"So what do I want to say here?" Dawn held up two different dresses, glancing back and forth between them and wrinkling her forehead into a frown as she did so. Her sister sat on the bed and watched as she went through her various clothing items, holding each one up for inspection.

Buffy was glad that Dawn had asked her for advice on what to wear for her upcoming date with Richie. Despite her misgivings about it, she was extremely grateful that Dawn had not taken it to heart and cut her out of her life completely. She had claimed it was because Buffy's fashions sense was better than hers, but Buffy knew it was because Dawn finally considered her a friend as well as a sister. It had been a long complicated road, but they were finally beginning to understand one another on a more adult level and Buffy was thankful for that.

Watching Dawn trying on clothes for her date also gave Buffy a sharp pang of nostalgia as she remembered how she, Xander and Willow had done the very same thing once upon a time when Buffy had a date with the tasty and mysterious Owen back when she had first moved to Sunnydale. All she had wanted then was a normal life, and Owen had been a normal guy, perfect at the time for what Buffy thought she wanted. Then he saw what her life was like as a slayer and she knew it just wasn't possible. It was probably the first concrete proof to her that she would never be like normal girls and at the time that had saddened her greatly. Now, it was different. She was older, harder, wiser. She knew that being the slayer was neither something she could ignore or deny and yet Dawn still had that chance. She could be what Buffy never could if she truly wanted to. And yet, here she was, sitting on her sister's bed and helping her pick out her clothing for a date with a man who would never die unless his head was cut off with a sword.

She hated irony some times.

She had wanted to spare Dawn that lesson on growing up and she desperately hoped Richie would not be an experience like Owen. She hoped it would work.

"Hello? Earth to Buffy!" Dawn waved a hand in front of her face and held up the two dresses. "I was asking you a question."

"Sorry Dawnie, I was elsewhere." Buffy apologized with a small smile. She looked at the two dresses. "Well, the first one says shy and cute, while the second one says….never mind what the second one says, you're not wearing that thing out in public until you're at least twenty one!"

Standing up, she snatched the short red dress that Dawn held in her hand and realized it looked disturbingly familiar.

"Wait a minute this is…"

"Yours," Dawn said sheepishly. "I thought maybe I could borrow it? I mean, you have such wonderful taste in clothes…"

"Don't even try it." She shot back. "This dress is way too old for you." She suddenly more than ever understood why Xander had wanted her to wear the parka and ski cap on her date with Owen. The idea of sending her little sister out on a date with a guy who's actual age bordered on thirty was not one that she relished…especially not after seeing the clothes Dawn wanted to pick from.

She wished more than ever that Willow and Xander were here with her. She desperately wanted to go back to that place, that innocent time when she had raided her closet to pick out the perfect outfit to impress a boy she liked. She missed her friends and the companionship they had offered and realized that she and Dawn were really all each other had now. Dawn's friends at school, however nice, could never understand the life they led. She couldn't talk to Methos…not with things the way they were and Xander…well she didn't know if he would ever be their Xander again. It was her and Dawnie now, and Buffy vowed not to let her down.

"Why don't you wear the purple one," she suggested, heading over to her closet and picking out a flirty purple dress that was pretty without being too suggestive. Dawn considered it.

"I don't know…" she looked it over. "It's a little too casual y'know? I want this to be…special."

"I know Dawnie," Buffy said with a sigh. She glanced once more at her red dress and grimaced. "I just don't want it to be too special, you know what I mean?"

"Don't worry Buffy I'm not going to do anything you wouldn't….wait, maybe that's a bad promise for me to make." She grinned at her sister as Buffy glared back in mock annoyance.

"Very funny." She sat down on the bed and stared at her. "You're just so grown up now. I forget sometimes that you're not that annoying little kid that used to follow me out on patrol or listen to my phone calls. You're almost a woman."

"Ewww, now you're starting to sound like mom." Dawn wrinkled her nose at the 'mushy moment' and Buffy smiled.

"That's a compliment." She sighed. "I miss her so much. I wish she could see you. I mean, this is kinda your first date."

"Not true," Dawn protested. "I went out with that guy the year before last at Halloween…"

"Yea, you snuck out and he turned out to be a vampire." Buffy reminded her. "He doesn't really count."

"I guess you're right." Dawn admitted. "But it's not like its some random guy. It's Richie. I know him. You know him. I'm comfortable with him. If this is really a 'first date', shouldn't I be all freaked out and nervous?"

"You've just gone through every article of clothing you own for tomorrow." Buffy said wryly. Dawn blushed.

"Yea, but that's just cause I want him to think I'm pretty." She sighed and sat down on the bed. "I'm not nervous about HIM. At least, I don't think I am."

"It's OK to be nervous." Buffy assured her. "Just because you two make really good friends, doesn't mean the transition to dating will be easy. It's a big step. It's not one to make lightly."

"That why you've been avoiding Adam ever since he kissed you at Joe's?" Dawn asked her. Buffy looked away, not wanting to discuss it.

"Hey, let's keep this about your date OK? My life is complicated."

"I'm going out with a guy who lives forever tomorrow." Dawn shot back. "I think our complication levels are about equal here. And how come we can talk about my love life, but I can't bring up yours?"

"Because I don't have one." Buffy said matter-of-factly. Secretly she enjoyed that Dawn felt comfortable talking to her about this, but right now she didn't want to deal with the complicated, but delicious package that was Methos. "Adam and I are just friends."

"He kissed you Buffy, I saw it." Dawn persisted. "And you kissed him back. Why won't you give him a chance?"

"I…" she sighed, knowing that getting out of the conversation with quite dignity was officially out of the question. "I care about him, I just…I don't know if it's enough."

"If what's enough?" She fixed her gaze on her sister, her eyes awash with innocent confusion. Buffy longed for that simplicity. "I mean, what's so hard about it? He's cute…he's got an accent which lets face it is totally yummy. He's into you. Where's the problem?"

"I…" She trailed off, unsure of how to explain it. "I just don't know if I can be the person he wants me to be. I've failed so many times Dawn."

"Is this about Spike?"

Buffy was shocked at her sister's perceptiveness, but didn't answer right away. She didn't have to. Her sister got it.

"Look Buff…I know you cared about Spike. He knew it too."

"Not the way he wanted me to." Buffy said, swallowing the lump in her throat that now threatened itself. "Not the way I should have. I could have told him I cared about him at any time, but I…I was scared. Scared of so much and then he died and I…I tried to tell him….I tried to love him and he didn't believe me. I couldn't even give him that when he died."

"Did you love him?" Dawn asked. It was a simple question, but the answer couldn't have been more complicated.

"I think so." She whispered sadly. "But not the way he wanted. Not the way I loved Angel. What happens if I can't give that to Adam? If he never really believes that I…"

"You can't live on what-if's." Dawn said firmly. "You'll always miss out. Besides, of all the guys you've known…I think Adam really understands you. Give him a chance. Maybe he'll surprise you."

"Can we change the subject here?" Buffy asked, not wanting to think about Methos or his feelings for her at the moment. "Why don't you go with the pink dress?"

"The one you said looks shy and cute?" Dawn picked it up and looked it over once more. "You don't think it's a little too innocent?"

"I don't think anything is too innocent." Buffy joked. "But seriously, Richie will like it. You don't have to worry about him thinking you're pretty Dawn. He asked you out cause he likes you…which means he thinks you're pretty. The guy came to Italy just to be near you. You could wear a burlap sack and he'd still want to go out with you."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Dawn joked. "If I went all covered up in a burlap sack."

"Would I ever." Buffy said with a laugh. "But I know that's not gonna happen. The pink one. Trust me on this."

"Thanks Buffy," Dawn said with a warm smile. "Seriously. I really appreciate it."

"Hey no worries. While you're out on a date tomorrow, I will be wandering around grave yards looking for a slayer that probably doesn't even know what she is. One of us should be having a good time."

"Still getting nowhere huh?" Dawn's tone was sympathetic.

"I don't know what to do." Buffy admitted. "Willow's been trying to dig up something more on this girl, but with only her name to go on…"

"You'll find her." Dawn said with perfect confidence. "Slayers you're good at…men on the other hand…"

"No more!" Buffy insisted. "C'mon, let's go see if we can coax Xander into having dinner with us. He could use the company."

"OK, but this isn't over." Dawn warned. Buffy sighed as they left the room, knowing her sister's words were truer than she thought. Eventually she would have to deal with her issues. Tonight however, was not that night.