A/N Okay. Really sorry about the long period in between updates. I've been busy with a bunch of different things, enjoy this chapter and if I still have some interest from readers, I shall keep posting some chapters, I have an idea to get to, just want to make sure someone wants to read. PS I haven't magically found a way to own anything of the OC yet so, once again... I have no ties. Thanks.
Marissa whipped open her car door and quickly raced up the Cohen driveway. She would have pulled in but an ambulance was blocking her way. Oh God, she thought, oh god. Not Ryan. The entire way to the Cohen's she had been thinking of all the ways she would make up to Ryan, if he was okay. But Summer hadn't said what had happened, she just needed to know. The not knowing was what was going to kill her. She ran past the ambulance and caught sight of Summer.
"Oh my god Summer, where is he, what's going on? Oh my god, he has to be okay. Where is he I have to see him." Marissa pleaded as she hysterically ran up to her friend.
Summer wrapped both arms around Marissa, pulling her close and then releasing her quickly.
"He's okay. Well kind of, he nearly got hit by a car. When I called, I thought he had. He jumped out of the way so he didn't get hit. Someone called an ambulance though, so he got checked out, they took him to rest in the poolhouse and said he might have a mild concussion." Summer paused as she saw the relief whip through Marissa. She smiled a bit and continued. "But that's not all. Well, I don't know. It could be a coincidence but… the driver who almost hit Ryan, it was Johnny." Summer watched the shock register inside Marissa's eyes. "Look, it could be nothing but the police are talking to Johnny now." Marissa looked towards the Cohen kitchen where Summer signalled the interrogation was going on.
"That's so… I don't know what to think Sum. God, I was so scared I almost lost him. I can't. I have to tell him that. No matter what happens, Sum, I need him."
"I know you do, I'm so glad you know, why don't you go find…" Summer was interrupted as Johnny emerged from the Cohen house, followed by a few detectives, Seth, Sandy and Kirsten.
"Marissa… I don't know what to say, I didn't mean to…" Marissa walked right up to Johnny. She stared deep into his eyes as he started to offer his story. And as soon as he started her arm snaked out and slapped him right across the face.
"I don't want to hear it Johnny. I know what's been going on. I know what you feel. I don't know if you meant to kill him but I bet you didn't jump on the brake as fast as you could have. I can't even look at you right now. I don't think I ever want to again. You're so lucky I want to talk to Ryan so badly or I'd slap the hell out of you a little more." Her eyes flashed, emphasizing her point.
"Look, Marissa it was an accident." He stopped as she whirled around, preparing for an encore performance.
"Dude, why don't you just, you know leave. It's probably for the best, you know." Seth jumped in, leading Johnny away.
"Don't go too far young man, we're still not done asking you questions." The officer that spoke shook hands with Sandy and thanked Kirsten, then offered Johnny a ride home.
"Well, that was certainly exciting. How about we all get together and watch a movie?"
"Yeah, I suggest House of Flying Daggers again, I mean you can't deny the classics." Seth leaped forward trying to get to the house first.
"No, I don't think so Cohen," Summer grabbed his shirt, tugged and led the way into the house.
Marissa turned to Kirsten. "I think I'm going to go and find Ryan, you know. I have to, we have to talk."
"Okay, well you guys are welcome to join us, that is unless the three children don't kill each other trying to pick a movie," Kirsten replied as Sandy got into the argument about movies. His suggestion of a musical brought a collective groan from both Seth and Summer.
"Right, okay. Thanks." Marissa turned to go.
"He loves you, you love him. That's the easy part. The rest is hard and never easy but, it's worth it because what's the point if it's easy?" Kirsten turned and walked into the house. Marissa watched her go and then slowly made her way to the poolhouse.
The paramedics had left and there was one light on, beside the bed. She paused in the doorway, deciding if she should knock or just go in. Any other time she would rush in but they had a major fight, and as common as that was, this time felt different. Like for the first time, if the right words weren't chosen, this could break them apart. She had finally decided to knock when she saw Ryan's silhouette. He was taking his shirt off. God she wished she was on the other side of the door just then. She took a deep breath and told herself she could. She opened the door and stepped inside.
Ryan whirled around in surprise, causing pain rush forward in his head. His eyes rounded in mild surprise, then almost, acceptance, like he had known she would come. Marissa. Her presence sent shivers up his arms. He stood before her, wearing only shorts. He was bruised and felt more than a little woozy. He wasn't sure he was ready to face Marissa but there she was and he knew he couldn't send her away, no matter how much he might think he wanted to. They stood staring at each other. Neither moved.
"Hey." He finally managed to say. Marissa just stood staring at him. Something was weird. He didn't like the way she was looking, like she might drop. He started to get worried, he stepped forward. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"
She breathed in deeply and her breathing hitched, and her body shuddered but she didn't cry. She would not cry. "You almost died. Ryan. You almost died. I don't know what I would do. I can't stand this anymore, I thought, I don't know, that you would come to me, make it up to me. I had a whole romantic idea planned out in my head but… Summer called. She said to come, there was a problem or something. I didn't know what to expect. I thought I'd lost you. And all the rest didn't matter. We can wade through the rest of the stuff, just hold me and let me hold you." She stepped forward, the tears glistening in her eyes as she stretched her arms out for him. He wrapped both arms around her as her body shuddered and she cried. "I have lots to tell you, Ryan but for now, just, stay with me."
He held her tightly, everything she had said had been the same for him. He had seen the lights and one thing made sense: Marissa. His hand went up and down her back, caressing and soothing the tears out. Slowly, she pulled back from him and looked into his eyes. She didn't kiss him, not yet. She just stared at him. His hand came up almost unconsciously, wiping the tears off her face. She smiled a little and nuzzled into his hand.
She took a deep breath and prepared herself. "Look, I know I can be self-centred sometimes, I know that. We fight a lot. I know that too. They are connected, those two things. I don't know if I'd prefer not to fight, it makes us, us. I wish that it didn't hurt this much. But if it didn't would it feel as nice when we were together? I love you, Ryan. I can't lose you. No matter what I say, or no matter what gets in the way, if we fight," She paused and thought about it, "When we fight, no matter what happens, I want you to know, I'll be there. I know it sucks that it took me almost losing you to make me know that but I know it now and I will never ever doubt it again. I won't wait for you, I can't waste any time that we are given." She took a deep breath and reached out, took his hand and he kissed it. That gesture brought a bright smile to her face.
"Marissa, the car was there, I saw the lights, I thought that was it. At that one moment, I thought of one thing. You. I thought of how much an idiot I was that I'd lost the last little bit of time I had had with you. I thought of how much I loved you and how much time we would lose if that car hit me. And that brought me back. Made me move. I knew if I had any chance of seeing you I had to jump, so I did. I love you too. More than I knew. And it doesn't matter how we know it, we just do. Let's not forget it." He put one hand underneath her chin and directed her mouth to his.
She tasted like sadness and the tears she had cried lingered as he kissed her. He kissed her tears away. Pulled her closer, angled her neck and plundered her mouth. If he was drowning in her, he would die a happy man. Marissa felt Ryan's eagerness through his shorts and she smiled into his mouth. Oh God how much she had missed that. This. She wanted this. She pushed him onto the bed. He reached out for her but she lightly batted his hands away. "I'm just going to get out of these clothes. You stay there. Watch."
His eyes widened but didn't stray for one second. Slowly, tantalizingly slowly, she pulled her t-shirt over her head. His sneaky hand reached out but she once again pushed it away. "Look. Don't touch. Yet." He smiled wickedly. She slowly slid her jeans down, leaving her just in a bra and her panties. Ryan's smile was so wide; he looked like a cat who'd been given a lifetime supply of milk. "I forget how the rest goes. Why don't you help me, Mr. Atwood?"
Ryan's eyes were stuck on Marissa's body and he had to rip them away to glance at her eyes quickly to respond. "I'd be delighted." He snaked a hand behind her and pulled her down so she straddled him. He kissed her again, longer, their tongues meeting, intertwining. His hand moves up to her bra and paused at the back. "Wait a minute. I've been waiting awhile for this."
"You want to stop?" Marissa's voice nearly cracked and her eyes were narrowed.
"NO, no, no. I just think," He picked her up, fireman carry-style and walked to the door.
"What do you think you're doing? She struggled against him, arousing them both.
"Don't worry, I'm locking the door." He smiled another wicked grin and kissed her again, his one hand behind her back flicked open the clasp to her bra. Her arms were wrapped around his neck but she shifted to help get the bra off. "So beautiful," was all that he murmured to her. His hands, his mouth, attacked her chest. God, she loved him. He dropped her on the bed, and he took her to new places. They both knew that life was hard and that this part was the easiest. But sometimes, you had to do the easy to prepare for the hard.