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CAN YOU GUYS REMEMBER MANDARK'S EVIL LAUGH ? ( DEXTER'S LAB ) :)))
I left Thebes completely disappointed- with her, yes, but mostly with myself for having actually expected something else from that entire situation. I should have known though – things don't really change over night and for her to actually trust me again as to pick up from where we left off – let's just say it will take a lot of hard work and dedication ….. I would have still fucked her to oblivion and back though…..I could have – I mean we did have quite a good thing going on there but damn her to Tartarus,for having messed with my mind to the point where I sound even sappier than Cupid !
That being said, I casually wave my hand and open up a portal. As much as I hate doing this,I did promise her I will keep an eye on that rabid Bachae, so that's exactly what I'm going to do , but definitely from afar. There is no way I'm getting anywhere near her-way too annoying for my taste.
….And yet, here I am, only one minute later, literally throwing myself through a vortex and cursing like a madman in ten different languages the hard landing that fallowed-with all its side effects ( that debilitating, frontal collision with a nearby tree was no joke, I'm telling ya') once I see the blabbering Bard taking a vial of something to her lips, and if my guess is right, its content is supposed to send her straight to the Underworld faster than I can say ''Princess.''
Needless to say, Xena would kill me . I'm not kidding –have you ever seen her angry ?Like really angry ?Ok, now imagine her angry and heartbroken. Lethal combination, just so you know – no one would ever be safe again, god or mortal - so, believe it or not , my divine intervention saves the day- the only person unable to see this of course, being the almost future victim herself.
''Ares?! What are you doing here ?!'' she asks- a puzzled expression on her face-slowly lowering the vial and covering it discreetly with her other hand.
''Ummm….I don't know, Blondie….what does it look like I'm doing ?'' I bark, barely able to keep my balance. Everything is spinning with and around me.
''Attacking a tree …with your head, maybe ?'' she stammers, looking as if she actually thought that to be an option. ''Not really fond of protecting the environment, huh?...No wonder...'' she adds the last part as if I'm not even here .
I just give her the look- that particular one that could make any mortal – and most of the immortals as well – shit themselves then and there.
''Or something else entirely ….'' she tries to fix it- but only manages to exasperate me even more if possible. ''So….don't mind me…hit it again if you must, I won't tell a soul, I promise…'' the words keep rolling out of her mouth, and this time I can't really tell if she's being ironic or just stupid …..
''The vortex is broken !'' I yell at her, nervously running my hand through my hair . '' I was supposed to be already on Olympus – flash meeting…''
''Oh …ok …..''
''So uh…..I don't see Xena anywhere …..I thought you two were like two peas in a pod.'' I remark, carefully scrutinizing the area.
''Yeah, well, she's off to Thebes…..doing some heroic stuff there ….'' she vaguely mentions, looking aside, visibly uncomfortable.
''Without you ?! Her precious sidekick?! '' I exclaim, casually dusting my leather vest. ''I didn't even think that was possible these days….''I mockingly add, making sure I offend her enough as to get her where I want.
''Gods, I hate that word! Why does everyone use it ? I am not a sidekick ok ? I am a travelling companion! ''
''AKA sidekick- gotcha, Blondie….''
''Well anyway'' she huffs'' Xena's not here, as you can well see, so…''
''Yeah….?''
''Didn't you say you have a meeting to attend ?''
''I did….Just like I said the vortex is broken!'' I emphasize, rolling my eyes at her.
''Well try walking to Olympus then!'' she retorts, beyond irritated by my presence.
''You want me to walk ?! All the way to Olympus?!''
''It's only two days away , Ares. It won't kill ya'!''
I just frown at the awareness that my Princess has just used that same phrase earlier today, and I can't help taking in a deep breath.
''Are you familiar with the term ''flash meeting '' by any chance?''
She just grins widely, basking in the glory of her temporary success- she has been mocking me all along….
''Do you have a death wish or something?! '' I inquire, heading menacingly her way, clenching my fists, as if ready to send her flying straight into that damned tree I have just visited.
''Not right now I don't.''
''Well shut up then! I need to think!''
''Think about what ?''
''The weather! '' I cuttingly reply, briefly wondering whether or not I should just ease her suffering and kill her on the spot. Painlessly, effortlessly ….I could even make it seem like an accident ….or as if she was attacked by some starving pack of wolves….or a bear, a big, mean looking bear….Still, Xena would never fall for that….''About how to get to Olympus obviously …Where exactly are we?''
''Apollonia ….''
And what's the closest town from here?''
''Potidea ….''
''Potidea…..'' I repeat, narrowing my eyes, as if mentally looking for solutions.
''Yeah…..That's where I'm headed….'' she mentions. Just the detail I was looking for...
''I have a temple there …'' I murmur, pensively stroking my goatee.
''How does that help ?''
''Every temple is a direct portal to Olympus….So that's what I need to do. Get to Potidea! ''
''Good thinking….well …have a safe trip!'' she simply says, leaving me speechless for a few seconds.
''What do you mean ? I 'm coming with you!''
She keeps string at me incredulously.
''Anything wrong?'' I ask, barely holding back a wave of laughter. This is just hilarious. Demeaning but hilarious.
'' You want to travel to Potidea….with me ….?''
As expected, she can't believe her ears….
''Why ever not? We are headed in the same direction aren't we?'' I try to convince her, but it seems like her mind is already set on a scenario of its own…
''You' re actually lost , aren't you ? You have no idea where Potidea is- or how to get out of this forest….''
''That's a bit far-fetched, don't you think?''I swiftly respond, avoiding her gaze, making an effort to look uncomfortable and confused.
''Not really ….I mean, it makes perfect sense! So….the God of War, lost and in need of help-my help, can you believe it?"'she replies with a chuckle, suddenly amused by the whole situation.
''Not in a million years!'' I exclaim, silently wondering just how naive could she be?
''Yeah, tell me about it! Can't wait to write this down! Though no one would ever believe me! Wait till Xena hears about this…..!''
''One word to anyone, Blondie and I'll put your head on a spike!'' I warn, glaring daggers at her…Much to my surprise, she doesn't seem as impressed as I would like her to be…
''I was about to have breakfast when you came …..Want some goat cheese? ''she asks, clearing her throat and taking a seat by her bedroll. ''I have this amazing herb sauce I bought in Thessaly a few days back, to go with it.'' she adds, showing me the vial. ''I would have never guessed cheese and herbs make such a fine combination…..''
I just feel the need to rub my temples. I genuinely feel like my head is about to explode …
''Herb sauce ….''
''Yeah…It's a new recipe some sailor brought from Persia two summers ago…Can you believe that ?!''
Instead of an answer I just materialize two goblets of red wine to go with the damned cheese, making a supernatural effort not to lose my marbles during this absolutely horrendous morning….
In the meantime, as I was about to discover a bit later, Thebes was getting fairly crowded with heroes- all of them summoned at the request of King Nycetus himself. Just try to picture my reaction when, at nightfall, as the Bard was finally asleep, opening a portal to check on my Princess, I found her exchanging strategy tips with none other than…
DON'T KILL THE WRITER. I MEAN NO HARM- PINKY SWEAR AND ALL! :))