Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything in the HP Universe. I simply wish to play in J.K. Rowling's playground for my own amusement (and hopefully yours too).

AN: We are nearly at the climax. Yes, I said no letters anymore, and technically in this chapter is no letter, at least no complete letter, only parts of it.

Thanks to all of you! To everyone who followed, favoured and reviewed.

I have one little thing to mention. Yes, I love your reviews and comments, but if the only thing someone is writing is 'please update', especially directly after I uploaded the last chapter, that's not motivating at all. It puts unnecessary pressure on me. I have a real life, I have a very demanding and time-consuming job, I have family, friends and hobbies. So, as much as I love writing fanfiction, there are days I simply don't have the time to write.

This chapter is beta'ed by the brilliant a-bit-of-madness, many thanks and hugs to her.

Have fun reading.

On with the story.

Chapter 15: The last Night

Over a dark forest with only a few small settlements scattered around flew a white speck nearly silently through the night. She had a mission, and something in her hurried her to finish it and return to her wizard as fast as possible. On the edge of a small village, she finally reached a cabin hidden behind trees.

No light was on to indicate that the inhabitant was awake, but a window was open to let in the cool night breeze.

She carefully entered the small bedroom and landed directly on the bedside table, announcing her present with a hoot. The bundle on the bed shifted, revealing light brown hair flecked with grey sticking ruffled from sleep and blearily opened his eyes. The instant the man was awake enough to recognize her, he sat up, blinking at her in surprise.

"Hedwig…"

She ruffled her feathers and hooted again, lifting her leg for him to remove the letter. Green eyes only stared at her. She hooted again, louder, and moved to sit on the bed, nipping his finger where it lay on top of the blanket.

He jerked back and finally turned to take the letter from with shaking hands. He sucked in an uneven breath when he recognized the handwriting.

"Harry…" The whisper was barely loud enough to be heard by his own ears.

Satisfied, Hedwig hopped to the window ledge, hooted a quick goodbye and took flight again. The wizard still sitting in the bed tore his attention away from the letter in his hand momentarily to watch her fly away, then he was back staring at the folded parchment in his badly shaking hands. What would the letter contain? He hadn't seen Harry since the happenings in the Department of Mystery.

Was Harry angry with him? Would this letter contain his rejection of him?

He had thought a lot of the boy, his heart aching to help him in his grief, even if his own grief nearly torn him apart. Harry was the last link to his friends, the last reminder that there was once a time they all had been happy and alive.

He was such a great kid, bright and brave and gentle, with a temper to rival his mother. The outside a reminder of James, the inside of Lily, and yet Harry was still his own person, similar but different to his parents. He had started to love the teenager the little boy he had played with years ago had become.

But he had been too afraid to reach out. Too afraid of rejection. In what way could he even help Harry? He could never replace Sirius.

And then Dumbledore had sent him on a mission again, a welcome distraction from his grief. In the last two weeks he had travelled all over Europe to gather information and try to make contact with werewolf packs. He was the only one who could do it, they would never even talk with a wizard. They were wary of him and sometimes hostile, but they allowed him to present his case. He was only back in Britain for three days now.

He had reported to Dumbledore and then had disappeared to his small cabin, which nobody knew about… well Sirius had.

Then he had gotten an update on what was going on with You-Know-Who and the Wizengamot from Kingsley. It all sounded so unreal and Kingsley didn't have any news how the Order wanted to proceed now. He had seen the lines of worry and uncertainty in the Auror's face when they had met near Diagon Alley that afternoon.

He could understand it. The tale that You-Know-Who had apparently gained his sanity and had willingly stood before the Wizengamot and then had gotten away with only a slap on his hands, was frightening.

He didn't know what he should think about it, and the same unease and uncertainty he had seen in Kingsley's face squeezed his insides. Especially after the visit of Nymphadora's Patronus a few hours earlier with the call for an emergency Order meeting in the morning at the Burrow.

And now this…

As he unfolded the letter and settled back on the headboard of his bed to read it, the unease in him only grew.

The first few sentences made him put the letter down and hide his face in his hands. He couldn't believe what he had read.

Dear Remus

As you know what the lack of communication did to me last summer, I assume by the lack of it this summer that you put the blame for Sirius death on me. You are not wrong, at least not entirely. I understand you perhaps won't even read this letter or if you read it – resent me for sending it. For reminding you what had happened.

I understand if you put all the blame on me, I blamed myself too in the beginning. I needed someone to blame or the anger and grief would have destroyed me. I hope that you can move from this phase and if it means I have to bear the anger and the blame, so be it.

All I can say is, I am sorry.

He had failed him and failed him far worse than he ever could have imagined.

Remus picked up the parchment with shaking hands and read the rest of the letter through a curtain of tears.

The Burrow was silent and dark. Most of the residents were asleep. Ron had fallen into a fitful sleep, while Hermione had shifted restlessly in her bed, listening to the soft breathing of Ginny across the room. It had taken a long time till she drifted off. Arthur was snoring slightly, but not even sleep could completely smooth the lines of worry in his face.

One person was still awake however, and after hours of laying awake, Molly had slipped out of bed to make herself a cup of tea, as she had always done when sorrow, fear and conflicted thoughts kept her awake. Now she was sitting in the kitchen, cradling her third cup and still her mind wouldn't rest. The events of the day and Harry's letter were keeping her awake.

She glanced down to the parchment on the table. Harry's letter to her was now littered with smudges from teardrops. Some words were nearly impossible to read. But it didn't matter, she had memorized the content.

It was the first letter Harry had ever written to her, and now she regretted never having encouraged him to write her before. She had seen the grateful glances from the black-haired boy whenever she had treated him as one of her own. She remembered the first time she had seen him in King's Cross, small and skinny and oh so polite.

Sometimes he was still too polite.

Her eyes followed the words she had read more than once in the last hours.

You never gave me the feeling I was unwelcome, quite the contrary. Sometimes I even wished I was born with red hair, just to be more of a Weasley.

Had it been right to shut them down and decide without listening to a few more reasons from her children?

She knew that she often appeared too forceful. She knew that her children sometimes resented her for it. She had seen the glances Ron, Hermione and the twins had exchanged and had seen the expression in Bill's and Ginny's faces. She knew her children and she knew that they didn't agree with her and that they wanted to act immediately.

She could even admit that she wasn't completely sure of the right thing to do herself.

But they were in a war and these were her children and she feared for them, always, for all of them. Especially for Harry.

He was always in the middle, always getting hurt.

The mother in her wanted to apparate directly to him, to confirm that he was well and if he was not, let all hell loose to ensure the boy was safe and well again.

She could imagine that Harry was not happy in the moment. How could he be after losing his godfather and returning to his dreadful family? The mother in her screamed to get the boy to the Burrow and hug him and tell him that everything would be fine in the end.

But she also knew what consequences hasty decisions could have. She had experienced them first-hand herself.

They had been so careful in the first war against You-Know-Who. She hadn't been an active part of the Order of the Phoenix, not with that many small children at home, but her brothers - her brilliant, powerful brothers had fought. They hadn't had a secure headquarters like this time, the Order had met secretly in Hogwarts and mostly operated in cells of two to four with save house scattered all over Britain. Contact had been as sparse as possible, the risk of discovery too big. They had taken every precaution possible. But it hadn't mattered.

Fabian and Gideon had somehow gotten the news that their mother had fallen ill and had taken the risk to send an owl. The Death Eaters had tracked it back to them. They had fought bravely and had taken most of the Death Eaters down with them. They called them heroes.

She would always remember how they had found them.

She feared that trying to contact Harry would have the same consequences. So far, nothing hinted that You-Know-Who knew where Harry lived during the summer and the blood protection would ensure his safety.

But what if they apparated there and they were followed? The thought alone brought back the feelings of that awful day and the fear that it could happen again.

Every hint of magic in that area could alarm the ministry, and You-Know-Who already had his fingers everywhere in the Ministry, and now he was allowed to walk freely among the British population again.

Molly wasn't sure if she should believe that he really stopped his violent ways, that he really was sane again. And even if he was, was a sane You-Know-Who really better? And there were so many mad Death Eaters still running free, who would jump on the possibility to get to Harry.

Waiting to see what Dumbledore thought they should do seemed logical. Most of the time the old wizard knew what to do, was thinking in ways they could never dream to comprehend themselves. It had saved many lives.

But the decision Dumbledore had made regarding Harry didn't appear logical anymore. If she was true to herself, it didn't always seem as though Dumbledore had Harry's best interest in mind. She knew the old Headmaster had secrets, secrets which could cost them the war if they ever reached You-Know-Who's ear - and a lot of them concerned Harry.

But then… wasn't the war already finished now? The Death Eater activities had been sparse already for weeks and had stopped altogether two days ago.

She sighed and emptied her cup of tea.

Had it been the right decision to wait till morning? What if her children had been right? Ron and Hermione certainly knew Harry better than her; they were his best friends. Whatever he had put into their letters it had definitely rattled them. As hers had rattled her.

Would it really have been as dangerous as she thought to quickly check on him?

Uncertainty made her waver. But then she remembered how they had found the bodies of her brothers, surrounded by several death Death Eaters. How the simple decision to contact their ill mother had led to their deaths.

She wanted to prevent something similar happening. Not to one of hers. Never again.

But… were Ron and Hermione right about what they had hinted at? She had never considered that Harry could take such actions, but then she knew from experience what the loss of someone dear could do.

She glanced at the letter again.

You welcomed me into your home and your family. Thank you!

The simple sincere words brought tears to her eyes.

Over his first summer with them she had come to love Harry as if he were her own and had sworn to herself that she would give him all the love he seemed to miss. She didn't want to replace Lily, nobody could do that, but her little boy had been so deprived of love and affection that she wanted him to experience it as often as she was allowed to. She remembered vividly the surprised look Harry had had when she and Bill had visited him before the Third Task.

You stood in for my family at the third task in the Triwizard Tournament, you argued with Dumbledore on my behalf, you showed me something I had always dreamed of when I was younger. You showed me what having a family should be and I am grateful for it.

She had never realized how much it had meant to Harry until now. She smoothed the parchment and her eyes flickered over the sentences again.

And despite me being the reason more than one of your family members were in danger, you still welcomed me with open arms. I really hope your children know what they have in you.

She chuckled weakly at that. Oh, her family knew what they had in her, but they didn't always appreciate it.

The next part of the letter made her breath catch every time she even thought about it.

I was always confused why Voldemort was so set on killing me, but Dumbledore only told me the Prophecy at the end of the last school year. I don't know if it would have changed anything if I had known earlier, but I think I would have been at least a little more careful and understood the precautions and safety measures. The knowledge would have even helped with understanding why I had to stay at the Dursleys, despite not being welcome there.

Merlin and Morgana, a prophecy! That Dumbledore was even foolish enough to let something so notoriously hard to interpret and understand dictate not only Harry's life, but by consequence the efforts against You-Know-Who!

And let them guard it at the Department of Mysteries without telling them. Arthur had been seriously injured because of it! Had she known what exactly it was that they were protecting she would have told Dumbledore what she thought about Divination!

She could only agree with Harry, that if Dumbledore would share more of his secrets with them, they would all understand some of his actions better and would be more willing to agree with him. Keeping important information from them had become the Headmaster's weakness.

But Dumbledore did withhold more information that directly concerned me. Through my scar, I have a direct connection to Voldemort, I sometimes see into his mind and he can do the same and because he is an Occlumence and Legilimence, he can control this link.

And it seemed Harry thought so too.

If only I had known this last year. I would have realized - or at least I hope I would have - that the dreams and visions were sent by Voldemort to lure me into the Department. Perhaps I even would have realized the trap and Sirius would still be alive.

The lump in her throat made it hard to breath. She really hoped that Harry was not blaming himself for his godfather's death. And to have that monster in his head…

The thought alone was horrifying.

But one good thing came out of it, I managed to see the attack on Mr Weasley, at least all the horrific dreams and visions were worth it.

She had seen Harry after the attack on Arthur, after he had this horrible vision. He had looked awful and the knowledge that he had them so often made her heart bleed.

What else must the poor boy endure?

She would have a word with Dumbledore first thing in the morning. The man needed to understand how his actions- or inactions- and the withholding of information had hurt a lot of people, Harry among them.

And not only because he apparently was the cause of Harry being left with the muggles, as he had confirmed in the letter.

And did you know that it was Dumbledore that left me on the Dursleys' doorsteps in a cold November night? Fine, I only included this tidbit because I know you will scold him on my behalf for this.

She chuckled wetly at that part. Oh, this boy…

Despite all his sufferings, despite his – what she feared was more than the simple fact that he wasn't welcome there – not so perfect home, he was a gentle soul. Trying to distract from the horrible details he had described, making her laugh despite everything.

The wish to either apparate to the muggles directly or storm the castle to have a word with Dumbledore now was nearly overwhelming.

He was such a good boy and her heart broke when she thought about all the things he had already endured. She counted the day Ron decided to sit with the lonely black-haired boy on the Hogwarts Express as one of the luckiest her family ever had. And it seemed Harry agreed with her.

I am eternally grateful that Ron sat with me on the first train ride, not only because he was my first friend, but because he brought his wonderful family with him.

The way Harry had been prominent in nearly every letter that first year had made her gratitude raise for the boy.

…he stayed with me through the ordeals, through the last very tiring school year. You certainly raised him right. You raised them all right - yes even Percy, he only needs a good knock on the head. Take care of them.

Harry's friendship had meant, and still did mean, everything to her son. For that she would have loved him, but when she had the chance to really get to know him, it had been like gaining another son.

And he fit so well into her horde. Her children had taken him in as if he had been there all along. Her wonderful brilliant children.

And let the twins do their business, they are brilliant at what they do. Their products are better than Zonkos and they are businessmen, if they continue like this, they will be a huge competition. And not only times like these need a good laugh.

She was so proud of them, of all of them. The fear that this war wasn't as finished as some hoped, and that she could lose them nearly choked her.

Now I think I said everything I wanted. Thank you, Mrs Weasley, for being there when my own mother couldn't.

Take care of Ron for me.

With love,

Harry Potter.

With tears falling down on the parchment again, Molly swore to herself that whatever Dumbledore would say, she would apparate directly to Harry, the moment the Headmaster stepped through the fireplace she would inform him. Consequences be damned. Her boy needed her.

A faint noise made Marvolo rise from the light sleep he had fallen into. At one point the Malfoys and he had conjured comfortable settees and had settled down to wait. Apparently, they had all fallen asleep, if the light snoring, he still heard from somewhere on his right was an indication.

He didn't look to confirm if it was Lucius or Narcissa, there were things he didn't wanted to know about his followers. Was it even still appropriate to call them his followers? Inner circle or close associates were probably better terms.

A groan reminded him that there was another member of his inner circle in the room, who was the reason they were sleeping in the Malfoy Library to begin with. It seemed Severus and the Malfoy heir had finally separated from each other. With a groan of his own, Marvolo pushed himself into a sitting position and blinked away the sleepiness.

Even with his vision cleared he could only barely make out the two shapes still laying on the floor in the dim light. But yes, the two wizards who had been in a mind-link before, were now separated, both had moved away from each other. As he watched them for any sign that they were conscious, Severus rolled to the side and gagged. Marvolo was at his side instantly.

Thank Merlin, he didn't actually vomit. There were things in the world Marvolo preferred not to have to handle.

"Severus." He spoke as soft and soothingly as possible. He could only imagine how much strength it had cost Severus to do what he had done and in how much pain he now was.

The Potions Master gagged again but started to breathe more evenly than before. Marvolo called one of the house-elves and ordered them to bring a First Aid kit. The sound of the elf popping in and out woke the Malfoys, but Marvolo paid them no mind in the moment as they immediately knelt beside their son. Marvolo focused on the man before him, who still had his eyes closed.

"Severus, can you open your eyes or give any sign that you hear and understand me?"

Depending on what he had to do to break into the boy's mind - and Marvolo really wanted to know why – a damaged mind could be a consequence. He hoped not.

The man groaned and slowly opened his eyes, blinking and staring unfocused.

"Good, really good. Do you understand me, Severus? Can you nod, if you understand me?"

Slowly the dark eyes focused on him and then, to Marvolo's immense relief, Severus nodded. Taking one of the pain reliever potions from the First Aid kit, neatly labelled in Severus' precise handwriting, he opened the glass vile and helped the Potions Master to drink it. Sadly, he couldn't give the man a potion to counter the magical and mental exhaustion, as it would react badly with the magical residue from mind magic.

Only moments later Severus sighed in relief and sank back to the floor. Marvolo decided to give the man a few moments before he tried to speak with him again and shifted his attention to the Malfoy family. He could see the boy breathing, but he didn't respond to any attempt of his parents.

He stood up from his position and joined the Malfoys. Narcissa was caressing her son's face and talking in a soft soothing voice with him.

"Draco, darling, we are here. You are safe. Can you please open your eyes or let us know you are here, too?" There was no reaction from the boy.

Marvolo looked at Lucius, who had a pained expression on his face.

"He doesn't react to our voices, but his breath which was laboured shortly after he and Severus separated is steady and normal. He moved by his own to settle on his side and gave a weak groan, but since then nothing." Lucius' voice went weak at the end.

Marvolo looked at the boy again. Breaking into someone's mind could have several effects on the mind of the one violated, especially someone who had mind shields of his own and had the magic of an oath protecting the information the attacker was after. Both of these were factors in this case, if he had read the situation correctly.

The boy could come out of it with a shattered mind, insane like people who had spent too long under the Cruciatus Curse or prolonged exposure to Dementors. He could be lost in his own mind and appear like the victim of the Dementor's kiss. His mind could be partially damaged, which could lead to memory loss and personality changes. His shield could be damaged irreparably, making his mind vulnerable for every kind of mind magic and often leading to emotional instability.

Marvolo didn't know what he should wish the boy. He never had children and never wanted one. Even with his newfound sanity and emotions, he couldn't imagine what Lucius and Narcissa felt in the moment.

A weak voice brought Marvolo out of his musing.

"Draco… fine… sleep… exhaustion."

Three heads snapped to the side where Severus had moved his head to look at them.

"You are sure?" Lucius whispered while Narcissa looked at him with hope in her eyes. When Severus nodded, both relaxed in relief for a moment, then the blond woman called a house-elf and ordered it to settle Draco in his bed.

She kissed her husband on the cheek and quickly stopped to squeeze Severus' shoulder, before leaving the Library to wait on her son's bedside till he woke up.

Lucius and Marvolo helped Severus to a settee. Despite the pain reliever, the black-haired man still looked like he was in agony, and he was too exhausted to keep his eyes open for a prolonged amount of time.

"Why did you do this, Severus? Did Draco receive a letter from Potter?" Lucius enquired.

Severus nodded.

"Oath… had to break… Draco… behaviour… suspicious…" The Potions Master's voice trembled from exhaustion, but he still tried to explain.

"Told… everything… Prophecy… Horcrux… homelife… not…"

Marvolo slowly leaned forward as Severus' voice grew even fainter.

"What is it Severus? Did Potter tell Draco what he wanted to do regarding the Horcrux? Is he in danger? Is there something we can do?" Marvolo asked after Severus grew silent and only took several shaky breaths but after a while he nodded.

"Potter… wants to… Horcrux… back… you… help… danger to… stupid boy… stupid… foolish…"

Tears started to run down Severus face the sight disturbing Marvolo greatly. Never had he seen the stoic Potions Master cry, not even out of pain under round and round of Cruciatus.

"What Severus? Danger to whom?"

The next words coming from Severus were inaudible, but when Marvolo leaned further down he caught the last whispers which left Severus' lips before he fell unconscious.

"To himself… I'm sorry Lily… so sorry…"

Marvolo could only stare at the implication and hoped he heard wrong, but by the look in Lucius' eyes, he had heard it too.

AN: Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think.

First published: 27th of July 2019