Author's Note: My deepest and most sincere thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. Those of you who keep sending regular reviews are the highlight of this entire process. Without you guys I would have no reason to continue writing it, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Methos watched, as Xander left the dance floor and headed outside while Buffy, clearly discouraged, sat back down at the table. She was visibly tense. His first reaction was to touch her shoulders and offer comfort, but he wasn't entirely sure if that would be welcome. They were on shaky ground after their last encounter at Joe's and he was hesitant now about physical signs of affection.

"He all right?" Duncan asked, apparently noticing Buffy's distress. Methos shot the Highlander a 'drop it' look, but either he didn't see it, or chose to ignore it.

"It's like he's not even here." Buffy said sadly. "I don't know how to get through."

"Maybe you can't," Duncan said softly. "There's no shame in that."

"Yea, well it sure as hell feels like I've failed him." There was a bitterness in her voice that worried Methos and as Joe launched into another ballad, he seized upon it, and grabbed her hand pulling her gently, but firmly onto the dance floor.

She was surprised at first, but didn't resist. Truth was, she was upset by the vacant look she had seen in Xander's eyes and wanted the comfort and the closeness that Methos was offering.

She allowed him to pull her into his arms, and rested her head against his chest inhaling the scent of him and instantly relaxing slightly.

He was confused slightly by her reaction, but not unhappy about it. He held her gently, and they swayed gently to the music, both lost in pretending that everything was OK between them and the rest of the world. Eventually Methos broke the spell and pulled back to look at her.

"I know you care for him, but you can't heal him." He hated the truth of his words, but felt she needed to hear and understand them or she would drive herself mad. "You may be the slayer, but your powers can't repair the damage he's suffered. It's beyond you."

"It's my fault." She told him. It was the first time she had voiced those words out loud and doing so only made them feel even more true. "And he knows it. I took him in there against Caleb and the first. He lost his eye because of me. Then Anya died and…I don't know if he blames me, but he has every right to."

"You can't take responsibility for every injury those around you suffer." Methos told her. "Xander chose to fight with you. He chose to love someone who did the same thing. Is that your fault as well?"

"You don't understand." Her eyes glinted with a hard stubbornness that reminded him sometimes of Duncan.

"I do understand, and you know it." He told her, just as stubbornly. "I know you Buffy. Whether you like it or not, I know you better than most people. You take on too much responsibility and guilt. When I first met you…"

"When you first met me, I had just killed the man I loved to save the world and then abandoned my friends to think I might be dead." She spat angrily. "Don't you dare try to tell me I shouldn't have felt guilty about that."

"I'm not saying that." Methos said patiently. "But I am saying that you have to move past the guilt and recognize that not everything is your fault. You had to kill him. And Xander has to deal with his own loss his own way. You have to realize that."

"You think you know me," she said with a heavy sigh, "but it's been so long since we've seen each other…I'm not anything like the girl I was then. I'm….harder, colder."

"I don't see that." He told her. She shook her head.

"You're not looking hard enough." She met his gaze and shivered slightly at the emotion she saw in his eyes. "It feels like the older I get the more I lose of my humanity. I can't love someone the way I should. It's like I've lost a vital part of myself. I just don't want that to happen to Xander too."

"I don't know about Xander," Methos admitted. "But I know you can love. I've seen it. It's in the way you care for your sister, your worry for Xander, the guilt you still feel over Angel, the feelings you had for Spike. All of these things are proof positive that you have not lost anything."

"What about us?" She looked at him as if to challenge him. He felt his heart speed up at the idea of there being an 'us' for them to discuss, but banished it. "I know you have feelings Methos…and part of me wants to…"

"Wants to what?" He felt his breath catch slightly. They were actually discussing it now. It was now or never to show her how much he cared.

"To care back…to try to feel again, but I…" she trailed off, unable to articulate her thoughts. He watched the emotions swirl in her eyes and reached out, unable to help himself, and brushed the hair from her eyes, trailing his fingers lightly down the line of her jaw.

"It's not hard Buffy," he said softly.

"It is." She replied biting her lip. He was so heart stoppingly beautiful that she almost chucked her resolve entirely and kissed him, but she managed to keep herself in check. "I'm just so tired of trying and failing…I couldn't love Riley properly, I couldn't be what Spike needed. I don't want to hurt you. I don't think I could be what you need, and I don't want to go through that hell trying."

There, she had said it. She watched his eyes intently for anger or hurt, but saw neither of those two emotions. To her great surprise she instead saw warmth tenderness. He touched her face again ever so softly and her heart raced in response.

"Buffy what do you think I want from you?" It was a simple enough question, but the look on her face told him that she had spent too much time in relationships where she had been unable to provide whatever the answer had been.

"I don't know." She finally admitted. Her voice was small and frightened. "I just know that if I can't give it to you there's always a chance that our friendship might be lost and I don't want that. Not ever."

"That is something you will never have to worry about." He vowed. "As for what I want, why don't I show you?"

Slowly, so that she had every opportunity to back out if she chose, he bent towards her and kissed her softly, but with all the emotion inside him. It was brief, but he made his point. When he pulled back he cupped her chin in his hands.

"I'm not looking for any declarations, or vows." He promised. "I'm not asking for anything that you don't want to give. I care about you…very deeply and I don't know where that will take us, but I want the chance to be able to find out."

"I don't know." She looked away, fearing that any moment she would break down and promise more than she could deliver.

"I won't push you." He stated. "But let me ask you this. Do you have feelings for me? Beyond friendship?"

"I…" she trailed off. She did have feelings…very deep feelings, but to say them out loud was to commit to a course of action she was still very frightened of. She wasn't ready to lose Methos the friend, no matter how appealing Methos the lover might be. It was all too much too soon.

Her hesitation did not go unnoticed however, as he nodded in understanding and stepped back returning her personal space to her.

"I meant what I said about not pushing." His eyes were sad, but resigned. "When you are ready to answer the question I just asked you, let me know. I will be waiting."