An Endless Life

by Windyrose94

Naruto is an immortal who is cursed to live until the end of time. During that time he learns the best way to deal with losing someone is to keep living. He becomes a father to many different children and teaches them how to control their powers along his path to find his end.

4. Naruto, I'm sorry (4)

#Naruto #MHA #MyHeroAcadeamia #FairyTail #ANBU!Naruto #Hurt!Naruto #Immortal!Naruto #Asexual!Naruto #Traumatized!Naruto #Brotherly!Naruto #Badass!Naruto #Sensei!Naruto #Agender!Naruto #Scary!Naruto #Fatherly!Naruto #Trans!Izuku #Abused!Izuku #BadParentInko #AllMightBashing #Dadzowa #BakugoBashing #1Afamily #Smart!Natsu #Badass!Natsu #DragonSlayerFamily #ShikaNaru #ShikamaruxNaruto

Warning

Death, Blood, Gore, Torture, PTSD, Tabaco, Metions of rape, Mentions of torture, Abandoment. Language

This is the chapter where Naruto's past is revealed. Proceed with caution I'm going to traumatize the hell out of the poor man. Most of the warnings are going into effect. Chapter 4

Naruto felt warm and protected. He also felt exhausted. Slowly his conscience faded once again as a warm hand grabbed his own. The second time his surroundings came to him he was able to open his eyes and was met with the sight of green. More than a little confused he slowly sat up to get a good look at his surroundings. He was in a tent. His tent. How did he get into his tent? He tried to think back to what had happened earlier in the day. He had taken the kids into a town to get new clothes and a weapon of their choosing. They had hit the clothes store first so the kids wouldn't look like they just crawled out of a bear fight. In the store he had tried to keep an eye on his kids as he talked to the storekeeper. He had felt like something bad was going to happen and then the storekeeper had grabbed his arm. He had tried to shake him off and he had tightened his grip. That was all he could remember. What had happened between then and now.

Looking down at himself he couldn't see any injuries, but his clothes were gone as well leaving him in his underwear. He slowly got out of the sleeping bag and popped his back from the protests it gave when he moved. How long had he been asleep? He had slept on the ground or in trees enough that his body could take it for the little sleep he got every once and a while. After stretching out the rest of his aching body he slowly got dressed and headed for the flap in the tent. Once he opened the tent the bright light of the sun made him crush his eyes together to ward off the pain the sunlight caused his eyes. He could hear the forest around him and smell deer cooking the way he had taught his kids.

There was a pause before five different cries of "Nii-san" hit his senses and he was falling again. He hit the ground with a crash and got the wind knocked out of him and he opened his eyes to see the sight he was half expecting. Natsu, Gajeel, and Sting had been the ones to tackle him while Rogue and Wendy stood off to the side. The part he wasn't expecting was the tears in each of their eyes and the sad smiles on his kids faces. His joy at seeing them quickly turned into panic and worry as he looked over all of them for injury.

"Are you guys okay?" Was the simple question asked and it was followed by a wet laugh from Rogue and an answer.

"Of course you would be worried about us when you were in a coma for almost a week." That answer only confused him more. What had happened. Who had attacked him? How did they attack him? Were his kids okay?

"What happened? Are you guys okay?" He repeated as he looked more closely at his kids to try and detect any sort of injury any of them may have sustained from his attacker.

"We are fine, Nii-san. We are just happy you are finally awake." Wendy answered as she gave him a small smile that was shadowed by worry.

"What happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened." Gajeel answered with a little bit of steel in his voice, "You scared the crap out of us was what happened! After the shopkeeper grabbed you, you went into some sort of shock and then you suddenly started thrashing and crying for your ghost attackers to let you go. It scared us so bad. We raced out of town and back here where we set up camp for you to wake up. We thought you would wake up in the morning, but no. You had to make us worry that you might die and wake up almost a week later!" By the end Gajeel had started to cry again and had started to yell.

"Gajeel, don't yell at him." Sting said, "It's not his fault that it happened. If you want to yell at someone go yell at the shopkeeper."

"Only if I get to come with you." Natsu said as a fire lit up in his eyes.

"No one is going to terrorize a shopkeeper." Naruto ordered as he started to sit up from his sprawled out position. "And I'm sorry. I didn't know that shopkeepers still affected me that badly. Let me get up and we can all head back into town and get clothes and those weapons I promised you." Naruto tried to stand but the three on his chest didn't budge and he didn't want to hurt them by forcing them off so he gave up. "We can't go if I can't move."

"We aren't going into town." Gajeel responded, "We aren't going anywhere until you tell us what caused you to have that reaction to a shopkeeper grabbing your arm and I don't want to hear any excuses. It's obvious whatever it was has affected you very badly and you always tell us to let our emotions out is the first step to healing." Naruto looked around to his other kids and saw that they all agreed with Gajeel and that he wasn't going anywhere. He sighed as he realized that he was going to have to have a conversation with his kids that he had never wanted to have. This was worse than the "your body is changing" one.

"Fine, but I need to sit up." With that Natsu, Gajeel, and Sting all got off of him and helped him up so he could go and lean against the stumps they had put around the fire pit. Naruto had slept so long that the kids had made the clearing they were in into a more permanent home. There was a pile of firewood about a yard from the pit. All of the tents were in a half circle with his tent in the middle of the arc. The fire pit was straight out from his tent and there was a half built shed for the food that was being built next to Wendy's tent.

Once Naruto had finished his evaluation of the clearing he looked at all his kids and seeing that they were ready for him to begin he took a deep breath. "Before I start I want to ask you all to remain silent." He looked all of his kids in the eye to show he was serious. "Once I start I don't think I'll be able to restart if I stop. My past isn't something I like to remember, well most of it anyway." Each kid nodded and spoke a silent agreement before with one last deep breath Naruto started his tale. "The easiest way to explain my fear of shopkeepers is to explain my past." And with that Naruto started his tale.

===============================Start of Warnings============================

"I always knew I wasn't normal. While other kids would be called cute and silly; I would be called monster and demon. While others would have a warm home to return to with loving parents; I had a cold room in the orphanage. While the other kids were fed and cleaned; I was left to scavenge for my food and rot. About once a month the administration would throw me out on the streets and I would have to fend for my own food for a day or two until they let me back inside. During that time, any time I tried to buy an item from a store I would be thrown out and beaten so badly that I wasn't sure how I survived. This happened every time so I learned to avoid stores and fear them, something I seem to have carried on through my many lives. There were some days where the pattern broke, but that was only when the Old Man was visiting. He was the leader of the village and when I was little I never understood why such a man would care about my well being enough to visit me every had no hair and always wore his Hokage garbs. He smoked a pipe and always smelled of smoke. He told me he visited every orphan every month, but I never believed him. The few kids that would bully me would tease me about the Hokage having to check in on the demon of the village and how he was just making sure that the adults were keeping me weak, but I didn't care. The days he visited were the only days where I got to take a bath, even though it was freezing and the only days I got to eat a full meal with the other kids, even though it was cold.

The other day when the pattern broke was on October 10th. The day my village celebrated its victory and survival from a demon called the Nine Tailed Fox and mourned the loss of its greatest Hokage; Minato Namikaze, the fourth Hokage. That day was the one I feared most of my life. Every single time it was the same thing. The administration would come into my room just past midnight and "beat the demon out of me"; that's what they called it anyway. They told me they were doing me a service and were only trying to save their village. After beating me for a good long while they would stop to go and clean up before waking the other children at six.

I would take the little time I had and try to hide myself and heal before the kids were let loose on me. Then, every time like clock work, they would let one kid in at a time, or a group if everyone agreed to 'share' me, to do anything they wanted. Some kids just bullied me with words while hitting me every once and a while. Some full on beat me and others took it further. Most of the older boys would join in a group and use me every way possible they could think of to get pleaser. Every boy had a different way of going about it, but I always ended the same. With me in pain and feeling violated; while they felt refreshed and proud. I wasn't human to any of them. Most of them would tell me that their seed was the only thing I would have to eat that day, so I should enjoy it. For hours this happened. I was beat, raped, whipped, bruised, tied down, cut, and broken. After all of the kids had their fun the administration would come in and drag me out to the door and throw me outside.

Usually by this time it was around noon so the streets were busy and everyone would see me run by. Because of the state of undress some older men would use me as well while the others turned a blind eye. Rocks would be thrown and cusses would be cursed, but it was nothing compared to what would happen once the sun went down. Once the festival started people would band up and play a 'game' of Fox Hunt." Here Naruto paused and absently rubbed his whisker-like birth marks as he stared into the fire with dead eyes. "I always did my best to lose them and keep them off of me, but I never worked. They always caught me and then the kives, whips, broken bottles, and anything else that could be used to hurt me would come out. At first I would be a smaller group of the bigger group that would find me and they would have their 'fun' with me. They would break my fingers one by one while telling me I deserved it. Then they would break my toes while calling me a demon. They would move on to break my arms in as many spots as they could while telling me it was for the better of the village. Afterwards it was on to the legs and then the ribs. Only after they had broken every bone in my body at least once did they drag me closer to the main part of the festival. They would hang me up by kuni through my palms and feet and take their time cutting into my flesh. Only long painful cuts would do and they would go so slowly. So very slowly. After they were done with that, the few shinobi that had joined them would practice their jutsu on me. I was stabbed with earth shards, drowned in waves of water, electrocuted by bolts of lightning, sliced even more with blades of air, and roasted with fire. Once I was burned from the top of my head down to the bottom of my feet they would cut my stomach open and let my guts fall to the ground as they watched with joy in their eyes.

My vision would always fade to black as they walked away laughing and congratulating each other on a job well done. They would wonder what kind of prize they would get for ridding the village of the demon. I would use my last remaining minutes in consciousness to question everything I knew and believed. Was the Old Man really just making sure I was suffering? Was everyone in the village right? Did I deserve to live? Then I would black out. Usually I would wake up in a puddle of dried blood the next morning with the trauma to my body healed, but the fifth year it happened I woke up in a bed with clean clothes and no blood on my body. I didn't know where I was so I curled up and tried to go back to sleep. At that point I didn't care if it was some trick to build me up and break me down again; I just wanted sleep.

When I awoke again there was a man wrapped in bandages from head to toe sitting by my bedside. All I could see was his black hair, half of his old face, and one eye. His eye held no warmth, but it didn't hold malice either, so I relaxed just slightly as I slowly sat up. I asked who he was and he answered that his name was of no importance, but he had an offer for me. "You must be so tired of feeling." His sentence ended there. I just nodded along. I was tired of feeling. All I ever felt was pain. I just nodded to let him know I was listening and that I agreed. "How would you like me to train you to be able to stop feeling and get stronger. Strong enough to defend the village and prove to all of those dumb villagers that they were wrong about Naruto Uzumaki." His eyes held power and an assurance that I had never seen in someone before so I agreed and it was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me."

Naruto paused for a second and looked up to see that all of his kids looked a little sick and horrified, but he still had their full attention. It was almost enough to make him choke up. He hadn't been able to tell his story to someone since Shika had listened to him. After looking at the love and pain in their eyes for a little longer he continued his story.

"He did train me to stop feeling, but not the way I thought he would. He had his other servants train me in both mind and body. They trained me all day and all night. Only letting me rest for three hours a week. As my body got used to the treatment they increased it to three hours every other week. Then every third week and soon enough I was sleeping three hours every three months. That only worked because I had the Kyuubi, or Nine Tailed Fox, sealed inside me the day I was born. The man had told me after a year of my training. By that time I was no longer feeling. Emotions, physical and mental pain, it was all gone. I couldn't feel anything anymore and for a short period of time that felt good and then I felt nothing. I became what he called the perfect tool. I would call it a husk. That's why I would rather feel pain than nothing at all. Not being able to feel is not being able to think. Not being able to think makes you a puppet. Being a puppet makes you do inhuman things. I killed an innocent family because I was ordered to. I had no hesitation. No sense of wrong. All I knew is the man who stopped my pain told me to do it; so I did. I massacred a group of foreign shinobi that were trying to complete a simple package delivery. Their client lived on the very edge of our border. So close in fact that we couldn't tell if he was on our land or theirs. So I was ordered to kill them. So I did.. I killed the client right in front of them before killing their sensei and finally them.

I did 'missions', homicides, like this again and again for the next three years before the Old Man found out. He immediately demanded that Danzo, the one who made me do all of that, shut down his Root project and release me. Most of the Root were too far gone to be anything but puppets and they were killed, but the Hokage couldn't bring himself to kill me. To this day I don't know if it was because I was so young or if it was because he felt responsible for how I had turned out. He put me into ANBU after deciding that I wouldn't be able to live among 'normal' people without someone losing their life to my blade. ANBU was a shock to me. Everyone knew of my past, but none of them judged me for it. They accepted what happened to me, didn't push it, and left me alone. Everyone but Dog. He always wanted to talk about something random. It threw me for a loop because everything I had heard about him told me he was anti-social and enjoyed his space.

Dog and I were teamed up for a lot of missions and soon enough we had a weird bond. He would try to make me feel any sort of emotion and in return I would ignore him and insult him. He told me right before he left ANBU that he wanted to thank me for knocking him down a few pegs. Everyone always let him boss them around because he was 'better' but no one had ever told him he could try harder and improve. I hadn't said anything in return and that was when he vowed to break my silence and make me feel something again.

The same day that Dog retired I was called into the Hokage's office for a top secret SS ranked mission. I thought it was going to be to assassinate some other important person in a rival country, but it was almost the opposite. I needed to graduate with this year's genin and I would be placed on a team with Sasuke Uchina. He was the last loyal person of his clan that was massacred in one night by his older brother Itachi Uchina. The Hokage feared that Sasuke wasn't as loyal as he appeared to be and that as soon as he found a way out he would take it. I was also tasked with watching the rest of the graduating class since most of them were clan heirs. With me being my robot self I agreed and got ready for my mission. The last order I was given was that I was not to tell a soul or give them any reason to believe I was an ANBU.

The day I met my to-be-teammates was a disaster. Sasuke was a stuck up bastard who wouldn't even look at me because I was able to graduate without having even entered the academy. Sakura Harano was the other one. She was a fan girl through and through. She would hang off of Sasuke like she was a monkey and had a screech that could take out glass from a mile away. The other people in my graduating class were Kiba Inuzuka, he was a stubborn overconfident brat, Hinata Hyuga, she was a shy socially acquired girl, Shino Aburame, he was another socially acquired person, but he seemed to like it that way. They made up team eight. Ino Yamanaka was another fangirl but she has a little skill, Choji Akimichi was a nice guy who would rather cook or eat than hurt another person, finally was Shikamaru Nara. Shikamaru was incredibly smart and extremely lazy. He had a head of hair that stood up like a pineapple and would rather watch clouds than train. These three made up team ten. My team was team seven.

The first while with my team was horrible. Sakura wouldn't stop hanging off of Sasuke long enough to get anything done, Sasuke wouldn't stop trying to glare a hole into the back of my head, and I didn't care enough to do anything about either. The first couple of months went this way and slowly I was becoming more human. In subtle ways I would realize that I was feeling again. The way Sakura hung off of Sasuke annoyed me. Sasuke trying to glare me into hell annoyed me. The way our sensei, Kakashi, wouldn't even try to train us in anything other than team world was starting to annoy me. For a while I didn't even notice that I was feeling something until I snapped at Sakura to get off of Sasuke so we could train, Sasuke to focus on what we were doing, and Kakashi to actually do something or I would train them on my own because I would like to live as soon as we stepped out of the village. I couldn't tell who was more surprised I snapped; me or them. It did the trick. Sasuke stopped glaring at me ,Sakura started to train herself, and Kakshi started to train us.

That day after training I went to watch the small waves crash into the shore in the little lake that the village had hidden away. After a couple of hours of just sitting there contemplating my life and fears I sensed someone else making their way towards my position. They must have seen me because they suddenly stopped about ten feet away from me.

"I can sense you, so you might as well come out." I spoke to the person and I got a "troublesome blond" in return. Shikimaru came up from behind me and layed next to me on the small beach the lake had and stared up at the stars that had risen at some point.

I thought we were going to sit in silence and just enjoy the night when Shikamaru started talking, "When you look at the stars you are looking into the past." I was taken aback at his sudden words so I looked at him. He turned to look at me and asked, "What are you thinking about?"

I was still shocked from his random face so I answered honestly, "I'm feeling emotions again and I don't want to." It was my turn to shock him but he kept a straight face pretty well.

He sat up a little straighter to give me his full attention and he asked, "Why?"

"Everytime I feel; I feel pain. It always happens and I don't want to be hurt anymore."

Shikamaru stayed silent for a while and I thought he was going to ignore me, but he started talking again. "I would rather feel pain everyday than miss one moment of happiness."

He didn't even turn to look at me as he said it, but that sentence hit me like a ton of bricks. If I could be happy; would I enjoy emotions? I had always lived my life in fear and acceptance of pain. Could I live a different way? "I don't know how to be happy." I confessed and that got him to look at me.

"I'll show you." With that I gained my first true friend. He encouraged me to feel and explained everything to me like he would a three year old. He even was able to get me to put words to how I was feeling, but also explained that it was okay if there were no words for how I was feeling. Everyone that had been in the graduating class slowly got closer to me as my shell broke and emotions came flooding back in. The first time I smiled at Kiba he freaked out and ran around screaming that I wasn't the real Naruto and that someone had replaced me. The biggest breakthrough came during a dinner all of us met up to have. It was at a place called Ichiraku. It was the first time I had ever had a warm meal and it was amazing. There are no words to describe how good a warm meal is when you have gone twelve years without one. It was also the first time I laughed for the first time. The feeling of the laugh building scared me and I thought I had eaten too much, but then a sound came out of me and it felt good. So I let it keep coming and soon enough I was laughing so hard I was crying. I was crying in happiness for the first time and it felt amazing. Everyone had joined me and once the laughter had died down everyone shot me a smile and Shikamaru gave me a thumbs up. It was at this point I started to feel something new towards him. Shika had been the first person to tell me it was okay to feel and laugh. He told me that the world wasn't all pain. He showed me how to be happy. He was my rock to keep me steady and the earthquake to surprise me.

The following week was the chunin exams and Shikimaru and I nailed it. The written test was easy as pie and I could have slept through the second round. The finals were a little tough, but we got through it and I thought an uptight snob named Neji Hyuga that one could change their faith because I had changed mine. An abuse in the village happened shortly after the final fight was done, but it was quickly put to rest because I was able to get a clone of myself out to the Hokage with information that Orochimaru was in the village. The Old Man had been injured but was alive and I went with my God-father Jiraiya to find Tsunade, a kickass gabling addict woman. She was a great Hokage while the Old Man retired.

A little while after the exams Sasuke tried to run off to Orochimaru because he promised him power to defeat Itachi and I. I reminded him that I got all of my power in the village and beat him to prove a point, but not before he stuck his arm through my chest. Sakura dropped her crush after learning he cared more about power than everyone in the village combined and over the next few years I trained even harder to up my power and trained Sasuke right alongside me. Sakura went to work at the hospital when not on missions and became Tsunada's apprentice. She also became scary because of her crazy straight and short temper. Jiriaiya and I patched things up after I thrashed him from abandoning me to the village's rath and he trained me in what he could including seals. I took to seals like a fish to water. I quickly became a seal master and started to manufacture seals for the village. Another thing that changed was that Shika and I started dating. Around a year after bringing Sasuke back Shika asked me to go out with him and I agreed.

He was my night and day and I loved him more than anyone in the entire world. In my mind I would have sacrificed the village to keep him safe. I didn't care. I still love him to this day. Of course letting someone like that into your life creates an attachment that enemies can threaten. I had accepted this and was willing to take the risk, but I didn't think that my own village would use it against me. Around three years after Sasuke was returned to the village after his attempt to flee I was called to the Hokage's office to be informed that my long term mission of watching the new generation was over and I was to return to full ANBU status immediately by the civil council. If I refused they would force me back in and tell everyone I had made bonds with that I had died or I could return willingly, inform all of them of my true self, and say goodbye. By this time Sai had joined our little group and he was also a former Root agent. He was still working on the emotions thing, but he was getting better. I had wanted to get to know him better, but I guessed that there wasn't any more time. Full ANBU status ment I would live in the ANBU headquarters and only leave if for a mission or to use the training grounds. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone which ANBU I was and wasn't able to have any contact with them from my re-enlistment day forward. There wasn't even a chance of me meeting them out and in the streets. I had until next week to say goodbye.

Shika and I shared an apartment by that time so when I came home I just sat there numb on the couch until he got done with his shift at the academy as an assessment sensei. I didn't even have the will in me to put away the fruits I had bought at the market. A small thing I enjoyed that I would never be able to do again. I looked around our small-ish apartment and walked around. I was suddenly filled with the need to touch every wall and item in the house. I took a long look at the pictures on the wall. There was one of my first birthday party, one of our first date, one with everyone, one with the Old Man and granny, one of Jiraiya and I, and one of Shika and me kissing in front of the lake that started it all. Next I moved to the kitchen. There were cuts in the wooden table from where I had tried to cut vegetables without a cutting board. The burnt part where I had put a hot pan down and forgotten about it. I opened the fridge and put the fruit away before making my way to the bathroom. Shika and I had completely redone the bathroom when we got our place. It only had a shower and both of us wanted a place to relax. The tile had been hideous and the shrink had been leaking. Right after it was all done I spread Shika with the shower attachment to the bath and he grabbed it and sprayed me. That day we had a water fight and by the end of it we were both laughing and soaked. The final room was our bedroom.

Shika had comforted me after more than one horrifying nightmare from my past in the bed. I had fallen asleep reading about seals on the desk in the corner. The final part was the balcony. It had a great view to the lake we first met at and a beautiful view of the stars. It was our favorite place in the whole apartment. We had spent hours in each other's arms just looking at the wonderful world around us, together. I walked out onto the balcony to watch the sunset behind buildings and stars start to rise. Just as the sunset hit its peak I felt arms wrap around me and I melted into them. Shika hugged me to his chest as the sunset finished and day turned into night. He said nothing as I turned in his arms to barry my face in his chest and cry. He just held me tighter and kissed the top of my head. He let me cry out all the anger and frustration I felt at not having a choice. All the sadness and pain I felt from having to leave the life that had turned into a fairytale for me. I cried so long and hard that I fell asleep in his arms; right there on our balcony.

I woke up feeling warm and refreshed. Shika had cuddled me close during the night and my face was buried in his chest. I took a deep breath and tried to capture the feeling of peace that waking up with him brought me. This would be one of the last times that I would be able to experience this feeling. Once I went back to ANBU he would find another that he felt close to and I would be left in the past. A lost memory; just as I was always supposed to be. As I layed there and thought Shika started to wake up and move around. I looked up and met his eyes. Even after all these years he was still taller than me.

"Good morning." I mumbled as I relaxed into his body once again.

"Morning." He paused as if he was deciding to ask the question I knew was coming. "What happened?" There it was.

I hid my face in his chest and mumbled out, "I'll tell you later. Right now I just want to stay right here with you." He silentl;y agreed by hugging my tighter and relaxing back into the bed. The moment was ruined when he got up to go use the restroom and I decided I couldn't put it off any longer. I sluggishly moved over to the dresser and got dressed in clean clothes. I threw my clothes into the clothes bins and walked out onto our balcony once more. Something about that balcony always calmed me down and let me think and reflect. Shika used to tease me that the balcony to me was his thinking pose to him, and I think he was right. The light on my face, the fresh air, the far off sounds of people going about their day, and the open space cleared my mind and made me feel free. I didn't hear the door to the restroom close, but I felt Shika come up behind me. He leaned against the railing next to me and stared at me. I don't know what he was looking for, but he must have found the worry and sadness in my eyes because is soon filled with the same.

"What is it?" He asked quietly as if scared that any loud noise would shatter me.

"What is it not?" I asked rhetorically before looking over at him and taking a deep breath, "I have told you a lot about my past, but I have always left a big part of it blank and told you I would tell you later. Yesterday something about that time of my life came back up and I have to tell you now." He grabbed my hand in silent strength. "From the ages of about five to twelve I was a part of ROOT." I gazed at his eyes to only see love and concern, "At the time I was tired of only feeling pain and being hurt all the time so I took Danzo's deal and became a part of his ROOT to get rid of my feelings. For seven years I killed people just because I was told to, and then you guys graduated. I was assigned to watch over all the clan's heirs, especially Saskue, and keep you guys safe and loyal. At the beginning I only thought of you guys as a chore I needed to complete, but now you guys are my family." I took a deep breath and held back the tears and I told him the last part. "Yesterday I was commanded by the civil council to go back to being Full ANBU status." By now the tears had started to fall down my face, "but I don't want to go back. I want to stay here with all of you guys. My family."

Shika said nothing but pulled me into a tight hug and occasionally kissed me on top of my head. I could feel the wetness of his tears in my hair, but I didn't care. I was going to savor this moment. Finally Shika spoke, "That's bullshit. They can't take you away from us."

I pulled back to look at his face as I gave him the bad news, "Actually they can. The law states that any person in ANBU for more than one year can be pulled back into ANBU unless discharged for medical or mental reasons if voted on by more than half of either council or the Hokage." He rested his head on mine and held me close.

"We'll go tell the others in a little while. For now would you just stay with me?"

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and spoke softly into his ear, "Of course I will."

We stayed like that for hours until Shika sent out a clone to ask everyone to meet at our place for dinner and an important announcement. Once the clone was gone Shika and I set to making dinner and finding enough room for everyone. The Kohana twelve, as they called my class and the one before us, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Hiruzen were all invited to the dinner and everyone had agreed to come. Shika and I had a blast while making dinner and we made a mess when I split flour all around the counter and on the floor. We had a flour battle with the ruined flour and then cleaned it up and got changed. Just as we finished setting the table the first people started to arrive. I greeted everyone and tried to memorize their faces. I didn't know if I would ever be able to see them again.

The meal was full of laughs and stories from years past or recipient events. The entire time I felt as if I was out of touch with the feeling of the room. Everyone was happy, but I was content and sad at the same time. I was thinking about how it would no longer be this way and I already was longing for more of these memories. It was the same indescribable feeling I had felt as a child looking in on family holidays. I felt like I was looking at the dinner through glass. I was there, but not. I could talk but I didn't. I didn't want to ruin the moment or break the spell of happiness. I looked over to Shika to see him staring at me. I gave him a small smile I knew didn't reach my eyes and he gave me one in return. Our silent conversation was cut short by Tsunade. "So what's the announcement? You brats finally tying the knot?" Even then I couldn't stop my face from heating up but it also came with a wave of sadness. We wouldn't get that chance.

I slowly stood up and got everyone's attention, "So I have some big news to share with all of you, but unfortunately it isn't good." I told them the same thing I told Shika and Kiba reacted the same way he did. I explained why It was legal. After my big speech no one could meet each other's eyes and I decided I didn't want it to be that way. "Oh stop that." I heard myself saying, "I wouldn't have told you all if I thought this was the way you were going to react. You're acting as if I have already left. I have six more days with all of you and I want to make them count. So stop it with the depressed staring and give me a hug." I held open my arms as everyone rushed up to me. Even Sai and Sasuke did. "I'm not dying. I;m just going away for a while. I'll see you all again when we are old and retired."

I doubted that and I could tell everyone else did too. The retirement age for ANBU was lower than that of a Hokage's. I felt a few people squeeze me harder and the Saskura chimed in, "I better see you when I'm old and wrinkly or I'm going to be pissed." Everyone agreed to that statement and I couldn't help but smile. That was the Saskura I knew.

"Don't think I won't search for a way to get that law changed brat. I'm going to get you out of there as fast as I can." Tsunade told me and a lot of people agreed to help her.

"Okay, but after you spend your time with me, okay?" Everyone agreed to that and there were small smiles and hope filled eyes in the crowd as they left our apartment.

Over the next five days everyone filled my days with smiles and things I had wanted to do for a long time. No one objected when we went to go eat ramen and I even revealed that the only reason I ate so much ramen was because it was my first warm, homemade meal ever. It was the sixth and final day that caught me off guard.

I woke up to Shika missing from the bed. This was strange since I always woke up before him. Years of ANBU had done that to me. I slowly got up and made my way into the kitchen area only to find him still missing. Shika had never failed to leave me a note or tell me beforehand if he was going somewhere. He knew I had issues with abandonment and he always did those little things to calm that voice in my head, but this time he hadn't and it made that voice scream. "He's gone. He left you for good. You are leaving him, it's only fair. You weren't worth him in the first place you broken boy." Just as the voice was starting to become too much and I feel to the ground a person came into the room. They grabbed my hands, that had made their way into my hair at some point, and brought them back down to my chest. The voice I started to hear was female and I could see some pink in my vision.

"Sakura?" I asked in confusion. What was she doing here?

"Oh Naruto, I'm so sorry. We didn't think you would get up before I could come get you. I'm sorry." She apologized

"We?" I asked lowly as she pulled me to my feet as the voice started to leave my head.

"Yes. You will see as soon as we get there, but for now I need to to trust me and out this blind fold on so I can lead you there." She held out a cloth and I took it with no hesitation.

She grabbed my hand and led me around people and buildings until we hit grass. We traveled a little while longer until I could hear water and sense all of the important people in my life. SHika was there. Sasukra removed the blindfold and I stared in awe at the cavern of crystals. I had always wanted to visit this place since I saw a pamphlet for it on one of our delivery missions, but I didn't know it was so close.

"I didn't know there was a crystal cave so close to Kohana." I stated in awe.

"There isn't, well, wasn't. Everyone worked together to make it so you would have a safe place to go to if you ever needed any of us while in ANBU or just some space to get away." Shika told me from behind my back. I turned to thank all of them, but my voice caught in my throat by what I saw. Shika was on one knee and holding a beautiful golden ring made from the crystals that lined the walls behind me.

"Naruto Uzumaki, ever since you walked into all of our lives you have made all of us better. Whether it was getting stronger, smart, or having a better work ethic, you have improved us all, but I was the one lucky enough to be blessed with your love and devotion. I was the one lucky enough to be the one that made you dinner after you trained too hard. Give you a massage after a long day. Even hold you as you cried for the first time. I shared your food, home, and bed. In return I give you my heart to be yours and only yours for as long as I live and even beyond. Naruto Uzumaki, angel among men, will you marry me?" I stood shocked after Shika had finished and then the tears started to fall.

"I won't be able to marry you until we are both very old; if I will be able to at all. Why would you want to propose to me?" I asked through tears, "You could have so many others."

Shika stood from his kneeling position and walked up to me. "I could never choose someone that didn't have your face, voice, heart, dedication, and love. So will you marry me? No matter how long it takes?" All I could do was nod and jump into Shika's arms as he put the ring on my finger."

Naruto paused to unseal the ring from a seal tattoo on his chest and show it to the kids before continuing the story.

"That night I slipped out of our apartment and to the ANBU headquarters to be tested and given my new rank and clothes. The tested me on everything from random knowledge to battle tactics and physical endurance with fights and torture. Everything had to be re-tested and at the end of it all the only bad mark on my sheet was that I thought with my emotions instead of following orders without question. The first month or two after my return to ANBU they ran me around like a rag doll. I had mission after mission thrown at me to see if I could handle it or if I would break. Every time I had any downtime I tried to make my way to the crystal cave everyone made for me. I got to see Shika and the gang al;omst six months after I had left in that year's chunin exams. Shika had come to be a proctor and everyone else came to cheer on Konohamaru and his team. I was set up in the ceiling of the stadium and away from any of my friends or loved ones. Whoever was in charge knew what they were doing, but they weren't good enough. Once I saw my chance I made a blood clone and let it watch my spot while I snuck down to the stands and balcony. Konohamaru was surrounded by our friends getting congratulated on his great win and Shika was there as they fixed the battle grounds.

I tossed my ring right at Konohamaru's head and with a little "bonk" it hit his head and he grabbed what had hit him. He needed to work on perception of his surroundings. He looked at it before he realized what it was and showed it to everyone else. Soon enough everyone was looking for me before Shika spotted me in the corner and rushed to pull me into his arms. I had been smart enough to take off my ANBU mask and seal it away beforehand so they wouldn't know who I was. They would hear about anything that happened, good or bad, in my ANBU courier would come out of my mouth.

"How did you get down here? Are you able to come back to us?" The hope in his voice almost broke me, but I couldn't lie to him.

"No, I was able to sneak down here because I am part of the ANBU protection and before you say anything Sakura I have a blood clone watching my spot, don't worry." Sakura's mouth closed with a snap and everyone lost a bit of the hope that had previously been in their eyes. "I'm sorry, but I wanted to stop by while I could. I have to go now before someone notices that it's not really me up there." Shika pulled me into a kiss before I could go and returned my ring to my finger. I gave him a sad smile before I shunshined away back to my spot. The exam continued but I could see my friends looking around for me every once and a while. They would smile anytime they saw an ANBU and return back to watching the games. Right before the final battle began between Konohamaru and some girl from the Sand I was grabbed from behind and knocked out. Right before I went down I saw an ANBU take my place then nothing more.

I awoke to a splash of cold water on my face. I was chained to a chair in the middle of a big open room with no windows and wicked looking tools surrounded me. I was in a tourcher room, but where? I doubted I was in another village and that made me worry. I looked at the man who had woken me up only to see a blank mask and dead eyes staring at me.

"Hello sleeping beauty." A voice said from behind me. "I bet you wonder where you are. Don't worry, you're still in Kohana, but just a little underground." They came around to my vision and I didn't recognize them right away. Then it clicked. This was one of the men that was a part of the council that demanded I return to active ANBU duty. "War is coming to our lands and I need to make sure that Kohana still stands once all is said and done." He leaned in close, "You, my boy, are perfect to fit that role." I didn't know what he meant and I couldn't ask him. I had a cloth stuffed into my mouth and tied around my head so tightly it was giving me a headache. The last thing the man said before he left was, "your turn." to the other man in the room.

He left through the wall, so genjutsu, and as soon as he was gone the man descended upon me. I don't know how long I was tortured but eventually I became numb to it once more. I had lost what I had gained back over the years with my friends; my humanity. I was now a tool once again. The boss visited every once and a while to tease me with the knowledge he had on me and what was happening up above in the village. The last day I can remember well from that time only the boss came into my room and he only said a couple sentences, but they slowly broke me. "Your friends got a law passed that only in the face of a decremental threat can the village call back retired or undercover ANBU and only with a vote of two thirds of both councils or an order from the Hokage. Every ANBU that has been forced back into duty within the last three years is being returned to normal life. Unfortunately, they will come up one short." WOth that he left and my brain did the rest of the job. I was worn down from months of tourcher and pain and it had taken its toll. This was just the killing blow.

"You missed your chance. They're going to think you died. No one is coming for you now. You will forever be in pain. You will never be happy. You will never be human. You are a tool." After that I can't really remember what happened. I had hid any part of me that was still human so deep inside of me that I was an empty shell that followed orders and did as I was told. I was informed of some of the deeds I did while I was "out of it" and they weren't good. I killed so many people and pleased many others. I stole and almost started the war myself, but it came anyway. During the war I was a tool as well. I didn't eat or drink unless it was to live. Sleep was an option and fighting was a must. Orders had to be followed and failure wasn't an option.

One day while fighting out in the field some Kohana shinobi spotted me, but didn't recognize the mask I wore. I had gotten a new one from the boss that wasn't registered to Kohana's database. The shinobi rushed me and tried to take me out, but I defended. I couldn;t fail my mission and I was already running late. Later I would realize that the mission I was sent on would have been impossible for me to complete on my own without dying. It was a suicide mission and the boss knew that. He was trying to get rid of me because the Hokage was catching on that he was hiding something. The battle finally ended when a spiky haired shinobi got behind me and secured me with his shadow. At this point I woke up enough to remember what happened next. The shinobi made me move closer to him slowly and then he took extra ninja wire and tied me to a tree making sure to keep my hands away from each other and slapped a chakra suppressing seal on me for good measure. Slowly they took off my mask and once removed a gasp fell among them.

"Naruto?" asked the one who had tied me up. I spared him a glance but didn't respond. I didn't remember my name. I had gone by just a boy for so long I couldn't. I went to find out that I was in the boss's hold for over two years. "I thought you died." The shinobi tried to get closer to me and I growled. I wasn't letting anyone get close to me. As far as I knew they weren't under the boss's command so they were enemies.

"Oh, Naruto." Can the voice of the pink haired one. She slowly got closer as well and paid for it when I was able to swing my leg out and send her flying into a tree. Immediately I was knocked out and when I woke up next I was in a white room with an annoying beeping sound. The group had brought me all the way back to Kohana to be watched and monitored. Slowly over the next couple of months as the war ranged on I got better. My memories mostly came back to me, but no matter what we tried I couldn't remember what had happened during my time under the boss. It turned out that he flead and either died or got away so no one was able to get answers out of him. Eventually I decided that I was better off not knowing. Shika and everyone came to visit when they could. Tsunade was kind enough to post Shika close to the village so he was there a lot. I still remember the first day I called Shika, Shika again.

It was another day of sitting in the hospital. I could only remember that my Name was Naruto Uzimaki and that I was a shinobi of Kohana. I was 22 years old at that point and I had been presumed dead for three and a half years while I was under the boss's command. I couldn't tell them anything about him or what he was planning on using me for and I felt useless. I was trying to remember when a normal visitor of mine came in. He refused to give his name saying he wanted to hear it out of my mouth when I remembered. He was tall and around my age with spiky black hair pulled up into a ponytail. He would sit and talk to me for hours about how the war was going, the others, life, and random stuff. He would jump from topic to topic trying to make me remember anything and I hated it when the light in his eyes would dim when he made a reference I should have known. After a half an hour of him talking to me he brought up the subject of going to Ichuraku and my memories came flooding back. The pain of my childhood, the numbness of my early ANBU years, the feeling of being welcome during the first years of my "mission", and finally the love and sadness I experienced right before I couldn't remember anything. Shika, this man's name was Shikamaru Nara and I was engaged to him.

"You still want to marry me?" I cut him off. He stared at me in wonder and hopeful silence and I continued, "Do you still want to marry me, Shika?" I asked him. And he pulled me into a hug and a long kiss.

"Of course I do, you troublesome blond." He laughed as tears ran down his face. I gave him one of my true smiles and kissed him again. "How about in a week?"

"A week, isn't that a little early?" I questioned as we pulled away.

"Not with this war going on. It's getting worse and if things go bad I want to have married you." He responded to my question and I could see through his words. If one of us died he wanted to die married.

"That isn't happening, but I think we have waited long enough."

The next week we were quickly married in front of our friends and his family. It was a good thing we were married then too because the day afterwards the war turned horrible and we were pulled into the war. A week after that we lost our first friends, Kiba, to the war. Then one after another our friends fell until only Shika, Sasuke, Sakura, Lee, and I were left. The day of the big battle against Madara Uchiha, our village was destroyed and Shika's father died. It devastated him and I couldn't pull him out of it. Both of us had lost so many people the last week alone that we had become numb to loss, but a parent was different then a friend. After that the morale of Konoha shinobi plumated. Some would take guesses on how they were going to die while others gave up in the middle of battle. Slowly the number of Konoha shinobi, and shinobi overall, dwindled down to almost nothing. It was rare to see another shinobi and most of them just tried to survive as long as they could by hiding and scavenging for food. Shika and I looked for a way to stop Madara from his powerful rampage.

We hit gold when we found an ancient ritual that would comecet the performers to Kami to speak with her. It took about a year and a half to gather all of the supplies needed to perform said ritual and once we did we were met with devastating news. Kami would not help us for she was bound to stay out of moral problems. The only way she could help us was if one of us became her chosen protector and forfeited their ability to die of any cause and there could only be one. It tore Shika and I apart, but we knew we needed to agree to have any chance of saving our world. I became her protector and gained powers I would like to keep to myself, but they wer enough to defeat Madara and save what was left of our world. Sakura, Sasuke, Lee, Shika, and I were the only remaining Kohana shinobi so we decided to seal our village away for good. We separated and went to live our own lives with Lee becoming a defense teacher, Sasuke and Sakura settling down, and Shika and I becoming wandering travelers. I learned how to heal using plants and my chakra while Shika taught me on the fly strategy. We made money by selling rare wares we found on our travels before we stayed in a hand built house right outside of a quaint little town we loved to go to. Our house was huge and we turned it into an orphanage to help children with lives like mine. The house was three stories and had a bigger kitchen than we would ever need, plenty of rooms for the kids, a garden, room for the kids to play, and a balcony just like the one back in the village. It faced the town off in the distance and you could watch the sunset.

All too soon the kids grew up and Shika grew old. I had to use a genjutsu on myself to make it look as if I was aging as he was and then after many great years together Shika was on his deathbed. I kissed him one last time and told him it was okay to let go and he was gone. I had made a blood clone to leave there and act as if I had died of a broken heart and hid in the cave system nearby. I felt it when the world shifted and our Chakra turned into your magic. When the Dragons came and when a war between chakra users and magic users broke out. I was still healing from our own war hundreds of years ago so I didn't join the battle and stayed in my cave. I didn't come out until Igneel found me and tried to force me out. I beat him and put the fear of humans in him. It was because of that fight that the dragons turned to humans to become dragon slayers in the dragon war. The rest is history. I met some questionable people, some I would never forget, and others I hoped to."

Naruto finished his story and waited for his kids' responses. None of them spoke, but all of them moved to hug him tight. Too many emotions ran through everyone present at the campsite and at the time none of them could put their thoughts into words.

Finally Wendy spoke up and said what the kids were thinking, "Nii-san, I'm sorry."