Shelby felt good. She was getting the best sleep she's had in years. She felt physically less tense and generally more relaxed. She was coming up with ingenious ideas for VA, even for her standards. She was on a roll. She was in such a good mood that she even ended rehearsal early for the first time in almost two-and-a-half years.
Shelby rode the high of meeting Rachel all the way up until she walked into the meeting with the lawyers, when reality promptly slapped her in the face.
Everything had gone well for the most part. They were all in agreement that they would divide joint legal custody three-ways so that they each had an equal share of major decisions-making powers. And joint physical custody would be split between Hiram and Shelby since Leroy had no plans to move back to Ohio, but was promised that he'd get priority during Rachel's school breaks and holidays.
They all agreed on those terms rather quickly, but decided that they would wait to file it in court until they discussed it with Rachel. They didn't want her to feel like she didn't have any say. Hiram and Leroy both assured Shelby that Rachel would approve, and that filing it would just merely be a formality. Regardless, they would all tread slowly, adjust, and work it out so that they had a setup that was in Rachel's best interest.
After all the T's were crossed and the I's dotted, the two men looked over at Shelby in apprehension. She looked up and met their inquisitive gazes.
"So, how do you feel?" Leroy asked first breaking the silence.
"Good," Shelby said truthfully. "And thank you again, both of you, so much, for letting me be a part of Rachel's life. You don't know how much this means to me. I'm going to do my very best to do right by Rachel and make this work."
"Of course Shelby, but you don't have to thank us," Hiram said genuinely. "It's the right thing to do for you and for Rachel."
"And we're a team," Leroy added. "We have your back now. We'll all make it work."
Shelby smiled at the two men in front of her in appreciation. She didn't harbor any animosity towards them for keeping her from her daughter. They only did what they thought was best. Despite their divorce, they had clearly raised a smart, kind, and caring young lady and provided her with a safe and comfortable life, and that's all that Shelby's ever wanted for her daughter. And none of that mattered now, anyway. Shelby was ready to let bygones be bygones. There was no time for dwelling now that she had a new life ahead of her with her daughter.
"Besides, we know you'll be a great mom," Hiram said with certainty.
Maybe it was the conviction in the way Hiram said it. Maybe it was how easily everything played out and Shelby was used to fighting for her life for anything that she's ever wanted. Maybe it was all the sincere faith that the two dads seemed to have placed in her that Shelby didn't feel she deserved yet. But in that moment, the reality of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks. How can she be a great mom if she doesn't even have any experience being a mom at all in the first place?
Sure, she loves Rachel more than anything in the world. She always has. And there's nothing that she wouldn't do to keep her happy, healthy, and safe. She'd even find a way to give her the moon if her daughter asked her for it. But was that enough?
Shelby didn't know the first thing about being a mother, let alone being one to a teenager. For all intents and purposes, Rachel was already grown up. And not only that, she already had two parents. Does she really need another one?
Shelby was so caught up in the excitement of it all and how she was feeling that she hadn't even stopped to think about how Rachel would feel. Rachel herself just admitted that it's been a "challenging" year for her. Shelby didn't want their reunion to be another source of stress for her. There was already a lot for the young girl to navigate in the wake of her fathers' divorce and she didn't want to confuse her any further. It wouldn't be fair to throw herself into equation for her own benefit.
"Thanks," she said simply because she didn't trust herself to say anything more in the wake of this new revelation. "Will you let me know what Rachel says tonight when you tell her?"
"Of course," Leroy promised. "We'll call you as soon as Rach goes to bed tonight. Don't worry, Shelby."
Too late. Shelby's insecurity was nearing a level she didn't even know existed. All the years of progress and acceptance and healing that she's worked toward had just come undone.
"So what are your Halloween plans tonight?" Hiram asked, oblivious to the woman's internal crisis.
"Oh, um, I'm going over to my parent's house to help them pass out candy and to see my niece and nephew before they head out to go trick-or-treating," Shelby said distractedly. "I actually better go. We're done here, right?"
Shelby went into autopilot as she gathered her things and said her goodbyes. She spent the drive to her parent's preoccupied with her thoughts. By the time she parked her Range Rover in the driveway, she was in full blown panic mode. Was she doing the right thing?
Before she could wrack her brain for an answer, a loud honk from her sister's car pulling into the driveway behind her tore her away from her thoughts. There was no time to dwell on it because as soon as she got out the car two little monsters almost tackled her to the ground.
"Aunt Shelly!" Shelby's niece and nephew yelled as they crashed into her legs.
"Hey my little bugs!" Shelby said as she crouched down to pull the five-year-old twins into her arms and gave them kisses on their cheeks. "I've missed you! Did you guys get bigger since the last time I saw you?"
"Aunt Shelly, you're silly," Robby said giggling. "We just saw you for dinner on Sunday, there's no way we got that much bigger in only a few days."
"Yeah? Then why are you guys so excited to see me then if it's only been a few days!" Shelby teased as she stood up and ruffled his hair.
"Because mommy said you have candy for us," Lily said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Did she now?" Shelby questioned as she looked up to see her younger sister Kim trekking up the driveway with bags in hand. "But you don't even have your costumes on. Can you go inside to get changed and come show me? The first one done gets two pieces of candy from me!"
"I don't know where they're running off to because I have their costumes," Kim said laughing as her kids raced inside the house. "You ok? How'd the meeting with the lawyers go?"
"Good," Shelby lied as she took one of the bags from her sister. "You look like you're moving in, what's all this?"
"You're lying," Kim deduced quickly. "But we'll talk about it later? Frannie's coming by to take photos of us with the kids before we head out. I think she's actually already inside with mom."
"Yeah I'm fine, don't worry," Shelby insisted.
"You're so stubborn. But hey, I got you something," Kim said as she pulled out a black witch hat from one of her bags and threw it to her sister. "Thought this would suit you. I think dad might even have some green paint in the garage if you're trying to defy some gravity tonight."
"You're so annoying that doesn't even make sense," Shelby laughed as she caught the hat and shoved her sister through the door.
"Man, no good deed really goes unpunished," Kim said laughing even harder as she entered the house.
"Girls, we're in the kitchen!" Anne Corcoran called out when she heard her daughters walk through the door. Shelby and Kim walked into the bright and spacious kitchen and found their mom standing around the island with their neighbor Judy.
When Judy and Russell Fabray moved in next door almost 30 years ago, they became fast friends with Anne and Robert Corcoran. Their families enjoyed each other's company and they spent many dinners and random holidays together. Consequently, the Fabray's oldest daughter Frannie and Kim, who were similar in age, grew up to be best friends. The Fabrays decided to add to their family 14 years ago when they had their youngest daughter Quinn. With Shelby's permission, Judy and Russell knew about Rachel but Frannie and Quinn did not. The couple were devastated for Shelby and their old friends and the grandchild that they won't be able to see grow up.
"Mom, Shelly hit me," Kim whined as she set her bags down on the island.
"I did not! It was merely a love tap," Shelby argued, moving to give her mom and Judy a quick hug hello.
"You two are worse than Robby and Lily," Anne said rolling her eyes at her daughters' antics.
"You should see Frannie and Quinn go at it," Judy chuckled as she sipped her coffee. "Speaking of which, Kim, Frannie just left to pick up Quinn from Cheerios practice, so she might be running a little late."
"That's alright," Kim said. "We're still waiting for Brian and then I have to get the kids changed first anyway and I'm sure that'll be a process."
"Will you finally tell us what your family costume is?" Shelby inquired. "You've been hyping this up for months."
"Nope," Kim said popping the P at the end. "You'll just have to wait for the big reveal big sis, but prepared to have your mind blown with cuteness overload."
"And you all call me the dramatic one?" Shelby said, shaking her head at her younger sister who stuck her tongue out at her before she walked out of the room in search of her twins.
"Anyway, how's Quinn doing at McKinley?" Anne asked Judy, changing the subject. "Freshman year can be rough. Is she adjusting well?"
"Yeah, I think so," Judy nodded. "She joined the Cheerios I think in part because she wanted to be like Frannie but she also joined the Glee Club? Russ and I didn't even know until she came back the other week from a Sectionals competition that they had apparently won. She seems to really enjoy it. She says she's made some new friends there. We're definitely going to go to their Regionals competition."
Anne met Shelby's gaze at this new information and instantly saw her daughter's body tense up. She moved instinctively and placed her hand on her daughter's back and rubbed it in comfort. They were having a silent conversation with their eyes and Judy immediately picked up on the shift in the mood of the room.
"What's happening?" Judy asked in confusion. "Did I say something wrong?"
A few moments passed and Shelby took a deep breath. "No, it's just that—I saw Rachel."
"What! Where?" Judy said, her eyes widening in shock.
"At that Sectionals competition you're talking about. I was there for work, and I saw her perform with the McKinley Glee Club," Shelby explained. "I'm sorry, I should've noticed Quinn there but I was so caught up with unexpectedly seeing Rachel, and then I ran into her dad. We met up last weekend and, long story short, they got divorced and they moved Rachel back here to Lima. She's also a freshman at McKinley and anyway, they want me to be a part of her life. We just met with our lawyers to go over a custody arrangement."
Judy's jaw dropped at the news. She set her coffee mug down and pulled in Shelby for a hug.
"Shelby, wow," Judy said as she hugged the young woman tightly. "I don't even know what to say, but I'm so happy for you. You deserve this. You deserve Rachel in your life. You're going to be a terrific mother. "
There it was again. That seemingly blind faith to Shelby that she would be a good mom and that she deserved Rachel. But did Rachel deserve her? Tears started to prick at the corner of her eyes and Shelby quickly blinked them away.
Her mother, however, noticed and gave her daughter a concerned look.
"Honey, how did it go with the lawyers?" Anne questioned.
"It went well," Shelby said. "They're going to discuss it with Rachel tonight and tell her about me. We have plans for us to meet on Saturday. But I don't know mom, I just—"
"We're here!" A voice called out from the front door, interrupting Shelby's train of thought. Her mother gave her an apologetic look and silently promised that they'd discuss this more later.
Frannie and Quinn walked into the kitchen completely oblivious to the tense environment they just walked into.
"Mom, Frannie just totally embarrassed me in front of my friends when she picked me up," Quinn complained. "Can you please tell her to be less obnoxious when she gets me from school?"
"Oh c'mon Lucy, it was just Santana and Britt. They don't even count," Frannie said rolling her eyes at her little sister. "Who was the other one that you were talking to, anyway? Is she a part of the Unholy Trinity now?"
"Hey! Mom said you have to stop calling us that," Quinn said, looking at Judy for support. "And she's new. Her name is Rachel Berry and she just moved here from Chicago. She's in Glee Club with us. We were just inviting her to go to Noah Puckerman's Halloween party with us, but she said she had to do something with her dads." Quinn shrugged and Shelby's heart began to race hearing about her daughter.
"She probably just doesn't want to go cause she doesn't want to hang out with you," Frannie teased and her mom smacked her arm to reprimand her.
"Not true!" Quinn replied. "I think she's pretty cool even though she's kind of a know-it-all, but she is really smart and talented. She's probably the best in Glee and she always helps me in bio. Me and Britt like her, but Rachel and Santana don't really get along, even though I don't think Rachel's done anything wrong to her. We invited her so they can get to know each other tonight, but she said she had other plans."
Anne's heart soared hearing about her granddaughter. "That's really nice of you to try to include her, Quinn," Anne said gratefully. "I'm sure she appreciates you trying to be her friend."
"Yeah," Quinn said casually, unaware of how much her actions meant to the older women in the room. "But anyway, she probably won't even want to hang out with me now after seeing how weird Frannie is."
"Stop being a drama queen," Frannie retorted. "Next time, you can walk home then. And besides, you know I'm cooler than you."
"Girls!" Judy began to admonish. Shelby tuned out the rest of the conversation suddenly feeling extremely overwhelmed. She was about to reach her boiling point and needed reprieve.
"Hey, where's dad?" Shelby asked, turning her focus to her mom.
"He should be in the music room," Anne said, understanding that her daughter needed a moment to herself. "Go on and see him, honey. I'll come get the two of you when Kim and the kids are ready."
Shelby nodded in appreciation and walked away to search for her dad.
As she walked down the hall, she automatically smiled when she heard the piano softly playing. Shelby loved both of her parents with her entire heart equally, but growing up, she had always been a daddy's girl. She got her love and appreciation of music from him. He was a musician once-upon-a-time who studied and trained to be a jazz pianist in college. He had a nascent piano career that was cut short when he fell in love with a schoolteacher from Ohio. It was love at first sight, and they got married within six months of dating. One year later, they had a beautiful baby girl. He traded in his piano and went back to school so he can get a stable job and provide for his family. He worked as an accountant instead for most of his life and not once regretted giving up his music career for his family. It was well worth it to raise two beautiful girls who grew up to achieve their own dreams and found even more success than he ever dreamed of for them.
"Hi Shelly-Bean," her dad said as Shelby stood at the doorway of the music room. When Shelby started to make real money from Broadway, the first thing she did was set up a college fund for Rachel. The second thing she did was pay off her parent's house, renovate it, and built an addition, a music room equipped with a baby grand piano, as a thank you for all their sacrifices. She hoped that it would encourage her father to pick up where he left off.
"How do you do that?" Shelby questioned, crossing the room, and taking a seat at the spot her dad left for her on the piano bench. "How do you always know I'm right behind you when you're playing the piano? It could be mom or Kim."
"Father's intuition?" Robert shrugged and smiled at Shelby. He instantly noticed the worry etched across his daughter's face. "You okay, Shelly-Bean? How'd it go with the Berry's?"
"Good," Shelby sighed, answering the question for the third time. "And bad. I don't know, dad. The Berry's were wonderful. Formally, we decided to share legal custody between the three of us and physical custody between me and Hiram. We're going to play it by ear though to see how Rachel reacts. They're being more than fair, but I'm just so worried. I felt so good about this before, but what if we're not doing the right thing? Rachel's already going through a lot with the divorce, what if adding me into her life is too confusing for her or overwhelming for her?"
Shelby's thoughts were racing at a million miles per minute now. The anxiety that's been building up all afternoon had now settled in full force. She didn't even realize she was struggling to breathe until her dad turned her towards him and looked at his daughter with nothing but love and concern in his eyes.
"Hey, Shelby, will you look at me?" He implored, trying to pull his daughter away from her panic-inducing thoughts. He placed his daughter's hand on his chest and started to take slow and even breaths.
"Can you breathe for me, sweetheart? It'll all be alright, but I need you to relax," he said softly, trying to calm her down before he could quell her fears. "Just follow my breathing. In and out. In and out."
They sat there like that for a few minutes while Shelby tried to regain control of her breathing. Once she felt the anxiety start to dissipate, the tears started to fall. Robert reacted quickly and pulled his daughter into a tight hug, smoothing her hair down and rubbing her back in comfort.
"I'm so sorry dad," Shelby cried into his shoulder in embarrassment. "I know I sound like such a broken record and I know I'm being childish. Look at me, how am I supposed to be a mom to Rachel if I can't even handle this now?"
"Hey now, there will be none of that," Robert reprimanded as he pulled away and began wiping away her tears with his thumbs. He cupped Shelby's face and felt his heart break looking into his daughter's broken eyes that bore so many unresolved feelings. Ever since she was a young girl, his daughter had always been so strong and so unapologetic about who she was and what she wanted. She was strong-willed, naturally intelligent, and wildly talented. And she grew up to be a woman who was the best version of that and more. Robert always thought that Shelby was unlimited. But on the flip side of that, his daughter was also fragile and vulnerable. Of his two kids, she was the one who always felt things so deeply. She always reacted faster and more intensely than other people did. Shelby loved bigger, cared bigger, and experienced life bigger. As much as that was one of her greatest qualities, it was also one of her greatest downfalls. Because of this, she's always felt obligated to save people, to fix things, to make it better. Robert knows it's what led his daughter to agree to be a surrogate for the Berry's in order to help him, to save him. He could never repay his daughter back for the sacrifice she made for him. And he'll never forgive himself for the 13 years they spent apart, but he would move the heavens and the earth right now to help his daughter realize that this was the right thing to do. He knew unequivocally that she was going to be an excellent mother to Rachel, and Shelby just needed a push understanding that.
"Look at me Shelby, and listen to me very carefully," Robert demanded. "Will you care for and provide for Rachel?"
"Of course," Shelby said with no hesitation.
"Will you protect her and guide her?"
"As best as I can."
"Will you put her needs first? Above your own or anyone else's?"
"Always."
"Do you love her?"
"More than I can bear," Shelby said, her voice breaking.
"Then it's the right thing to do, sweetheart," Robert said truthfully. "You answered all of that without any doubts. Just because you haven't been in Rachel's life doesn't mean that you haven't been a mother this entire time. You've been caring for her, protecting her, putting her first, and loving her since the moment she was born. You've been a great mom this entire time, Shelby. I know you're scared and I know you're worried if you're doing the right thing or if it's what best for Rachel, but that feeling doesn't really go away. That's being a parent. You are her mom and there's no doubt in my mind that she needs you and that you can only bring nothing but joy into her life. You understand?"
Still feeling a bit overwhelmed, Shelby only nodded, slowly letting her dad's words sink in.
"You're also not giving yourself or Hiram and Leroy enough credit," Robert continued. "Don't you think that her dads, who have known Rachel and have raised her for 13 years, know and understand what she needs best? And if they say that it's you, that you should trust them?"
Shelby nodded realizing that she hadn't even thought about that. The Berry's have been telling her this entire time that this is what their daughter needed. They were trusting her. She was the only one who wasn't listening and didn't trust herself.
"And not only that Shelbs, but it's okay to feel scared, it's okay to feel overwhelmed," he said, wiping away the last of Shelby's tears. "But please don't feel like you're ever alone in this. We're all here for you. And luckily for you, you have two amazing moms in your life to help you learn the ropes. Me and your mom and Kim will all help you and Rachel make this work. We'll all figure it out, together. You don't have to be perfect, sweetheart. You just have to try."
Shelby started crying again but this time from the fullness she felt in her heart realizing that her dad was right. There's nothing she couldn't do if she had the support of her family and if they believed in her, she also had to believe in herself. Shelby wrapped her arms her father's neck and hugged him fiercely.
"I will," she promised. "Thanks, dad."
Robert kissed his daughter's forehead and wiped away her tears for the last time. "I meant every word," he smiled kindly. "No more tears. This is a wonderful thing for all of us, so don't act like it's anything less. I can't wait to meet Rachel. I already love her so much."
"She'll love you too," Shelby assured him.
"Thanks, sweetheart," Robert said as he patted her leg. "So what do you say we go find the others? Kim promised me something about cuteness overload."
"Yeah," Shelby said giving her dad a genuine smile for the first time that afternoon. She got up and couldn't help hugging her dad again. He always knew the right thing to say or do. Shelby would be lost without him. "You're going to be an incredible grandfather to Rachel."
"And you'll be an even better mom," Robert said as he put his arm around her shoulder and led her out the room.
"Hi! I was just coming to get you," Anne said as she ran into her husband and daughter in the hallway. She quickly examined Shelby and noticed her watery eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, Shelly-Bean is going be just fine," Robert answered for his daughter. Anne looked at her for confirmation and Shelby nodded and gave her a small smile.
"I love you guys," Shelby said in appreciation.
"We love you more, honey," Anne said as she tucked Shelby's hair behind her ear. "We're here for you. Always."
"Mom! Dad? Shelly! Are you guys coming?" Kim called out from a distance.
"We better let your sister get this show started," Robert said laughing.
They entered the foyer and were stopped by Frannie who was holding her camera.
"I was told to make you guys wait here for their grand entrance," Frannie said shepherding the three Corcorans to the middle of the foyer so they had a perfect view of the staircase.
"How does Kim always con you into her shenanigans?" Shelby asked amused. "I hope she's paying you for your services today."
Frannie was a professional photographer and owned a successful studio in town. "She already gave me a bag of Reese's as a down payment," Frannie said.
"Are you guys ready?!" Kim called from the second floor.
"We're literally all just waiting for you," Shelby said impatiently. "Hurry up!"
"Okay! Frannie, drum roll please!" Kim yelled. The kids were giggling as Frannie started to drum roll on her legs.
"Presenting.. in a Corcoran-Jennings family production.. 'For the First Time in Forever'.. Kim and Lily as Princess Anna and Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" Kim's husband Brian announced from the second floor.
Music started playing and Kim appeared at the top of the stairs dressed as Princess Anna with Lily in hand dressed as Queen Elsa. Shelby's heart burst with happiness at Lily who was wearing Elsa's signature sparkly blue dress and was sporting a braid complete with a tiara. When the little girl got to the foot of the stairs, she promptly twirled around in her dress and curtsied in front of the adults. A chorus of 'Awws' broke out across room.
"Next up… we have everybody's favorite snow friend who doesn't have a skull or bones, but loves warm hugs.. Robby as Olaf!" Brian announced again. Robby walked down the stairway next dressed up in a fully-decked out Olaf costume. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he crossed the foyer, hugged Shelby, and said, "Some people are just worth melting for." Touché Kim, cuteness overload indeed.
"And finally.. he's the hottest iceman around even though he thinks 'Reindeer Are Better Than People'.. we have Brian as Kristoff!" Kim said, taking over the emceeing from her husband who started walking down the stairs stopping to strike silly poses for the kids, all the while Frannie was focused on taking her expert shots.
"Okay, okay," Shelby said laughing. "That was epic. You all look incredible."
"Heck yeah we do," Kim said clearly pleased with herself. "I think this even beats the time dad made us dress up as Star Wars characters and he made you be Darth Vader."
"But Shelly-Bean was such an adorable Sith Lord," Robert teased pinching his oldest daughter's cheek.
"Our family is so ridiculous," Shelby said laughing, her spirit lifted by all the love and happiness surrounding her.
"And we can't wait for Rachel to join it," Anne said excitedly. The four of them looked at each other and nothing more needed to be said. Shelby knew right then and there that she needed to let go of her fears and simply trust that everything would be okay.
A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed meeting Shelby's family! Rachel and Shelby will finally meet "formally" as mother and daughter in the next chapter.