Finally, after fifteen minutes of flying up, Rupert, Earl, and the crew reached the kitchen.

Earl had also finally reached a solution to the rocket pack problem that the crew was having.

Earl had ordered the crew that whenever their rockets started acting up, that they should turn their rockets off completely.

The aliens had stared at him, and Dave had asked, "But then we'll fall."

To which Earl had replied, "Well, that's better than you slamming head first into me or Rupert,"

Anyway, when Rupert, Earl and the crew finally reached the kitchen, Rupert and Earl began discussing their plan.

"Alright," Rupert said. "Calvin doesn't have any rockets so we may be able to get to the shrink ray easier than he."

"OK." Earl said. "Then all we have to do is unshrink ourselves, and take the ray."

Rupert gave Earl a nasty grin.

"Exactly." He said.

Rupert rose into the air.

Earl gave his crew the orders to follow them.

Uh oh.

"Alright, Hobbes." Calvin whispered, as the black widow spider advanced. "One of us will cause a diversion while the other person gets away."

"What happens to the person who's causing the diversion?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, he get to be the first tiger to experience the digestion system of a spider."

"Yeah, and you'll be the first six year old with claw marks from your head to toe." Hobbes hissed.

The spider continued to come up upon them.

And there was poison dripping off its jaws.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at it.

"Well, here's another idea." Calvin whispered. "It's one where we run for our lives, while screaming like a couple morons."

"Sounds good."

"I think so."

There was a mad scramble, and the air was suddenly filled with the sounds of Calvin and Hobbes' maniacal screaming.

The spider roared and leaped after the two shrunk lunatics.

Calvin and Hobbes flew across the kitchen floor, screaming their heads off while the spider went roaring after them.

Then, Calvin and Hobbes came to the kitchen table.

"Quick!" Calvin yelled. "Hide behind the table leg!"

Calvin and Hobbes ducked behind the table leg next to them.

The spider came running up.

Its spider eyes cut from side to side.

Calvin and Hobbes stood behind the table leg, panting.

The spider screeched, interesting that you never think about what spiders would sound like if you were half and inch tall, and started towards the table leg.

Calvin and Hobbes were breathing hard, and their hearts were thumbing around like bass drums.

Suddenly, and how convenient, Calvin spotted a long piece of string on the floor.

Calvin nudged Hobbes and pointed at it.

Hobbes slapped his forehead, completely misinterpreting Calvin's message.

Before the spider reached him, Calvin rushed forward, and grabbed the string off the floor.

The spider's head shot around and its terrible four hundred eyes all fixed on Calvin.

"COME ON, HOBBES! RUN!" Calvin screamed.

Hobbes didn't need telling twice.

Hobbes didn't even have to lean forward or anything, he just automatically transformed into rocket tiger.

ZOOM!

Calvin and Hobbes bolted around to the other side of the table.

The spider watched, screeched again, and went clicking after them.

Once Calvin and Hobbes reached the west table leg, Calvin tied the string into a loop, started swinging it around like a cowboy, then let it fly upward to the table.

The string flew up to the top of the table, and hooked onto something.

Calvin tugged on it, several times, then started to climb up it.

Hobbes rushed to follow.

The spider then reached the string, stared up at's prey, and screeched.

Calvin finally climbed onto the table. He then stood there, and impatiently waited for Hobbes to climb on.

When Hobbes finally got on, they dared to relax.

"Whew!" Calvin sighed, sitting down. "What a relief."

At that very moment Calvin and Hobbes heard an odd noise.

"Hobbes?" Calvin whispered. "Do you hear something?"

"Yeah." Hobbes said. "clicking."

"Yes, now what form of thing makes clicking noises?" Calvin asked.

"Deranged black widow spiders climbing up a table leg to its powerless prey?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't think I'd put it like that, but, yes." Calvin whimpered.

The spider screeched as it continued to climb the table leg up to the table.

Calvin and Hobbes began backing away from the edge of the table.

The spider would be on in less than fifteen seconds.

Suddenly, Calvin and Hobbes backed into something.

Calvin looked up and saw... hmmm... a fruit bowl.

Before the spider came up, Calvin grabbed Hobbes by the arm, hurled him into the bowl, then flung himself in.

The spider peeked around the ridge of the table.

He climbed on, and started sniffing the place out.

Calvin and Hobbes sat on top of an orange, while they listened to the sound of the spider's low growling.

Suddenly, Calvin got an idea.

"Hobbes!" He hissed. "Help me out here."

Hobbes looked around and saw Calvin plucking grapes the size of bowling balls off of giant vines.

Hobbes started to pitch in.

Then, the spider started crawling for the fruit bowl.

He was about five feet away when Calvin suddenly appeared at the rim.

He heaved the giant grape up.

"FINLAND!" He screamed, holding the grape over his head, and letting it fly.

WHACK!

The grape collided with the spider, and both went rolling for the edge of the table.

They fell off the edge of the table, and onto the floor.

"HAND MORE AMMO, HOBBES!" Calvin screamed.

Hobbes started handing Calvin grape after grape.

Calvin piled them up in front of him on the table.

Then he picked one up, with much grunting an groaning, and prepared to hurl it at the spider when it came back up.

However, the spider seemed to have given up, and Calvin's "ammo" was immediately aimed at a new target.

Rupert, Earl, and the alien crew were flying four feet above the ground, just one foot above Calvin and Hobbes, see, and Calvin saw a need to disrupt their flight pattern.

He heaved the grape, and it landed right into the middle of Jack the alien.

"OOF!" He yelled, flying backward. "I'm hit!"

Can you guess what happened, then?

He totally lost control of his rocket pack, of course.

And once Jack lost control, all the other aliens thought that would be fun, so they joined in too.

And all at once, we had a whole crew of aliens screaming their heads off, and flying around in all directions.

Rupert turned a deadly expression to Calvin.

He whipped out his Ray gun, and before Calvin could get out of the way, he hit the trigger.

ZZZZT!

"YAAAAAAAAHH!" electricity engulfed Calvin he screamed, and tumbled into the fruit bowl.

After Rupert blasted him, Erne crashed into him, sending him flying.

Hobbes watched his flight.

When Calvin stood up, he had little cuts and scratches on his face, and there were little trickles of blood running down it.

Hobbes stared at him.

"Wow." He said. "Rupert sure did trash your face."

Calvin wiped the blood off his face with a hanky, and glared at Hobbes.

"Thanks, pal. Did you see what I did to him?"

"No."

"I gave him a crew that's spiraling in every direction."

"Yeah, but you're the only one wearing blood."

"That's right, Hobbes. And I wear it proudly. Do you know what we call this?"

"Well, let's see. A bloody nose?"

"No."

"Uh... lacerations and hemorrhaging?"

"No."

'Well, let me think. Uh... facial trauma?"

Calvin glared at him.

"You've missed the whole point, Hobbes, and please stop showing off, and using big words. Nobody is fooled by your childish expeditionism."

"You mean 'exhibitionism'?"

"I meant exactly what I said."

"What did you say?"

"I don't know what I said!" Calvin finally yelled. "But I said it! And I meant every word of it!"

"It was a big word."

"Of course it was a big word. Do you think I'd waste my time with scrawny little words? No sir! We should strive to enlarge our respective vocabularies, Hobbes, And it wouldn't hurt you to say a big word every now and then."

Hobbes stared at him.

"I thought you said..."

"Never mind. Let's return to my original question."

Calvin pointed at his bloody nose.

"What is another name for this?"

"Well... wreckage?"

Calvin wiped all the blood off, until the scars had virtually vanished, and he glared at Hobbes.

"We're out of time, and you've failed the quiz. I'm sorry."

"You couldn't help it."

"Thanks."

"Your welcome."

"It's called the Red Batch of Courage, Hobbes, because it takes a batch of courage to acquire all these scars. One of these days, maybe you'll win some."

"Not if I can help it."

"WHAT!"

"I said... oh boy. Scars. Blood. Scabs. Just what I always wanted on my nose."

"It'll come. Just be patient."

"Yeah right. There's an alien flying towards us."

"What?"

Hobbes pointed in front of him.

Calvin looked up.

One of the aliens was flying right for Calvin.

"YAAAAAAAH!" Calvin screamed.

POW!

The alien and Calvin collided, and Calvin suddenly felt that he was airborne.

Calvin tumbled down the alien's back, then grabbed hold of his strap.

Well, the rocket didn't like that, so it bucked and spewed fire, and attempted to throw Calvin off.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Calvin and the alien screamed as they flew around circles, semicircles, squares, rectangles, triangles, figure eights, spirals, zigzags, ovals, and so on.

Hobbes watched from the table.

Meanwhile, Dave collided with Earl who slammed into Lenny who crashed into Rupert...

Well, Calvin certainly did a good job disrupting their flight pattern.

Then the alien that Calvin was attached to started whirling towards the table.

Just as they were over it, Calvin released the strap, and went tumbling to the table.

Oh, and he crashed landed into the pile of grapes sending grapes everywhere.

When Calvin emerged he saw that all the aliens had crashed into the floor.

Calvin turned a grin onto Hobbes.

"Well, that was fun." Calvin said.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Just then, there was a low rumbling sound.

Calvin and Hobbes spun around, expecting to the see the deadly black widow.

HUH!

Mom was home!

And her car was pulling into the driveway!

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"We can't let Mom see us like this!" Calvin screamed. "We have to get off the table!"

"WAIT!" Hobbes yelled. "If we can get your Mom's attention, then she'll get the shrink ray out of the attic and save us!"

Calvin's eyes blanked out.

"Wait a minute, Hobbes! I have an idea! Why don't we just sit on the table, and call for Mom! She can get the Shrinker for us, and save us!"

"Gosh, I never would have thought that." Hobbes said.

"Exactly!" Calvin yelled. "Come on, we must alert the mother of the alien invasion!"

Calvin and Hobbes ran to the edge of the table.

The door in the kitchen came open, and Mom came in, holding a bag of groceries.

"CALVIN!" She called. "Where are you? Come on!"

"MOM!" Calvin screamed. "MOM I'M ON THE TABLE!"

"CALVIN! GET DOWN HERE!"

"HEY!" Hobbes screamed. "we're on the table!"

But Mom didn't hear Calvin and Hobbes' cries of help.

As the aliens on the floor dove for cover as Mom walked past, Calvin and Hobbes continued to call.

Mom was coming closer to the table, still holding the bag.

"MOM!" Calvin screamed. "THE TABLE! I'VE BEEN SHRUNK! I'VE BEEN COMPACTED! REDUCED! DECREASED! DWINDLED! CONTRACTED! COMPRESSED! CONSTRICT..."

HUH!

You'll never guess what Mom did then.