Socrates started up the stairs that lead to the attic.
Spider webs hung in the corners, and it was very dark and spooky in the three yard corridor to the attic.
Socrates went up those spooky stairs without the slightest sense of fear.
He walked up to an old wooden door with a silver doorknob.
Socrates opened it, and entered the attic.
The attic was filled with boxes. Most of them filled with family photos, and old stuff from Dad's childhood.
There was a single crate sitting in the middle of the room.
Socrates walked up to it.
There was a microphone laying on it.
He picked it up and studied it.
The words Mega-Shrinker 5000 were written on it in black ink.
Socrates pulled on the cord, and brought the jack up.
He stared at it.
He hooked the jack into a radio's headphone jack, and pushed a button on the microphone.
ZIP!
The neck of the microphone shot outward, and the end started glowing red.
Socrates grinned.
He pointed the shrinker at a box of photos.
He hit the button.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
There was a flash of red light, and a loud sound, and the photos vanished.
Socrates' eyes widened with glee.
He pushed the button, again.
zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
The box instantly reappeared in another blast of light.
"This is cool." Socrates grinned.
He pointed the microphone at the crate, and hit the button, again.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
The crate vanished.
Socrates hit the button again.
zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
It reappeared.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
After about five minutes of this, Socrates began to get bored.
I mean, all he had up there were boxes.
Socrates walked over to the window, and opened it.
He pointed the shrink ray at a passing man.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUGH!" The man screamed, as he vanished in a blast of red light.
Socrates flipped the switch, and pushed the button, again.
zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
The man grew back to his original size.
He looked around, terror stricken at what just happened, then rushed off.
Socrates pointed it at a car.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
The car vanished, and so did the male driver.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The man screamed, before vanishing.
Socrates flipped the switch, and pushed the button, again.
zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
The car reappeared, and so did the driver.
Socrates was laughing.
"HA HA HA HA!" he screamed, holding his face. "THIS IS BETTER THAN PRANKING CALVIN!"
Socrates spent the next few minutes shrinking and unshrinking everything in sight.
All the time, he was laughing his head off, and trying not to fall out of the window.
Then, he remembered why he had come to get it in the first place.
He rubbed his chin in thought.
"Hmmm, I wonder if Calvin could handle himself for the next two days." He wondered.
He thought for fifteen seconds.
"Ah, maybe if I save him, he'll let me borrow this thing." he decided.
He wrapped the wire up, tucked the shrinker into his pocket, went down the stairs, and started looking for Calvin and Hobbes, again.
Oh, and he was whistling, cheerily, on his way down the stairs.
Who whistles cheerily on their way down creepy haunted looking stairs?
I have no idea.
Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were still running away from Rupert and Earl.
They were running out of energy.
I already said that.
However, it doesn't hurt to repeat yourself repeat yourself every once in a while in a while.
Where was I?
Oh yes, Calvin and Hobbes zoomed away.
Rupert and Earl were laughing insanely.
"You might as well stop running!" Rupert laughed. "We obviously have the advantage!"
Calvin and Hobbes were inches away from their door.
Rupert and Earl didn't seem fazed or worried about that at all.
Maybe they didn't notice.
But Calvin and Hobbes reached the door.
They leaped inside it, and started pushing the door shut.
Slowly, the door started to close.
Then, it slammed shut.
SLAM!
Rupert and Earl screeched to s stop in front of the door.
"How did he do that?" Earl asked.
Rupert growled, and turned to his crew.
"COME ON!" He screamed. "WE CAN STILL CATCH THEM!"
"We're chasing someone?" Erne asked.
"Shut up, and let's go!"
Rupert and Earl zoomed off, the crew shrugged, and followed.
Calvin and Hobbes stood in front of the door.
"Great." Hobbes said. "Now we're trapped in your room."
"Maybe we can still get to the attic." Calvin said.
Hobbes turned around.
"If we can get over your mess." He growled.
Calvin spun around.
Uh oh.
It appeared that Calvin's room was covered in a thick layer of toys, papers, comic books, and boxes.
"How did my room get so messy!" Calvin yelled. "I cleaned it yesterday!"
"You did not clean it." Hobbes hissed. "You shrunk it with your skull and cross bones invention!"
"OK, maybe I shrunk a thing or two, but the point is, is that my room got covered in toys again! How did that, happen? The room was clean when we got up this morning."
Before Calvin and Hobbes could debate it any further, the black widow spider emerged from under a piece of paper.
Its horrible compound eyes locked on Calvin.
Calvin and Hobbes stared at it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" They screamed, running away from it.
"SCREEECH!" The spider roared, flying after Calvin and Hobbes with a hungry look in its eyes.
Or at least, I think it had a hungry look in its eyes.
Uh...
Maybe it didn't.
It's kinda hard to tell when you're dealing with a spider.
Calvin and Hobbes dove under a Captain Napalm comic.
Then spider went past it, without noticing them.
"Now what do we do?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin's eyes were darting from side to side.
Then, he got real quiet.
"The amazing STUPENDOUS MAN considers the problem at hand. His stupendous powers were shorted out by Dr Big Eye's compacter ray! Our hero is in mortal danger."
"Calvin, you have got to be kidding me!" Hobbes yelled.
Calvin didn't answer.
He was too deep in thought.
"Our hero devises a STUPENDOUS PLAN!" He announced. "I'll hold him, and you punch."
"I'm going to stupendous you in a minute!" Hobbes growled.
Calvin ignored him.
"Calvin, answer me!" Hobbes yelled. "WHAT DO WE DO, NOW!"
At last, Calvin answered.
"No, that doesn't come on until next Friday."
Yes, Calvin had given him the answer.
But the answer to what?
Hobbes grabbed Calvin, spun him around so he was facing him, and began slapping him left and right.
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
At last, Calvin came around.
"Hobbes, why are you slapping me?" He demanded. "I was in the middle of deep philosophical thought, and you butted in with your stupid paw."
"Philosophical? PHILOSOPHICAL! You were about to run out there, and try to beat up the spider on your own, you dunce!"
"That was only a quick thought, hairball, My amazing mind was shifting through several different possibilities."
"Mind? What mind? I thought you lost it after you made the Transmogrifier incident!"
Calvin was outraged.
"I've been insulted!" He screamed. "I'll have you know that I have a brilliant mind with more meaning in it than you do in your whole body!"
Hobbes peeked out of the comic book.
"Would you mind shutting up?" He asked. "The spider might hear you."
"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO DARN SMART!"
"Do spiders have ears? I don't know if they do."
"NOW YOU'RE JUST IGNORING ME! I DEMAND THAT YOU LISTEN TO MY CARPING!"
"Uh oh... he just turned around."
"THAT'S NO EXCUSE, AND DON'T ARGUE WITH ME! THE POINT IS... I forgot the point. BUT WHATEVER IT WAS IT WAS A DARN GOOD POINT AND IT WOULD'VE BEEN THE POINT TO TOP ALL POINTS!"
"He's coming this way."
"YES, HOBBES! HE'S COMING! THE LONG ARM OF IGNORANCE IS COMING! AND HAS YOU LOCKED IN A DEADLY GRASP OF DEATH!"
"He's about to lock us in a deadly grasp of death." Hobbes said. "I'm leaving. Bye."
ZOOM!
Calvin saw a streak of orange, and heard a loud gust of wind, and Hobbes suddenly vanished.
Calvin blinked.
"I DEMAND THAT YOU GET BACK OVER HERE, AND TELL ME HOW YOU DO THAT, YOU DUMB TIGER! I OUGHT TO SUE THE TRUTH OUT OF YOU! GET BACK OVER HERE, OR I'LL..."
"SCREEEEEEEEEEECH!"
Calvin's speech was cut short when the gigantic black widow appeared out of nowhere, and opened it's deadly poison pinchers.
Calvin stared at it.
"Oh." He said. "That's what you were running from. I guess that fits. I'd run too. In fact, I will."
But before Calvin could race off, the spider drew its head back, and sent a pincher full of green poison hurling for him.