Rupert fired the Mega-Shrinker 5000.
Before we go on, have we ever discussed how accurate Rupert is in his aiming? He's very accurate. His aim is very good. Now, consider this. Calvin had said that he was having trouble making the ray go straight forward.
Do you see where I'm leading up to? Heh heh.
Rupert had that thing pointed right at Calvin and Hobbes and if Calvin would've straightened out the blast, they would've been dead meat.
However, they weren't, tee hee.
The blast shot out three inches off, and shrunk another box, instead.
Calvin took this opportunity.
He grabbed the Transmogrifier Gun, and fired.
ZAP!
This blast nailed Rupert in the chest. However, it was set on laser mode, and Rupert wasn't transmogrified into something else.
In other words, he flew three feet backwards, and slammed into the wall.
Calvin then blasted Earl out of the way, and leaped for his shrink ray.
He snatched it up from the ground, and began firing it in all directions.
Hobbes dove out of the room as Calvin wildly zapped everything in sight, trying to shrink Rupert and Earl.
Rupert kicked the window outward, and leaped out. Earl followed.
They activated their jet packs and flew back up to the ship.
Calvin ran up to the window, and started firing the shrink ray after them.
All of the blasts missed, but at least Rupert and Earl were gone.
Calvin panted, and put the Shrink Ray down.
"It's safe to... pant, pant... come in, Hobbes. their... pant... gone... pant"
Hobbes peeked inside.
"Where's the Shrink Ray?" He asked.
"I got it away from them." Calvin wheezed.
"I noticed," Hobbes said, looking at all the shrunk boxes in the room. Which wasn't easy, mind you. He figured that all the brown dots on the floor were boxes.
Calvin switched the shrinker over to UNSHRINK, and started enlarging the boxes, again.
"Rupert and Earl are after my Shrink Ray!" Calvin breathed. "They could use this thing to destroy the Earth!"
"They could use any of your inventions to destroy the Earth." Hobbes said.
"Don't get smart, fuzz ball, we need to hide this thing in case Rupert and Earl come back."
Calvin prepared to take it out.
"Wait a minute!" he said. "We can't do that! We have to keep the shrinker in here! This is the only safe place!"
"Rupert and Earl have proved that." Hobbes said.
Calvin ignored him.
"We're just going to have to hide it in here."
Calvin walked over to a box in the corner of the room, and shoved it in, amongst some old photo albums.
Once it was out of sight, he stood up, dusted his hands together, and turned to Hobbes.
"OK. Let's go to bed."
Calvin and Hobbes went back to bed.
They got under the covers.
Calvin spoke.
"Hobbes, I know we'll probably wont get any sleep tonight so be sure you know that..."
"ZZZZZZZZZ! Snork murk, skittle rain on Tuesday."
HUH?
Hobbes was asleep!
AND AFTER WHAT THEY HAD JUST GONE THROUGH!
Calvin glared at him.
"How can you be sleeping at a time like this! We've just been attacked by a couple of demented planet dictators!"
"Grumble the muttering porkchop."
"That's no excuse, and don't argue with me! The point is that I won't get any sleep, and here you are... murk snork, gribble porkchop... that is, your honking the bubble wubble horrifying bananas... We are the elite snorks of the Slurry Divizzzzzzzzz... the elite troops of the Security Division, shall we say and sleeping isn't an option for uzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."
"Red clam chowder Lady fingers." Hobbes replied.
"Isn't an option for us." Calvin continued. "We have a job to do, an important job and that job requires that stay awhop and alurk... awake and alert, that is."
"Mutter, grumbling, dictionary zebra stripes... ZZZZZZZZZ"
"Yes, the temptation to drift off into... snerk, muff, mork, honky wigglewort... the temptation to drift off into muttering sleep is very powdery, but so is our sniss of loyalburble to our... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."
"Grasshoppers fly banana airplanes."
"Fuzzy bubble."
"Ten thousand teddy bears brush their teeth with okra pickles snork murk, snicklfritz...ZZZZZZ!"
"ZZZ-KOFF KOFF-ZZZZZZ!"
"ZZZZZZZZ-HARK-ZZZZZZZ!"
"ZZZ"
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!"
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-snif-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
This is getting boring so let's skip ahead to dawn.
Calvin woke up at about eight in the morning, and set up a constant guard on the shrink ray.
Calvin spent hours working on it, and straightening out the blast.
He even tried to upgrade it to wireless, but it blew up in his face, and he switched it back to plug in.
At about three o'clock in the afternoon, he had finally perfected the blast.
Hobbes came in to check on him.
"Calvin, that show you wanted to see is on." He said.
"Sorry, Hobbes, I have to stay here all day, and guard the shrinker."
"Oh, OK." Hobbes said. "I'll tell you how it ends."
"Thanks."
"Your welcome."
Hours went by.
Calvin sat in the attic, staring at the shrinker.
He yawned.
Calvin hated to wait. He wanted everything right then and there, so waiting was very hard for him.
More hours went by.
By the time eight o'clock came, Mom had called Calvin to come down to bed.
"I wanna sleep in the attic, tonight, Mom." Calvin called.
"What on Earth for?" Mom demanded sticking her head into the attic. "You've been in here playing with your microphone all day. Let's go."
"But Mom! Rupert and Earl might come in the night and steal it!"
Mom ushered Calvin out of the attic.
"I don't want any nonsense." She said. "Just brush your teeth, and get in bed. We have a busy day tomorrow."
"Why?" Calvin said. "What's so busy about tomorrow?"
"Calvin, I must have told you a million times!" Mom sighed. "Your Dad has to take a business trip to another state. I have to go with him."
"I'm coming, too, right?"
"Wrong."
"WHAT!" Calvin yelled.
"We certainly don't need you destroying the hotel we're going to." Mom said. "Tomorrow evening at six o'clock, Rosalyn will be over."
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!"
"The world is often unfair, kiddo." Mom said.
By this time, Mom and Calvin had reached Calvin's room.
Mom tucked him into bed, and she left.
Calvin muttered and grumbled, and fell to sleep.
High up in the sky, Rupert and Earl were pacing back and forth in front of the crew.
The crew all watched, their heads swaying back and forth in tune with their pacing.
"Well, this is hopeless." Rupert said. "As long as he's guarding the shrink ray, we can't get him."
Suddenly, Earl stopped.
"Unless..." He thought, out loud.
"Unless what?" Rupert asked.
"Unless," Earl repeated. "If we just lay low, then he'll guard it and worry about us returning, and guard and worry, and guard and worry, and when he's worn out from lack of sleep and food, we'll move in! Time is on our side!"
Rupert's lips curled up into a large evil grin.
"So in other words," Rupert said. "Just wait?"
Earl grinned and nodded.
"Earl, you're so cruel." Rupert grinned. "I like how you think."
The next day, however, did not go exactly how Rupert and Earl had planned.
"CALVIN!" Mom called. "UP AND AT 'EM!"
Calvin's eyes flew open.
"AAAA!" He yelled, shooting upward. "Rupert and Earl are honking the muttering horseshoe spinach!"
His eyes came into focus, and he stared at Mom.
"Oh, hi. Was I talking in my sleep?"
Mom stared at him.
"Yeah. You were." She said, slowly.
"Hmmm, Maybe I should stop sneaking peanut butter sandwiches into my bed at midnight."
Mom stared at him.
"Uh huh." She muttered. "Well, get up. We're doing housecleaning today."
"WHAT!"
"Calvin, I don't want Rosalyn to think we're a bunch of slobs. And you're doing your share of the messes. starting with sweeping up all the crumbs on the floor in the kitchen."
"Mom, I don't have time for this!" Calvin yelled. "I need to guard the Mega-Shrinker 5000!"
Mom narrowed her eyes, crossed her arms, and glared murderously down at Calvin.
Calvin blinked.
"Or, maybe I could clean the house." He said. "What's the difference?"
Calvin spent the next few hours cleaning the house with Mom.
Rupert and Earl were watching through a camera they had set up in the house, and Rupert wasn't happy.
"What's this!" He yelled. "His mother is making him clean up his house!"
"That seems tiring and full of work." Earl said. "Especially without our cleaning technology."
"Yeah, but not tiring enough!" Rupert yelled. "And furthermore, I hate waiting. We're invading the house in thirty minutes."
"We can't do that." Earl insisted. "If his parents see us, that'll be the end of it."
Rupert turned a fierce grin onto Earl.
"Ah, but his dad is at work, leaving only his mother. And his mother is going to have to go to the store soon to buy more cleaning equipment."
"She'll take the Earth Potentate with her." Earl said.
"Not unless she'll only be gone for a couple of minutes." Rupert said. "The grocery store is a five minute walk from their house. All we have to do, is wait for the mother to leave, then we'll move in."
"Sir, he has all that weaponry." Earl said. "The laser gun, time stopper, and Miniature Time Machine. He has us outmatched. Even with our Ray Guns."
"He may have us outmatched," Rupert said. "But we have him outnumbered."
Rupert and Earl stared over at the lunatic crew a few feet away.
Earl turned to Rupert.
"Surely, you're not thinking of bringing them down there?" He asked.
"It will be a quick raid." Rupert said. "They wont have time to do anything stupid. We'll be there for twenty minutes"
"Pompey was destroyed in fifteen." Earl said.
"Earl, Lenny can't even find his back pocket in fifteen minutes."
"I'm not feeling any better."
After a while, Rupert convinced Earl to bring the crew along, saying that Calvin would panic with so many aliens in the house.
And so, they waited, and watched.
Earl told the crew to go get ready, and then kicked them out of the control room.
Meanwhile, back on Earth, Mom was beginning to run out of cleaning stuff.
"Calvin," she said, slipping on her shoes. "I'm going to the store to get some more Winddex. I expect the floors to be swept when I get back."
Calvin grunted.
Mom put on her sunglasses, then picked up a piece of paper.
She stared at it.
"I guess I might as well get some other things while I'm there." She said, tucking the grocery list into her purse.
And with that, she walked out the door.
Rupert and Earl watched.
Earl turned to his crew.
"Alright men, are we clear with the plan?"
Biff grinned.
"Sure!" He said.
Earl raised an eyebrow.
"What's the plan?" He quizzed.
The alien crew held a quick conference, then they turned back to Earl.
"Bishop to queen four?" Biff asked.
Earl slapped his forehead.
"I hate this crew." He muttered.