom will never know," Dean says, taking a swig from his new bottle.

"To freedom," I mutter nervously. And without another thought, sip the liquid.

I look at the bottle – nothing different. My hand? Nope. Nothing happened. Everything is the same, no abnormalities, no blurred vision. I can think straight, talk normally, and focus. Smiling, I lift the bottle to my lips again. This happens for the next few minutes, before I give up the observations, and ask Dean for a second.

As he stumbles towards the counter, I can't help but wonder how he got like that. I've already had a full beer, and I don't feel any different. I'm not upset, just slightly disappointed. There is something about Dean's care free stumble which leaves me wondering what it would feel like to be drunk.

"Thanks," I say, accepting the offered bottle, and starting to dance slightly to the music in the back ground.

I stumble outside laughing. Clutching Sam's arm, I listen to her conversation with Mark, who was hosting the party.

"See you…Monday." She mumbles, tripping over her feet slightly.

"English, right?" He asks a little more together than Sam.

"Or French… or Math… or Chem.…" She trails off

"See you." He says kissing her cheek lightly. "You too Lane."

"Bye," I say through the mist I can't seem to keep out of my head.

We stagger down the street – laughing, at anything we see. Walking towards my house, I say goodbye to Sam, and lurch up the steps of my front porch. I reach for the door knob, but fall forward.

I'm caught by something soft – not the floor as I expected.

"Lane?" I hear through that cursed mist. "Lane? What is this – you smell like beer, and smoke. Where have you been?"

"Mom!" I say cheerfully. "I went to a party, and it was great. They had this amazing band, and then I had a beer, and another, and another, and I can't remember after that. But I feel fine really." I say, before reeling over and spilling the contents of my stomach on the ground.


A/N: It's a poor start. I know… But it will get better. I promise. Longer too :P