Shelby stood in front of the mirror examining herself in her third outfit that morning. At this point she's tried on a skirt, a dress, and the current outfit she had on was a slacks and purple blouse combo complete with her signature heels. It was too 'Coach Corcoran' for her liking, and the first two outfits gave her 'Shelby Corcoran, Broadway Actress' vibes.
She kicked off her heels and sighed in frustration as she walked into her spacious walk-in-closet for the hundredth time that day. She needed an outfit that said 'Shelby Corcoran, Rachel Berry's mom.' She knew she was overthinking it but it was distracting her from the nerves.
When Hiram and Leroy called Shelby the other night, they told her that Rachel had taken the news very calmly. Rachel confessed to her dads that she had always wanted to know who her mom was, but was too afraid to ask because she didn't want to hurt their feelings. Shelby felt uneasy about that because if there was anything that she knew about her daughter—from what she's heard and from the brief interaction she's had with her—she was anything but calm.
Leroy assured her that Rachel's subdued reaction was probably just shock and that the young girl just needed some time to process. The only encouragement that Shelby had to hold on to was the fact that Rachel had apparently agreed to meet Shelby for brunch without any hesitation.
Still, something didn't feel right to Shelby. She couldn't have guessed how Rachel was going to react, but she would've taken a little excitement or even some outrage than the alleged solemn reply she had given. That, to Shelby, could mean anything. Maybe she was angry at the news or maybe she was elated but didn't want to offend her fathers. Or worse, maybe it meant indifference. Maybe Rachel just didn't care and she only agreed to meet her out of curiosity.
Shelby shook those unpleasant thoughts out of her head before she could spiral. Either way, whatever Rachel was thinking, she would find out soon enough. She looked at the clock and realized that she had to leave the house in the next five minutes if she wanted to be on time.
Picking up her pace, she grabbed a pair of dark wash jeans and a stylish gray sweater from her closet. She put it on and slipped into a pair of ankle boots. She examined herself in the mirror one more time and smiled. There. It was simple, comfortable, and she finally looked like herself.
She grabbed everything she needed and ran out of the house in record time. She hated rushing, but she also couldn't hold in the excitement anymore. As nervous as she was, she was also beyond eager to finally be reunited with daughter.
Not wanting to be alone with her thoughts in fear of psyching herself out, she turned on the satellite radio and clicked the preset for the Broadway station. "Mama Who Bore Me" from Spring Awakening immediately started playing and Shelby let out a small laugh at the irony, feeling slightly attacked by the universe. Ok then, news talk radio it is.
Shelby pulled up outside the Berry house 20 minutes later and cut the engine. She looked up at the two-story brick house lined with a white picket fence and felt a sudden rush of emotions overcome her. The last time she was here was the night before she gave birth to Rachel. So much has happened since then, and so much will happen in the days to come. Shelby allowed herself a second to compose herself before getting out of the car and walking up to the front door.
Right as she was about to knock, the door flung open and Shelby met Hiram's surprised face.
"Hey! Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you," Hiram apologized noting Shelby's startled expression. "You're right on time, but Leroy's running a little late and I actually was just about to run out to the store to grab some more coffee. We're out and I think we'll need it," he joked.
Shelby smiled realizing that Rachel's nervous habit of rambling definitely comes from him.
"That's alright! Do you want me to go and get it? I don't mind. I brought some orange juice and blueberry muffins I made this morning but unfortunately no caffeine," Shelby shrugged as she lifted up the bags in her hand.
"No, of course not! Please come in and make yourself comfortable," Hiram moved to let the woman inside the house. "I'll be really quick. I think Rachel's still up in her room getting ready. You can go up and see her, she's actually in your old room or stay down here and wait? It's totally up to you."
Shelby's heart rate picked up at the suggestion and she took a second to weigh her options.
"Thanks. Yeah, I think I'll go up and see her," Shelby said, leaning into the sudden burst of courage she felt.
"Ok great! Well I guess you know your way around, but do you want me to come up there with you?" Hiram questioned, picking up on the new mom's slight hesitation.
"That's okay," Shelby said. She's not scared of her 13-year-old daughter. Or at least she shouldn't be. "I'll just drop this off in the kitchen and then go say hello. It'll be fine," Shelby said more for herself than Hiram.
"I know. She's going to love you, Shelby."
Shelby nodded and gave him a grateful smile for his encouragement. Once the door closed behind him, she took a deep breath and made her way to the kitchen. Another wave of emotions hit her as she walked through the house. They made so many memories here together. Good ones, Shelby noted. As much as this what about her reunion with Rachel, Shelby was also glad to have Hiram and Leroy back in her life. They were all friends once and she was hoping that they could go back to that.
After she put away her food, she started to make her way to the second floor. Shelby furrowed her brow in confusion as she got closer to Rachel's room. She swore she could hear herself speaking.
"I am so incredibly proud to be in a musical that celebrates women and celebrates their strengths and their differences. To be in the company of these women this evening is just a dream come true for me. Thank you so much."
When she got to the top landing, she immediately spotted Rachel through the open door sitting at her desk with her back turned away from the hallway. She was watching Shelby's Tony Award acceptance speech on her laptop.
"And April Rhodes, you are the grace and the light on that stage every night. This is something that we built together and I love you," a young joy-filled and emotional Shelby continued.
Shelby smirked in amusement and leaned her slender body against the frame of the door, deciding that she'd wait until the end to let her presence be known.
"Thank you with all my heart to everyone on the cast, crew, and creative team who has had so much faith in me and kicked my butt into this role. I truly love what I do and it's because of all of you. But the biggest thank you tonight belongs to my family. My parents Anne and Robert Corcoran and my sister Kim are here tonight. Thank you for giving me roots, for believing in me even when I felt like the biggest loser, and for teaching me how to fly. I love you guys so much. And finally, to the little girl that's always in my heart and continues to inspire me every single day. This is for you. This is for us. Thank you."
"You know," Shelby said, clearing her throat as she walked into her daughter's room. "I was talking about you."
Rachel jumped up in shock at the unexpected interruption. Her heart racing, she quickly turned around and came face-to-face with her mother.
"Sorry!" Shelby apologized, feeling guilty for frightening her daughter. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you. The door was open. I just got here and your dad left to grab some coffee."
"Oh that's okay, I was just—" Rachel instantly blushed realizing that she just got caught cyberstalking Shelby on the internet. "Sorry, what did you say? You were talking about who?"
"You. In my Tony speech, the little girl I was talking about was you."
Rachel's face broke out into an interested smile and Shelby cheered internally at the positive reaction.
"Really? I always thought you were talking about yourself and that you were thanking the little girl inside of you. You know, the one that's always dreamed of being on Broadway and winning a Tony. I mean, that's what I read in one of your interviews," Rachel confessed, her hand instantly moving to cover her mouth realizing that she just outed herself again. She couldn't help it.
"No," Shelby said unfazed and took another step closer towards her daughter. "I guess that's what I told reporters but it was always about you."
"Oh," Rachel said meekly while shifting the weight on her feet.
Shelby looked at her daughter in front of her and wondered if every time she saw Rachel that it would always feel like it was the first time. She was so beautiful. It took her breath away.
Shelby reached out and tucked a stray hair behind Rachel's ear. "Hi," Shelby said softly, looking into her daughter's deep brown eyes.
"Hi," Rachel replied.
"I'm your mom."
"Yeah. You're my mom," the young girl repeated as she sat down on the edge of her bed.
Shelby couldn't discern what Rachel was thinking but took that as a cue to join her and sat down next to her. She took a moment to look around the room and noticed the bits of her personality that covered it, from the playbills tastefully displayed on the wall to the worn-down ballet flats sitting in the corner and the Jane Austen novels that lined her bookshelf. This was Rachel. There was so much she had to learn about her daughter and that thrilled Shelby more than anything else.
"How do you feel?" Shelby asked, tentatively placing her hand over Rachel's on the bed.
"I'm—I'm not sure," Rachel said honestly, meeting her mother's questioning green eyes. They were so full of unmistakable love and concern, the young girl had to look away.
"That's okay," Shelby assured her while she absentmindedly rubbed a soothing pattern on the back of Rachel's hand with her thumb. "Do you have any questions for me?"
"My dads told me about the contract, did you ever regret signing it?" Rachel asked in a small and hesitant voice.
Shelby moved her head to see her daughter's downcast and nervous eyes and felt her heart constrict at the complicated question.
"Yes and no," she said truthfully. "But that's a difficult question to answer, Rachel. I have never regretted being a surrogate for your dads. But I wasn't ready to be a mom. I was so young."
"And because you wanted to be on Broadway?"
"That was a part of it, sure. I guess I needed the chance to fulfill my dreams, but I also needed to give you the chance to grow up in a comfortable and stable home."
A few moments passed and Shelby could practically hear the wheels turning in her kid's head. She knew she had to take the lead on this.
"Let me ask you something, Rachel. I know this may seem like a broad question but would you say that you had a good childhood? So far?"
"Yes," Rachel said without skipping a beat.
"And would you say that your fathers gave you everything that you've ever needed?"
Rachel nodded her head. She didn't have to think too hard about it. She knew she was lucky. Not only did she get everything she's ever needed, she also got almost everything she's ever wanted. From the singing and dance lessons to the plethora of animal sweaters in her closet, her dads rarely said no to her. Though it's not to say they're complete pushovers, they were also strict when they needed to be and had set firm boundaries for their daughter. More often, though, they were so loving and kind and attentive. They were the best dads a girl like Rachel could've ever asked for. Everything was perfect. Until they got divorced.
"That's great Rachel," Shelby said in a faraway voice. "Because that's all I've ever wanted for you. I couldn't have provided for you in the way that your dads have."
"But you were so successful," Rachel questioned her logic. It's not that she didn't trust her mother. Fundamentally, she understood her reasoning. But she was just so confused. If Shelby loves Rachel the way that she, and even her dads, claims she does, then why didn't she fight for her? Or try to break the contract anytime in the last 13 years? Why does she only want to be her mom now? And not last year when she really needed her or any of the years before that? She's been trying so hard during the past couple of days, but she couldn't really wrap her head around it.
Shelby could sense the girl's doubts and didn't blame her. She sighed knowing that she had an uphill battle to climb to help her daughter understand the decisions and the sacrifices that were made. Shelby knew that it would be a struggle and that there's no way Rachel would really be able to comprehend the why's until she was a mother herself. But it wouldn't be fair to dismiss her daughter's doubts just based on that. Whatever Rachel was feeling was valid and Shelby had no right to question that. She would just simply have to help her work through it and explain, in the best that she can, that every choice that was considered and every decision that was made was done with her best interest in mind.
"Rach? Will you look at me?" Shelby asked, subconsciously using the girl's nickname.
The teenager reluctantly turned her head to face her mother. Shelby grabbed both of her hands and held onto them. Rachel couldn't help but feel comfort instantaneously. Once she had her daughter's full attention, Shelby gave her a small smile.
"Eventually, yes, I did find a lot of success," she began to explain. "But what you were just seeing with that speech or whatever you were reading on the internet was the other side of a long string of failures. It was a result of a lot of hard work, more rejections than I can count, and so many difficult, sometimes very painful, sacrifices. Maybe some people would say that I got lucky in my career, but I would say that it wasn't luck but a lot of hard work and perseverance. Especially in the beginning, I was living paycheck to paycheck, getting barely five hours of sleep every night, working three jobs, spending hours commuting because I was actually living in Jersey and couldn't afford to live in Manhattan. It was a lot of no's and closed doors and wondering if I was good enough to make it. It often meant being alone and being away from my family and my friends, being away from you. And I'm not saying it wasn't worth it, Rachel. I love what I do. And I'm so beyond grateful that it did work out for me, but it wasn't without struggle and it wasn't without hardship. If it was easy, maybe we could've been together. I don't know, Rach. But that wasn't the right environment to bring a baby into. You deserved everything and as much as I would've wanted to, and I did, so badly, I wasn't in the right place in my life to give you all that you needed. And I am so sorry about that, but I promise you that I am ready now. If you're willing to let me be in your life, if you're willing to let me be your mom. I'm more than ready now."
Rachel was hanging on to every word that Shelby said. She was letting it sink in and she was slowly starting to understand. But that still didn't make it hurt any less. She can tell that her mom loves her. She can hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes, but she was so torn between leaning into it or running away from it. Maybe it would've been easier if her mom had turned out to be a complete stranger. But instead her mom was Shelby Corcoran. And as happy and as excited that it's made her, she also couldn't help but feel cheated. She was always right there and yet she never had her. But she didn't know how to tell her mom that yet. It was all still too overwhelming.
Rachel didn't realize that she was crying until Shelby began to tenderly wipe away her tears. It was such a soft and loving gesture that it only made the young girl cry even harder. Without even thinking about it, she flung herself into her mother's arms. Shelby instantly pulled her daughter close and hugged her tightly.
"Oh, my baby. It'll be okay. We'll be okay," she promised, rubbing soothing circles on her child's back. Shelby held on for a few seconds waiting for her daughter to calm down. Once she felt Rachel's tears start to subside, she pulled away and looked over her with concern.
"I'm sorry," Rachel said wiping away the last of her tears. As confused as she was and despite all of her conflicting emotions, Rachel was certain about one thing and being in her arms confirmed it: she needed her mom. "And yes."
"What, Rach?"
"I want you to be my mom."
Shelby let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding and pure joy coursed through her body. She gently stroked Rachel's hair away from her face and kissed her forehead.
"Thank you, Rachel. Thank you so much."
Rachel melted into her mother's touch and found herself wrapped up in another hug. It felt so natural. They stayed in that position for a little while, neither one willing to let go, until Rachel's stomach let out a loud grumble interrupting the moment.
"Sorry," Rachel said, reluctantly pulling away. "I went for a run earlier and I haven't had anything to eat since then."
"Then let's go get you something to eat," Shelby decided. There would be more time to discuss everything later. But right now, she needed to feed her kid. "I think your dads are probably downstairs by now. Should we go look for them?"
"Yeah," Rachel said as she got up but paused momentarily. "Can I meet you down there though? I think I just—I need a second."
"Sure Rach," Shelby nodded. She can almost feel the girl's distress and wanted to pull her into her arms again but held off noticing that her daughter needed space. "I'll see you downstairs."
As soon as Shelby walked out into the hallway, a flood of intense emotions rapidly hit her. She held onto the wall and took a deep, centering breath. Shelby knew that she was strong. Her parents raised her to be. And her life experiences have taught her how to fight and be tenacious. But anytime it was about her daughter, anytime Rachel was thrown into the equation, she always felt so uncertain and vulnerable and like ground beneath her was crumbling. However, she couldn't let it all get away from her now, not anymore. She needed to step up and be strong now for not only herself but also for her daughter. It's what they both needed.
When Shelby walked into the kitchen, she found Hiram and Leroy puttering around and setting up the table. Shelby watched the two men for a moment and noticed how effortlessly they moved around each other. Hiram grabbed plates from the shelf as Leroy closed the cabinet door behind him. It was like a dance, one that only they were only able to perform after years of practice and learned behavior. Shelby felt her heart sink thinking about their broken marriage.
"Hi, Shelby," Leroy said noticing her first. "How'd it go up there?"
She walked into his open arms and accepted his hug.
"She says that she wants me to be her mom, but I think she's really confused," Shelby said, holding on to him a little longer than planned. Leroy responded with a comforting squeeze in acknowledgement.
"Yeah," he agreed as he pulled away. "We were just talking about that. We tried talking to her again last night, but she was still pretty stoic and insisted that she was fine. And that's unusual, because she's usually so.. theatrical?"
"I mean we talked a little and I think I can gauge some of what she's feeling," Shelby replied. "But I didn't press because I don't want to overwhelm her anymore than she already is."
"Well, I think that unless the other shoe drops, we just have to be patient and give Rachel some more time to process," Hiram added a voice of reason. "I know she'll come around."
Shelby nodded in understanding but felt her stomach tighten. She wasn't expecting a run into each other's arms in slow motion type of reunion and expect that everything would be perfect. Life didn't work that way. She knew there would be some hesitation on Rachel's end. She would be surprised if there wasn't. She also knew that there would be a steep learning curve for the both of them as they worked each other into their lives. But Shelby underestimated how lousy it felt to have your kid hurting and that you're partly to blame.
"Hey," Rachel said, interrupting Shelby's thoughts. The three parents whipped their heads towards the door and watched Rachel timidly approach them standing around the kitchen island.
"Good morning Rach," Leroy said pulling her into a quick side hug. "Are you hungry? I think we're about just about ready to eat."
"Yeah, I'm starving," she said as she examined the spread on the table. "I'm so excited, this all smells and looks delicious. Me and dad have just been eating cereal for breakfast all week."
Shelby and Leroy simultaneously shot Hiram a disapproving look. He gave them a sheepish smile and playfully nudged Rachel towards the breakfast nook.
"Alright, narc. Let's get some real food into your poor, famished body then," he joked. "Didn't hear you complaining about my cereal bar when you finished the last of the Fruit Loops yesterday."
Rachel laughed and it instantly lifted some of the tense mood. They all sat down and began to eat their meal together. Shelby was initially worried about the awkwardness of it all, but soon relaxed after casual and easy-going conversation naturally flowed between the four of them. They indulged in the food and enjoyed each other's company. It felt so comfortable and Shelby wondered if this is what it would've always been like if she had fought for custody of her daughter.
"This is delicious, Shelbs," Hiram said as he took a generous bite out of her blueberry muffin. "Like, I'm seriously impressed."
"He's only impressed because the last time we saw you bake anything we walked into so much black smoke filling the kitchen and the oven that we couldn't even see the cake you were baking. Eventually the smoke cleared up a little and we saw that the cake had overflowed from the pan and it was dripping black cake goo all over the coils."
"And don't forget the flames," Hiram added. "What happened again, Shelbs? Where did you go when you forgot about the cake you were baking?"
"I got distracted listening to my new Céline Dion album I got that morning," Shelby confessed, turning beet red as the table broke out into laughter. "But hey! If I recall, you two ate it all anyway. You said you liked its elusive smokey taste."
"Yeah but dad will eat anything, he's a bottomless pit," Rachel chimed in before taking a bite of her own blueberry muffin. "This is really good though, Shelby. Blueberries are my favorite. Especially blueberry pies. Daddy makes the best. You're going to make some for Thanksgiving, right?"
Shelby didn't miss the quick look the two dads shared or that Leroy instantly tensed up at the question.
"Well, darling. We wanted to actually talk to you about this later," Leroy said while straightening up in his seat. "But I actually don't think I'll be able to see you for Thanksgiving this year."
"What? What do you mean?" Rachel questioned. "We always have Thanksgiving together, where will you be?"
"In Chicago, with your Gram and Gramps," Leroy explained. "You know that they only have me and that they're not well enough to travel and you have such a short break, so we thought that you'd just stay here with your dad. You can see your uncles and cousins. Or maybe even spend it with Shelby?"
Leroy looked at Shelby for support but all she could do was nod. They hadn't discussed it yet and she didn't want to overstep. The mood of the room rapidly shifted and she sensed her daughter was on the verge of a meltdown. Shelby swallowed thickly waiting for Rachel's reaction.
"We can do whatever you want Rach," Hiram said trying to appease their daughter. "It's all up to you."
"No it's not," Rachel mumbled in exasperation.
"What was that, Rach?" Leroy asked as he reached out to grab her hand. The teenager instantly recoiled at his touch.
"I said, no it's not," Rachel said, her voice rising as she swiftly pushed her chair back and got up from the table. She turned to her parents with an irate expression. "How can you even say that when you guys keep making all of the decisions without asking me what I wanted? What if I wanted to go to Chicago with daddy? What if I wanted to see Gram and Gramps? What if I didn't want to do anything at all for Thanksgiving? Or better yet, what if I wanted to meet my mother anytime before oh, I don't know, today? Nobody asked me! And now you're all acting like I have choices when let me tell you, it doesn't really feel like I do. You're all getting divorced or signing contracts without caring about how I'd feel about it!"
"Rachel Barbra! That is enough," Hiram said in a dangerously low and serious voice. "I understand that you are upset, but there is no need for you to raise your voice or speak to us in that way."
"Rach, will you please just sit back down and we can all talk about this together? Leroy asked calmly, trying to diffuse the situation between his daughter and ex-husband. They were both so hot-headed and temperamental.
"No, father," Rachel said calmly. "Because like you guys have always taught me, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all!"
Rachel promptly turned on her heels, stormed out of the room, and stomped up the stairs in anger.
At least she believed in self-preservation enough to not slam her door, Shelby thought.
"Wow," Shelby said letting out a breath. "There goes that shoe drop."
"I wouldn't say drop, more like descending at a million miles per second," Hiram corrected as he rubbed his temples, trying to alleviate the headache he felt coming.
"Does she always do that? The storm outs?"
"Since she could walk," Leroy answered. "I mean don't get me wrong, Rachel's a good kid and we usually don't have any issues with her behavior. But she sometimes struggles with not getting her way. We've been trying to talk to her about better ways to express her displeasure than the dramatic exits."
"Which, by the way, get less dramatic every time she does it," Hiram pointed out.
"Are we doing the right thing?"
"Of course we are Shelby," Hiram said with no hesitation. "We're her parents. Rachel may feel like she doesn't have any choices, but everything we've done has always been for her and to protect her. And I'm not going to let our daughter gaslight us into thinking otherwise."
"She just needs more time," Leroy said echoing his ex-husband's earlier sentiments. "This reaction makes sense. We just have to help her through it."
"Do you mind if I go talk to her?" Shelby inquired. "If that's okay."
"Yeah, of course," Hiram replied. "You're her mom Shelby, you don't have to ask us for permission."
Leroy nodded in agreement. "Maybe we should take a breather anyway. Hiram and I can put things away here and you can go up and talk to Rach. Maybe go for a walk or something?"
"Good idea," Shelby said getting up from her seat. "Any words of wisdom?"
The two men looked at each other and laughed.
"You'll be fine mom," Leroy chuckled. "Just remember that you're the parent and you're the one in charge."
"Yeah and make sure you protect yourself from those big doe eyes," Hiram added.
Shelby rolled her eyes at their teasing and walked away to search for her sullen child. She got up to Rachel's room and took the open door as a good sign. Shelby knocked anyway trying to respect the teen's privacy.
"Rachel? Can I come in?"
Rachel walked out of her bathroom with a glass of water in hand. She was shocked to see Shelby standing at the door completely expecting one of her dads to come and lecture her for leaving. She averted her mom's gaze feeling embarrassed. She didn't want her mom to see that side of her so soon, but she couldn't help it. It was all too much and she didn't know how to cope.
"Sure," Rachel said nervously.
Shelby picked up on the girl's apprehension and gave her a soft smile. She watched Rachel take a short sip of water from her gold star cup before setting it down on her desk and Shelby's heart swelled realizing that Hiram and Leroy must've kept their promise. However that feeling quickly turned into concern deducing that the girl must be upset if she's drinking out of it.
"I'm sorry for storming out. And for yelling," Rachel blurted out. "I know it was disrespectful and I know it wasn't the right way to express how I'm feeling. I just got frustrated and didn't want things to escalate, so I left. I am sorry."
Shelby smirked at Rachel lecturing herself. At least she sounds remorseful.
"Thank you for apologizing," Shelby said gratefully. She was glad that Rachel realized what she did was wrong. It saved her from having to be stern with her daughter. Not that she would shy away from it if she had to, but they did just meet. "I think you owe your dads an apology as well."
Rachel nodded and walked around her mother to get to her closet. She grabbed a jacket off the hook and put it on.
"I will," she said while adjusting the zipper. "But if you'll excuse me, I have to go now."
"Where are you going?"
"I was thinking I'd go for a walk," Rachel said as she slipped into a pair of Mary Jane's. "You know, clear my head a little bit. The weather outside is lovely."
"Great idea," Shelby agreed. "I think I'll join you."
"No thanks, I'd rather go alone," Rachel said. It's not that she wanted to push her mom away, she just still felt overwhelmed with so many conflicting emotions, she just needed a second to process them on her own.
Shelby gently grabbed her daughter's arm as soon she started to walk away.
"It wasn't really up for debate, Rach. I'm coming with," Shelby said sternly. "I think we should talk."
Rachel's shoulders slumped and she let out a frustrated sigh.
"Fine. If you insist," she acquiesced. She started to walk away again but Shelby turned her around and pulled her into a hug. She felt a little better instantaneously.
"I insist," Shelby said kissing the top of her head. "Now please go downstairs and tell your dads we're going on a walk. I will meet you down there."
"Okay."
"And please don't forget to apologize."
"Okay, okay," Rachel groaned. "You know, for someone who just became a mom, you're already scary good at bossing your kid around."
"What can I say, I'm a quick learner," Shelby teased as Rachel walked out of the room.
Ten minutes later, Rachel and Shelby were walking down the street in comfortable silence. Rachel was right. It was a beautiful day. Although it was the beginning of November and the weather had consistently started to fall, it was an unusually warm and sunny day, and it seemed as though everyone was out to enjoy the last bit of agreeable weather before winter came in full force.
They walked for a little while longer until Shelby started noticing Rachel stealing glances of her from her periphery.
"What's up, Rach?"
"Oh—uh, nothing. I was just wondering, you said you wanted to talk?"
"Yes, I did." Shelby answered. She wasn't trying to be short or cryptic, she just hasn't decided how she wanted to play this yet. She knew that Rachel was probably dealing with emotional overload, so she had to tread carefully.
"I already said that I'm sorry," Rachel said dropping her head. Her stomach was churning not knowing where her mom was going with this conversation. Did she change her mind already? Did she not want to be her mom anymore after seeing her blow-up earlier?
"I know baby," Shelby said looking over at her repentant child. She took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "And it's okay, you're forgiven. It's just that—and I really need you to listen to me here Rach—me and your dads, we understand that you're going through a lot. We know that this is a lot for you to handle. It would be for anyone. And we don't expect you to accept everything right away or be okay with everything. It's okay to feel frustrated or upset. But you need to talk to us, Rachel. We can't read your mind. We don't want you to feel like you're being backed into a corner with no choices—and we will talk about that another time. But we just want to help Rach, and we can't do that if you don't tell us how to. You don't have to shoulder all of this alone. You understand?"
And Rachel did understand. But of course it was easier said than done. At the same time though she knew that it wouldn't be fair to shut her parents out and that it wouldn't resolve anything, so she also knew she had to try.
"Yes, I understand," Rachel said truthfully.
"Great, so no more bottling it in and insisting that you're fine and that everything is fine? You'll really talk to us if there's anything on your mind? Because all we want is for us to be honest with each other, Rach."
"Yes," Rachel repeated. "I'll try."
"Thank you," Shelby said sincerely while she linked her arms with her daughter and pulled her close as they continued their walk. "I appreciate that. That's all we ask. We just want to help you work through all of this in the best way that we can, so if there's anything you need, just let us know."
Rachel nodded and felt some of her anxiety dissipate. She felt better knowing that she didn't have to be perfect for her parents, especially for her mom. She also felt relieved knowing that they were okay with her taking her time to process everything.
"Shelby?"
"Hmm?"
"I actually kind of do need something," she said hopefully.
"Anything, Rachel."
"Can we please get ice cream?" Rachel said smiling as she pointed to the ice cream shop down the block. Shelby laughed and nodded her head.
"Of course, I can always go for some strawberry ice cream."
"Hey! Me too! That's my favorite flavor," Rachel said in awe.
Shelby looked over at her kid and wondered if putting a smile on her face would always feel this incredible.
"Then let's go get us some ice cream then, baby. Sorry.. I forgot to ask if that's okay? That I call you baby?" Shelby asked curiously.
"Yeah," Rachel said without thinking about it and gave her mom another encouraging smile. "I kinda like it. A lot of my friends' moms call them 'baby' and you're my mom right? So yeah, it's okay."
Shelby's heart soared at the acknowledgement and she placed another kiss to the top of her daughter's head. She couldn't argue with that logic.
A/N: Thanks for reading and for all the reviews! I really enjoy hearing what you guys think and always consider your suggestions.
The next chapter is a lot more of Rachel and Shelby learning how to navigate their new relationship and some Rachel shenanigans with the Glee kids.