Jaspers pov

Her wailing overwhelmed me. I had forgotten what it could be like being around her. With the intensity of her presence, she tended to affect everything in her vicinity. I was forced to leave the home. Alice wasn't speaking to me. I admitted the truth to her. I told her how I felt about Fate... Destina. Regardless, I will be faithful to my wife.

My Alice. She had been the saving grace of my life. Once she entered, It felt like the sun had finally risen. The darkness had begun to fade, my hands seemed less covered in blood. But still it lurks. The shroud of darkness clinging to my soul. I will not be tempted by her. It's wrong! she can't help herself. Self-sabotaging her happiness.

Fate. So much of her seems fractured. Shards of herself that she killed to 'protect' herself. The lines she crossed, the bridges burned, the heads collected, all for the sake of power. Even now, she can't help herself. She must consume everything that makes her humane.

It's my fault! Even before I condemned her she had been vengeful. Her life had not been easy. Her mother passed when she was at such a young age, thirteen. For many years she used the knowledge her mother instilled to survive. She sold potions and spells for townsfolk. Even then she only made enough for a meager living. She had to keep hidden, the catholic hold had placed her in a dangerous situation. As a witch, if she had been found out about she would be hung.

She worked out of a brothel. She protected them from harm. The women under her protection were magically spelled with charms and ornaments that shrouded them from abusers and the law. The Madam of the house paid her a stipend for her services. Her charms didn't work against Maria. We sensed her! Her scent had drawn me in, the sickly sweet scent of citrus. Like a sweet cocktail, my mother would have enjoyed it during a summer afternoon. We grew oranges and many other fruits on the plantation in which she would make a large pitcher of homemade wine, orange white wine after harvest.

I couldn't contain my desire to bleed her dry! That was until I saw her. My eyes fell onto her and I knew then that I couldn't kill her. I needed her to be mine! I was wrong! I unknowingly created the most violent creature on this planet. I've yet to run into anything like her. My greed turned her heart black as coal. She was vengeful, but for good reason, anyone that ever got her ire had either deserved it or she had been paid to make their lives hell. After? It didn't matter who you were, she would fly off the rail and rip your intestines out and wear them as a hat. Now? She's a shell. She eviscerated the innocence inside her, slowly eating her soul away until she submitted under the years of abuse.

Now in some desperate attempt to gain back any semblance of control she thinks fighting for the very thing that's killing her will make it better. Like that isn't the definition of insanity! Her sense of identity is so deeply rooted in control that she can't see that she's hurting herself. How had I not seen it? How could I have missed the scared child behind the lies?

My wife... ex! How could I have not seen the wounds? She spent so much time healing mine. Even then she could be so sweet and kind. It was like someone else lived inside her body fighting to live. Is she still there?"

Over time I convinced myself that she had never loved me. She enjoyed my love for her. She reveled in my submission to her charms. That I kissed the earth she walked on. She brought out the desire to raise hell inside me. Set free the demon that needed to destroy everything in its sight. To disregard every rule Luther beat into me. Together we had been the perfect storm! That's why I had to tell her the truth. Alice. She needed to know! Otherwise, I'd allow the whisper of that snake back into my mind. I'm weak. I can't hurt her. If I must I'll leave the home until Fate leaves.

I ended at Bella's home. Just watching. Riley wasn't likely to return but it couldn't hurt to stake out Incase he or any other newborn makes that grave mistake. She peered out her window and caught sight of me. She disappeared from view, I could hear her soft padded footsteps make their way to the front door. She had on Edwards jacket over her old worn ratty t-shirt, black sweat pants that had paint stains on the thigh, and pink Muppet Animal house slippers.

"I told Edward I wanted to be alone."

"I'm only here to ensure that if any newborns get the bright idea of returning they can be properly disposed of."

"I never did thank you for your vote."

"I meant it, it would be wonderful to not want to kill you all the time."

"I'm sorry." she flushed, her emotions were always erratic. Bella was ridden with anxiety.

"No, I apologize. I shouldn't take my emotions out on you."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I wouldn't know where to begin. "

"It's about her, isn't it? Everyone seems to be in such a stink about Fate. She seems genuine about her intentions."

"She is."

"So why is everyone freaking out? Edward has been increasingly more overbearing than ever. It's worse than when I see Jacob... "

"You witnessed it and you still don't understand. How are you not afraid of us? Of her? Of me!"

"I am! You all judge me like I have no choice! Even if I wanted to walk away, I can't!"

"I know, I'm sorry we have condemned you to this existence."

"Don't be, I wanted it. I just wish things were under better circumstances. I wish I got to do more things before. I'll have no choice but to leave all of this behind. My family. Charlie... I'm worried about him."

"Are you prepared for what's to come?"

"No. Are you?"

"Yes. No? For once I don't have an answer. "

"You loved her didn't you?" Bella pried further clearly seeking information about Fate.

"Yes."

"Is Alice not your mate?"

"I don't know. I'm hers, I do know that. That's all that matters to me."

"So it's possible to fall out of love with your mate."

"Second-guessing your choices?"

"No. I just don't understand why it's so important for us to get married. Why such a rush."

"You have to remember. For you, it's only been a year. For him, it's been over a hundred. "

"A hundred years and no guarantees. Doesn't seem all that worth the wait."

"Take it from someone that has lived through it. Being mates is not an easy decision. You are binding yourself to another person. Don't take this lightly! "

"I'm not. Besides, it's the only way to get what I want."

"To be undead. To roam this land for eternity?"

"Yes."

Bella walked away from the conversation. She closed the front door and padded her way back into the home. By tomorrow she would inevitably get her answer. We will either win and she will get her chance at eternity, or her life will be cut short. Around three am Edward arrived. He didn't seem shocked to see me. He slowed his pace until he reached my side.

"Thank you for watching after her, you can head on back if you like."

"I'd rather not. It's stuffy at home."

"Fates asleep now."

"Alice is still wide awake."

"Yeah... she's, not happy. She moved your things into your office."

"I lied to her. I'm lucky that's all she's done."

"Bella is enamored with her. Couldn't stop talking about how 'cool' Fate was. There's really no way to kill her?"

"There is, but it's only temporary. Burying her alive. There's no other way known to my knowledge. She utilizes a catacomb in her kingdom, buried enemies instead of corpses. In her twisted mind, she views that a mercy because they can earn their way back. Why do you ask?"

"I don't trust her. She's too..."

"Different? That's your instincts recognizing a predator. "

"You say that so calmly."

"How else should I speak about her? Get loud? Angry? I refuse to feed into her anymore."

"You keep talking about her like she's a demon."

"She might be. Regardless, you were right. We will need her to make this work properly. "

"Alice has foreseen an outcome. She won't speak about it, I tried reading her mind and was met with an endless string of nonsensical words."

"It's probably best if we don't know. Don't want to change the future. Are you staying?"

"No. Bella is upset with me."

"She mentioned that."

"You talked?"

"About Destina. She asked me questions about her."

"I see. Wolves and Vampires don't seem to be enough to fill her curiosity."

"It's not her fault, Bella is falling prey to what we all are. Fate. All of you have piqued interests when it comes to her. You and your obsession with protecting Bella, Alice, and the notion of me leaving her for Fate. Carlisle and his medical curiosity, he has yet to fully understand what we are, now he has to ponder what she is. Emmet and Rosalie seem to be the only ones comfortable with her. I simply want to go back before I knew. "

"Knew what?"

"Her. Knew who she was. It was much easier to hate her then. She was just a shadow of my past. Now? I can't even look at her the same. Her tears made my body ache. I made her. I created that... whatever she is. "

"The word you're looking for is guilt. You feel guilty."

"Stay out of my head."

"Not like I can control it."

"Yes. Guilt. I feel guilty. I feel resentment. Happiness. Shame. Lust. Rage! I feel it all. She's alive.

Regardless of all the dirt, I'm thankful she's alive. I loved her. I never wanted her ... gone. Watching Maria kill my wife and not retaliate had left me empty. I believed she had been gone from this plane of existence. Now that she's here, I want nothing more than for her to disappear. She can't just walk back into my life like nothing ever happened.

I was no better than my father, than her father! I stole her humanity from her. I stole her chance of freedom! She tried at first you know, to resist the call of the blood. She didn't feast for an entire year, she only fed on animals. Watching her take down full-grown Jaguars and bears, biting into them ripping flesh from their bones. Something changed. I still don't know why she turned. She had been kind and loving. Then nothing, just pure darkness. "

"Have you asked her?"

"No!"

"Maybe you should."

"Why should I? So she can fill my head with more lies?" No thank you. I'll get my answers one way or another."

"How much had she lied about."

"Everything! Everything I had ever known about that woman has been a complete fabrication. We could have had. It doesn't matter, excuse me."

The emotions had begun to threaten my ability to remain calm. It wouldn't do for me to lose control with Bella nearby. The last time had been too close for my liking. I'm not quite sure how Edward can maintain his composure around her.

I have become accustomed to the scent of her. She is around all the time despite the implications, she won't have much longer now. The Volturi has instigated the urgency of war. Threatened Victoria with death if she doesn't attack and succeed at ending us.

This wasn't my first encounter with them, nor Fates. The memories have been behind my eyes with no escape since she's been here. Everything must come into question. Long ago Aro himself had seen her. He witnessed her talent and tried to claim her as a member of his guard. The death squad sent to claim her never made it back.

Caius makes up for the lack of a gift by being the most ruthless. His favorite pastime had been participating in the elimination of newborn armies. He led rampages all across the world decimating droves of our kind. He had been the reason Maria's mate had been killed. Long before she built up her army, her mate Leon had been a casualty. She took the rest of those that survived and built what Fate carefully and masterfully took out from underneath her.

In retaliation for the death of their soldiers, Caius issued an assault. He led a party of thirty members of the guard into Maria's territory. The goal was to destroy the army and drag Fate back to Volterra. I was within an inch of death, Caius and I had been locked into a battle when he caught me in his arms. She had been my saving grace. Fate ended the battle by controlling every last member of his army. She held them under her control using her gifts to manipulate them. Dull their senses until they had no choice but to submit. Once Caius agreed to pack it up and leave she released them from her mind control.

That was when it started. I had tried to court her but she paid me no mind after she was bitten. But that night started it all. From then on we were inseparable and incredibly dangerous if crossed. That night had been the first time I tasted her flesh. She had saved me, and I had ruined her.

The house was dead silent once I walked in. Rosalie and Emmet were curled up on the couch watching some movie their eyes followed me. Carlisle pointed his head in the direction of the stairs. I was meant to follow him. My relationship with my siblings is quite intricate. I loved them. The experience of family had been foreign to me. My biological family didn't get along outside pretending in front of white racists. Pretending that we were superior. That we weren't extremely vile with tickets straight to the depths of hell. Carlisle was more like a father than Luther had ever been. Accepting of who I was and everything that came with me. We entered his office and I sat down in the chair in front of his desk.

"I wanted to sincerely apologize. I should have listened to you, instead, I allowed my curiosity to override my judgment. If my decision has complicated anything I'd like to fix it."

"Thank you. Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything that can be done. The cards have already fallen."

"Edward has informed me of his concerns with her presence in our home let alone our territory. Would you like me to revoke her privileges?"

"No! That's unnecessary and quite possibly the worst thing you could do. I've made my feelings known to Destina. She will be leaving once this is all done with."

"Alice... she's expressed her desire to leave. I'm sorry son."

"That won't be necessary either. I'll speak to her privately but before I ever allow my choices to make her any more uncomfortable I will leave. She doesn't deserve to lose her family. I was the one that lied."

"Please try and patch things up. I'd hate to lose either of my children, especially because of something I've done."

After sitting in the chair numbly I rose from my seat and left the room. The knowledge of Alice wanting to leave hadn't been unexpected. The emotional blow hadn't hit yet. I had ruined her like I ruined you. She spent all her time trying to scrape the blood from my hands that she too hadn't realized I was a lost cause. Just as you had. I couldn't help myself, I opened the door to Carlisle and Esme's room. My eyes had fallen across your sleeping face once more. This time I didn't feel resentment towards you but deep sorrow. Before your arrival I hadn't thought of you in years.

I had forced myself to forget your existence. Before Alice, I had been numb to everything. Numb to life. Broken further than I could have anticipated. And after Alice I convinced myself you had been the monster. That you had been the romantic manifestation of my issues with my father. Low and behold, I had been yours. What will I be with her gone from me. My dear Alice, I never meant to ruin you too!