Author's Note:Thanks to everyone reviewing and letting me know your thoughts for your patience! The story is far from over, but hopefully this chapter answers some of your questions. More to come!
He drifted through dreams that were memories, and memories that were dreams. In the end, he wasn't sure which was which, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what was true and what was not.
He remembered returning to the barracks from the mission on the green planet, confused and disoriented, and lashing out at his brothers. He didn't know why he fought them, but he remembered Atlantis and other brothers there who were closer than blood. That brother-ship had been earned, while these new brothers had just come to be. And he knew that it was deeply wrong.
He remembered when they had dragged him once again to the room with the glass box, pinned him down, and then things were settled in his mind again. He had woken in his cell, confused for only a moment, but more certain that this was where he really wanted to be.
And then it had happened again. And again.
He remembered a mission to another world, where they set traps for the Wraith and destroyed their ship, melting it to dust. He had wanted to kill the Wraith, but in the end, he tried dialing the Stargate back to another world and was stopped. He remembered the city of spires and the ships that sang to him when he flew them. And the black and red world that his brothers wanted to return to was not his.
Once more, they had dragged him back to the room with the glass box and held him down as the darkness took him. That time, he had heard once again the voice of a man who called himself Janus. He was told his destiny was to fight and conquer the Wraith, to utterly wipe them from the face of the galaxy and save mankind. But he knew that Janus thought he was someone else, and he tried to keep fighting until the blackness overtook him and he woke in his cell again, confused, but remembering his mission: to take Atlantis so they could destroy the Wraith and save everyone.
But he knew that the cost of winning that war would come at a terrible price. Because long ago, Atlantis had forsaken him and Janus.
And then he remembered finding his family on Atlantis. But there had been terrible conflict there, and blood was shed on all sides. And slowly, he remembered that the memories and the dreams were one and the same.
Atlantis was home. It was where his true family lived. And here, in the barracks, was a temporary family. One that needed him, but who terrified him at the same time.
And he remembered that if he could only speak to Janus, perhaps he could sort out the memories from the dreams. Perhaps they could find a way to combine forces against the Wraith. Perhaps they could seek forgiveness and come together with Atlantis to fight the enemy. Perhaps they could stop the coming war.
And maybe that was truly his destiny.
But then Janus spoke in his mind again and overcame every thought he had of peace between his brothers and his family on Atlantis. And he remembered the life from ages before, a life of war, conflict, and pride. A life where he lost everything he had ever loved. Where Atlantis had betrayed and forsaken him.
Janus reminded him of this, gently opening his mind to reality as he cut through the pain of the loss.
So he awoke the warrior Icarus.
Ronon protectively laid one hand on Sheppard's chest, the blaster aimed at Janus' heart over the Colonel's still body.
"Why did you do this to him?" he demanded.
"Without him we will not win against the Wraith," Janus answered, matter of factly.
"What makes you think this?" Teyla asked.
"He is my brother's son — my nephew. We have always known this. He has been fighting for us for a long time."
Tesla's brow creased in confusion. "Who do you think he is?"
Janus also looked slightly confused, but his smile hid his emotions well. "His name is Icarus. He is a great warrior, well-known among my people. He has led us to many victories against our enemies."
"His name is John Sheppard," Ronon snapped. "Who the hell is Icarus?"
"Icarus is my brother's son — my nephew," Janus repeated in the same tone as before.
Teyla shot a glance towards Ronon, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why did you do this to him?" she asked.
"Without him we will not win against the Wraith."
Ronon paused, looking at Teyla. He realized now what her look meant. Moving his hand from Sheppard's chest to a small piece of bone bead in his hair line, he flicked the tiny bead towards Janus and watched as the man didn't even flinch. His image flickered slightly as the bead harmlessly passed through him.
"Hologram," he grunted.
Teyla nodded. "I believe he is the Ancient that McKay spoke about. But he must no longer be living."
Janus patiently listened to them, his expression never changing.
"It took us a long time to find Icarus," he finally said. "We will not give him up easily."
Teyla turned to him, curious. "How did you find him?"
"I have modified many Stargates in our galaxy," Janus answered. "I hoped that he would travel through one of these one day and return to us, but it has taken many long years. He has changed and it has taken some time for him to remember who he is. My brothers on Atlantis have changed him."
"Because he isn't Icarus," Ronon muttered quietly. Teyla jabbed him with her elbow.
"I believe there is something wrong with your devices," the hologram added, indicating the glowing bracelet on Teyla's arm. "It does not appear to be connected to your nervous system. I can fix that for you. It will make you more efficient. The only problem is that you are not descended from the Ancients so this is not a priority for me."
"How do we remove the device from … Icarus?" Teyla asked, ignoring his comment.
"I cannot tell you that," Janus replied.
"Why not?"
"Because we need him to retake and command Atlantis. The device keeps him and the rest of the army strong. Atlantis changed him too much for him to remember who he was so he needed help, which this device provides."
"So you're brainwashing him," Ronon snapped.
Teyla pushed Ronon to the side, her diplomatic voice gentle. "Why do you need Atlantis?" she asked Janus. "It appears you have quite a strong army already. Why do you need the city?"
Janus smiled sadly. "We have a long history with Atlantis, Icarus and I. Long ago we were banished from the city, although we knew that it was the key to destroying the Wraith. Atlantis did not agree and I have never returned since. Icarus is our only hope as his connection to the city is still strong and he may be able to convince our people to follow the correct path. For now, we will continue with developing our army here. He understands that the soldiers I have created must be controlled with the device. It is only fair if their General has one as well, and I have added the component that keeps him separate from the influence of Atlantis so he can remember who he is."
"But he is clearly dependent on this device," Teyla insisted. "There is a flaw in the design. No soldier should be kept dependent on any drug in order to operate."
"You need to be sharp," Ronon added, trying to keep his temper in check. "Keep your natural instincts. He's not himself on this thing."
Janus tilted his head. "Our soldiers are stronger, faster, and smarter. We continue to work on finding a way to make them continuously so, and independent from the rest of the group mind. I am running perpetual experiments."
"That's what I was afraid of," Ronon muttered. "Damn Ancients and their stupid experiments."
"He may be stronger and faster, but he is not right in his mind," Teyla insisted. "If you want him to lead your army you need his mind to be strong. He is working under the influence of whatever drug you have pumped into his system. He is not the sharp warrior that you have envisioned."
"How can what you say be true?" Janus demanded, a bit of anger and pride flaring in his voice. "All I have done is reminded him of who he is."
"He has failed to take Atlantis," Teyla replied. "The John Sheppard — or Icarus, as you call him — that I know would not have failed. Even with superior strength and speed he was hindered purely by the fact that you have confused his loyalties. Give him a clear mission and a clear purpose, unhindered by these drugs, and you will have the perfect ally."
Janus' eyes narrowed. "Then we must continue the experiments," he answered. "There is only one answer. This army was bred to destroy the Wraith, and we will continue until our enemies have been wiped from the galaxy, with or without Icarus. I have created the perfect soldier. I only need to find the perfect General to lead them. If it is not Icarus then I will find another."
With that, the hologram flickered off.
Teyla did not wait and whirled towards Ronon. "We must act quickly. Help me get him on the floor."
Ronon eased Sheppard's limp body to the floor next to the bed, and Teyla motioned back towards the box.
"Lay down."
"What?"
"Your knee," she pointed out. "I saw how they operated the box in the beginning. I need your knee working so we can get out of here. We may be taking John back against his will and I need you working at one hundred percent."
"I can walk!" Ronon protested.
"Get on the bed."
Ronon knew not to fight Teyla when she used that tone of voice and reluctantly laid down on the bed. The glass walls rose around him, and he saw Teyla punching in some of the buttons. There was a flash of light, and a moment later, the walls were gone and he was blinking at Teyla looking down at him, pulling him upright.
"Did it work?" she demanded.
For a moment, he forgot what he was doing lying there, then suddenly remembered. Flexing his knee, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and bounced to the floor.
"Feels perfect," he said.
"Then we need to move before they come back," Teyla said, already gathering the loose equipment from the control box and stuffing it into her pack. "You carry him," she motioned to Sheppard, "and I will cover you."
Ronon easily swung Sheppard's lanky body over his shoulder, slipping a knife into the hand that he used to support the Colonel, and arming his blaster with the other.
"Let's go."
They encountered little resistance. Anyone who tried to stop them was taken out with multiple rounds of Teyla's P90 and Ronon's blaster, but when they emerged on the surface, a silent army of aliens stood before them, blocking their way to the exit, guns raised.
Ronon swore.
Teyla bristled, and he knew she was ready to fight to the death for Sheppard, but he also knew they were going to lose. There were too many aliens, too many guns, and he and the Athosian did not have enough firepower.
"What do we do?" he asked in a low voice.
"We fight," Teyla replied. "We can't give him up."
Just then, an explosion hit a building nearby, blowing chunks of debris into the air. Everyone flinched and stumbled back. Another explosion blew apart a building on the other side of them, and Ronon suddenly realized what was going on.
The whine of a cloaked 'jumper filled the air above their heads.
"I'm going to clear a path for you and then you need to make a run for it," Lorne said over their radios. "We'll pick you up outside."
Immediately, a line of fire ripped through the army of aliens standing in front of them, clearing a straight path towards the perimeter of the barracks. Teyla and Ronon did not hesitate, moving as one as they raced through the destruction.
Green blasts of energy tore through the air, barely missing them as they ran faster than they had ever run before. Outside the barracks, a puddlejumper shimmered into shape in front of them, hovering just above the ground with the back hatch open. Marines lined the door, firing Wraith stunners over their heads at the pursuing aliens behind them.
Leaping into the jumper, Teyla slammed the door closed, feeling the sickening lurch as the ship rose into the sky then stabilized. Ronon eased Sheppard to the floor and a medic swooped in.
"Everyone here?" McKay shouted from the copilot's seat.
"Yes, we are all here," Teyla called back.
Within moments, they were at the 'gate and through to Atlantis. As the puddlejumper turned to ascend to the docking bay, Ronon saw something covering the Stargate's wormhole. It looked like metal shards had locked into place over the glowing event horizon.
"What the hell is that?" he asked.
"Secret project that finally got approval," McKay said. "The Stargate back on Earth has one of these. We call it an iris. Atlantis has a shield, but this should work just as well and hopefully better — unless these aliens can walk through solid matter and a shield and get through our address block."
"If they return for Colonel Sheppard or to complete their mission on Atlantis then we will find out soon enough," Teyla said.
"Let's hope they give us a breather before they try because this day was far too exciting already," McKay muttered, settling the shuttle into place.
Sheppard had been strapped to a gurney and was wheeled out as soon as the doors opened. Ronon and Teyla followed close behind.
"He needs to go straight to a cell," Ronon ordered the Marines.
"Sir, Doctor Keller said —"
"He is dangerous," Teyla said firmly. "We cannot trust him at the moment. If Doctor Keller needs to see him then it needs to be in a cell."
The Marine in charge hesitated only for a moment before giving Ronon and Teyla a quick nod. "I'll inform Doctor Keller."
"I'll go with them," Ronon said to Teyla. "You let Woolsey know what happened."
Teyla gathered up the bag with the alien equipment and headed off to Woolsey's office while Ronon followed the Marines and medic. On the gurney, Sheppard was starting to stir, and Ronon charged up his blaster, making sure it was on stun.
"We need to move fast," he growled at the Marines. "He's at full strength now."
They doubled their pace and Ronon could see Sheppard's eyes open, confused and disoriented. As he began to fight the straps holding him to the gurney, they made it to the cell they had put him in before, pushing the gurney inside and keeping all weapons trained on the Colonel as the medic unstrapped him.
Slowly, Sheppard sat up on the gurney, looking at the Marines and Ronon as the medic backed out of the cell.
"Hey guys," he said, his voice rough. "What's goin' on?"
"You with us, Sheppard?" Ronon asked, keeping his blaster trained on the man.
Sheppard slowly swung his feet around until he was sitting on the side of the gurney.
"I seem to have lost some time …" he muttered, massaging his temples with one hand.
"Alright, we're going to leave you here so you can rest," Ronon said, motioning the Marines back.
"Yeah. Rest." Sheppard sighed.
And then he spun into motion.
If Ronon hadn't been fighting for his life he would have been impressed at the ferocity and sheer grace that Sheppard used in bringing down three fully armed Marines in the span of seconds. But there was no time to be impressed when the next thing he knew was a Bowie knife was being held to his throat, trapping him between a wiry Colonel and the bars behind him.
The absolute savagery in Sheppard's eyes terrified him. It was as if he didn't know who Ronon was. But as the blade pressed into the skin at Ronon's neck, the other three Marines grabbed Sheppard, hauling him off of the Satedan to sprawl on the floor, managing to pry the knife from his grasp in the process. One Marine was pinned under Sheppard but had him in a choke hold while the others threw all their weight into keeping the Colonel pinned to the floor.
Ronon had heard the hold the Marine was using was called the sleeper because it could quite quickly cause someone to pass out, but the seconds ticked by with Sheppard struggling under the Marine's thick arm. Finally, his eyes rolled back in his head and he went limp.
The Marines immediately scrambled out from under his body.
"Let's go! Everybody out now!" one of them ordered.
Someone grabbed the gurney and wheeled it out while the others pulled out the three unconscious Marines. Ronon was the last out and turned to see Sheppard waking up, disoriented, but quickly recovering as he lurched to his feet.
Slamming a hand on the door control, Ronon barely made it out as Sheppard crashed into the bars, seething.
"Cool your heels, Sheppard," Ronon snarled. As he turned to leave he said to one of the Marines, "And make sure someone turns that shield on."