"Do you ever think about it?"

The smell of salt stung his nose, and a wave crashed against the sand inches from the toe of his boots. He didn't answer, or even turn his head to acknowledge her question, knowing that his silence would prompt her to continue better than his words ever could.

"Do you regret it?"

Kagura had developed a flare for the dramatic recently, and the start of this monologue seemed par for the course.

"It would've saved us both a lot of heartache, you know."

He rolled his eyes at her double entendre and kept looking out at the horizon, that faint line of blue that separated sea from sky. At least it didn't seem as if she was trying to start a fight.

"What was even going through your head, when I asked you?"

He tried to think of what question she was referring to, but suddenly a gull cawed loudly, far above their heads and stole his attention. He looked up and watched it briefly, the way it soared gently through the blinding blue―

"Are you even listening to me?"

He finally looked down at her, and was surprised at the look she was giving him. Arms resting on her knees and one hand propping up her chin as she looked up at him, she didn't look angry―a good sign, though the furrow of her brow and the quirk to her lip meant that she was irritated―mostly she just looked curious.

Sesshoumaru sighed. "What are you referring to?"

She gave a little snort and turned away to dig her toes deeper into the sand.

"Don't play dumb." The sound of her eyes rolling was almost audible over the sound of crashing waves. "I'm talking about when we first met."

Ah. He replayed her previous questions over.

Did he ever think about it? Yes.

Did he regret it? Not in the way that she assumed.

Would it have saved them both heartache? Most likely.

What had been going through his head? Rage, jealousy, indignation at having been left behind, spite and―

"You still ain't listening," she spat, and he realized that she'd stood up and was walking away from him into the surf. "Jackass."

He watched her go, his mind suddenly filled with a thousand different thoughts, all too complicated and embarrassing to speak out loud, especially when he couldn't quite gauge her mood. It would have been easier if she was angry.

"What do you expect me to say?" he called, walking along behind her. The water sloshed into his boots, but it was only a minor inconvenience.

"The truth." Her voice was almost lost against the waves and the wind, but she stopped, knee deep in the water and turned back to him. "Despite what you might think, those long silences don't actually make you look smart."

The urge to argue that point rose up and smothered itself in the space of the wave that crashed against his shins. The water had begun to seep up the fabric of Kagura's robes, soaking her almost to her hips. The salt would leave a stain, but the hot summer sun would dry her quickly enough once she left the water. He rolled her words over in his head, trying to find a good enough answer and finding none.

"What brought this up?"

She shrugged. "Just wishful thinking, maybe."

He wanted to see her face, but she turned around then―

"We could have made a good team, you know?" She grinned, mischievous. "Not that we don't now, but it ain't the same, anyone coming after us now is usually just after you, and that ain't much fun."

She knelt down and dipped her fingers into the water, when she stood up she flicked the excess water towards his face. He didn't flinch and let the droplets splatter against the fron of his armor..

"Besides," she sighed and looked away, "would have been nice to know what it felt like to be protected."

That hurt. Like a needle digging into his ribs.

"Are you not now?"

Kagura glanced at him with a wistful smile, and the needle dug in a little deeper. He thought that he'd made it clear― "Like I said, it ain't the same."

If she wanted an apology he'd never speak the words, even now he felt them shriveling on his tongue. He'd been in the right to deny her when she'd first come to him, and he couldn't fault himself for the decisions he'd made then. He could only do better by her now.

If she wanted his protection, she already had it. If she wanted his remorse she had that, too.

But now that she'd said it he found his mind wandering, towards what could have been if he'd been better, smarter, kinder… Would their relationship have been the same? If he'd taken those jewel shards she'd offered him that first night, would she have suffered the same way? Would he have protected her as fiercely as Inuyasha had always protected his woman? Would they have made better use of their time, or would he have kept himself from indulging in whims of the flesh… Would he have been able to save her, that day in the meadow, when she'd smiled at him so genuinely and broken his heart all in one look―

A few feet away from him, Kagura scoffed. He looked up, and she was rolling her eyes. As much as that smile had broken him once, he much preferred the irritation on her face now. Indicative of the life she'd regained… and the one they'd made together.

"Don't look so serious, I was just thinking," she said, kicking water in his direction. "I ain't mad, I'm happy with what we've got now."

Sesshoumaru consoled himself with that, and followed after her.