"Honey, I'm home!" Dad called walking into the house.

His eyes fell onto the dent on the wall, and the broken window.

Mom came stomping into the livingroom.

"DEAR!" She screeched. "YOUR SON IS IN THIS HOUSE SOMEWHERE, DESTROYING IT, AND I CAN'T FIND HIM!"

"Oh no." Dad sighed, expecting a quiet evening.

Hobbes was moaning and groaning as he attempted to get Calvin out of the mess.

"How many bricks do you have in your pocket!" He yelled.

"Ha, ha! I forgot how to laugh."

"I think my upper vertebrae just snapped."

"Quit being such a weenie, and PUSH!"

At last, Hobbes heaved Calvin onto a toy truck.

Then Hobbes pulled himself up.

"OK, now what?" he asked, getting crick out of his back.

"Well, we still have to get to the attic." Calvin said, brushing himself off.

"Yeah." Hobbes said. "Except we're both trapped in your room. How are we going to get to the attic?"

Calvin mind raced.

"Tracer Bullet. Private Eye." He thought to himself. "Everything about The Case of the Deadly Shrink Ray was strange. The beginning was strange. The ending was strange. And the middle was... well, strange. I needed a lead in the case. But first I needed to get out of the giant playroom at my puny size."

Calvin's eyes cut from side to side.

"I have an idea, kid." he said to Hobbes.

"Kid?"

"We have to make our way to the door. But we have to avoid the Red Hourglass goon."

"You mean the Black Widow Spider?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin glared at Hobbes.

"Who told you the name of the gang he belonged to?" He demanded. "Out with it! This might be my first break in the case."

Hobbes stared at him.

"Calvin." He said. "Stop being weird and try to think. I know that goes against your nature, but we need something."

Calvin ignored him.

"We must think up of a plan." he said, rubbing his chin. "But what?"

"The spider's coming back."

"Precisely!" Calvin announced. "The spider of life is rearing its ugly head! We must face this block in our life, and squash him!"

"It's not a block. It's a spider."

"Don't argue with me!" Calvin spat. "If I said it was a block, then by golly, it's a block!"

"Yeah, well, that block's about to tear us apart."

"HALT STOP!" Calvin yelled. "I've already spotted a flaw in your ointment."

"I don't have any ointment."

"Alright. Then the fly in your ointment."

"I don't have a fly. And if I did, I'd buzz off right now."

"That's cute, Hobbes, but I'm afraid it won't get you out of this interrogation! Point one. Blocks are not alive. Therefore, they can not tear people apart."

"CALVIN!" Hobbes hissed.

"Shut up. I'm not finished. Point two. Even if they were alive, they have no arms, legs, teeth, or claws. Therefore, following simple logic, they can not tear us apart."

"CALVIN!" Hobbes yelled.

"Shut up. Point three. You have no evidence that even if blocks could tear you apart, that they would want to. They would have to be psychotic. Evidence, Hobbes! You need evidence! You have no evidence! Point four. There is no such thing as a psychotic block. So this whole argument is totally pointless."

Hobbes took a deep breath in, and screeched, "CALVIN! IT IS NOT A BLOCK! IT'S A BLACK WIDOW SPIDER! AND IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!"

Calvin shrunk back.

"DON'T SCREECH AT ME, YOU DUNCE!"

Hobbes grabbed Calvin's head, and spun him completely around.

Once completely turned around, Calvin spotted a huge black spider screaming towards him.

"Oh." Calvin said. "It was a spider."

There was a moment of silence.

Then, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHH!"

Calvin and Hobbes zoomed off, the spider right behind them.

Meanwhile, Rupert, Earl, and the crew all flew up to Calvin's bedroom window.

It was closed.

However, that didn't seem to faze or bother Rupert and Earl at all.

Rupert and Earl backed up, slightly, and screamed forward, and crashed into the window.

CRASH!

There was an explosion of glass, and Rupert and Earl entered the room.

Calvin and Hobbes screeched to a stop as huge shards of glass started falling right above them.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Calvin and Hobbes screamed, sucking under Calvin's toy truck.

The spider screeched to a stop, and rushed off in the other direction, avoiding each crash of glass.

Calvin and Hobbes ducked deeper into the truck, as they watched glass fragments shatter to the floor.

CRASH! SMASH! SHATTER! TINKLE! BOOM!

Earl's crew followed into the room, soon after Rupert and Earl burst in.

"Where is he!" Rupert screamed, scanning the mess in the room. "YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER POTENTATE!"

Rupert ripped out his ray gun, and started blasting everything in sight.

Earl followed suit.

The crew stared at their two leaders with confused grins on their faces.

Suddenly, Socrates heard small ray gun blasts from inside Calvin's room.

"Wow." He said. "I can't believe I never thought to look in Calvin's room. What a dope."

Socrates grabbed the Shrink Ray with his left hand, and grabbed Calvin's doorknob with the other.

He kicked the door opened, and spotted small grey specks firing blasts of red at the floor.

"BACK!" Socrates screamed.

He rushed over to the floating aliens.

Rupert redirected his aim from the floor to Socrates.

ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

Socrates' fur absorbed the blasts, and didn't do any damage to him.

"HA!" Socrates laughed. "What are you trying to do? Tickle me?"

Socrates took a deep breath in, and blew as hard as he could at Rupert and Earl.

As if a huge gust of wind had started up, Rupert and Earl went screaming backwards into the middle of the crew.

And believe it, or not, Earl's crew actually was able to maintain control this time. I know, hard to believe. But it's true.

After he had left the aliens in jumbles, Socrates plugged the Shrink Ray into a radio, and the neck extended itself outward.

"CALVIN!" He called. "HOBBES! I HAVE THE SHRINK RAY!"

"Well, the world's doomed." Calvin said.

"Hurry, we have to show ourselves." Hobbes said.

Calvin and Hobbes frantically started climbing out from under the truck.

"SOCRATES! WE'RE DOWN HERE!" Calvin called.

However, Socrates didn't hear Calvin and Hobbes calling for him because he was so busy calling for them.

How ironic.

Meanwhile, Rupert and Earl had regained themselves, and had spotted Calvin and Hobbes calling to Socrates.

A wide grin spread across Rupert's face.

"At last!" he growled.

Calvin and Hobbes were waving their hands, and screaming for Socrates to look down.

Suddenly, and all of a sudden, there was a loud ZAP, and a blast of red light hit the spot inches from Calvin.

Calvin looked up, and saw Rupert, Earl, and the entire crew flying downwards towards him with wide evil grins on their faces.

"Whoops." Calvin said.

Calvin and Hobbes spun around, and stared right into the hateful eyes of...

The Black Widow Spider opened its poison dripping pinchers up, and let out a terrifying screech.

Followed by the crew, Rupert and Earl landed on the other side of Calvin and Hobbes, their sharp teeth gleaming in the bright light.

And Calvin didn't like how they decorated their smiles.

Calvin and Hobbes backed up towards Rupert and Earl. Then backed up towards the spider.

Rupert and Earl began walking casually towards Calvin.

Calvin and Hobbes started looking around, desperately.

Rupert grinned.

"Once in a while, there is a time when you run out of places to run, Earth Potentate." He growled.

Calvin and Hobbes' eyes were the size of dinner plates as Rupert and Earl and the spider began to close in.

Suddenly, Socrates spotted Rupert.

"AH HA!" He screamed, staring down at Calvin's distinctive red shirt and yellow head.

He held up the Mega-Shrinker 5000, flipped a switch, and hit the button.

zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Instantly, Rupert and Earl came in full view, as they grew back to their normal sizes.

"Whoops." Socrates said. "Aim's a little off."

While Rupert and Earl were still trying to figure out what had happened, Socrates flipped the switch, and pushed the button, again.

ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Rupert and Earl were shrunk again.

Socrates flipped the switch, and took aim at Calvin, again.

zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

The Black Widow Spider suddenly expanded upward, and began to grow fifty times its original size!

"Darn."

Flip.

Click.

ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Flip.

Click.

zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

This time Earl's crew increased to their normal size.

"Calvin really has to work on this sideways blasting." Socrates muttered.

Flip.

Click.

ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

"SOCRATES!" Calvin screamed. "COULD YOU PERHAPS HIT WHAT YOUR AIMING AT!"

Rupert fired his ray gun.

ZAP!

Calvin and Hobbes leaped out of the way, the blast hit the spider.

"SCREECH!"

The spider went flying backwards and into the wall.

It leaped to its feet, and turned a terrible glare on Rupert.

"SCREEEEEEECH!"

"I think you made him mad." Alfred the alien said.

Earl glared at Alfred.

"Ya think!" he spat.

The spider made a dive for Rupert.

Rupert, Earl, and the crew all screamed, and jumped out of the way.

The spider rammed head first into a toy truck.

CRASH!

NOW he was mad.

The spider leaped to its feet, and fixed its eyes on Rupert and Earl.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!" It shrieked, throwing its head back.

Calvin and Hobbes stood awkwardly on one of Calvin's comic books watching the chaos.

Rupert spotted him.

"THAT'S IT!" He screamed.

"Oops." Calvin said.

Before the spider reached him, Rupert flew upward into the air, and rocketed towards Calvin, his arms outstretched, and his fingers in the strangling position.

Uh oh.

It looked like he wasn't playing games anymore.