Well, hi...
It's been about five months since I last updated. I'm not sure how that's possible. I have no compelling excuse to give. All I can say is that life really got in the way and the longer I stayed away from writing the more out of practice I got and from there my confidence definitely waivered.
Despite being so excited to finally reach the Cotillion chapter in this story, I had the most difficult time getting this section written. It didn't come easy to me at all and I am worried that will show. In reading this update, it might not seem like my best work but please just bear with me as I get myself back into my writing groove. Being away for so long created a real disconnect for me with these characters but by forcing myself to get this update posted I slowly could feel it all coming back to me. So, be patient, I promise better work from me is coming lol.
As always, I want to thank all of you that have shown me and this story such wonderful support. I cherish each and every one of you more than words can possibly describe and reading through all your old reviews and PM's really helped keep me motivated when I found myself struggling to get back into my writing.
Being gone for so long surely sends the message that I don't care about this story but that is so far from the truth. Not only do I care, but I also have big, BIG, things planned for this story that I'm so excited to write and for you all to be able to experience through reading it. So, please just stick with me and I promise I won't disappear for that long again.
Lastly, a short (very short) love letter to my absolute rock during all this time - S, you are a gem and I am so grateful I get to have you as a friend inside and outside of this crazy FF world. You never lost faith in me and my ability to finish this never-ending update and you so greatly inspired me to stay motivated (whether intentional or not) through all of our random GG discussions lol. I seriously don't know where I would be without your support, so thank you.
WARNING:
VULGAR LANGUAGE, TEENAGE ALCOHOL USE
WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS.
All rights to 'Gossip Girl'; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to their infamy and status will be made, any mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true-life family.
"Be careful walking down the primrose path. You may find Hell instead of happily-ever-after."
December
"Ooh, me next, me next!"
Blair all but lunged off the couch towards the robust Christmas Tree in the center of the room. She eyed the various remaining presents, carefully reading the tag of each in search of her own name. A smile breaks across her face, putting her dimples on full display as she finally eyes it. As she gives the package a small shake she almost resembles that of a small child.
It was odd, for Dan especially, to see Blair look so innocent and joyful. He was mainly used to her terrorizing the halls of Constance in typical mean girl fashion, but moments like this gave rare insight to a side of Blair that wasn't often seen.
"It Happened One Night. On DVD. Gee, thanks."
The moment was fleeting.
Dan lets out a hearty sigh, "Serena told me you were a big fan of old Hollywood films and that is one of my favorites."
"Yeah, I've seen it already. Poor boy, with a failed writing career, somehow manages a beautiful rich girl into a romance he's so clearly unworthy of. I'm sure it is one of your favorites."
Serena lightly kicks the tip of Nate's shoe to get his attention before nudging her head to Blair.
Unable to ignore Serena's intent Nate leans forward and caresses Blair's arm, "You love to rewatch movies though Blair, and your old copy of this one is all scratched."
"Plus, Clark Gable is totally hot," Odette interjects before popping a piece of peppermint chocolate into her mouth.
"Well, he's certainly no Cary Grant... But I suppose you're right." Turning back to Dan, Blair forces a tight smile, "Thank you, Dan."
It didn't sound all that sincere but Dan didn't really care. He never wanted to be part of this Secret Santa shenanigans, to begin with. These people were not his friends, he knew that, but he was dating Serena and she insisted he participate.
This entire hang-out was essentially a date for each of the pairings though and the idea of being on some weird group date with Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf, two people he absolutely despised, felt like a complete fever dream.
Everyone could probably sense Dan's unease if they cared enough to pay attention. Most of the group didn't but Odette did feel a sense of pity for him. This group had such a mix of dominating personalities and Dan was so different from them all. She could only imagine how difficult this was. The fact he was willing to stomach it for the evening said a lot about not only how much he cared for Serena, but his character.
"Why don't you go next Dan?" Odette settles back in between Chuck's legs as she smiles sweetly to Dan.
Dan's eyes flicker to Odette, then around the room. Blair was now seated back on the floor, her arms firmly wrapped across her chest. Chuck was on the couch and leaning over to show Nate something on his phone who was switching his attention between his own phone and whatever Chuck was showing him. Besides Serena and Odette, mostly everyone looked uninterested. He couldn't be surprised though.
"Uh, sure, sure." Standing up he walks over to the tree, making sure to carefully step over Blair's legs as to not step on her. He did still note that she huffed in annoyance at having to move even slightly out of his way but he wasn't about to acknowledge it and further intensify the already tense atmosphere between them.
Sifting through the remaining gifts Dan finally spots a present wrapped neatly in butcher paper and tied off with twine with his name scribbled in cursive in the upper left corner. The gift looked professionally wrapped and knowing this crowd it probably was. It resembled the type of present you'd see in the backdrop of fancy Christmas cards or in home magazines. Thinking of the time and effort someone put into making this look so nice made Dan feel guilty about tearing it up. Instead, he carefully moved his fingers along the edge trying his best to carefully open the packaging.
"You don't have to be so gentle, Dan. We don't save the wrapping paper. Just tear it open!" Serena exclaims as she claps her hands together. She was more excited than Dan it seemed.
Of course, none of these people saved the wrapping paper. Why would they need to?
Dan tears one end off before slipping the box out. It was decently sized and certainly reminded him how inadequate his own gift was. This was another reason he had no interest in participating in tonight's festivities. It was no secret that everyone else in this group was much better off than himself and gifting each other pricy presents was expected and no cause of concern for any of them. They all had practically bottomless bank accounts that were constantly replenishing without them needing to lift a finger while Dan, on the other hand, had to work for every last dollar to his name. He had been employed at a local Indian restaurant around the corner from his loft for the last three years and while he had managed to save up a decent amount of money he had noticed it steadily decreasing the longer he was involved with Serena. She knew he came from a different background than her and didn't expect him to try to keep up with her and her friend's lifestyle but being with Serena meant going out, attending events, and in this case buying gifts for people he hated.
Blair's DVD hadn't been incredibly pricey but it still pained him to spend money on the likes of her. Especially knowing she wouldn't appreciate it anyway. Now that it was his turn to be on the receiving end of this gift exchange he found himself feeling even more inferior. Everyone else spent so much money on each other's gifts, his own included it seemed, and all he brought was a measly DVD.
Lifting the lid up and removing the tissue paper Dan is left stunned at the contents inside.
"What is it?" Serena leans forward eagerly, trying to peer into the box from across the room. "Hold it up so we can all see!"
Dan swallows the lump building in his throat before lifting the tailored suit up for the others to see.
Judging by the pleased, but surprised, gasp from both Blair and Serena, it was clear neither of them was the gracious gift-giver.
"Armani? Your Secret Santa knows a good suit." And is very generous. Go figure that the cheapest gift giver of the group would get the nicest gift. Blair can't help but grimace at the thought.
At this statement, both Serena and Dan look over to Chuck who is still clearly more entertained by his own phone than the scene playing out before him.
Feeling several sets of eyes settle on him, Chuck glances up at the group, "While I'm flattered that when you think of good suits you think of me I would never buy Armani for a Humphrey. That would be the equivalent of putting it on a homeless person - pointless and depreciates the value."
"Oh, that's real nice Chuck!" Serena shoots daggers at him to which Chuck only shrugs before looking back at his phone, "Ignore him, Dan. That suit is fabulous and can only be made better by you wearing it."
To this, Blair winces slightly before shrugging. She agreed the suit was fabulous but she couldn't deny that her thoughts on Dan were more in line with Chuck's than Serena's.
"Well, we can rule out Chuck as my Secret Santa. And I'm pretty sure it's neither of you." Dan looks between Blair and Serena who both shake their heads.
"Nate?"
Hearing Serena suggests him, Nate sticks his hands up in defense, "Not me. A dude buying a suit for another dude is super weird."
"I'm so offended your mind would go to Chuck before me?" Odette feigns a pout before smiling brightly. "Jenny helped me with the sizing but if you have any issues I can get you an appointment with my grandfather's tailor."
Dan stares dumbfounded at Odette for a moment before he can speak. "You bought me a suit?
Despite seeming mostly uninterested during the entire gift exchange process, after Odette revealed herself as Dan's Secret Santa, Chuck tucked his phone away into his pocket and suddenly appeared very focused on what was playing out before them all.
Noticing his friends' sudden interest, Nate snickers to himself. For being typically so unbothered, Chuck really didn't know the first thing about playing it cool when it came to showing his jealousy. That stemmed from his lack of experience, of course. After all, Chuck might be seen as some sort of sexual savant but his knowledge of women, and how to act around them, only benefited him in the bedroom.
"Yeah, I was pretty stoked when I drew your name just because there were so many possibilities. But I ultimately decided the best gifts are the one's we wouldn't buy for ourselves and I remembered from my birthday party that you mentioned not having a suit, so..." Odette trails off as she looks over the suit jacket and then back up at Dan, "I hope you like it."
"I do, but I don't think I can accept this." Dan didn't know how much Armani suits were running these days or any days for that matter. It was nothing he ever expected to be able to own and therefore knew little to nothing about the brand. However, he did know they were expensive.
"Of course you can! I told you that night, every man needs a good suit. Plus, maybe it'll come in handy soon." Odette wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, "Like, in a couple of weeks maybe?"
Serena lets out a breathy sigh as she tosses her thick blonde hair out of her face, "If you're hinting at Cotillion, I already told you that I'm not participating."
Blair looks at her friend completely miffed, "I thought the only reason you weren't going is that you didn't want to send Dan into debt by being your escort?" She turns her attention to Dan, "You wouldn't know this but participating in Cotillion is pretty expensive."
"Blair! I never said that."
"Yeah, it's also pretty dated. Which is the real reason Serena has no interest in participating...I think."
Hope.
Regardless of how lame Dan thought it was, the idea of Serena missing out on something she really wanted to do because of him felt like a punch in the gut. He never wanted to hold her back from anything just because they were from different worlds. Though, deep down, he knew he did which is probably why he had this perpetual chip on his shoulder. Looking back to Odette he nods to her appreciatively, "Thank you."
"No problem."
Leaning forward, Chuck hovers over where Odette was seated on the ground in front of him, "Well, that was a pretty thoughtful gift."
Overhearing this comment, Blair can't help but laugh, "That's the entire point of the exchange? Don't act like such a jealous boyfriend, Chuck."
Chuck stiffens at the way that word rolls off Blair's tongue so easily. It was obviously no secret that he and Odette had been hanging out a lot but it still made him uncomfortable to hear anyone in their friend group refer to them as some type of couple. Especially Blair, given their sordid history.
His lips pull into a small frown as he moves away from Odette and sinks back into his spot on the couch, "I'm definitely neither of those things."
Odette felt a twinge in her chest at the sudden coldness of his tone.
Sensing a small disconnect between the two, Blair narrows her eyes as she debates how to draw an even bigger wedge between them. It's not that she wanted them to stop seeing each other but well, she needed them to stop seeing each other. The longer things carried on the more serious it would get and the more chances that would arise for Chuck to confess his wrongdoings to Odette. If they stopped seeing each other her dirty little secret could die alongside their failed situation-ship.
"Chuck, who are you escorting again?"
The sudden shift of attention to Chuck caught Odette by surprise - as did Blair's question. Cocking her head slightly out of confusion, Odette answers for him, "Chuck isn't escorting anyone?"
"Oh? I could have sworn one of the girls mentioned he was but maybe not." Blair shrugs innocently before casting Odette a side-eye of pity.
Catching Blair's look, Odette turns back to face Chuck, "Are you someone's escort?"
"Yeah, I'm escorting Raquel Fusilier. I thought I had told you."
Her face reflects a mixture of shock and horror at his response.
"Mm, nope, you didn't."
"Hm, thought I did."
Chuck's tone is so nonchalant and his attitude of indifference sends Odette into a silent rage. Her eyes, normally calm pools of blue, flashed with anger as she stared him down.
Recognizing the look of displeasure on Odette's face, so familiar to her own, Blair speaks up, "I think the cookies are just about ready. Let's go check with Dorota, girls."
Feeling the air between himself and Odette grow thick with hostility, Chuck tries to reach out to gently run his fingers along her back as she rises from the floor. But, she easily, and very obviously, shrugs off his touch before following after the other two.
Nate manages to contain his laughter until the girls are out of the main room, and therefore out of earshot, "Someone's in trouble."
Hearing his comment, Chuck rolls his eyes before shoving Nate, "Whatever. She has no reason to be upset, we're not together."
"Yeah, you keep making that abundantly clear..." Dan had meant to say this under his breath but it was instantly very clear both guys had heard as they turned to face him.
"What was that?"
"Raquel Fusilier? Seriously?" Odette hisses to the two girls as they make their way into the kitchen. "Guys, I'm not ridiculous for being upset about this, right?"
"Depends. Are you upset about him escorting someone or not telling you?" Serena doesn't look at Odette as she talks, her eyes are completely transfixed on the trays of cookies before her. It's not that she wasn't sympathetic to her friends' situation but her sweet tooth was distracting. Cookies would always interest her more than the likes of Chuck Bass.
"Both? Is it not reasonable to be upset about both?"
Blair leans against the kitchen island, directly across from Odette.
She opens her mouth to say something but then quickly purses her lips.
"What?" Odette felt slightly overwhelmed by the range of emotions she was experiencing and she desperately needed one of them to say something. Anything.
"Isn't she a Marymount girl?"
Anything but that.
Odette can feel her breathing pattern become more labored as her stomach twists into knots, "I hadn't even thought about that."
Marymount was an all-girls Catholic school, like Constance Billard. Unlike Constance, Marymount didn't have a brother school and so the attendees were rather deprived of the male gaze. Which, according to all the girls from the different schools, made the Marymount girls starved for attention and therefore easy. Except, the concept of easy became slightly different when one factored in that most Marymount girls were true Catholics saving themselves for marriage. There were ways around this though... this being a well-known joke about Catholic girls as a whole. But it was tested by several overly eager boys and proven to be true more times than not.
Yes, Marymount girls did that thing that most girls refused to do. Which in turn, made them very popular with the boys.
"She's going to let him stick it in her ass, isn't she?" Odette buried her head in both her hands. If she wasn't on the verge of tears the topic of anal sex would have made her flush red in embarrassment, but she didn't have the energy to be timid.
This was terrible.
"Oh, Dette... come on, don't get like that." Serena grabs a silver platter full of cookies and walks them over to her.
Blair joins both blondes, rubbing Odette's back gingerly, "Let's be honest here, I'm sure it won't be the first time a girl has let him do that."
"Blair!" Odette stares at her friend dumbfounded, "That's so not helpful right now!"
Despite the timing being completely inappropriate, Serena lets out a small laugh. As both girls look at her, she lets out another, "I'm sorry, I just can't believe we're talking about anal sex, in Eleanor Waldorf's kitchen, as Silent Night plays in the background."
The three of them briefly look around at each other before becoming completely silent as they try to listen to the subtle music that's been playing throughout the Waldorf home all night.
So subtle that they had mostly tuned it out, but as the room fell silent the vocals could be heard so clearly.
At that exact moment, Dorota enters the kitchen with a full tray of empty coffee mugs, singing along to the music in broken English as she makes her way to the double sink, "Round yon virgin, mother and child."
Sometimes it felt good to laugh when you really wanted to cry. And right now Odette really wanted to cry, so instead, she burst into a fit of giggles, and Blair and Serena quickly joined her.
Dorota, caught off guard by their sudden gregarious laughter and unsure of what was so funny, smiled at them before joyfully cheering, "Happy Holidays!"
"Happy Holidays, Dorota." Serena and Odette manage out between laughter in near-perfect synchronization.
Blair doesn't say anything but moves to give the polish woman a tight side-hug before breaking into laughter once more.
"What was that?"
Now standing, Chuck repeats himself.
"Nothing, man."
"No, it wasn't nothing. So, speak up." Narrowing his eyes, Chuck makes a step in Dan's direction which then causes Nate to get up and take hold of his shoulder to prevent him from moving anymore and escalating things further.
Dan knew his best bet here was to just bite his tongue. Regardless of how hard it was.
"Aren't you a writer or something? I'd expect you to be more articulate, and be able to say something much more profound." Scoffing, Chuck shakes Nate's hand off him before moving back to his seat.
"I'm very well-spoken actually, I just don't see the point in wasting my words on deaf ears." Dan makes a point to keep eye contact with Chuck as he speaks and counts it as a small win when Chuck is the first to break eye contact.
"Oh, I get it. You start dating Serena and think you're some type of expert. Do I look like someone who would ever take advice from you?"
As Chuck looks back at him, his mouth hangs slightly open to the point that Dan can see the slight gap in his front teeth. He imagines what it would feel like to knock those stupid teeth out of his mouth.
Chuck Bass had been an asshole to Dan since Freshman year. He was truly the worst and Dan couldn't believe he allowed himself to be in this situation - left alone with Chuck and his best friend. It was an unfair setup because while Nate might try to calm him down he'd never actually go against his friend. Even if he knew he was wrong. He was an asshole too.
All these people were.
"Well, if you're going to take my advice on anything it should be about fixing your teeth. Or if you can't, at least keep your mouth closed because when the air blows through it, it sounds like your whistling."
Chuck's overly smug facade crumbles, but only momentarily, "You're such a little bitch, Humphrey. Insulting someone on their appearance is something the girls do. So pathetic..." He murmurs the last part under his breath as he relaxes back into his seat.
Being a bystander to this argument was making Nate feel incredibly awkward. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to be at home, listening to his music and smoking several joints.
"I wasn't insulting you, that was genuine advice. If I wanted to insult you I'd talk about what a miserable asshole you are and how I don't understand how you have any friends - let alone a girl like Odette, that could actually care about you. But something tells me you'll find a way to screw it all up and be left with no one because at the end of the day, you're fucking unlikable, Chuck. You hook up with all these girls to feel like you're something and act like that's all they're good for but in truth... that's all your good for! None of those girls would actually want to date you, and you know that so you've created this fuckboy persona to mask the fact you're actually just terrified of rejection. And that fear of rejection probably stems from something predictable. Like your dad not loving you enough. Am I close? Was that profound enough for you, asshole?"
Dan's comments struck a nerve with Chuck.
Mainly because he knew all of it was true.
Chuck was miserable and had been for as long as he could remember. He surrounded himself with people that mostly just tolerated him and called them his friends. He let them use him for money, drugs, access, all so that he wouldn't be alone. Nate was his only true friend and Odette was one of the few girls that actually showed genuine interest in him outside of what he could offer materialistically or physically, and look at what he had done to them. He slept with Nate's long-term girlfriend and Odette's best friend.
It was one of the worst things he could do and if that truth ever came out it would destroy everything. But every time he was around either of them he felt the truth ripping its way through his chest, demanding to be spoken.
He couldn't say anything but a part of him wanted to.
A bigger part of him wasn't prepared to lose the only people that actually cared about him. He was terrified of being rejected by them.
Dan Humphrey didn't know him so how did he know him so well.
'But something tells me you'll find a way to screw it all up and be left with no one'
That felt like a dig at something bigger than just this fight.
That felt like a clear threat.
Dan clearly knew something that would jeopardize everything for Chuck.
Suddenly the image of Serena's disapproving face at the Rockefeller's Christmas Party flashed before his eyes.
Serena was the only person that knew about him and Blair and while he was fairly certain she wouldn't snitch on Blair... Dan Humphrey, on the other hand, had no loyalty to Blair or Chuck. Was that what his threat was about? Was Dan going to tell Odette and Nate?
Getting up from the couch once more, Chuck moves quickly to Dan and grabs him by his collar. He pulls him in close and hisses in his ear, "I don't know what Serena told you, but you better keep your mouth shut."
Dan's eyebrows furrow in confusion as he hears these words and instinctively he reaches forward and shoves Chuck back a step to create some much-needed distance between them.
Nate's eyes grow wide in disbelief as he watches the scene before him unfold. Before things can intensify any further, he grabs Chuck by the shoulder once more, "Come on Chuck, don't do this."
"Me don't do this? What about him!" The argument sounded more child-like than he intended but he didn't appreciate his best friend not backing him up against this nobody.
"I didn't do anything but tell the truth."
"Didn't I tell you to keep your mouth shut!" Chuck moves towards Dan again, this time getting a shove in on him as well. As Dan stumbles back, the back of his knees hit the coffee table sending a sharp pain up his legs and causing the stack of porcelain dessert dishes to fall to the marble floor.
Alerted by the distinct sound of glass breaking, the three girls hurry back into the main living room just as a piece of dish shoots off in their direction.
"What are you doing?" Blair all but screams as she runs to inspect the broken dishes closer. "My mother is going to kill me!"
"I'm sorry, Blair." Dan completely loathed the fact he was having to apologize to Blair but regardless of his personal opinion of her, he knew that he and Chuck were in the wrong and that she had every right to be upset. "I'll..."
Hearing Dan trail off Chuck shakes his head in dismay, "What? You'll buy her new ones?" Of course, he wouldn't. Because he couldn't. "I'll take care of it, Blair. Have Dorota send me the details."
As Serena wraps her arms around him, she searches Dan's eyes for some kind of answer or explanation as to what happened in the short time they were gone. But he didn't feel like explaining himself to her or any of her stupid friends.
Of course, Chuck was the jerk who started all this with him, and yet he got to look like the more decent one of the two because he could afford to replace the Waldorf's expensive dishes.
"Chuck, buddy, let's get some fresh air." As Nate spoke, Odette noticed that he sounded tired - very tired.
Watching as Chuck follows his friend towards the elevator, Odette moves to console Blair over her mother's broken dishes.
With everyone else out of the room or distracted, Serena pulls Dan aside.
"Are you okay? What happened?"
Dan stays quiet for a long time before responding with the one thing he had been thinking all night, "I told you I didn't want to do Secret Santa with your friends."
Nate hoped the brisk December-night air would sober Chuck up a bit. He rarely ever saw him get as heated as he had during the interaction with Dan upstairs.
What had even started the fight between the two of them? At this point, he truly couldn't rememeber. Turning to look at his friend, he watches as he puffs away on a cigarette.
He seemed dangerously on edge.
"What was that up there?"
"You tell me." Chuck turns to Nate, using the same aggressive stance he did with Dan. It was clear he was looking for a fight at this point. "You're supposed to be my friend, where was the backup?"
Nate was slightly offended by the implication that he wasn't a good friend, "I am your friend but that doesn't mean I have to cosign your behavior, Chuck. You were looking to start something with him." Before Chuck can fire something back, Nate continues, "Look, I really have a lot on my plate with my dad and stuff. I don't want to argue about something that doesn't matter. Can we just let this go?"
As angry as Chuck was feeling, he knew it was a projection. He wanted a reason to be mad at everyone because he was upset with himself. Nate did have plenty going on with his home life, he didn't need this added drama. "Yeah." But he wouldn't apologize. "How are things with The Captain?"
Jamming his hands in his pocket, Nate shrugs as he feels his entire body grow tense at even the mention of his father. "Fine, I guess. Rehab is doing wonders for him, according to my mom."
"Is she still telling everyone it was a heart attack?"
"Yup." Nate cracks a smile, although nothing about this situation made him happy. However, it was just too ridiculous to even say with a straight face, "And supposedly the heart attack triggered nerve damage in his arm so now he's staying at a physical therapy resort out in Eastchester."
It wasn't exactly unheard of for people in their circles to lie about certain things in an attempt to cover up the more sinister or embarrassing truths. But, it was exhausting for Nate to feel like he was the only one taking his father's drug problem seriously. His mother wanted so desperately to sweep it all under the rug and keep Howard's image as pristine as possible so that when he returned things could go back to normal. But things shouldn't return to normal.
The Captain needed real help with his very real problem - help that this phony rehab facility, strictly designated for the uber-rich, wasn't going to give him.
The most frustrating aspect of it all was that Anne didn't seem to realize how close to death Howard had been.
Nate would listen to her spew off these lies about a heart attack and physical therapy to her family and society friends, constantly. It was disgusting to watch her lie again, and again.
It was so easy for her.
Like breathing.
It was almost like she didn't rememeber how terrified they both had been the night he overdosed. Sitting in that hospital waiting room, not knowing if he was alive or dead.
They ended up being lucky that time, but who's to say they would be so fortunate again?
At the root of it all though, Nate felt guilty.
He had caught his dad doing lines and instead of trying to talk to him about it, he had been avoiding him, mostly. A few weeks later he overdosed and all Nate could do in that waiting room was pray to God that his father wouldn't die. If not for Howard's own well-being, then selfishly for his own.
If his father had passed there was no way Nate would be able to forgive himself.
'They had been waiting for hours, or that's what it felt like at least. The uncertainty of his father's condition was making him crazy. Normally so easy-going and calm, Nate felt like he might lose his cool at any moment and wreak havoc on this entire waiting room.
Blair had been gripping his hand so tightly he lost sensation in his fingertips, but he didn't care. All his thoughts were focused on his dad and how he failed him by not saying anything when he knew there was a problem.
A father sneaking lines at a family function was not normal. Why didn't he say anything? He could have prevented this whole thing.
If Howard didn't make it out of this it was just as much Nate's fault as it was his own.
He could have talked to his dad, gotten him help, got his mom involved, anything. Anything would have been better than doing what he did - absolutely nothing.
As a Doctor walked towards them with deliberation, Nate felt like his rapidly beating heart would spring forward out of his chest at any given moment. Everything started to feel like an out-of-body experience as he stood up, alongside his mother and moved to meet the Doctor halfway.
This would go one of two ways, The Captain would be okay and Nate would need to do everything he didn't do the first time to get him help. Or, this Doctor would give the crushings news that he didn't make it. At which point Nate knew his own fate would be sealed as well.
There was no way he'd be able to live with the guilt and in turn, would go home and find Howard's hunting rifle and do what needed to be done.
Time stood completely still as he waited to hear which scenario it would be.'
Howard had survived and Nate was relieved but he also had expectations for himself and what he needed to do to help his father. Which was partly why he was so desperate for his mother to take it more seriously.
He had a taste of what that guilt felt like, what it compelled him to want to do. He couldn't be put in that situation again. He wouldn't make it.
"We say what we have to, to get by I suppose." Chuck knew that better than anyone, but he was also aware it wasn't exactly the most comforting statement, "I'm sorry you're having to go through this."
"Thanks."
Before either of them can say anything more on the matter, Odette walks out of the building and moves around them to begin walking down the sidewalk.
Surprised, Chuck calls after her "You're leaving?"
"Yup."
Tossing his cigarette down, he stomps it out before moving after her, "Hold on, I'll call Arthur."
"Don't bother. I'd honestly rather walk than be stuck in a car with you right now."
Chuck is taken aback by her hostile tone.
Stopping in his tracks, he watches her retreating figure.
She never even looked back at him as she walked up the street and disappeared amongst the hordes of people.
"Do you think she's pissed about Cotillion?"
Nate wasn't always the smartest when it came to academics or common sense, but even he wasn't that dumb.
"She's definitely pissed about Cotillion."
Blair prided herself in being the best at anything she did and the debutante season was no exception.
Everything they taught in the required classes leading up to the Cotillion ball were things that Blair already knew and made a point to master. She was everything a debutant should be - she was poised, had beautiful social graces, and was a class act through and through.
For the most part.
Always eager to have the opportunity to impress the women of high society, whom she hoped to join one day, she all but jumped at the opportunity to host a tea for Serena's grandmothers that Sunday afternoon. Even though Serena wasn't making her debut, CeCe still served on the women's board for the Debutante Ball and relished in the opportunity to visit for the big event.
And Blair relished in being best friends with Serena and being able to host the entire board under the ruse of celebrating CeCe's return.
Like all things, Blair had planned the afternoon out in perfect detail. She checked with Serena on four different occasions to be sure that she had the tea that CeCe liked. Dorota had been up all night prepping the many delicate finger foods that would go untouched amongst this group of women. Lastly, she bought all new linens and decorative china just for the occasion. She was doing everything she could to make a wonderful impression on the entire board and everything was going according to her well-thought-out and rehearsed plan until Dan showed up.
"Why are you here?"
There were about twenty variations of tea sandwiches to choose from and Dan had been deciding between a few when he heard Blair stomp her way in his direction. With a sigh, he turns to face her, "As you know, Serena's grandmother is," he looks around, almost as if to make sure no one will hear, "CeCe is pretty sick." He wasn't sure if it was necessarily a secret but if it was, it wasn't one he wanted to be caught repeating, "So, Serena is doing the Cotillion thing to make her happy. I can't escort her because my mom has an art show that night, but I figured I could give some moral support today. Plus, I haven't really had a chance to get to know CeCe and I know it would mean the world to Serena if we could get along."
Blair had pretty much tuned Dan out as soon as he started to ramble. He had a habit of droning on excessively. Even more so when he was nervous, which he clearly was. "Okay, well just please don't break any more of our dishes this weekend. Or any other, for that matter."
"That wasn't only my fault, you know?"
"I didn't ask. I'm just telling you, if you make a scene in front of these women, Humphrey..." She doesn't finish the thought knowing she doesn't need to. Letting Dan's imagination run wild with the possibilities was much more fun.
Across the room, Odette was planted in her spot on one of the couches and was mostly zoned out. Since she was technically a sophomore she was too young to participate in Cotilion alongside all her friends. She didn't really care though, she found the whole thing to be a pretty big snooze. Etiquette and ballroom dancing classes delighted the Blair Waldorfs of the world but they weren't for everyone and they weren't for her. However, her grandmother was Chairwoman of the Board and insisted on dragging her along to all these mini-events leading up to the big one.
Normally, she wouldn't mind all that much. After all, she adored her grandmother and would do just about anything for her, including attending this pretentious afternoon tea. However, in light of recent events, Cotillion felt like a really sore subject and anything attached to it felt like rubbing salt in her open, and bleeding, wound.
She still hadn't recovered from Chuck's reveal about escorting someone to the Debutante Ball.
Raquel.
Her face twists in disgust as she imagines the beautiful white dress she will likely be wearing. All-white, as was tradition, to show a womans' purity.
From the excessive amount of digging she had done into Raquel over the weekend, she had learned more about her than she probably should. She had broken her left arm in grade school, she had a lesbian experience at equestrian camp one summer - but, hadn't everyone? Her mother was most definitely having an affair with the gardener - so predictable, and Raquel had no idea. According to several sources she had zero qualms about 'butt stuff'. And lastly, she was a strict vegetarian and was vehemently opposed to eating meat. However, she did eat fish. Which made about as much sense as being a virgin that has anal sex.
The deep dive into Raquel was intended to make her feel better about the whole situation but it hardly did that. If anything she was much more on edge.
"Hasn't anyone told you that making faces like that will cause frown lines?"
Pulled from her, bordering on obsessive, thoughts, Odette glances up and is immediately taken aback. Standing before her in a slate grey suit, with tousled brown hair and a cheeky smirk on his face, was Carter Baizen.
"Hasn't anyone told you that you shouldn't speak unless spoken to."
Ignoring her slight jeer, Carter moves to sit in the armchair directly next to where she's seated on the couch. "How goes it, Dee-Dee?"
Odette and Carter had a history. Not of the romantic kind, but history nonetheless.
He had been best friends with her older brother Theo all throughout school and was close with her entire family because of it. He had attended her birthday parties and other family events on more than one occasion - usually, he and Theo were high off their asses on something, but still, he was always there. Because of his close friendship with her brother Carter knew plenty of embarrassing things about her. Like her family's affectionate pet name for her, and it rolled off his tongue a little too easily for her liking.
She stares at him pointedly, refusing to entertain him with an answer. Odette knew Carter well enough to know he was always looking to get a rise out of people and he thrived off the satisfaction of knowing he was getting under their skin. He only got away with being such a menace because he managed to be so charming. Odette had never personally understood the appeal, however. Though this was likely because just as he knew her, she knew him a little too well and it was all too obvious to her that his overconfidence and keen flirting skills were all a mask to cover up what a sad person he truly was.
Carter had his vices. Maybe not as bad as Theo's, but they were there.
He kept them at bay for a time and could present himself as a normal, functioning person, but he could only keep up that front for so long. Eventually, he'd crack and when he did it was always ugly. He'd blow up everything in his life and run away from the problems in which he created.
Carter liked to pretend he was 'so woke' in the ways of the real world.
He claimed to have found some form of enlightenment when he was cut off from his parents once and ended up in India and ever since anytime he found himself in a similar situation, he would try to convince other people to give everything up and come with him so they could be enlightened too.
None of it was real though.
He didn't want to go off and live in these other countries. He would still be here wearing freshly tailored suits, eating expensive food, and blowing through his trust fund if he had the choice. He only took off because he had to. Whether that be because his parents cut him off again, or because he was in legal trouble... Regardless, he always fled in an attempt to avoid his problems. After some time he'd return and boast highly about his travels and convince others they needed to do the same. Not because he truly believed it but because the next time he ran he didn't want to be broke and lonely. And he was so damn charming - with a voice like silk, that people ate up every word he spoke and completely bought into the web of lies he spun so expertly.
Carter Baizen was a glorified conman and most recently he had somehow convinced his younger brother to come along for the ride.
Isaac Baizen was very different from Carter. While the two looked very similar in appearance, Isaac didn't have the smugness that his older brother wore like a badge of honor. He was much shyer, much kinder, and overly trusting to a fault.
Which Carter exploited like he does all things.
Odette harbored serious resentment towards him for pulling Isaac along as some sort of co-pilot on his most recent attempt to run away from his problems, which in turn made him collateral damage when everything blew up in his face like it had time and time before.
"How's Isaac?"
The younger Baizen was really the only thing she was willing to talk to him about. She had been shocked, and more so hurt, when he took off without a word and she hadn't heard anything about him since. The two brothers had ventured so far off the grid that not even Gossip Girl was able to keep up with tracking them for long. There had been a designated 'Baizen Brothers' map under the spotted tag on the main site for a while until eventually, any news about either of them fell off completely.
"Don't tell me you're still crying over him? According to Gossip Girl, you were in bed all summer, mending your broken heart."
Odette purses her lips momentarily before responding, "Good to know you still had access to the hell site wherever it is that you were. And, hardly."
"Oh, that's right. You're with Chuck now so I suppose you got over my baby brother pretty quick." Biting down on his lower lip, Carter wrestles internally with whether to continue but ultimately decides he can't let the moment pass, "Though from what I hear there wasn't much to get over."
Turning to stare at him once more, her eyes narrow in confusion as she shrugs in an effort to urge him to continue.
"Apparently that relationship was more for appearance's sake than anything else." At this point, a Cheshire cat-like grin has spread across Carter's clean-cut face. It was abundantly clear that he knew more than even Odette had anticipated and he was taking pleasure in that fact. "Yeah, he told me all about how you two kept each other's dirty little secrets. You two were a very convincing fake couple and your commitment to the lie is admirable, I'll give you that. Though I will admit, I was most surprised by your truth. Never would I have expected something like that from you, Dee.."
Carter was the King of Bullshit and while normally she'd assume he was bluffing, the more he spoke the more he revealed that he knew exactly what he talking about.
Dirty little secrets.
Convincing fake couple.
Your truth.
His words were ringing so loudly in her ears that she almost felt the need to cover them. As if maybe that would block it out - block it all out.
Her cheeks were burning from the humiliation and her tone was full of despair once she was able to command herself to finally say something, "It's not really a secret if he told you, now is it?"
Watching as Blair and some of the other girls move in their direction, Odette looks at him with a mixture of desperation and anger, "I expect you to keep your mouth shut, Carter."
"Oh, haven't you heard, Doll?" He gives her a wink as he works their earlier banter back in, "You shouldn't have expectations of me unless you like to be disappointed. Although considering you're with Bass now, I take it you know that feeling all too well."
"Who's ready for some tea?"
Approaching the pair, Blair gestures for Odette to move over a smidge. Eager to put some needed distance between Carter and herself, she happily obliges. However, the sinking feeling in her stomach reminded her that this was far from over.
The final week leading up to Cotillion was stressful. Not only were all her friends in full preparation mode but it was also the last week before they were officially on Winter Holiday and that meant one thing - midterms.
The academic schedule at Constance Billard and St. Judes was rigorous and the expectations were high. Odette was thankful that she didn't have to worry about juggling her studies with practices for the upcoming Debutante Ball. However, she had spent most of the week distracted nonetheless. From worrying about what Carter said to her concerns over Raquel, her mind was everywhere but where it needed to be.
Normally, she was a confident test-taker. She could usually blow through the material with ease. However, this week she found herself struggling through each test she took. She knew enough not to fail but she was hardly expecting to receive her usual upstanding marks. Which were needed if she was serious about wanting to finish a year early so that she could graduate with her friends.
She was better than the work she was putting out this week, she knew that wholeheartedly but there was nothing more that could be done. Moving forward she couldn't afford to make any more mistakes though. Regardless of how weighted it all felt right now, she couldn't let these momentary stresses deter her from the goals she'd been working towards for years.
From here on, she had to do better.
Stretching out her arms, Odette yawns before pushing herself up in her bed and for the first time all week, she smiles.
Today was her fresh start.
Today was Friday.
This meant that midterm week was officially over and that was a much-needed relief.
Her sudden good mood was fleeting, however, as it dawned on her further that while today being Friday did signify the end to a grueling testing week, it also meant today was Mass.
Frantically reaching for her phone she sees that it's well past her normal wake-up time.
Somehow none of her alarms had gone off and it was now eight o'clock. That's precisely when the doors to the Campus Church would be opened, which meant she had thirty minutes to get dressed and get there before the weekly service began.
For the first time all week, Cotillion, Raquel, Chuck, Carter, and her abysmal midterm efforts were far from her mind. Now she had a whole new stress unlocked - fear of getting JUGS on a Friday night due to being tardy for Mass.
Constance Billard and St. Judes were seen as the high standard as far as private education goes in Manhattan.
They had significantly smaller class sizes than some of the other schools, such as Trinity, Dalton, Regis, and Collegiate. They had a stronger athletic department and they also boasted the highest number of Ivy acceptance for their graduating classes.
Getting accepted to either school was difficult, and keeping the necessary GPA and testing scores to remain qualified to attend was even more so.
Of course, family money went a long way and certain donations could get one out of problematic situations. However, parents that pay that much towards your education expect you to be educated.
All the parents, for the most part, expected nothing short of greatness from their children and so the pressure was always on to try to be the very best. And the competitive streak amongst classmates, and in turn the parents, was always present.
Most of the private schools in Manhattan were nice but none of them could quite keep up with Constance Billard and St. Judes. This was due to two very specific reasons.
One, since both schools were seen as being, 'the best of the best' every big-name, wealthy, parent wanted their children to attend and they were willing to pay lots of money to make that happen.
Two, the schools were parochial. The connection to the Catholic church was huge and due to this not only was the school tax-exempt but they could also accept huge donations from the public and it couldn't be seen as a bribe. Everything was able to be written off on faith. Just as parishioners give to the parish during service, almost all the parents would give large sums of money to each of the schools quarterly.
This infuriated the parents, students, and faculty of the surrounding schools but for those that had the high honor of attending either Constance or St. Judes, it reaffirmed how privileged they were.
They had the best teachers, the most expansive library, the highest tech available, and the most robust athletic department. The school hired the finest chefs for the school's refectory, the floors were marble, the lockers were made from African Blackwood as opposed to lowly metal, and the infrastructure itself looked as though it was transplanted from an Ivy League campus - the architecture was immaculate.
Additionally, despite the two schools being divided between boys and girls, the two campuses shared the same lot, most of the same amenities, and worked off the same schedule. All this to say that while there was a boy school and a girl school, the two were intermingled a lot throughout the school day. Which the students loved and took full advantage of.
Also factor in that they are in a religious setting where sex is talked about frequently... sure, it's typically in a negative manner to push the Church's agenda of abstinence. However, making sex seem forbidden to a group of hormonal teenagers only makes them want to do it that much more.
The boys at St. Judes had running competitions about being able to score with such and such girl, bonus points if they managed to do the deed at school.
None of this really aligned with the moral standing of good Catholics but very few of either schools' attendees actually were in fact Catholic. So, this always seemed like a loop-hole. And for those that were truly catholic, they found ways around the rules too.
Besides, if the guilt of their actions ever became too much, all could be absolved through confession. And yes, they did have a confessional booth and it was located in the campus Church.
The campus Church served as not only an assembly hall for both schools, but this was also where weekly Mass was held every Friday.
Because of this, Fridays were bittersweet for students. Classes were shorter, which was nice, but this was only because Mass was on Fridays, and on average it ran about ninety minutes long.
Plus there was the matter of the dress code...
Like all private schools, Constance and St. Judes had a basic dress code. Basic slacks, yellow or white button-up, blazer, and a tie for the boys. For the girls, there was a little more variety - a pleated skirt (pants on request), one long and one short-sleeved button-up blouse, blazer, or sweater, and one pleated overall dress that had to be worn on top of one of the mandated blouses. The guys, for the most part, stuck to their basic uniform. The girls, constantly looking to one-up one another and always vying for the boy's attention, tried all sorts of things to make their uniforms more custom. They would add frills or gems, they would accessorize with ribbons, headbands, long socks or stockings, killer shoes, etc.
The number one method amongst the girls however was rolling up their skirts to make them shorter.
Which was an art form that required serious skill. One must roll the whole waistband under one time (two if you want to be really scandalous) and then roll it an additional time, only at the center, so that you don't get that awkward pronounced flare on each side. Most of the girls, especially underclassmen, weren't exactly experts at this and tended to have the flare on each side which looked silly. To avoid this, Serena had come up with the perfect plan and had passed it along to Blair who passed it on to her most trusted minions. Instead of taking all that time to roll the long skirts, they would keep their old uniforms and wear the ones that they had 'outgrown'. These were not only shorter, but tighter. They hugged the girl's curves in all the right places and this was a 'technique' that their friend group and their friend group alone used.
And as long as the changes weren't too excessive, you could pretty much get away with it. But, if you did anything to get in trouble or draw attention to yourself, you were completely fucked because one of the Sisters would absolutely ream your ass and make an example of you.
For the most part, the headmistress and headmaster and the sisters and the fathers, really let the teens get away with a lot.
There were only three big rules that were expected to be upheld fully and they all related to weekly Mass.
The first being that you do not, under any circumstance, miss Friday morning Mass. If you were sick, you came for that and then went home. If a family member died, you came and then could fly out or drive to where you needed to be. There was absolutely no excuse for missing.
The second rule was that you dress your best for Mass. On Fridays, the boys needed to have their blazers on, and buttoned, their tie had to be perfect, and they needed to have on clean dress shoes. The girls were expected to wear their pleated dress (which had no way of being rolled up to be made shorter) and a pair of nice pantyhose and clean dress shoes. There were zero exceptions to this.
The last rule was to not be late for morning Mass. Ever.
The student body was encouraged to arrive at school in enough time to line up outside of the campus church ten minutes before the doors would open. From this point, they would have an additional thirty minutes to get settled into their pew before services began. If you were late, you were fucked. If you missed entirely, you were extra fucked. If you showed up in the wrong attire, you were getting paddled. Prepare yourself now.
Nate had experienced his fair share of paddling through his time in private schools, mostly when he was younger and mostly because of Chuck's antics which he was, in turn, guilty of by association. As he got older he became keener on avoiding landing himself in positions where he might get in trouble. He had developed great relationships with Father John Girardi and Father John Luke and the Sisters from Constance seemed fond of him as well. He might not be the smartest student but he was smart enough to know ways of keeping himself on the good side of the people that mattered.
"Well, don't you look extra dapper today Nathanial?"
Turning his head, Nate watches as Chuck snickers to himself as he slides into the pew.
"Yeah, only the best for God." Nate chuckles to himself as he dabs up his friend in greeting.
Once Chuck is seated directly next to him, Nate catches the familiar whiff of his favorite strand permeate the air around them, "Come on man," Nate begins to nervously flick his hand through the air, "You had to spark up before Mass, seriously? It's like you're asking for it."
"Please." Rolling his eyes at his friend's dramatics, Chuck pulls out a travel-size cologne and begins to spray himself down, "If Sister Mary Agatha is the one doing the paddling, maybe that's what I want."
"Ugh!"
Chuck stifles a laugh as he watches his friend's eyes narrow in revulsion.
"She's like sixty years old, man?" Shaking his head in disgust he continues, "You probably deserve to make confession for that one. You're sick in the head."
Waving his friend's insults off, Chuck nudges him, "Do you wanna cut out of seventh and eighth today? I need to go pick up my suit from the tailor."
"And that can't wait till after school?"
"No, I have plans." Chuck shrugs nonchalantly.
"Plans with who? Is Odette finally talking to you again?"
Nate already knew that answer.
"Not yet, but I have some stuff in the works to fix that." Leaning forward in the pew, Chuck glances over at the girls side of the church and scans each aisle for Odette, but he couldn't find her. Pulling out his phone he looks down at the time, 8:20 was displayed clearly. Well, shit. Leaning backward this time, Chuck does one more scan of the Church, but she's nowhere to be seen.
Fully aware of who Chuck is searching the crowd for, and also fully aware of the ramifications for being late to Mass, Nate notes, "She's definitely getting JUGS."
Justice Under God's Supervision, or JUGS for short, was essentially detention with the Constance Nuns where they made you write out extensive passages from the Bible.
Chuck had done his fair share of time in JUGS. In fact, he was pretty certain if he combined all the scriptures he was forced to copy that he would have his own handwritten bible by now. He had done some serious wrong-doings in his time as a St. Judes student.
He cut class, mouthed off to teachers, and smoked on campus, more times than he could keep a record of. He had even once been caught by Father John Girardi himself getting his rocks off with a Constance girl in one of the empty classrooms. Point being, each time he landed himself in JUGS it was well deserved.
Odette on the other hand was an exemplary student. She did well in her studies and had great relationships with the majority of the school superiors. She was involved in all sorts of extracurriculars and had never so much as gotten a warning from any of the school staff in all the time he had known her.
Maybe he just felt bad for making her so upset but for someone like Odette to get JUGS for something as stupid as being tardy, felt unfair.
"So nice of you to join us, Ms. Rockefeller."
Hearing the familiar monotone of Sister Christine's voice play over the podium microphone, Chuck glances towards the back of the building. Odette was attempting to slide her way into one of the very back pews, probably hoping to go unnoticed but these old Nuns had eyes like hawks.
"Students, we don't expect a lot from you. But we do expect you to respect Father's time. By this point, we all know what the punishment is for tardiness, yes?"
In response to Sister Christine's question, a few students start to chant, 'JUGS, JUGS, JUGS...' and Chuck can't help rolling his eyes. These people reveled way too much in the downfall of others. Clearing his throat he stands up, "Odette isn't late, Sister. I asked her to run my books to my locker."
The crowd of previously animated students is now completely quiet and everyone's eyes are on Chuck.
Nate, still seated, slowly sinks back into his pew. Sister Christine was not someone to challenge or piss off and Chuck had an innate ability at being naturally gifted at doing both.
It was no secret the woman despised Chuck. They all knew it, and Chuck knew it too, which made his choice to be noble all the more admirable.
Noble and admirable.
Those were two adjectives no one would ever use to describe Chuck Bass or his actions, yet here he was... standing before everyone, trying to save Odette's ass.
Now wasn't the time to laugh, but if Nate could, he would. Chuck might not like to use labels and might adamantly try to deny how he feels about Odette but he also made it so apparent that he cared at least somewhat. Judging by the hushed whispers coming from the girl's side of the aisles, it was clear others were taking notice of this as well.
"Since when do you actually carry around your books, Mr. Bass?"
She had a point. Chuck never had his textbooks with him, mostly because he didn't need to. Chuck was one of those annoyingly smart people that hardly needed to study to do well. Nate had always been somewhat jealous of how easily academics came to Chuck when he struggled so much with keeping up with his own.
"I don't, hence I had her take them to my locker."
He had an attitude, but he didn't care. He never did. The worst that would happen to him was to wind up in JUGS himself or maybe even get paddled. However, after experiencing both a plethora of times, both punishments had lost their edge and hardly phased him anymore.
Odette had been truly surprised by Chuck's gesture. After giving him the cold shoulder all week he was willing to still come to bat for her. Sure, helping her avoid detention was a small thing in the grand scheme but she couldn't deny that it still made her heart flutter.
"And you're so lazy, Mr. Bass, that you couldn't take your own books to your locker?"
Chuck rubs at his chin for a moment as if he was actually taking the time to consider the proper answer. As if.
"Yeah, I'm pretty lazy." This response earns him a set of stifled laughs from his peers, Odette included.
"Ms. Rockefeller?" Sister Christine calls for attention once more, "Given your track record, I'm going to let this slide but in the future please allow Mr. Bass to run his own books, yes?"
Her lips twist into a small smirk, surprised Chuck's declaration of her innocence actually saved her, "Yes, Sister."
"Find a seat." Sister Christine gestures to the open pews and waits for Odette to move towards them before continuing, "Let this be a lesson to all my girls, please. If Chuck Bass asks you to do anything for him, just say no. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor in saying this."
At this piece of advice, most of the students burst into fits of laughter.
Chuck, not minding being the punchline to this 'joke' winces as he grabs his chest, acting as if her words were a dagger to the heart.
Before anyone can say anything else Father John Girardi replaces Sister Christine at the podium and calmly asks for everyone to settle down and rise for the start of Mass.
Everyone does so, but as the students begin to repeat the usual first hymn, Odette looks back in Chuck's direction.
Chuck, who was already watching her, makes eye contact with her instantly.
The two of them stare at each other for a moment until she finally mouths, 'Thank you.' before turning back around.
Through the duration of the first hymn and prayer, Odette could feel her phone vibrating to alert her of several text messages. Once Father Girardi instructs everyone to be seated she carefully pulls her phone out to inspect the series of texts she had received.
TO: ODETTE
FROM: CHUCK
So now that I defended your honor in front of the entire student body, do you think you can stop ignoring me?
TO: ODETTE
FROM: CHUCK
Or, at least maybe give me a chance to explain the situation with Raquel before you decide to write me off?
TO: ODETTE
FROM: CHUCK
I saved you from JUGS on a Friday, I think you owe me at least a talk
Shaking her head, in a mixture of humor and dismay, Odette turns back to look at him. Their eyes meet instantly, again, and he gives her a cheeky smile to match her own.
It was so unfair.
Regardless of how upset he ever made her, he could pull her back in so easily. She liked him way too much and it was probably going to get her into trouble. Her brain knew this. But for now, she didn't care. So instead of listening to her head, she followed her heart and once she turned back towards the front she quickly typed out her favorite line for him before hitting send.
TO: CHUCK
FROM: ODETTE
We'll see...
"I know I've said it a million times, but have I mentioned how sad I am that I have to one, participate in this Cotillion stuff at all, and two, that you can't be my escort?"
Serena had come to have dinner with the Humphrey family that Friday evening.
After Dan had subjected himself to both the Secret Santa party from Hell and afternoon tea with her grandmother and other high society snobs, she felt she owed it to him to make a point to try to spend some time getting to know his mom and sister better. Especially since she wasn't going to be able to attend Allison's big art show.
The dinner had gone great. Allison made spinach and mushroom ravioli, which was a nice change from the usual dishes that Serena had been served at the Humphrey's - mostly waffles and chili. And Serena had really hit it off with his mother. The two glasses of Merlot certainly helped on Allison's part but Serena also made all social interactions seem effortless. She could talk to just about anyone, about pretty much anything. Serena had great conversationalist skills. When she listened she was an attentive listener. When she talked, she was engaging. He enjoyed everything about the evening, but he couldn't get what Chuck had told him last week out of his head. Clearly, Serena knew something about Chuck that he didn't want Dan to know, or talk about. But Serena and Chuck were more friends by association, they weren't close, really. So, what secret of Chuck's would Serena know?
He had waited all this time, debating if he would even say anything, but as he walked her down to her cab he decided to just go for it.
"Hey, I've kind of been wanting to talk to you about something."
Rarely, have scarier words in a relationship ever been spoken. Immediately, Serena begins to wrack her brain for what she's done wrong. All she can think of is that Dan has caught on that her infatuation with Nate is alive and well. She really thought she had done a great job of masking it and pushing it way, way, down. But, evidently, he had caught on.
Her best defense was to play dumb.
"Ok, you caught me. I have no clue who the band Marion is. But your dad just looked so excited when I said I did! So when I went to the bathroom before dinner and I googled them."
Dan found Serena's earnestness to be adorable, but that was far from the point he was trying to make.
"I knew you there was no way you knew that many random facts about a band most people don't even remember! But, that wasn't it. When Chuck and I got into that fight at Blair's he told me something to the effect of, I don't know what Serena told you but you better keep your mouth shut." Dan laughs a little, nervously, "It's probably nothing, and none of my business, but I just was kind of confused why he would say that?"
Serena's previous nerves instantly vanished as she listened to Dan go on about Chuck.
That's what he wanted to talk about? Chuck?
Although, the entire Chuck-Blair scandal had been weighing heavily on her shoulders for some time now.
Being the sole person, outside the two of them, to know what had gone down that night left Serena in a very compromising position when it came to her friendship with Nate and Odette. At times, keeping the secret felt almost like second-nature easy, other times holding the secret in made her feel like she'd explode.
Blair refused to talk about the situation any further, probably as a way to deny to herself that it ever transpired and Serena would never talk to Chuck about anything personal, let alone his tryst with her best friend. More than anything she wanted to talk to Dan about it.
He was always a solid voice of reason, mostly. But doing so would be betraying Blair's trust.
However, in this instance, she wouldn't really be the one telling. Chuck, being the idiot he is, let his anger and guilt get the best of him and had already kind of told Dan. More or less...
Dan now knew there was a secret at play, her filling in the missing pieces for him wouldn't be the worst thing she could do... would it?
"You can keep a secret, right?"
Jenny had been a less-than-pleasing person to be around as of late.
She was still sulking big time over Allison forcing her to come to the art show instead of letting her go to Cotillion, and she was making a point to let all of them know she was in a rotten mood over it.
She hadn't said a word throughout all of dinner, she declined her dad's offer to play scrabble after dishes were done, and she was moving ridiculously slow with her after-dinner chores.
Normally, Mackenzie could phase out her siblings when they were being particularly irritating. However, in this instance, Jenny's choice to drag her feet was slowing down Mackenzie's set of chores as well, which delayed her being able to finish them.
"Okay, Jen, how long does it take to wash a dish. You're kind of killing me over here."
Narrowing her eyes, Jenny stares at her sister coldly, "Worry about yourself, Kenzie. You're good at that."
Mack was taken aback by her sister's snide-second comment, but she decided to ignore it, "I'd love to but I can't!" She waves the dry dish towel in her sister's face as if to remind her that their chores go hand in hand, "You have to actually wash some dishes for me to stand a chance at drying them."
Throwing her soaped and soaked sponge down in the sink, Jenny exclaims, "I never even had to do chores before you guys came back!"
Completely unphased by her little sister's theatrics Mack sighs, "That explains why you suck at them."
Jenny's eyes grow wide for a moment before she turns to stomp off to her room - well, their room.
"Oh, come on, Jen..." Rufus calls after her only to be met with the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut.
Watching Jenny runoff, Mackenzie scoffs, "Explains why you're acting like such a brat about it too!" She wasn't really one to fight with her sister. Usually, her and Dan were the ones that got into it, but she had no patience for her sister's bad attitude.
"I'll talk to her." Allison gives Rufus's hand a small squeeze before she gets up to head towards Jenny's room.
"No, mom." Mackenzie sets the towel down on the counter, "I'll talk to her." Nothing anyone said to Jenny was going to make her feel better right now but surely the last person she wanted to hear anything from was the woman who crushed her Cotilion dreams.
Mack didn't really understand what Cotillion even was or why it was so special to her sister, so she had a hard time feeling sympathetic to her cause. However, they were all struggling with adjusting to this new living situation. Just as it was weird to have Rufus play father to her, it had to be difficult to have Allison making the rules for Jenny.
Knocking softly, she doesn't wait for an answer before entering the room.
Jenny, in full dramatic fashion, had thrown herself onto the bed and currently had her head buried in her pillow.
"I don't want to talk to you."
Her voice is muffled by the same aged Hello Kitty pillowcase she'd had since she was seven, but Mackenzie can still make out enough of what she said to understand.
"I can see that." Walking over to the opposite side of the bed, she sits down. "Look, I know all of this is complicated and frustrating but it doesn't do you any good to act nasty towards all of us."
Pushing herself up, Jenny looks at Mackenzie with red, puffy, eyes, "Everything was fine before you guys came."
Starting to get a little pissed off with her sister's insistence that this was somehow anyone's fault but her own, Mackenzie stands up once more, "You act like us coming back has only affected you? Newsflash Jen, the world doesn't revolve around you. This has been hard on everyone! And if we've ruined your life so terribly why did you come to Hudson and beg Mom to come back? If you want to be mad at anyone, be mad at yourself. You did this."
Instead of giving her sister a chance to say anything else, that might further escalate the already tense situation Mackenzie walks out of the room, and leaves Jenny to suffer through her pity party alone.
"Hurry up, we are so late!"
With their arms interlinked, the Rockefeller sisters dash through the courtyard of The Palace.
It was true, they were so late. Once they entered the lobby they essentially sprinted their way up the grand staircase and the closer they got to the main doors to the ballroom, the more distinct the sound of the orchestra became.
Pausing, only briefly, in front of the entrance, each sister eyes the other carefully. As Odette reaches out to wipe a smudge of mascara off Cortney's cheek, her sister helps her readjust one of her jeweled straps. With one last final lookover complete, each sister pulls one of the doors open and enters the main room.
Once they're inside, both of them remain silent as they take it all in.
No expense was spared when it came to events like this and while the decorations weren't elaborate, they didn't need to be. Simple centerpieces, all matching china, and rich colored linens adorned every table. Everything was arranged just so and it looked beautiful. For someone that didn't buy into the whole Cotillion thing, even Odette was left awestruck by how stunning it all looked. It was immediately clear why Blair had been so excited for this night. The ballroom and all the attendees looked straight out of the type of fairytales Blair had always admired.
It was hard to not be swept away by the elegance in this room.
"Next we have Ms. Olivia Emele Fuller... daughter of Reginald and Agatha Fuller... she's escorted by James Manwaring..."
"Damn, we missed Kati and Is already."
"I don't think they'll mind." Odette offers. She understood Cort was close to the two girls but she personally could care less about making it in time for their debut.
Despite feeling extremely frustrated and disappointed with herself for missing Kati, Cortney knows better than to show it. Forcing a smile across her face she nudges her sister, "Let's go find Pops."
"Wait," Reaching out, she takes hold of her sister's wrist in an attempt to hold her in place, "I think Raquel is after Olivia and I want to see Chuck."
"Sure."
It seemed really unfair that Cortney missed the only person she cared about actually seeing but that Odette was going to get to see Chuck. That pretty much summed up her whole life though.
She follows behind her sister, much less enthusiastically, as they squeeze in between some people on the upper-level balcony. Once they find a more comfortable spot, they both peer over the ledge to see that they're almost directly above where all the debutantes are lined up.
"Ms. Raquele Lordes Fusilier... daughter of Rene and Blanche Fusilier... and escorted by, Chuck Bass."
Despite previously feeling so certain that seeing Chuck escort someone would be completely awful and experiencing all types of jealousy in the week leading up to this, at this moment all she could do was admire how handsome he looked. He always cleaned up nice but there was something to be said for seeing a man in formal attire. It never really got old. He looked like such a gentleman and Odette couldn't deny the way it was making her insides squirm in delight.
Everyone else's eyes were on Raquel and how beautiful she looked but once Odette saw Chuck it was as if everyone else in the world disappeared.
'To show her gratitude to Chuck for saving her from JUGS, Odette had agreed to go to dinner with him that same evening.
He took her to Sparks, his personal favorite steak house in the city.
Mostly because he had been coming here for so long that the owners knew him and never carded him or his friends anymore.
Taking a sip of his scotch, he points to an area of the restaurant directly behind Odette. "Big Paul of the Gambino crime family was killed right over there back in the eighties."
Looking over her shoulder for a moment, Odette stares at the spot he was pointing out to her before looking back at Chuck. She doesn't say anything but keeps hard eye contact with him as she raises her cocktail glass to her lips and pours the artificially colored liquid into her mouth.
Chuck shifts in his seat as he watches her every move. Her eyes were almost hypnotizing as she refused to break contact with him. As she lifts a finger to delicately wipe off a droplet of liquid left on her lips he can feel a familiar stirring within himself and finally pulls his gaze from her in an attempt to regain his composure.
She was beautiful and she knew it.
More so, she knew how to use it to her advantage and in this instance, she was using it to drive him completely crazy. She had been doing so from the moment she arrived. Having refused to ride over to the restaurant with him, Chuck was instead left waiting on her for nearly twenty minutes. Any frustration he felt about this was instantly washed once he saw her walking towards him though.
Odette had chosen a short black dress for the evening. It had a scalloped collar and was low cut enough that it showed off her chest. Despite the fact she was rather top-heavy, Odette rarely wore outfits that would draw too much attention to the fact she had large breasts. Tonight was an exception though.
She was trying to tease and torture Chuck and by the way he was squirming in his seat across from her, it was working.
"You're telling me someone was murdered just right there? Wow, you really know how to get a girl going."
Despite her comment obviously being sarcastic Chuck goes along with it, "You have no idea."
There was a glimmer in his eyes as he spoke as if he was trying to challenge her to find out for herself.
Picking up her fork and knife, Odette cuts into her barely eaten steak, "You know, Raquel is a vegetarian. Sort of."
Taking a bite of his own steak, Chuck pulls a face as he finishes chewing his food before replying, "No, I didn't know that and I'm a bit scared to ask why you know that?"
Cracking a small smile, she sighs, "I'm just saying, you'd never be able to bring her to a place like this."
"I don't plan on bringing her here or anywhere else for that matter."
"Except Cotillion."
"Except Cotillion." He reiterates, "Look, I know it bothers you that I'm escorting her but to be fair she asked me weeks before your birthday and before any of this," he gestures between the two of them, "started."
Odette opens her mouth to say something but then decides to take a long drink instead. Firmly setting her glass back down, she takes in one last steady breath before deciding to go for it.
"I guess I'm just confused as to what this," She mimicks his gesture between the two of them, "even is? Because you make it very obvious you don't want anyone to think of us as a couple but then we do things like this." Her eyes drift around the crowded room before settling back on him, "You make me feel like your girlfriend without actually giving me the security of a relationship. So, when I find out something, like you escorting someone else to Cotillion, it does make me feel uneasy. And maybe it's not fair for me to be upset about you escorting her but the fact you didn't tell me makes me feel like you don't take me seriously enough to consider my feelings."
As several beats of silence pass between them, she begins to regret revealing so much to him. She had laid it all out for him and waiting for him to respond felt torturous.
"I don't do this. I don't take women on dates, I take them home and that's usually the extent of it..." He pauses for a long time, clearly thinking over his next choice of words, "I don't kiss them the way that I kiss you and I definitely don't talk with them the way I'm talking to you right now." His fingers trembled against his glass tumbler as he spoke, "I know you want more from me than what I'm giving you right now, Swan, but I need you to recognize the ways that I am stepping out of my own comfort zone to try and make whatever this is, work. I might not be giving you the kind of affirmations you need but I do think if you take the time to look at my actions it'll be abundantly clear..." Reaching forward, he takes her hand and grazes her diamond tennis bracelet with his thumb, "I like you, Odette. That's not a secret and I'm sorry if I've made you feel it was."
Odette's bottom lip quivered as he spoke so vulnerably with her.
His honesty took her breath away.
He didn't say all the right things, but he spoke from his heart and that's all she could ask of him.'
"You are so in love."
Odette turns to face Cortney with wide eyes, "I am not."
"Oh, please! Look at how you're watching him, it's so gross." Cortney pretends to gag as she teases her sister further.
Everything about her tone was completely playful, but deep down in the parts of herself she tried the hardest to keep hidden, she felt a twinge of jealousy. Her sister could stare at Chuck with hearts in her eyes and be unashamed - for the most part, this was Chuck they were talking about after all. Regardless, Odette was able to wear her heart on her sleeve and be unabashed in her feelings. Cortney didn't have that luxury. Instead, she had to feel those things privately. She could never look at Kati the way Odette looked at Chuck. If she did, everything would change, everyone would look at her differently, and she'd likely lose Kati's friendship in the fall out of it all. To be able to live her truth she had to be willing to risk a lot, and she wasn't ready for that. She wasn't sure she'd ever be.
"Shut up, you are so deluded."
Just as Odette playfully shoves her sister away the two of them are approached by Jordan.
"Wow, Jordan, you clean up very nice." Cortney scans the curly-haired publicist up and down several times as she nods in appreciation, "Did Alyssa help you get dressed?"
"Coco the comedian." Rolling his eyes, Jordan scans the crowd before looking back at the sisters, "Your grandfather saw you come in and wanted me to come fetch you."
Cortney matches Jordan's eye roll, "We were just headed that way. Odette wanted to see her boyfriend first though."
Odette exchanges a look with Jordan but neither of them says a word. She hadn't seen him since the Christmas party but judging by his lack of response it was clear he was heeding her warning to stay in his own lane and stop inserting himself into her personal life.
She easily could say something mean-spirited, as she normally does anytime he is around, but she appreciated the fact he was respecting her boundaries - for once. So, instead she offered him the smallest of smiles, "Lead the way."
After all the debutantes had been presented, the dance portion of the evening began. All the couples moved together, and alongside everyone else, in perfect synchronization. An obvious sign that the weeks of practice had clearly paid off.
As Nate guided Blair around the expansive ballroom floor, she was all smiles. These kinds of events were the sort of thing she lived for, but for once he could feel himself getting lost in this moment with her.
Once the music begins to settle, signaling the end of the first dance was nearing, he pulls Blair in closer and plants a kiss on her cheek before whispering against her ear, "Thank you."
Blair, assuming he was thanking her for being such an eloquent dancer and not stepping on his toes even once, sighs, "I have been taking ballroom classes for years. But you're welcome."
"No, that's not what I meant."
Normally, Nate would have just let it go and wouldn't have cared if she knew what he was talking about. However, in this case, he needed her to hear this. "I meant thank you for being you. You aren't always the easiest on me but I know that you love me and," Pausing for a moment, he strokes her cheek with his thumb, "you've really been a rock for me during all this with my dad."
It was true.
Blair had been a wonderful support system to not only himself but his mother too. He appreciated her kindness and strength more than he could possibly convey.
It wasn't that long ago that he had tried to break things off with her and his resentment towards her had grown as she continually refused to let him. Now, he was so grateful that he didn't end things because he couldn't imagine going through the last couple of weeks without her.
A lot of people would classify Blair as being selfish, and they wouldn't be completely off-base thinking that. Nate certainly did and had for a long time. This entire experience with his father's overdose had really opened his eyes to just how caring Blair could be for those she truly loved. And, man, did she love him.
He was lucky to have that.
It took a lot to remind him of that, but he was glad he had the opportunity to remember.
Although the last two weeks had been incredibly difficult for him he had also enjoyed the feeling of falling in love with Blair all over again.
It didn't happen right away, but each day that she spent by his side, or by his mothers, showed him just how much she cared. There was something to be said for that and he did feel like he owed her a lot more than what he had been giving her lately.
"I love you, Blair."
Even through the most arduous parts of their relationship, Nate had never stopped telling her those three little words. However, for a while now, when he said it there was no emotion or passion behind those words. It meant nothing for him to say it and it meant nothing for her to hear it. They had been stuck in that toxic and hurtful cycle for so long that she had forgotten what it felt like to hear him say those words and know in her heart he meant it.
At the time of her birthday, it felt like her whole world was falling apart and now here they were a month later and everything was perfect. For the most part... Sure, there was that whole predicament of her sleeping with Chuck. But right now, she was on cloud nine and the Chuck-situation had never been further from her mind.
"That was my birthday wish." Blair runs her long fingers through his combed sandy-blonde hair, "For you to say that and really mean it."
"Well, I do." Nate gives her one final spin as the song officially ends, "I'd warn you that revealing your birthday wish would keep it from coming true, but I guess since I already said it, you're safe. It's not like I'd take it back."
Pulling him closer to her - as close as possible, really, Blair replies, "You won't, if you know what's good for you."
Cortney and Odette had been stuck at their table for the last hour and a half listening to a bunch of sixty-something-year-olds discuss everything and nothing, all at once. They covered all sorts of subjects, such as stocks, health, news, and politics, in great detail. But none of the men really listened to what the other was saying so there was a lot of repetition of topics and they talked over each other, a lot.
Each of the men at this table was powerful in their own right - CEOs of multi-million dollar companies, heads of global news media programs, producers, and one was even Supreme Court Judge, and yet, not a single one had anything interesting to say.
One of the men present tonight was Roger Ailes. He was the CEO of Fox News and all its affiliates and while both girls found him to be somewhat creepy, he was considered a distant friend of David's and therefore it was expected of them to always be kind to him. At some point during Roger's long-winded speech about how much better the economy would be with a conservative in office, Odette had managed to sneak off under the ruse of greeting some of her friends. Cortney, who Roger kept making direct eye contact with as he spoke, was unable to make a run for it when her sister had. So, instead, she was stuck here for the foreseeable future. At least, that's how it seemed until she noticed Is and Kati waving her over from across the room.
"I'm so sorry to interrupt Mr. Ailes, but some of my friends are calling for me. If you will all excuse me." She offers a small bow to the men at the table before turning around and quickly walking in the girl's direction.
As she approaches them, both girls are giggling to themselves.
"You looked like you needed the save."
"Yeah, you're welcome."
Cortney eyes crinkle as she joins in their light laughter, "I really did, thanks."
"Did we make total fools of ourselves during the debut, or what?" Is pulls a small vape pen out of her wristlet and takes a deep pull from it as she waits for Cort's response.
Looking between the two girls, Cortney sheepishly responds, "I didn't actually get to see... I'm sorry, we were running really late."
She could try to explain to them how her mother had flown into a drunken bipolar rage right as she and Odette had been trying to leave. Or, how they had to literally console their sobbing mother that they weren't leaving her forever and would be coming home. She could even go as far as to explain that this was a regular occurrence in their household. But, she wouldn't. So instead all she offers are apologies.
Both girl's faces noticeably twist with disappointment but they assure her it's fine nonetheless.
Doing a quick scan of each girls outfit, Cortney smiles to them as best as she can, "You look really pretty." They both did, of course, but there was one she was most impressed by. "I know you were pretty set on wearing the same dress Is, but I think it's best you decided not to go that route. This way everyone can see and appreicate eahc of your individual styles."
"That's true, I guess."
Things between Is and Cortney still weren't totally back to normal. Mostly because Is craved consistency in her life. It's part of the reason she liked playing twins with Kati so much. Cortney had been anything but consistent as of recent. Some days, like today, she was happy and sweet. Others, she was like a ghost of her former self and it was depressing to be around. At least Cort knew how to turn it on because Is wouldn't stand for her ruining any part of her big night.
"I'm going to go find Bobby, I'll catch up in a bit."
Once Is had retreated into the crowd, the smoke cloud from her vape disappearing with her, Kati and Cortney were left in complete silence.
There was a tension that filled the air between them anytime they were left alone. It was sort of awkward and also sort of not. It always felt like each of them was waiting for the other to make the move to either leave the situation or start a different conversation.
"Do you need to go find your date too?"
"Actually, I was hoping we could talk Co." Kati's cheeks have a tint of red to them and her tone is bashful.
Kati's demure behavior was the new norm for them. She always acted that way around Cortney now and they both knew it was because of what had transpired between them at Blair's birthday.
By this point, her reasoning and justifications for their actions that night sounded like a broken record. 'I was so drunk' and 'all girlfriends kiss when they're wasted. It's not a big deal.' But, if it really wasn't a big deal then why did things still feel so weird between them?
It takes a moment for Cortney to realize she hasn't said anything back yet, so she quickly stumbles over her words to get out just three simple ones, "We can talk."
Once the first few dances were complete, the debutantes and their escorts were no longer required to dance together. Most of them still did, but a few would break off in search of their friends or family. At this point, those that attended the Cotillion ball as guests could also join the debutantes on the dance floor and the social aspect of the night came more into play.
All the well-dressed teenagers, and adults, now moved around the expansive ballroom in an effort to mix and mingle with one another
Odette had been catching up with some acquaintances from Dalton when she noticed Chuck standing a few feet away from them. He stood alone, typical smirk plain as day on his face, and waited for her to be finished talking before making the move to approach her.
Although Odette had seen him once she arrived, this was the first opportunity they had to officially see and greet one other.
"You look like you're up to something..."
Taking a few steps forward, she meets him halfway but even as she stands before him, he still says nothing.
Judging by the look on her façe she was noticeably lost but before she has the chance to say anything she hears it.
The soft-tuned intro of 'Linger' was barely audible over the sound of everyone's voices, but having been so familiar with the song she instantly recognized it. Turning towards where the orchestra was previously set up, she can see a small band with two female singers has now taken the stage. As the first singer starts into the first verse, she gives a small, but noticeable nod, to Chuck.
Catching this, Odette looks back at him, "You got them to do this? How?"
He could divulge all the trouble he had gone through. How he had to first find out what band was performing tonight so that he could then reach out to them and request they play this specific song. But her follow-up question would be why? And sure, he could explain that ever since that day they made out in her room, Cranberries record playing in the background, that he had considered this song significant. He could even confess that he had spent many nights since then listening to this song on repeat while thinking of her.
Yet, he didn't.
Instead, he kept his answer very simple.
Taking her right hand, he places it on his shoulder as he pulls her in closer by her waist, "Because, I'm Chuck Bass."
Having been the products of a musician and an artist, the Humphrey children each had a deep love and passion for the arts. From a very young age, their parents did all they could to encourage their wild imaginations and support any and all creative endeavors.
Dan was the writer.
This was obvious from a very early age.
He had started writing poetry around age seven. It wasn't good. Not even a little bit. But, Rufus and Allison saw potential in him regardless and so they continually encouraged him and eventually, he did get good. Really good, in fact.
Something similar happened for Jenny.
By the time she was in Kindergarten, she was cutting up her and Mackenzie's barbies' clothes - much to the horror of her sister, and stapling random pieces together to make new ensembles. They didn't look good. Not even a little bit. But, like with Dan, Rufus and Allison saw something in Jenny. They fully supported her exploration into the world of fashion design and with each new year, she was developing more skills and techniques.
Their kids were wonderful artists because Rufus and Allison had created an environment to nurture that.
Not all their children had developed keen artistic skills, however.
Mackenzie wasn't much of a musician, she couldn't really paint, draw, or sculpt. Dan could write circles around her and she found keeping up with fashion trends to be a waste of time. Basically, in a family full of artists she stood out like a sore thumb.
This was nothing new though, she always had.
She was the middle child and she was also heavier-set than either of her siblings. She was made to feel like the perpetual black sheep, whether intentional or not and she had made peace with it... mostly.
Despite not being an artist herself, Mackenzie had still developed a deep appreciation of the arts.
She had been to so many of her mom's art shows over the years and yet she never found herself the least bit bored.
Allison wasn't an overly social person.
She was also fiercely private.
Her children knew her as a mother but they didn't know who she was outside of that. She never talked much about her childhood or really anything that happened to her before she met Rufus and started their family. Therefore, it was through her art that her children really got to know her.
Mackenzie had caught on at an early age, long before Dan or Jenny did, that Allison's art was her way of expressing a combination of everything she felt, that she couldn't say, and everything she had been through that she would never tell them or anyone else.
That was a huge part of why Mackenzie enjoyed attending her mother's shows.
Looking at her art felt like getting small peaks into the very essence of her mother.
Although, no matter which way she tilted her head she could not figure out what was even happening in the painting before her, let alone what the deeper meaning behind it was.
"Kenz? Have you seen Jenny?"
As Allison approached her daughter, her forehead was crinkled and her eyes bled with concern.
"I saw her right as the show was starting..." Mackenzie scans the floor of the open concept gallery carefully, "but that was a while ago."
Rubbing at her temples in frustration, Allison sighs, "I think she went to that dance."
Sensing her mother's stress, Mackenzie tries to do what she can to help alleviate it. Pulling out her phone she dials up Jenny's number.
"All I'm getting is her voicemail but let me get Dan, I'm sure he will know what happened."
"Dan's not here, he talked with your dad and he let him go to that dance to be with Serena."
At this revelation, Mackenzie had to bite her tongue. Instead of saying the first, not-so-nice, thing that came to mind, she thought over her next words carefully.
"So, dad let Dan go to the same event you grounded Jenny from?"
Their co-parenting skills sucked, mostly because they were terrible at communicating with one another. That wasn't Mackenzie's place to say though. So, instead, she finishes with, "That double standard sucks."
Taking in a calming breath, Allison then responds, "I don't disagree with you but I do still think it was deeply wrong for Jenny to essentially sneak out and go to that event after I explicitly said no."
It was obvious that Jenny's defiance wasn't the main thing upsetting Allison right now. After supporting her children in all their endeavors, their whole lives, she just wanted to see some of that same support from them.
Looking around, Allison can see that a decent-sized crowd has formed to celebrate her work tonight. It was unfortunate that those that mattered most couldn't be here. Or, were choosing not to be. "I should go find her and bring her home."
"No, Mom, you stay. All these people are here for you. You've worked so hard on preparing these pieces. You, stay and enjoy yourself. I can go get Jenny."
The offer was very sweet but it was difficult for Allison to feel happy about all her children now being absent from her big night. Someone needed to get Jenny home though and Mackenzie was right, all these people were here for her and it would be rude for her to leave now.
"Stay safe and please take your coat. It's very cold out."
A Debutante Ball was probably one of the last places Mackenzie wanted to be on a Saturday night but she was a woman on a mission.
She had been hoping to come in, get Jenny and make it back to the gallery with time to spare but it didn't appear to be going that way.
The room was filled with lots of young, thin, blondes and it made it incredibly difficult to find her young, thin, blonde. She had walked up and down the stairs, bouncing from level to level in search of Jenny but to no avail. Her sister was nowhere to be found.
Finally, out of desperation and feeling like she needed to pee, she decided to check the bathrooms. She had been holding it the entire ride over from Brooklyn, and she was sure that she couldn't walk down the same flight of stairs again without using the restroom first.
Having currently been searching the upper level, she had no clue where the bathroom was and ended up asking for some guidance from a cater waiter. He was kind of cute and very helpful because he pointed her in the direction of a more obscure restroom. It wasn't likely Jenny would be in here since Mackenzie had barely found her way to the pink marbled door herself, but at least she'd have some privacy.
Walking past a small set of sinks, she pushes the second door open. Once she does this it's immediately apparent that she one, was not alone in this restroom, and two had unintentionally interrupted someone's private moment.
Apparently, Kati didn't have much to talk about.
As soon as the two of them had found their way to the upper levels private bathroom, Kati's lips were on Cortney's.
At first, Cort was hesitant. On one hand, kissing Kati in the bathroom was giving her serious deja vu. On the other, she absolutely loved the way their lips felt against each other.
It took all her strength to pull away but she knew she needed to. There were a few things she needed to cover before letting this happen to prevent herself from experiencing the same dejection she'd been feeling over the last few weeks.
"What's wrong?" Kati is almost breathless as she speaks, searching Cortney's face for a sign as to what made her stop.
"You're kissing me." She meant it to sound more like a question rather than a statement.
"Trying to."
"Are you drunk?"
"No!" Kati's laughter vibrates off the bare stone walls and echoes throughout the small room.
Cortney's posture is almost rigid-like as she stares cautiously at her, "I guess I'm just confused? You told me that friends kiss when they're drunk and that's the only reason we kissed at Blair's party. And you've been telling me that it didn't mean anything every chance you get."
Licking her lips, Kati looks down at the ground as she thinks over her response. As she begins to talk, she still can't manage to look up and meet Cortney's stare, "I know what I said. I'm just as confused as you about all this, okay? All I know is that I like kissing you and I would like to do it some more. Please?"
As she says the last part, she looks up at Cort and bats her lashes. She acted so innocently but she knew exactly what she was doing. And as much as Cortney's brain told her this was a bad idea, her desire for Kati won.
It always would.
Grabbing the back of her head, she pulls her in and smashes their lips together.
When they kiss, she can feel her insides burn with a mixture of regret, anger, and above all, passion.
Each of them pulled on the other as if they couldn't get enough.
As Kati started running her fingers down Cortney's body, a soft moan escapes her partner's lips. Unlike with boys, that practically gave mammograms, Kati knew the female body and understood what felt good.
Pulling back from kissing her, Kati plants kisses down Cortney's neck. Hovering just below her ear, she whispers, "You can't tell anyone about this, okay?"
Those words made Cortney's stomach drop.
She already was struggling with feeling ashamed, Kati treating her like some dirty secret wasn't going to help with that. Besides her sexuality, she was also holding on to the truth about her being assaulted. Each secret was taking a massive toll on her already.
But to that effect, what did it really matter to add one more to the list then?
Besides, as bad as it felt being kept someone's secret, being able to be with Kati felt so much better.
Instead of saying anything, Cortney answers her by pulling their faces back together. Just as their lips meet once more, and the heat between them starts to build, someone walks in on them.
Instantly, the two girls jump away from one another but it doesn't matter, the damage was done.
Cortney didn't recognize the girl standing before them and judging by her choice of outfit, she wasn't someone that regularly attended these types of events. Meaning, she likely wasn't anyone important.
Still, she had caught them red-handed, and judging by the shocked look on her face there was no denying it.
Mackenzie Humphrey was raised by very liberal parents who fully believed in freedom for all, in every aspect - including love, she didn't have a homophobic bone in her body, but still, it was jarring to walk in on a girl on girl make out session in some upscale bathroom.
She was mortified for having interrupted them and didn't want to do so further. But she also didn't want to seem judgmental or rude by just walking out.
She needed to say something.
Quickly.
"I'm so sorry." She can feel the warmth in her cheeks intensifying as they grow more flushed, "I'm looking for my sister, Jenny Humphrey. Do either of you know her?"
Kati's eyes practically bulge out of her head at the mention of Jenny's name. What were the odds that this stranger that walked in on them would be the sister of someone they knew? What if this person told Jenny Humphrey what she had seen?
"Uh...no. Excuse me." Grabbing her wristlet off the counter, Kati books it out the door before any more questions can be asked and before she could touch up any of her makeup that had smeared during their kiss.
Mackenzie didn't think this moment could get any more awkward, but once the first girl left, the remaining two stood in dead air for a very long time.
"Ok... well, she's not in here so I'm gonna go."
Before she can exit the restroom completely, Cortney reaches out for her arm, "Right. I don't know what this looked like..."
"It didn't look like anything."
"Right. Well, we'd both appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone."
Mackenzie subconsciously begins to spin the silver ring she's currently wearing, "I don't even know who you are. Wh-who would I tell?"
Cortney was chewing on her lower lip so aggressively that she could almost taste blood.
"Right." Stop repeating that. "Well, we both know your sister, and we both..." Aren't out... aren't gay. "Please don't tell anyone, anything."
"It's really none of my business and it's not Jenny's either." Mackenzie could see how nervous this girl was speaking to her about this. It was very obvious that she had not only interrupted a private moment between lovers but one that absolutely no one was meant to know about. "I promise I won't say anything. I know a promise from a stranger probably doesn't carry much weight but...Hi, I'm Mackenzie." Feeling like a handshake might be too much right now, she offers a small wave instead.
Barely able to keep eye contact with her, Cortney's gaze falls to the floor before finding its way back to her face, "I remember you now. You were at Blair's birthday party."
"Oh, yeah. For a little bit." The Humphrey's had spent such little time at that party she barely remembered it at all until this girl mentioned it.
Nodding a bit, Cortney finally gives her a wave in return, "My name's Cortney, but everyone calls me Coco."
"Now that we know each other, we aren't strangers."
Despite still being pretty sick to her stomach with nerves, Cortney smiles, "I also know where you live so if you do break your promise, I can find you." Moving towards the door, she lets a beat pass before adding, "I'm only joking. I can probably help you find Jenny if you'd like some help?"
Mackenzie was initially somewhat taken aback by Cortney's comment but she offers a bemused smile before answering, "Some help would be great."
Across the building, in a completely separate restroom, an entirely different secret was being revealed.
Having seen Mackenzie wandering around the building, Jenny had dipped into the bathroom and was hiding out in one of the stalls to try and avoid her. By sitting on the tank cover, she was able to rest her feet on the seat of the toilet and go completely unnoticed by anyone who came in.
It seemed too obvious of a ploy to work, but Mackenzie had already come and went without expecting a thing.
Just as Jenny was about to hop down from her hiding spot she hears two familiar voices, talking back and forth.
"B... we need to talk about this."
"Shh! What if someone hears?"
"There's no one else in here!"
As if to prove her point Serena stomps past the row of stalls, peering underneath to see if she spots anyone's feet. Seeing Serena stop in front of her stall, Jenny holds her breath in an attempt to remain unnoticed.
"Yeah, see, no one. Now, let's talk."
Carefully exhaling the air she had been holding in her lungs, Jenny leans slightly forward as if getting closer to the source would make their voices more clear.
"What is there to talk about? I'm so sick to death of talking about this with you."
"That feeling is very much mutual."
"Then why do you keep insisting on bringing this up?"
"Because, you need to do the right thing, B. You need to tell her."
Scrunching her face in confusion, Jenny tries to rack her brain for who this 'her' could be.
"Why am I always expected to do the right thing? Did you? No. I didn't find out about you and Nate until a year later and you weren't even the one to tell me."
"That was a mistake. But from that experience, you should know better than anyone that you're the one she needs to hear it from."
"She doesn't need to hear about it all, Serena! There's nothing wrong with withholding the truth if that truth is going to hurt someone. Besides, my relationship with Nate is finally back on track. You don't know how hard I've worked for this. All of this! I'm not going to jeopardize it all because of one meaningless transgression with Chuck. End of story and end of this conversation."
Once Jenny hears Chuck's name she's easily able to connect the dots. Instinctively, she covers her mouth to keep from gasping.
The sound of retreating heels on tile fills the air as Blair walks out of the restroom. Serena lingers for an extra moment, releasing an exasperated sigh before following after her friend and leaving Jenny in solitude once more.
Blair Waldorf had slept with Chuck Bass.
Blair had cheated on Nate... with his best friend...
This was easily the juiciest piece of gossip that Jenny had ever heard and it fell in her lap without her even trying.
Talk about being in the right place at the right time.
She eagerly yanks her phone out of her purse and begins typing up a message to send to Gossip Girl. Anonymously, of course.
Blair was going to be finished. She'd lose her status and Nate too, once everyone knew the truth about her.
She was such a hypocrite, always judging everyone when she had this big of a skeleton in her own closet?
Jenny respected Blair as a leader, and in a lot of ways wanted to be her, but there were always casualties of war, and if she wanted a chance at the Queendom one day she needed to make a big move. Dethrowning Blair Waldorf would make her a legend.
Maybe she wouldn't send this tip anonymously after all...
While editing out the portion of the text in which she asks to remain anonymous, she is reminded of someone else this will all affect.
Blair had slept with Chuck, which would make Odette the her that Serena and Blair had been referring to.
As much as she'd like to receive all the glory of taking down Blair Waldorf, as a freshman no less, she knew there was more at stake here than the status of some dumb high school monarchy. Real people with real feelings were involved and she had to be more sensitive to that.
She didn't want to be, but she also felt like she owed Odette for the whole situation at Kiss on the Lips Party.
Holding down the backspace on her keyboard, she deletes the entirety of her message and tucks her phone away before pushing herself off the toilet seat.
She quickly notices the material had gathered in certain areas while she was hiding and she attempts to smooth those parts down. Once she makes herself look presentable again she watches herself in the mirror - debating if she really wanted to do this.
She needed to.
Giving her reflection a gentle nod, Jenny walks out of the restroom completely determined. She was going to find Odette and do her the courtesy none of her so-called friends would, and tell her the truth.
It didn't take long for Jenny to find her.
She was walking towards Chuck when Jenny intercepted her.
Taking a small step back, Odette eyes the young blonde blocking her path, "Um, hey, Jenny?"
"Hi, um... I want to start this by saying, I take no pleasure in telling you this, but..."
Jenny always appeared timid, probably because she was young. Odette mostly found it sweet but at this moment it was irritating. Looking over Jenny's left shoulder, she can see Chuck standing with Nate and a couple of their friends. He glances in her direction and gives her a subtle wink. Smiling to herself, she then focuses back on Jenny.
"But...?"
Normally, she was one of the few older girls to be kind to Jenny Humphrey so she felt a little guilty for sounding so impatient. To be fair though, she was overly eager to get back to enjoying her night.
She wasn't the least bit aware that little Jenny Humphrey was about to blow up her whole life.
"There's something you should know."
...and there we have it! This chapter was originally much longer but I decided to cut it off at this point and save the rest of the Cotillion drama for the next update. There's one part specifically that I have been building and hinting at for a while that will finally be revealed in the next chapter and I can not wait to read some of the reactions you guys have to it. It literally pained me to have to cut it from this update...
With this next chapter mostly written, I do plan on updating exactly two weeks from today and I want to try and stay on that schedule going forward. I still have so much planned for these characters and this story and I really hope you all are still around to enjoy the ride.
Thank you so much to each of you that have taken the time to read this far down. I say it all the time and yet can't say it enough, your support means everything to me.