Secrets in the Letters
Dear Spencer,
What more can I say other than I'm sorry? I told you that I wasn't easy to be with. I told you that your life would be hell if you got involved with me. I'm so extremely sorry for the childish antic I pulled last night at your house. Your mom was being totally rude to me, Spencer – and you didn't even stand up for me. It's pretty sad when you have to stand up for yourself. I know that it was mainly all my fault, but you cannot blame me for what I did. I'm sorry that I walked out on your family during their dinner and I'm sorry for the things I said… I shouldn't have said those kinds of words. But, your mom always seems to bring out the villain in me. Your brother wasn't helping, by the way. I know you didn't notice this, but he kept staring at me all through dinner and giving me those "Go to Hell" looks. Man, if looks could kill. Anyway, I hope that you take this apology into consideration… even if you don't take it to heart, at least take as a friendly way to say I'm sorry. But, answer me one thing: the look on your face told me that you kind of agreed with what your mom was saying about me – do you agree with her?
Dear Ashley,
Of course I don't agree with what my mom was saying! How could you even think that? I mean, do you honestly think I'm that low? Okay, maybe what happened was your fault, but – you're not alone in that boat. You were right, I should've stuck up for you. But, the things that were coming out of your mouth that night were really horrible and it made me feel… I don't know – little. It's like, all those things you said were what I wanted to say, but just couldn't. And, you shouldn't be sorry. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I just sat there like some coward with no "balls". Actually, I did notice the looks Glen was giving you, but – just like after you left, I didn't say anything about them. After you left, I went up to my room and cried myself to sleep. I was hurt. Not only by you, but by how embarrassed I was about my family. You should know that I had a long talk with both of them and I told them how wrong they were to say all that shit to you and that you are the nicest, most greatest person on this whole earth. My mom told me that she wanted all of us to go back to Ohio just for a few months. I told her that she'd be crazy if she took me away from you, but – if Paula wants it then Paula's going to get it. Now, I'm upstairs and my mom is like already packing. Don't worry, though. I'll talk to dad and try to get him to persuade her into letting us stay. I hope that you take my apology just as much as I took yours. I love you, Ash. I always have and I always will.
Spence,
I love you, too. I'm really glad that you're not as upset as I thought you were. Man, I had this whole horrible scene playing through my head the whole night waiting for your message. I'll go ahead and tell you about it. You and I were at this music hall and I was trying to tell you that I was so sorry and you just kept walking away from me and telling me to, "Go fuck off!" Yeah, you said fuck! Anyway, I really want to make that whole situation up to you. However and whatever you want… you've got it. Spencer, you can't go back to Ohio. Who else am I going to talk to down here when you're gone? That's right – no one! Spencer, you're my life. Honestly! Yes, do talk to your dad and try to get the devil-ette to reconsider this random visit. Whatever it takes… lie if you have to! I'm just kidding, Spence. Don't lie, it only makes it worse. Trust me, I should know. Anyway, write back when you get the chance and try extra hard to get this trip called off. I love you so much, Spencer.
Ashley,
I'm sorry, but the whole trip is still on. There was absolutely no way to make dad tell mom to call it off. I'm so sorry, Ash. And now my mom is telling us that we're leaving sometime this Thursday. Can you believe that? Today is Tuesday and I'm still grounded from… the other night. Yeah, I forgot to tell you that I got grounded for our little scene. She told me that I was being insensitive towards my family's feelings. How retarded, right? I mean, there she was telling you that you were this horrible girl with no boundaries and the only time you do a push-up is to get off the body of your one-night-stand. I'm sorry about her… she pisses me off so much and I just don't know how to handle it. But yeah, we're leaving this Thursday and I don't know if I'll get to say goodbye to you or not. So, if this is my last letter to you than I want to tell you that I love you with all my heart and I will be back and when I'm back, we will definitely spend the whole day together, okay? I love you so much, Ashley Davies. So much!
Spencer,
You're talking like it's the end of the world. I know I was saying that I can't live without you, but – a few months won't be so hard. Okay, I'm lying right now – of course it's going to be fucking hard! A few months… it's going to feel like a few years. This is exactly why I have problems… everyone always leaves me. But you, Spencer Carlin, you're coming back for me. I love you, too. I can't say that enough and each time I say it, it gets better and better. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you and I love you. Please pray for me while we have our separation. It's going to be extremely hard and I don't know if I'll be okay. But, don't worry about me… have fun and don't be afraid to call me every chance you get. I love you and yes, we will spend the whole day together once you're back and maybe even some of the night! Have fun on your "vacation". I'll see you when you get back. I'll be waiting… non-patiently!
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Okay, so – that definitely turned out not how I was expecting. It kind of sucks, but – review it and tell me what you thought of it! Please? Later…