Sunlight beamed into the poolhouse through the gaps between the curtains. The clock on the side of the bed read 8:26. Clothes lay scattered around the room, across every free surface and under any piece of furniture.

Ryan shifted ever so slightly, his muscles seeming to bunch in his back. Man was he sore, after the night he had had, he wasn't surprised and it wasn't that painful. A very satisfying type of sore. Sprawled across his body lay a VERY scantily-clad Marissa. He smiled down at her, her head resting in the nook of his shoulder, her body just slightly exposed. He shifted so that he could pull the blanket up a bit; to keep her warm because he remembered that she always seemed to be cold.

As soon as he moved, she seemed to awaken, like she sensed him, even in sleep.

"Mmm, good morning." She rubbed her eyes with an unsteady hand. "It is morning right?"

Ryan smiled at her. "Yes, that it is. Although the hours did kinda meld into one blur last night… At one point I don't think I knew my name."

It was Marissa's turn to smile as her cheeks turned a little pink. "I don't know what to say to that. But, I'm so glad that this is finally over, I mean it's not over we still have…"

"Sh… shhh… we both know what we still need to do but let's not rush, we have alllllllllllll day… maybe all night…" Marissa slapped at his arm. "Oh you wanna get started right now?" His lips met hers, they were connected, they understood each other perfectly, nothing could get in the way…

"Hey Ryan, I was thinking…OH DEAR JESUS AND MOSES!" Seth nearly walked into the door when he spun so fast. "Okay.. so I didn't expect that one, okay whoa, my stomach is slightly akin to how I feel when I've been on the tilt'a'whirl one too many times. I'm like a deer caught in the headlights… haha headlights get it? Right okay..I didn't mean to… Oh hey you guys are back together that's great."

Ryan's face was still staring at Seth, as he stopped talking his gaze whipped away to look at Marissa's face. She clearly was the deer caught in the headlights. He was going to have to suck it up here.

"Oh, uh, yeah…Maybe you could…."

"Right, right, yes I was just leaving." And with that Seth closed the door and left.

A silence of about a minute passed with both of them staring at the door. Finally, Marissa's thoughts exploded out.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! That was bad, possibly the most embarrassing thing I've ever experienced."

Ryan smiled. "Well I certainly wasn't expecting that this morning. And sadly I don't think we can pick up where we left off before that interruption so…" Marissa just glared at him. "Why don't I go grab some bagels and bring them in, you can just… throw some things on, or gather them up, whatever…I'll be right back."

Ryan left the poolhouse in just his boxers and made it into the kitchen. Seth sat at the counter, eating some cereal. "So… wow." He said.

"I don't wanna talk about it, especially after that." Ryan said back.

"Dude… whatever your plan was… awesome." Ryan shoved him.

"Shut up Seth!" But he couldn't help walking out with a slight smirk on his face as he made his way back to the poolhouse. When he walked in, he discovered Marissa was where he had left her.

"Um? Not ready to get up yet?"

"No, I can't find my… well you know… I have my pants and my shirt but…"

"Oh, I think we tossed them behind the plant, I'm not sure though," He smiled at her, pleased she was where he had left her. "We'll eat and I can help you find them, don't worry no one will come in now," And with that he sat down beside her and they both attacked the bagels, both pretty much starving from all the exertion of the night before.

"Mmmmm, that was good but I think I need a shower." Marissa said, after they had finished. "Could you look around for my underwear while I do?" She blushed.

"Hmm, I have a better idea, why don't I help you…in the shower?" They both laughed as he picked her up and headed for the door.

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An hour later, they both were clean, dressed and ready to start the day. Marissa was wearing Ryan's clothes since she didn't want to wear the same clothes as the day before, one of the items was slightly ripped. Ryan's mind was on one thing and it wasn't Trey. He didn't know how to bring up Trey or where they would talk so he was simply waiting for Marissa to do it. Then he figured she probably wouldn't want to be the initiator, so he decided it was up to him.

"Hey…Marissa, where did you want to, um… talk about this?" Marissa turned to him as he spoke, relieved that Ryan had brought it up, she wanted to make sure he hadn't tried to forget about it.

"Well, I don't know… it could get pretty messy, I don't want to taint the beach cuz we've had so many special memories there but it needs to be an important place I think…"

"How about right here? We've been through good and bad here but we've always overcome it…. Last night was the start, now let's finish it right here, together." Ryan took her hand in his and kissed it.

Smiling so happily because of Ryan's renewed understanding, she kissed him lightly. "Okay, so… how do you want to start?"

"Well, I don't know, but one thing I do know is that before we start, we need to make a promise. What happened with Trey was a mess, and I don't want to hurt you and I know the same goes for you. So let's just say what needs to be said but know that no matter what gets said, however hurtful, I love you now and it won't change that."

"Ryan, it would never change it for me, you were so great but I…"

"Wait," He said, "Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, let's do this right… start at the beginning, we don't need to recap everything, we both know what happened but let's talk about how we felt I guess, since we don't really know about that stuff. Or at least, I don't know how you felt."

"Hey, no blame." Marissa said, stroking his cheek. "Okay, I guess I'll start since I asked for this. When Trey first got here, I was so happy. Finally things would be looking better for you. You wouldn't feel alone, I mean you've always had me and the Cohen's but someone from your family was here. I wanted that to work for you, so I pushed you together, hoping it would work."

"It wasn't like that, I thought I needed Trey, needed something else, to make this home. There was something I was missing and I didn't know what. I was desperate to find what it was, I tracked him to Chino numerous times, hoping to find it but what I found was so simple it made me an idiot. I was searching for something that I had right in front of me. You. Newport was never the same once we broke up. I should have realized that, let Trey leave…"

"Don't." Marissa said through tears, "Don't blame yourself for that, I made you, I pleaded for you to give him a chance…"

"But I KNEW Trey, I shouldn't have let him get through that easily!" Ryan shouted. A moment passed in silence. "I'm not mad at you, I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated…"

"No, it's okay, we need to get this kind of stuff out, no matter what. But really, I made it possible by giving him the money, I guess I've regretted that decision ever since."

Ryan glanced at her, realizing the hurt and blame Marissa had been living with ever since Trey had left. The accusatory feelings she must have felt every time she looked in the mirror. All he could do was hug her, so he did, holding on and knowing he never wanted to let go. "It's okay, cry, let it out, scream… I'm here." And she did. "Okay, we can stop if it's too…"

"No," Marissa's muffled voice said, "Let's get it all out in the open and we can move past, I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this twice."

Ryan put his hand underneath her chin and pulled her gaze up to his. "I know you are but we'll do it today anyway." He sighed. "I guess after all that, I went to Miami. If I had only known, I should have KNOWN…"

"You couldn't have, he was your brother. Please don't blame yourself for this. I keep thinking, maybe I said something, did something that made him think I wanted… that. Maybe all those things I did for him-- but really for you—maybe he thought those were come-ons. Did I make that…"

"Don't. Stop right there. It's not your fault. I was there and it was never your fault. What you did, you did because you have a nice heart, a big heart and you trust people. Trey used that trust and turned all those actions but don't let him taint you. Don't let yourself question what happened, you are you Marissa. Don't let him change that. He was my brother, I didn't think he would ever hurt you, touch you." I should have BEEN there, to hold you right after, to hurt him like he hurt you."

Marissa looked up at Ryan. He wasn't crying, he would never cry, she didn't think. But his eyes were watery, and she could tell he was struggling not to cry. It wasn't a comfort thing, she knew if he would cry in front of anyone, it would be her, but he didn't want to ever cry.

Ryan stared at Marissa. He couldn't believe the strength she had to get through everything she had, even without him. He hurt on the inside. He struggled with his tears. He couldn't cry, he wouldn't, he might not be able to control himself. He needed to be there for her.

"It's not your fault like I keep saying… it happened and even if you had stayed, maybe he would have chosen another night… it wouldn't have made a difference, he wanted to act on what he thought."

"Maybe but there might have been a difference. I need to know, would you have told me then if I was in Newport? Would you have ever told me? Trusted me enough? Look at me Marissa. Please. I don't get it. Why did it take Seth to tell me what happened?"

"I couldn't… how could I tell you that? How could I say everything that happened that night? Can you really blame me when you acted how you did? Or worse, what if you thought I was tarnished now, couldn't look at me… I didn't want to see disgust, maybe even pity. I wanted us to be the same… the same we always were."

"I.. I was so enraged that night. Murderously angry at Trey for what he'd done, angry at Seth for knowing before me, sad and confused that you hadn't trusted me enough… but never would I have thought that you were anything but beautiful, honest and strong. I still see it but I just wish somehow, we could have gone through this together. Why didn't I even suspect… I mean his head… the signs were there…"

"But he was your brother… your brother. If that was what came to your mind first than there would be bigger problems. And like I said Ryan, I couldn't tell you but I really wanted to. That night I left you, alone in the poolhouse, I wished that you had known, had been able to hold me and just tell me everything would be all right. But you couldn't because you didn't know."

"Oh… I wish I had been there too," He pulled her even closer, rested her tired body on his lap. "But that reminds me, about that night… Trey was at your house."

"What, how did you…? Oh no. You saw. That's why you were so… so questioning."

"I know, I shouldn't have jumped to any conclusion but… he was there, you were there and when I went down to Chino to find him… he said…" Ryan hesitated but Marissa looked up expectantly. "Well, he said you came onto him… And I didn't know what to do…" Marissa looked completely shocked.

"He didn't! Oh my god, when was that? How could he even think? But wait why didn't you ever ask me… accuse me?"

"I… had a chance to talk it over, think it through… with… Theresa, actually. She showed me that I loved you and you would always love me. And I knew that. I just needed someone to make me realize how much. Anyways, then I showed up at prom 'just in time', so I guess it went okay."

"Wow, Theresa huh? I'm glad though," She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him… I would never, ever cheat on you."

"Yeah, same. In a way it was perfect, I needed someone to point out what an ass Trey was and Theresa did it well."

"Yeah, and then…"

"And then you told Summer right? Who told Seth and he told me. I only thought of killing him, hurting him. I wanted to come to you, but I couldn't, not then. All that I knew was Trey needed to pay,"

"When Seth called… I was so scared. I knew Trey was dangerous; I didn't want you to get hurt. When I got there and realized what was going on, I didn't know what to do. He was going to kill you and I couldn't watch him kill the one guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Never that, so I grabbed the gun and you know the rest."

Ryan stopped. 'The rest of her life'? He didn't know if Marissa knew what she had just said but he certainly did. And he knew he'd better say something or she would catch on to his silence.

"I love you, you know. I do. And I don't know if you know how much I appreciate what you did. I thought I was gone, I saw you… just for a second and I thought, at least I get to see my angel one last time before… But then I was awake, and I could move and breathe, I saw you again. Trey was on the floor and my thoughts were only to get to you. To hold you like I needed to before I went to Trey's. I just thought you should know that when faced with death, I felt blessed to take your face as the last thing I saw and memories of you with me…"

Marissa was crying, once again but she found a way to smile through it. "Ryan Atwood, life has thrown us every obstacle known to man, animal and comic character and we've gotten through it. I'll always love you."

They held each other, this was important. This one moment. They both knew. He rocked them both back and forth, their bonds of love strengthening within both of them.

"I know. But then that whole attorney mess pulled us apart again." Ryan finally said.

"Yes… and then I went and saw Trey. I knew what I had to do. But, I didn't know what I wanted, what I hoped to get from everything… he apologized but it wasn't enough. I don't know how I'll stop having nightmares, I don't know what to do!"

She shook within Ryan's arms and he held on tighter, fiercely hoping to hide the one tear that had escaped from his eye. He let go with one arm and quickly brushed it aside, Marissa noticed and said nothing, she just held on. The fact he could cry for her was enough, she didn't need to point it out. The sun was weakening on the horizon, the day was almost completely over but neither seemed to notice.

"I know." Ryan said after a longer silence. "I think talking about it has helped and if I need to sneak into your room every single night to hold you, I will, if it takes sitting up every night, we will but this won't last forever, I'm here now and I know what you need."

Marissa looked up at him. This was the Ryan she had always known was there, he just wasn't sure how to show it. Now he was and Marissa wasn't going to hesitate. She slowly kissed him, forcing them onto the bed, her on top of him. Assaulting his mouth with hers, they had gotten through it, she wanted to finish it off with one last promise. Their hearts were always one, now they had shared their souls, she wanted the last promise with their bodies.

As Ryan lay next to Marissa's sleeping form, his mind was thinking of one thing. All her life. She had said it, no one had ever expressed that type of emotion for him… now what would he do about it?