Kay: Hey Darjeeling, what the hell's going on in there?
Darjeeling: Kay, everything's fine. The patient is just resting.
Kay: Doesn't sound like she's resting.
Darjeeling: That's not Katyusha, that's our new arrival.
Baby Alien: Blarrrrrrg.
Darjeeling: He's got a lot of energy since his first feeding.
Kay: Katyusha... fed... the baby? Gross.
Darjeeling: Actually, Miho was kind enough to donate some blood. You know what they say, it takes a village.
Kay: How'd you get she to agree to that?
Darjeeling: It's amazing what Miho will do if you promise him a cookie and a glass of orange juice.
Baby Alien: Blarg honk, honk!
Kay: He hates needles.
Darjeeling: No needles; it turns out if you just expose some bare skin, the little guy just digs right in!
Miho emerges behind Darjeeling
Darjeeling: It's like a miracle to see nature at work.
Miho: I feel dizzy!
Kay: Um, is she gonna be okay?
Darjeeling: Katyusha's kid drank half a gallon in one go. Isn't that cool? I think she's gonna be a linebacker. Or a vampire. Or a vampire linebacker! That'd be crazy.
Miho: (looking around randomly) Oooooh...
Darjeeling: Anyway blood is pretty important, so Miho is bound to have some side effects like dizziness, or nausea, or sensitivity to light-
Miho: I think I'm going to stop standing up now.
Miho collapses in a heap
Darjeeling: Or passing out.
Miho: Kay if I die I want you to have my orange juice.
Baby Alien: Blargblargblargblargblargblarg!
Kay: How can Katyusha sleep with all that racket?
Darjeeling: Sleeping? She's not sleeping... She's in a coma.
Kay: Alright, that's it. Get out of the way Darjeeling. I'll take care o' this.
Miho: I can't feel my torso.
Darjeeling: I don't think so. A newborn is really susceptible to infection, and disease. And cuddling. I only wanna expose it to as few people as possible.
Kay: Darjeeling, don't worry, I'm not gonna give it a cold. I'm just gonna go in there, step on its neck and shoot it in the head. Because that's how I roll.
Darjeeling: Well now you're definitely not coming in. And I think we're gonna send back your shower gift too.
Miho: I'm still laying here. Why won't anyone help me.
Kay: I tell you what - I promise to wash my hands before I destroy the abomination of nature, okay?
Darjeeling: Sorry.
Kay: Darjeeling - Seriously, you can't keep me from going inside my own base.
Darjeeling: Kay, don't make me pull rank on you.
Kay: Rank? What the fuck- I outrank- you don't outrank me, I'm a Captain!
Darjeeling: No, you're a Private with a dead Captain. The last time I checked, that makes you a Private. With a dead Captain.
Miho: My body... is trying to die.
Kay: W-okay fine, then we're both Privates, you don't outrank me.
Darjeeling: No, I'm Medical Super-Private, First Class.
Kay: That's not a real rank.
Darjeeling: Yes it is.
Miho: Since when?
Darjeeling: Uh, since I sent them a letter every day for four years requesting that promotion.
Baby Alien: Harrgh!
Kay: They promoted you for that!? You haven't even used your weapon!
Darjeeling: Leadership isn't about firing bullets and stabbing people Kay, leadership is about being able to tell others to fire bullets and stab people.
Miho: If I've been bitten, does that mean I'm going to turn in to one of them?
Kay: Shut up Miho.
Miho: Blaaaaaaaaaa-
Kay: Shut up Miho.
Miho: -aaaaarg. Oh no, don't let me turn.
The sound of something falling heavily to the ground is heard. The ground shakes
Kay: The hell was that!?
Miho: I didn't feel anything.
Kay: I'll be right back- don't feed any more of our soldiers to the Alien.
Kay runs off
Darjeeling: Okay, but I can't make any promises.
Miho: Don't leave me with the horrible doctor.
Darjeeling: Oh shut up Caboose.
Miho: Now she's cursing at me.