I stopped writing this because I figured I'd lost everyone's interest with my last super-long delay. I figure I'm pretty right on that account (7 responses to the last chapter to date, ouch) but someone actually got a hold of me and pestered me to finish this up, and well, one is enough. Here's part 9 of 10. I am going to write the finale eventually, but there's just one thing I gotta make clear. I post online so I can receive feedback—an invaluable resource in my ongoing efforts to improve myself. Please try and post critical comments with specific reference to what was good and/or poor, it not only helps me write better in the future, but it motivates me to update more quickly.

Chapter 9: The Best Laid Plans

Robin straightened his daring crimson tie, ran a hand through his hair, and leaned over toward his mirror. With exaggerated care, he checked the sides of his designer sunglasses to make certain the low-key holographic matrix correctly altered his facial contours and eye color to an unobtrusively bland disguise. When he was certain he was just as protected as he was behind a mask, he stepped back and did a final body check. His elegantly tailored Armani was black silk, turning his lean body into a razor-edged, sleek shadow. He was slick and graceful…a shark, maybe, or perhaps even… a bird. With a final spritz of cologne behind each ear and wrist, he pocketed his comb and exited his private bathroom.

So, Starfire had made her choice, planned their date, and he'd been asked quite politely to dress formally. Probably the only request that would have surprised him more would have been to come naked—though really, he probably could have seen even that one coming too, considering recent events. The end result had been an opportunity to dust off some old undercover investigation gadgets he'd never gotten to use, and an equally rare opportunity to pull out his civvies. Living with a millionaire playboy had elevated his tastes, and while his first choice of garb was body armor and his second was the kind of casual wear he could work out in, when it came to being seen in public, his preference was definitely a large-tag suit. So, while he'd been surprised by her request, he was far from upset. When he considered the opportunity to see Starfire in full formal regalia, he moved from not upset to 'almost able to forget the larger problem.' It would have to do.

Robin stepped out of his room and into the hall, trying hard not to sigh. After a little bit of effort, he even managed to not-frown, fixing his face into an impassive mask to go along with the hologram. Masks… always he wore masks. Not for the first time, he wondered what enabled him to demand honesty and trust from women that had never even seen his real features—then he set that can of worms aside to be tackled after the immediate crisis had resolved. He had to focus, because the resolution was coming, and no matter what he screamed in their faces, it would be him alone who determined if the resolution was a complete disaster or… well, a more localized tragedy. Whoopee.

"Freeze!" the word jerked Robin up short. His natural reflex was to attack, but he recognized the voice readily enough that he came to a stop instead. "Alright buddy—who are ya and how the hell did you get past my security?" Cyborg had him covered, and the well-dressed young man slowly put his hands up as he listened to the sonic cannon slowly charge about an inch behind his medulla.

"Oh come on Cy, don't tell me you don't recognize our main man?" That was Speedy, completely chill, sauntering up from behind the huge mechanical man.

"What?" Cyborg took his eye off of Robin to stare his confusion at Speedy, and that was all the chance he needed. One gut busting heave of a judo-throw later, all of Cyborg's protective armor transformed into dead weight that bashed into the hall's floor with a terrible crash.

"Hey Cy, how's the weather down there?" Robin was smiling now, no amount of internal turmoil able to make the situation less than hilarious. It took Cyborg a moment to recover from his unexpected trip, but when he did, he was clearly having trouble deciding to be amused or angry. He wound up settling for just confused.

"Damn man, you're looking pretty sharp! Who woulda figured a little punk like you would clean up so well?" Cyborg watched the virtual stranger in the suit brush himself down to check for damage to his silks after the tussle, and then felt the awkwardness of the situation close in on him. "Heh… right… well anyway, tonight's the big night eh? You looking forward to this? I mean, I haven't seen Star yet, but I know you gotta be pumped!"

"Oh, yeah Cy!" Speedy stepped in with a sarcastic drawl before Cy could notice the frightening scowl spreading across Robin's lips. "Of course he's pumped! He's about to delve into the kind of emotional snake-pit you usually only find on television and in cheap romance novels! His decisions in the coming days will affect not only himself, but two women he's sworn to protect from all pain and harm. If he messes up—hell maybe even if he does everything perfectly, not only will his life be ruined, but so will theirs! On his shoulders rests the fate of three young romances!" Speedy suddenly clenched his hands over his heart and spun in a graceful pirouette. "Ah, young love, so passionate, so volatile, so Ugya!"

Speedy doubled over as Robin's snap kick connected with his solar plexus. He was laughing as his eyes watered at the shocking pain, and sure enough, Robin's meltdown had been averted. The three of them together then made their way out into the common room amid a hail of conversation.

"So—no shit—" Speedy wound out his anecdote, "this is an expertly upsized version the exact suit Robin wore that time in Sicily! And let me tell you, he was getting all the ladies at Don Mezzoloni's party. I was in a total ass-drought the whole night, right up until Mr. Popular here sent a little of his runoff my way."

"Oh come on! I was trying to shake those bloodsuckers all night! I needed you to distract them so I could sneak out and get Mezzoloni's American contact list."

"Do you hear this guy?" Speedy gestured theatrically, patting Robin on the back as he heckled, "popular and modest! Thanks to this saint, I wound up distracting those ladies all night long… if you catch my meaning!"

"No, Speedy," Cy was eying him ruefully, "What exactly do you mean?"

"Hey, yeah, tell us! How did you 'entertain' those delightful young women while I was risking my ass?" Robin's expression was completely sardonic, because of course, he already knew what Cyborg suspected. "Keep in mind Cy that the average age of both us and them at this point was around fourteen."

"Well… that is…" Speedy, foiled, rubbed his knuckles nervously as he chuckled, stalling. It worked. "Hey! Look!" he extricated himself by latching onto the most providential distraction anyone could possibly have wished for. The two guys grilling him glanced quickly where he pointed by reflex, and then did symmetrical double-takes, mouths gaping.

The woman that walked into the common room was enough to make any guy's brain shut down for the duration. The first thing one noticed—well, nevermind, that would depend on the person. Let's say that the first thing Robin noticed was her hair. That's a lot different than what Speedy noticed first, for example—but back to the subject at hand.

Starfire, because there wasn't anyone else it could possibly be despite overwhelming visual evidence, had performed art incarnate to her hair. What had once been a mass of lustrous red falling ruler-straight down her back had become something vividly textured. She had arranged hundreds of thin, individual braids artistically around her shoulders, the vast mass cascading around her in a veil of strands while a second group draped enticingly over her right eye and settled over richly tanned skin.

Her gown was something else entirely, and accounts for where Speedy's attention became instantaneously absorbed. A cocktail dress at heart, the violet frock sparkled with layers of sequins. Where it diverged jarringly into the land of adolescent dreams was in its cut, which could be most immediately described as 'yowza.' It was a halter, the single strap holding it up around her neck became the two strips of fabric that draped over her chest and held up the skirt, leaving one hundred percent of cleavage and midriff bare. She was smiling radiantly as she watched three men loose all control of their jaw muscles, and spun once as she got closer to give them the full effect. The dress was completely backless, her astounding braids the only thing between the world and an expanse of undeniably perfect skin. She stood in front of them with a half-knowing, half-embarrassed look in her one visible eye and cocked a hip. This had the pulse-pounding affect of displaying a long cream stocking through the thigh-high slit in the skirt. The tiny corner of bare skin at the top of the slit just above the lip of the stocking caught Speedy's eye and…

"Uhhh…" Speedy turned around abruptly, adjusting the layers of spandex over his suddenly unbearably uncomfortable armored pants. He hurried to daub at a spontaneous nosebleed as the encounter continued without him.

"Good evening Robin, you look most handsome, though I almost didn't recognize you in that disguise. Are you ready for our date?" Starfire seemed more and more disturbed by the unwavering stares she was getting from Robin and Cyborg, and she began to blush slightly under layers of makeup as she brought her bare arms up to cover some of the skin being so openly ogled. Her usual attire probably showed off just as much skin in pure square inches, but never before had she been so acutely aware of the effect her display of… well… herself had on her male friends.

"Humina…" Robin coughed once incoherently, his roving eyes still overruling every other neural process as he drank in the sight that had ambushed them all. It wasn't until a sharp elbow from the still-turned-around Speedy caught him in his left kidney that he managed to snap out of it. "Erg!—uh—I mean… hey Star." He frowned and changed his focus to the carpet while he kicked himself mentally until he had some semblance of his poise back. "Yeah. Yeah I'm ready," he recovered with at least a little dignity left, "And might I say… you look… absolutely gorgeous."

Rather than answer, Starfire's blush just deepened by a half dozen shades as she found herself suddenly unable to meet his gaze. Taking the initiative at last, Robin stepped forward and linked his arm through one of hers as it continued to make an uncharacteristic play for modesty. At the touch, Starfire looked up, startled, and she stared into his sunglasses like she could see the eyes just behind them. Her own eyes literally sparkled with the play of luminous bio-solar energy behind the emerald lenses. It was just one of those moments.

"Alright lovebirds, break it up for a second and give a gander over thisaway!" Speedy's bellow broke the tension sizzling through the atmosphere like a splash of cold water, and the two of them turned his way with a matched set of embarrassed smiles. "Oh… whoops. Probably should have saved the 'lovebirds' comment for Saturday night. Ah well. To commemorate the two of you looking like just under a hundred and sixteen million dollars as a collector's set, I deputized myself as official photographer for the evening. Think Fast!"

Robin had just enough time to look utterly startled as Starfire gripped him as close as possible with her linked arm and held up her free hand in a peace sign.

CLICK!

Speedy's professional 35mm automatic lit the room with a powerful flash as Robin recovered his poise just in time for Cyborg to burst out laughing with Speedy quick to follow. Starfire dropped her pose to look at them both in guarded confusion, and then turned to Robin, who was giving her a warm smile.

"I do not understand… was that not an appropriate pose for a photographic portrait here on Earth?"

"Uh, well, you had it right I guess." Robin couldn't stop himself from scratching his head in mild embarrassment himself as she began to pout in uncertainty. "It's just most people go for something a little more restrained given the circumstances." Starfire's pout became slightly hurt puppy-dog eyes that fixed on Robin and wrung out a look of ultimate guilt for having dampened the night for her already.

CLICK!
"Speedy!" Robin turned in a burst of frustration as his brother in arms immortalized his first screw-up of the evening. He raised a fist in threat as Starfire clung to his other arm, bewildered.

CLICK!

"Speedy!" Cyborg was laughing openly again as Starfire looked on in confusion, unwilling to relinquish the arm she'd been offered under any circumstance, even as Robin strained hopelessly against her super-human grip for a swipe at Speedy's candid camera.

"Okay, okay! I've got what I wanted anyway!" Speedy finally stopped aiming the camera their way as Robin made a Birdarang appear out of nowhere and flipped it in a trajectory that would have clipped the red-head's lens if he'd been slower to dodge. "Just—Star, if you could do me one more favor before you two kick this night of in earnest?"

"We don't have time for this Speedy!" Robin was glaring daggers as his buddy continued to stretch out this first-real-date hazing thing he was pulling.

"No Robin," Starfire surprised everyone, except maybe Speedy, when she let go of Robin suddenly and said, "Anything for a friend. What would you have me do?"

"Really? Well Great!" Speedy leapt back from Robin and readied his camera again as the two other guys stood back in suspicious confusion. "You can start out by walking back toward the elevator there, then turning your head to look back at me." Starfire clearly didn't get it, and she cocked her head, sending her braids into a marvelous cascade. Rather than inquire further, she just complied, putting some space between her and Speedy, then turning her head to glance back at him.

CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK! Speedy's camera erupted to life the second she assumed the classic pose.

"Now give me a little spin—and smile!" Speedy shouted excitedly as he capitalized on the pure stunned shock that had struck the boyfriend and honorary older brother present. Starfire obeyed by bemused reflex more than anything else as he continued to snap, snap, snap away.

"That's right, work it girl! Looking—oh—just fantastic!" Speedy dodged out of the way as Cyborg went high and Robin went low, the two collapsing into one another as he took up a new position to the side, camera clicking away as fast as it could. "Now lean forward and give me a pout!"

Starfire leaned forward all right, her whole dress shaping and molding delightfully around her in the process, but her look was more one of bewilderment as she watched Speedy dodge a flying kick from Robin and a charging clothesline from Cyborg, his camera never silent for an instant.

"Oh, Yes! Yes!" he shouted theatrically as he skipped over grasping hands and ducked a wild punch, "The camera loves you Star-baby! Now give me angry! Rowr! Like a tiger—hup!"

A final sweep-kick from Robin took Speedy's feet out from under him as Cyborg reached out and snatched the camera before he even finished falling. Quite without ceremony, the stony-faced heavyweight ripped out the film, then crushed the device in one powerful paw. Robin just brushed himself off and contemplated further retaliation as he watched Speedy hold his hands out in surrender and smile a devilish grin of 'you got me.'

"Uh… is this some kind of custom—"

"NO!" Cyborg and Robin shouted simultaneously, and then realized who they were talking to and hurried to apologize before Starfire could take it the wrong way. The three of them quickly organized themselves and caught the elevator down to the garage, leaving Speedy to lie on his back with a most unexpectedly satisfied look on his face.

After a moment, he reached into a pouch on his belt and pulled out a nondescript little box. Incidentally, this was the device that had been recording his photographs digitally while his 35mm made a convincing show of being a plain mechanical camera. He kissed it.

"No, thank you Mr. Remote Digital Memory Device! Ah… those ones are going in my private collection…" Hey lay back in contemplation of a job well done until a sudden rasp in his ear caught his attention.

"This is… um… Starry-eyed to uh… Cyrano," a gentle female voice whispered uncertainly into his earpiece, and he sat up to attention with a smile on his face. "Come in Cyrano, how have I performed so far?"

"Cyrano here, you've been doing just perfect Starry-eyed! Sorry for the antics, but if I didn't pull something early, they'd be on their guard for the rest of the night. I'm afraid they just don't trust me to leave well enough alone."

"I… I do not believe I really understand, but I think you for your assistance none the less!" Starfire's voice was heavy with sincerity, and Speedy couldn't help but feel the slightest twinge of guilt now. Just a slight one, though. "Could you go over the 'things to remember' list one more time while the others are arranging our transportation please?"

"Sure thing! Step one, look fantastic. You have that down for certain, so never loose confidence! Chances are he's way more nervous than you are." Starfire mumbled a rather embarrassed sound over the line, and Speedy went on. "Step two, conversation is key! Remember what we talked about yesterday and you should be fine. Until things reach the critical moment, silence is your enemy!"

"Right!"

"Okay, step three…" Speedy hesitated for a moment. "You know, you're still not ready for step three."

"But—"

"No buts, I know what I'm talking about. Just… just make sure you stay on his arm like glue. If you're sitting across from him go for hand contact and if you're sitting next to him lean into him. Casually intimate contact is your number one trump card!"

"Um… yes… about that. What exactly is the meaning of this 'intimate' again? I do not think I quite understand—oh, they are back!"

"Okay," Speedy tried to stifle his sigh of relief at the bullet once again dodged, "If you have any questions or concerns, cultural confusions or whatever, just subvocalize into that LASH mic we rigged up under your braids and I'll be able to hear you. Keep on going like you have so far and you're got him all wrapped up! Cyrano out!"

Speedy cut the mic and stood up slowly, his mind working furiously through the plan until he confirmed the next step. He hit his mic again.

"This is Cyrano to Animal Passion, come in Animal Passion!"

"This is Animal Passion," Beast Boy came back with a slick edge to his voice, "that's a big ten-four. Breaker, breaker, four-niner, alpha, bravo, charlie. You set 'em up and we knock 'em down. You rock 'em and we sock 'em. You tag 'em and we bag 'em. You—"

"Can it! Jesus, what's the matter with you?" Speedy was snappish under all the pressure he'd taken on, but he was smiling.

"Heh, sorry. Got a little carried away there. Anyway, the bird is in the nest. Phase two is go!"

"Good, very good. You contact Super Decoy One while I 'prime the pump.'"

"Roger that, Animal Passion out!"

Speedy's smile settled in as everything continued to fall neatly into place. With easy determination, he walked the halls of Titan's Tower until he came to a very specific door. Leaning back against the wall next to it, he craned his arm around and knocked gently three times.

"Are you ready to get started in there?" Speedy's question was answered by a long silence.

"Uh… actually…" The subdued female voice was nervy and upset, but still had a hard edge. "I'm not so sure about this anymore."

"Huh? What? You did get the message earlier with the alterations to the plan right? I had to change it when I got wind of what Starfire had planned for tonight."

"Eh… I got the note, yeah. It's just…"

"Now, now, Raven, you came to me for help. I told you then, and I still believe that this is your best chance. You do remember what we talked about, right?"

"Well… yeah…"

Yesterday Night

Speedy was kicked back, cackling to himself in subdued delight as he considered his array of schemes. He was so relaxed, in fact, that he didn't notice the knock at the door until it was repeated with pounding intensity. Eyebrow arched, Speedy gripped the chair's arms and flipped acrobatically backward to his feet, moseyed over, and leaned against the wall with one arm before triggering the door open. Waiting for him on the other side was Raven, the look on her hooded face a compound of nerves and doubt as she shifted her eyes up and down the hallway.

"Uh… Raven… uh… hello?" the confusion stenciled across Speedy's face depend as Raven ducked into the room and took a final glance back through the halls before slipping up against his wall and triggering the door shut without a whisper. Then she turned slowly to look at him. "Eh…heh… not that I'm not delighted to be visited by a beautiful woman on a steamy night like this but—"

"Cram it Speedy." The relaxed you man suddenly found himself trapped in an ironclad telekinetic grip, and a flash of panic washed through him as he imagined what she might possibly have on him. Lord knew he had enough underhanded dealings on the table right now to merit a lot more than a sudden bungee encounter over rocky cliffs. "I'm going to make this quick and simple," Raven's eyes glowed from the shadows of her cloak, and Speedy frantically resisted the urge to vacate his bladder. Then the power bled from narrowed orbs as her gaze softened to something closer to sour rather than maleficent. "I… I want your help."

"I swear I didn't—what?" Speedy caught himself up with a jerk before he could incriminate himself, "My… my help?"

"Yeah, and you're not going to tell anyone! Do you understand me?" The telekinetic grip paralyzing his body and dangling him in the air constricted suddenly, the blood rushing to his head as he was slowly crushed, "not anyone!"

"Hurk—got—it!" Speedy managed to choke, and she dropped him like a sack of rice, his dead weight flopping to the floor. After gasping for air a while, his mouth cut into auto-drive. "Heh, you certainly have a way with persuasion. Anyway, consider my home your home—which, incidentally, this situation renders rather literal—"

"Oh shut up." Raven pulled back her hood, and Speedy noticed instantly that she was wearing a layer of makeup applied with a rather inexperienced hand. She'd been… practicing.

"Ah… I think I begin to understand what this unexpected call is all about… so… uh… help? What kind of help could you want from a feckless little twerp of a marksmen like me?" The sarcasm in his voice was measured to be grating, and it was answered by a dagger glare that left him physically chilled. His smile evaporated as he took in the emotion behind that glare, and he held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, fine, I'm serious now. Just tell me what specifically you need help with and I'll do whatever I can. I guess I owe you that much after being such a pain in the ass the other day."

"That and more… but let's not go there. What I need is…" Raven hesitated, crossing her arms and turning toward the bare expanses of the guestroom. She mumbled something incoherent.

"Uh… what's that?"

She mumbled again, slightly louder, and Speedy felt torn between the overwhelming desire to taunt her in her embarrassment and the fear that even reasonably asking her to speak up would merit retaliation. In the end, he erred on the side of caution and couched his comment in his most reasonable tone and argument.

"Heh now, come on, I can't help you if you don't talk to me! You've already got a death threat ensuring my secrecy, so it's not like you have to worry about this getting around."

"Yeah…" Raven's face reflected the slow victory that statement wrought for her confidence, "Okay. I want… I want dating tips, okay?" She spat the last, daring him to laugh or taunt, and relaxed slightly when he did neither. "I… I'm not giving up Robin without at least knowing I put everything I possibly could into this. The problem is…"

"Hey, no prob!" Speedy surprised her by bursting with enthusiasm. "You're talking to a genuine… err… at least self-styled ladies man, after all. That, and I've know Robin since he first got into the capes and mask lifestyle. You came to the right man! Why, with me behind you, this whole thing is practically in the bag already."

Raven watched his open and honest smile with unflagging suspicion. Speedy put all of his being into not sweating through that whopper of a lie, and eventually Raven's critical stare abated. He managed not to gasp in relief, but only barely.

"So, first off, we have to talk about—"

"Hold it! Before we start talking about anything, I just want to know…" Raven seemed to droop for a moment, then pulled herself together and finished, "do you think I honestly have a chance here?" Speedy stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before finally latching on to the first completely honestly sincere sentiment he'd had since this discussion started.

"Trust me Raven," his smile wasn't faked now, "You may have started with sort of a handicap, but as of the time things blew up, you and Starfire are running the closest tie I've ever seen. From here, it's going to be all about whose feelings are truer, and of course, who wants it most. Now, the question is, are you ready to do what it takes to prove that you want Robin more than Starfire?"

Raven was quiet for a moment, considering the question with a lot more thought than he'd expected. Finally, she looked up and nodded.

"What do I have to do?" Over the next ten minutes, Speedy told her, in detail. When he finished, she had a look of undisguised apprehension frozen over her usually calm features. "Uh… is… are you sure? There isn't any other way? I mean—"

"Hey, you asked for my opinion, I gave it. If you do that, you will be doing everything possible to prove your right to that guy's affections. There may be other ways, sure, but you'd have to figure those out on your own. Are you saying you don't want my help after all?"

"I didn't say that!" Raven quickly appended, then settled back into her open bundle of nerves. "I didn't say that."

"Okay. So just do what I told you and we'll meet up tomorrow night after Robin's left to give Starfire her chance. That's when the operation will start. Get the things I mentioned and be ready to go. Remember, it's your time Raven, time for you to get what you want for a change."

She paused completely for a moment as she took those words to heart. Looking slightly more comfortable, she nodded and took her leave, vanishing into a swirl of darkness before his very eyes. He waited for a moment to make sure she was really gone, then sighed in quickly mounting relief.

"Oh man… what am I getting myself into here?" Speedy said, completely to himself, as he walked back to the chair he'd started the encounter in. "Still… this does present more opportunities that I could ever have imagined. Hell, who am I kidding? I just want to see Raven once she's—"

The sudden sharp knocking at the door startled Speedy out of his lecherous reverie and onto his feet. He scratched his head in confusion as he walked back over to his door and triggered it open.

"Was there something else you wanted—" he started, before he noticed which woman was standing outside his door this time. With a sudden sinking feeling, he matched the nervous expression on her face perfectly to Raven's as she slipped into the room and did a final glance up and down the hallway before shutting his door without even acknowledging him. The weight of deja'vou was oppressive.

"Um… Speedy… I apologize for entering so suddenly, but I have come here tonight for the most important of requests!" Starfire was blushing furiously, and more importantly, she wasn't threatening to break him in two or broil him in his own juices. In his eyes, this merited a modicum of restraint on his part.

"Oh no, no trouble at all Starfire!" Speedy felt a mask of a smile fixing on his face as the pure unreality of what was happening here began to impress on him. There really wasn't any doubt that she was here for the same reason Raven had just been, and the sudden expansion of his opportunities was utterly mind-boggling. "So what can I do for a radiant thing like you on a hot night like this?"

"Ah," the playful weight behind his reflexive flirting washed off of a shield of obliviousness, "If I am being perfectly honest, I must admit that I require your help Speedy. I… I need…" She mumbled something under her breath, and Speedy couldn't stop himself from smacking his head in frustration.

"Gah—dating tips, right?" Starfire's eyes snapped open in shock as he pinpointed her source of embarrassment effortlessly, and Speedy hurried to get serious before she could catch on.

"Ah—yeah, you came to the right place believe it or not. Yeah… yeah… no problem. HA!" Starfire was startled by his sudden bark of enthusiasm and the excitement twinkling in his eyes, shrinking back from him in discomfort. "No—no I'm sorry. It'll be no problem to help you Starfire. To tell the truth, I've been rooting for you all along. Have a seat and we'll start planning right away. I think I know just what we need to do."

Starfire allowed herself to be swept along, not exactly certain how things had turned out the way they were, but way too relieved to have an expert in her corner. Speedy's mind was racing, plans forming and reforming, the world suddenly his oyster.

Back in the Present

"So are you going to let me in or what?" Speedy pressed the issue, knowing that a challenge to her pride would be the quickest way to motivate this one. "We are on a limited timetable if we want to intercept the target. Hey, are you listening?"

"Fine! Just… just hold on one minute." The delay was more than a minute. It was actually closer to five, and Speedy could almost see Raven building up the courage to take this next step. The anticipation was torture, as this of all things was what he'd been looking forward to all along. Finally, with a swish, the door slid open.

For a minute, Speedy thought he'd gone blind. In reality, his eyes had just gone unfocused for a moment in their desperate attempt to take in every part of the image he'd been presented with at the same time. He did a double-take, clearing his vision just in time for what he was actually seeing to sink in. His breath came out in a slow wheeze, and he just stared.

The woman in the doorway bore about as much resemblance to Raven as a carnation bore to a rose. Both were great to look at, but one had an undeniable air of burning, sweaty, pulse-throbbing passion. This, right here, right now, was the second one… no doubt.

Her dress definitely started at the throat, the fabric wrapping around her neck in a perfect choker that accentuated the curve of her neck in the most delightful way. From there, a single ribbon of fabric twisted from the middle of her back, came across her front to cover her bust, wrapped around again, and then came around at her hip to broaden out into a skirt that didn't quite reach halfway to her knees with slits that made it within a bare inch of something obscene on both thighs. Her legs were pale and smooth delight all the way down to the three inch pumps. Every inch of the black fabric clung to her skin like the two were one and the same, no matter how she moved, defying gravity and all normal rules of fabric dynamics. When the light caught it the right way, the black flared with blue highlights that eluded accurate description. Finally, Raven had done… something… to her hair, and rather than laying limp in functional blue rows, it sprang up in a wild volumous mass of wavy wonderment.

"Ehheh… nnnn…" Speedy's brain had been taken out of the loop, and the part of his body that was doing the thinking at this point wasn't terribly articulate.

"Speedy? Uh… are you alright?" Raven, prepared to face taunting at best and maybe even outright laughter, was startled into actual concern by the absolute astonishment drooling from Speedy in heaps. Stepping into the doorway, she tilted her head and shifted her weight to one foot in a way that shook something loose in Speedy's guts.

"Shh….yeah!" Speedy wheezed, and in retrospect he blessed the foresight that had led him to inhale the astringent into his sinuses that was choking off the projectile nosebleed that would usually arrive right around this point. "I mean—" his voice cracked like a fourteen-year-old on a first date, and he coughed and beat his chest, focusing in on the pain to clear his thoughts. "That is to say, yes. Yes, I'm… I'm just peachy. Thanks for asking!"

"Seriously, Speedy, you're freaking me out here!" Or so she said. For some reason, let's go out on a limb and say an unexpected welling of feminine pride, she'd grown a smile that was quickly moving from guarded to delighted. Something about the way Speedy's eyes were trying to crawl out of his skull and cling to her mostly bare midriff brought simultaneous urges to blush, slap him, and… of all things… giggle.

"Seriously Speedy, weren't you the one on my case about our timetable?"

"What? Oh… right. Well, gee, sorry for staring, but—I mean this in the nicest possible way—WOW!" He accentuated that with an eyebrow twitch that shifted things just a smudge past the line, and Raven's smile evaporated. "Seriously Raven, you could charge admission!"

A casual cuff around both ears spun Speedy around and reestablished the relationship they were supposed to be maintaining. He apologized with a sheepish look and she nodded. Then she grinned again.

"So, do you think this will do the job?" Raven's eyes were lantern-bright with enthusiasm she'd never expected to feel for this plan. "Is he going to be jealous?"

"Is he going…?" Speedy repeated her question in disbelief, as though he couldn't imagine she'd even have to ask. "Damnit Raven—I'm jealous! Color me friggin' Green here lady, 'cause envy is my middle name! You look… well… words fail. If you want complete honesty, the fact is that you're going to be the glittering beacon that sucks up the attention of everything with testicles you come within eyeshot of. And… well… probably more than a few things without."

"UG! Okay, that's enough of that!" Raven threw her arms up in exasperation to ward off the raunchy images Speedy had broached. "Let's just get this show on the road."

"Right-o pretty lady. Are you ready to meet your 'date.'"

"Ah, about that…" Raven's reluctance rallied with fervor as this part of the plan made an appearance again. "Are you sure? I mean, it has the potential to go so wrong!"

"Please just trust me okay?" Speedy waited until he got a reluctant nod of agreement. "Cool. Finish up here and we'll meet out in the common room. Trust me, you'll like this guy. He's a little flighty, but unlike most people in our line of work, he's got class."

Titan's Tower Common Room

"Speedy—my MAN!" the stranger in the suit leapt from his seat where Beast Boy in his team uniform was proffering a minor ass-load of various snack foods. The too-fast-to-see motion kicked up a wash of air that knocked the little green dude off his feet and left him covered in nacho-cheese and cashews. Unfazeable, he dipped the cashews in the nacho cheese and made the best of the situation.

"Hey, hey, hey—lookin' mighty fine there zippo!" Speedy strode confidently up and clasped forearms with the young man, whose brilliantly orange and yellow striped tie complimented his overpoweringly red hair. Other than those two features, his suit-with-holographic-projector-sunglasses guise left him looking as dashingly nondescript as Robin had.

"Yeah, well, you owe me one for this! I can't just pick up and do you a favor every time you holler—I'm a big-time super-hero these days. I figure another year or two and the boys upstairs will be scouting me!" Speedy rolled his eyes as the single most superly-powerful of his old crew showed his usual good-natured conceit. "Hell, if it weren't for the fact that this is all for Birdso, I might have told you to take a hike you shameless little tit!"

"HA! You just wait." Speedy matched Kid Flash bravado for bravado as they caught up for the months they'd gone without a chance to hassle one another in as compact a space as possible. "In a few short moments, not only will you eat those words—you'll be falling over yourself to thank me!"

"Hmph. We'll see!"

"Yeah," Speedy's confidence seemed to weigh on Flash, but his natural chill counterbalanced nicely, "We'll see alright. Now if you could do me a huge favor," Speedy leaned over and whispered something in his ear while Beast Boy sat the whole thing out in the heap of snack food.

Giving Speedy a quizzical look, Flash vanished in, y'know… a flash. There was a rush of wind and an imperceptible blur, and then Flash was standing in exactly the same spot he'd vacated, only he was munching on a chilidog with exaggerated care for his fine suit.

"All done," he mumbled through a mouthful of MSGs and pork byproduct.

"Good… good." The devious look on Speedy's face was disquieting to say the least, particularly as he tapped the tips of his fingers together in sequence. Flash and BB didn't have time to grill him though, because that was when Raven hit the scene and the prophetic words Speedy had given her as the straight truth came quite unerringly true.

Flash locked eyes on her, did a hyper-speed double take to check his eyes, and then let the full effect overpower him. His right leg began to twitch in an ultra-fast nervous motion that fanned up the air all through the room. Beast Boy, for his part, could have taken the place of a certain "Home Alone" child star with his jaw locked in full extension and his hands mashed to the sides of his head. Raven took only a few steps in before she noticed the gaggle of eyes fixed on her, an utterly alien sensation that she was not at all sure she appreciated, and froze. For a long moment, there was only the two sides staring at each other, the low-key buzz of Flash's hypersonic vibration, the silent scream stretching Beast Boy's jaw, and a mysterious, muffled clicking noise.

Having pre-prepared himself for this, Speedy recovered first, glancing down at Beast Boy and clacking his jaw shut with one hand. He held it for a second, and the moment he let go, the slack muscles let it flap right open again. He turned to Flash, noting the fanning effect of his nervous leg-tick, then edged over and stepped on his old friend's foot, pinning it to the floor. Like a twanged instrument, the vibration spread from Flash's foot to his whole body until it his head and he froze. Before anyone could utter a peep, Flash grabbed Speedy by his armor and zipped him to the back corner of the room, Beast Boy's frozen look of disbelief mutating slowly into complete fascination as he slowly craned his neck to the side to get more angles on the vision enchanting him.

"HOLY CRAP!" Flash whispered/shouted to Speedy as they leaned into the room's far corner for privacy. "You didn't mention that she was… was…"

"Hotter than the mind can easily comprehend?" Speedy supplied, grinning.

"HELL YEAH!" Flash glanced over his shoulder at Raven, who was cultivating a look of nervous exasperation as she began to detect a pattern for the evening taking shape. "Have I mentioned recently that I love you, Speedster?"

"Do tell?" Speedy was in full gloat as he watched Flash swallow his pride with gusto and fervor.

"No, seriously, you are my number one! You are my blood-brother! I… I'm damn glad you called me."

"I had a feeling you'd say that. Hurry up, don't keep her waiting. And remember: class."

Flash nodded and winked behind his shades, then straightened his tie and spritzed some breath freshener to chase away the odor of chili. He loosened his neck, and was gone.

"Hey there Raven!" he started out with a smile as he reappeared next to her in a wash of displaced air. "You are looking… uh… is 'Finnnnneeee' an appropriate adjective?"

"Hmm, no." She answered without malice. "But thank you for asking." She was smiling again. It would have been kind of weird to find a woman who didn't grin after a shot like that, no matter how little it was appreciated.

"Wait-wait-wait… Raven? That's RAVEN?" Beast Boy sounded utterly shocked, not that he hadn't been looking that way for a while now. Speedy and Flash winced. Raven's eyes narrowed dangerously. Beast Boy, as usual, was the last one to recognize his folly.

"What's that supposed to mean!" Raven muttered acidly, and at last BB seemed to comprehend what he'd just spoken. His look of horror was way late, and Raven was walking toward the elevator in a huff before he could even halfway articulate an apology. Flash zipped ahead of her in a blur offering a gentlemanly elbow with an invitingly arched eyebrow. Raven inspected both for a moment, and then grudgingly linked her arm with his as they hit the call button, Flash's foot tapping in high-speed impatience. Beast Boy was still fumbling when the elevator dinged at their floor.

"Uh, Raven, that's not what I meant!" With a sigh, Raven held the elevator, glancing over her shoulder to silently ask 'then what did you mean?' "That is—I meant—I just didn't know you could clean up to look so…" staring at her from behind, perfect, milky skin highlighted by flesh-hugging black strips of her winding dress, he was at a total loss for words.

"Hot?" Speedy supplied, when he noticed the stall.

"Babalicious?" Flash gave it a try, and they launched into a spontaneous competition.

"Heart-meltingly gorgeous?"

"A tear-inducing delight for the senses?"

"Eye-candy of the most ecstatic degree?"

"An overpowering tour de'force of feminine charm?"

"Actually guys," Beast Boy finally found his stride, "I think I meant something like—" he twisted and bloated, and was suddenly an enormous timber wolf. The next moment, he threw his head back in a baying howl that sent shudders through its entire audience.

"Bravo!" "Well said!" Speedy and Flash clapped for his brilliantly articulated commentary.

"Would you all stop that!" Raven barked, blushing furiously. She turned her attention back to Beast Boy. "Well. Now you know." Without further comment, she hustled Kid Flash onto the elevator and let it close without turning around. Beast Boy was left with a crooked frown, scratching his head. He turned and looked a question at Speedy, who shrugged.

"That could have gone better," he sighed, picking a stray cashew out from behind his ear and munching on it. "Damn! If I only knew she could look like that when she wanted to… I might have made a move on her a while ago."

"HA!" Speedy gave that comment its due, earning a dirty look. "HA! Again." Now BB was just down, and Speedy shook his head. "Well dude, all I can say is: pray. Things may yet turn out with you getting a chance to pick her up on the rebound."

Beast Boy flipped him the bird and walked away.

"Okay, fine! Just be ready to pack it up and join me for the night's operation!" Speedy called after him.

When Beast Boy was gone, Speedy stood still for a moment twiddling his thumbs. Eventually, he sauntered over to the kitchen counter and withdrew a replica of his eradicated 35mm camera from its hiding place under a partially overturned breadbasket. Right where Flash had hidden it at his request earlier. Chuckling to himself, he held the camera close to his chest.

"Hellooo- Raven!" he said, oozing with self-satisfaction.

"Hellooo- Speedy!" Raven's voice came from behind and below him, and he practically jumped out of his skin. She emerged the rest of the way out of the floor with a look of easygoing fury etched under her makeup. "Come on—did you think I wouldn't notice a breadbasket tracking me across the common room making clicking noises?"

"Heh. Can't blame a chap for trying eh?" She matched his resigned smile with a rather mean one of her own.

"Sure I can!" The camera flew out of his hand and floated between them in a halo of black. A moment's concentration from Raven deconstructed the device down into its dozens of individual parts.

"Well, you got me! Now go on, you've got a rival to spite and a beau to win."

"Not quite yet." Speedy's blood chilled at Raven's self-satisfied expression. "First of all give me your digital backup."

"Digital whatnow?" Speedy lied through his teeth. "I'm afraid I haven't a clue what you're—" the digital backup unit jerked out of his belt and few instantly to Raven's outstretched hand. Speedy deflated like a popped soufflé.

"Don't worry, this is just an insurance policy. If you hold up your side of our little deal then there's a chance, albeit remote, that you'll get your little souvenirs here back."

"Really?"

"No." Raven caused the digital media card to disintegrate before his eyes, then blew him a kiss and morphed into a shadowy bird, vanishing into a swirl of black power. Speedy watched her go with a look of utter defeat.

After about a minute of waiting to make sure she was actually gone, he wiped that look off his face and sighed in contentment. Fiddling with his body armor revealed the wire leading from the ultra-high resolution micro spy camera in the weave of his chest plate down to the genuine digital memory unit secreted in a place that, regrettably, Raven was probably never going to go.

"Oh Raven," Speedy made tut-tut noises as he palmed his gold nugget, "You really need to brush up on the fine art of misdirection." He in particular treasured the probable panty shot he'd just scored from the high angle she'd assumed to grill him from. She must have forgotten she wasn't wearing a leotard this time. Too bad for her. "Right. Enough play, now its time to make some magic."

Robin and Star, Arrival

For transportation, Cyborg had readily volunteered to play chauffer. When the question of discretion had been raised by a nervous Robin, a Robin who still didn't know what the night's destination was going to be and was starting to sweat over it, the answer had been simple. In diffident response, Cyborg had smiled and pulled out his keychain. With the push of a button and a beeping sound, Cy's baby transformed from a custom arch-top hot rod into a candy-apple red mustang coup convertible. Er, really convertible.

A quick hologram latter, Cyborg was an enormous dude in a snazzy business suit sharp enough to not be completely put to shame by Robin. That took care of being recognized all right—no one would be expecting Teen Titans to look like they did right now, so pretending to be comparatively normal youths out for a ritzy night on the town would be… literally… child's play. Now if only Star would come clean about their itinerary, Robin could start to pretend to enjoy himself while he wasted away under the weight of guilt for stranding Raven.

This was around the time Starfire, who was sitting next to him in the back of the T-convertible, made a rather unexpected move. The first thing Robin realized, there was a hand on top of his where it was pressed into the seat between them. The next thing he knew, both of her arms wrapped around his and he'd been yanked mercilessly into full-on contact, oodles of bare tanned skin pressing into his suit as braided hair draped over his shoulder. He glanced over slowly, eyes wide, knowing what he was going to see but somehow unwilling to actually gaze upon it. He couldn't hold off the inevitable however, and he finally looked down at the blushing, angelic features couched on his shoulder. Robin melted like cheap margarine, his face flushing ever bit as deeply as hers.

It was suddenly so clear, and his nerves settled like they'd never been upset in the first place. Of Course! He loved Starfire. In fact, he loved her a lot! As that warm, comforting thought nested in his hindbrain, Robin suddenly felt like everything was right with the world. He had a beautiful woman who loved him decked out like every man's most elaborate dream (not the deepest dreams—those are way more simple and clearly not for public consumption) hanging all over him! What in the world was there to worry about?

That was the euphoric state of mind he'd achieved by the time Cyborg pulled up in front of the Chateau Blanc. The finest restaurant in Jump City, reservations backed up something like three months. Starfire, in defiance of her full-length skirt, hopped out of the back seat with what Robin suspected was more than a little help from her flight power. He'd had a chat with her about using their powers while they were incognito, and now he followed her out with easy agility. With a smile, he slid an arm around her waist and pulled her down a discreet two inches until her pumps contacted the ground. This had the not unpleasant side effect of placing his hand on the bare skin above her hips, and she made a small sound of pleased shock before wrapping her own arm around his waist and dragging herself flush against him. Robin gave Cy a signal and he flashed a thumbs up before peeling out up the casually busy streets.

"So… Chateau Blanc huh? I gotta say, I'm a little surprised. Impressed as hell, but a still a little surprised too. Just how—"

"Oh Robin," Starfire's eyes seemed to go slightly blank as her hand came up to press against her free ear, "I—That is, I have my ways. There is no need to worry about how I obtained permission to dine here tonight. I desired a 'date' location where extravagance would not seem out of place."

"That's good." Robin's brow furrowed in suspicion, "It's good to see you planning things out like that."

"Please Robin!" Starfire could smell his suspicion leaching away the good mood he'd finally fallen into when she applied Speedy's admittedly watered-down 'step three' advice. "Please." The powerful pleading in her voice brought Robin's natural caution up short. "Tonight is… it is my night, yes? I only wish to enjoy it with you."

Robin took one look at that expression, recalled the sensation buzzing along his entire body just from their embrace, and he relented. No doubt this night bore the influence of at least one of the guys satellite to his messy romance, but for Starfire at least, he could let the interference go. With a grudging look, he squeezed her closer and the two of them walked carefully (they were embracing so hard they might as well have been attached at the hip) up the rolling marble steps to the enormous glass doors in the even more enormous glass façade guarding entry to the vaulted building holding Chateau Blanc.

Titan's Tower Computer Room

Speedy checked his surveillance equipment one last time as he prepared for what he was pretty sure was going to be the most insanely difficult con he'd ever run. When he recalled that this was only day one of two, he got more than a little strung out, so he kept his mind off of that as best he could as he flipped switches and dials until the array of monitors displayed just what he wanted. Among the many views he was granted were included badly distorted first-person camera feeds from mini-transmitters he'd secreted on each of the operation's subjects. One feed watched Cyborg cruise around as he waited to pick up his charges. Three more gave varying views of a busy high-end restaurant. The last two feeds were blank, and this was driving Speedy nuts. The operation was beginning now—he'd already had to talk Starfire through assuaging Robin's ingrained suspicion—and Beast Boy still hadn't gotten the equipment into position.

"This is Blackfeather to Cyrano, how are we doing here? It's been too long." Raven's voice came straight and agitated from Speedy's number three audio feed, and he hurried to switch his mic's channel to three.

"Sorry Blackfeather, you're right. I was distracted checking my equipment, but you're very right. My sources say the bogie is in the house. Operation 'A Friendly Reminder' is go! Repeat-GO!"

"Ten-Four. Blackfeather out."

Speedy was on the clock now, and he switched to channel two with a nerve-calming deep breath.

"Come in Starry-eyed. Starry-eyed, we have a problem."

"Problem?" The line was muffled because the voice was a synthetic reconstitution of the sub-vocal whisper the LASH mic was picking up. Speedy could still hear the panic.

"Hey, hey, it's probably nothing. It's just that I've noticed that Raven isn't… uh… here. She might be up to something. Consider yourself warned."

"Acknowledged. I fear not—Raven would do nothing to risk Robin's ire the night before her own chance. Starry-eyed out."

Speedy shook his head, almost, but not quite, feeling bad about all of this. He switched to channel four.

"Animal Passion, come in! What the hell is taking so long with cameras five and six? If they're not online soon—and I mean stat—we're going to miss some of the all-time great reaction shots!"

Chateau Blanc Fire Escape

"Oh I know you're not hurrying me!" Beast Boy shouted into his elaborate radio headpiece. He was wedged onto a ladder with an enormous black case in both hands hanging beneath him. "Do you have any concept of how heavy this damn thing is? I just finished a cross-city wing sprint as a pterodactyl carrying they damn thing, so I know!"

"Hold that thought while I run and get my tiny violin! On second thought—just get the job done, okay? I friggen promise it'll be worth the effort. But hurry or we'll miss the whole thing."

"Yeah, yeah—GHHRRG!—" Beast Boy hauled the case up one last rung and onto the fire escape's midway landing. The building's fire door for its balcony seating was locked tight and secure, and Beast Boy's eyes turned to the second stretch of ladder. "I just cleared the first hurdle. I'm high enough up now that I can transform without sweating your no-powers jive—no one can see me up here. Just pull the stick out of your ass and chill—I've got this."

"Phew…" Speedy sighed into his mic as he recognized the sense in this. Then he cringed as he realized he'd just gotten good advice from Beast Boy and reflected upon how poorly he must be doing for that to be true. "Okay. I'm going to get act one all set up—you buzz me when you're in position. This… this is going to be goooood."

"Oh, it had better be." Beast Boy cut the line, his eyes on the stretch of wall he still had to scale with a hundred and fifty pounds of camera equipment on his back. In a molding and rolling of flesh, he was a three hundred and fifty pound green orangutan, and the next fifteen feet of ladder might as well have been an escalator.

Raven and Kid Flash, Balcony Table 16

"It's almost time." Raven whispered, one pale hand holding the side of her head over her ear and transformed hair. Her eyes were fixed on the enormous restaurant's huge glass front wall where the comparatively diminutive glass doors were tucked away. Her 'date' couldn't help but notice her distraction.

"Uh, almost time for what?" Flash tried to follow her gaze, but she shook her head and caught his eye with a small smile that left him quite unconcerned with what she might have said. Feminine smiles are kind of magical that way.

"Oh, so… Flash," Raven made a half-effort at conversation as her eyes continually flicked over toward the door, "I'm still a little shocked at how fast we got here. I mean, I can teleport about a mile on my best day, but you covered nine almost as quickly."

"Hey, what can I say?" Flash cocked both thumbs at his chest and grinned in what he hoped was a modest way, "fastest kid on Earth. What gets me is that I was carrying you at hyper-speed for something like a quarter-minute. I wear special clothing designed specifically to take that kind of punishment, so I wasn't worried about myself—hyper-speed collateral damage is a lesson I learned ages ago. That's what I was trying to warn you about when you, eh, insisted that we get there as quickly as possible."

"Mmmhmm?" Raven wasn't doing a particularly good job of faking attentiveness, and Flash was acutely aware now that she was focused on the doors.

"What I'm trying to say is—what exactly is that dress of yours made out of? That stuff didn't budge a single centimeter—at hyper speed! It didn't even wrinkle! How in the hell are you keeping that little thing in place?"

"What?" Raven's mind processed that question several times before she reacted. She was stunned out of her creeping observations at the door as she blushed, completely unfamiliar with a guy—a cute guy at that—taking a vested interest in the way her clothing was clinging to her curves. "Oh… well…" there was a whisper in her ear that genuinely saved her bacon, and she wedged her embarrassment into coy amusement as she answered, "we ladies have to have our little secrets."

Flash chuckled in amazement at how unspeakably beautiful the woman across the table was, genuinely intrigued by the cheesy line delivered so sincerely. Maybe that's why the next shock was so… well… shocking. A casual glance over to the doorway Raven had been so circumspectly keeping watch upon revealed a striking couple striding arm in arm a step behind the head waiter. The lady of the pair made Flash's breath catch in his throat, the choking sound quite audible as he double and then triple-took in an effort to confirm what he was seeing. The bulge of his eyes behind the sunglasses jerked Raven's attention hastily in the same direction, and she seemed to almost growl as her eyes flashed with a hint of… something dangerous.

"Eye Caraumba! Whatta babe!" Flash apparently didn't realize he was speaking out loud. "Ho mama—would you check out the curves on that one? Is that dress even legal?"

"Uh—Excuse me?" All the danger Raven had been unconsciously projecting over the balcony railing at the unsuspecting couple below was suddenly squarely on Flash's narrow shoulders. He clapped his hands over his mouth in a belated effort to save himself from his lightning-quick tongue, but that didn't avert one Fahrenheit degree of the boiling lava behind Raven's eyes.

"Eheh—let me rephrase that—"

Titan's Tower Computer Room

The sound of Speedy's laughter was underscored by the electric rasp masking BB's as it came in over the radio. Their concentrated snickering combined into a symphony of inconsiderate humor that, thankfully, the targets would ever know was aimed at them.

Chateau Blanc Rooftop

"Didn't I tell you?" Speedy shouted over the radio as he reviewed the reaction stills cameras five and six had captured of Raven and Flash post-contact. "Didn't I TELL you?"

"Oh man—remind me never to doubt you again bro—you called this one cold!" Beast Boy slowly calmed down as he watched the almost mystical way Flash assuaged Raven's uncommon rigor of fury. He was somewhat in awe as Raven slowly wound down to 'merely annoyed,' knowing that he himself wouldn't have gotten out of the situation without at least a minor grilling or a huffy cold shoulder.

There was a mechanical whirring sound as the two cameras Beast Boy had planted over the skylights turned on their gimbals and retrained on another part of the space below. He switched between his own feed of the camera and peeking down the sky light himself. He didn't want to miss this for the world. Right. Any minute now.

Titan's Tower Computer Room

Speedy's eyes never budged from their fixation on the monitors as he let his ear in on each and two emotion-strained conversations at once. Tipping off both women with choice advice was a delicate balancing act, and more than once he found himself on the wrong channel when he mentioned one sage comment or another. It wasn't too bad—both ladies were more than high-strung enough to overlook little inconsistencies in his coaching.

"Alright now Starry-eyed, you've got him hooked!" Speedy rasped as he watched the two stare goo-goo eyes at each other across the table. "So here's what I want you to do. Kick off your right pump and find his leg under the table…"

"Sure thing lover boy," an artificially husky, definitely male voice answered, then proceeded to burst into uncontrollable snickering. "Gee Romeo—I didn't know you cared!" The laughter came hard and fast after that, and Speedy switched from channel four to channel two as he faced down the blush. The only beneficial portion of the whole episode was that it pushed Speedy to realize that the time was actually ripe for the big sting. Here went everything.

Robin, Entry-Level Table 9

Robin had an incredibly exquisite meal in front of him, but his eyes were unconditionally focused on the optical delicacy cased across the table. For about an hour now—well, he didn't really have any concept of how much time had passed, but his food was here, and that spoke of quite a bit of water under the bridge in a joint like this. Anyway, for about an hour now (or whatever), they'd been chatting pleasantly about absolutely nothing, and he'd honestly never had such a fantastic time in his entire life. He was floating on a high of epinephrine and endorphins that kept his pulse up and his rear on the edge in a way quite unlike a life-and-death battle with a nut-job villain ever had. It was absolutely refreshing, and he found himself fascinated by both the sensation and the glowing, giggling, charming source of it as well.

As of this instant, Robin only had eyes for—

There was a resounding thump that shook the whole building, and Robin was up out of his chair halfway before he even realized what he was doing. All around the echoing of clinking glassware and shivering ceramics-laden tables mixed with sounds of guarded confusion from a hundred unpleasantly interrupted conversations. There was complete silence for a moment, and then everything went back to exactly how it had been. A slightly worried look from Starfire and even Robin sat back down, though his eyes still darted around the enormous restaurant looking for anything unusual. His searching passed over something unusual several times before it finally registered, but when it did…

Titan's Tower Computer Room

"Alright! Blackfeather, this is your cue! Go, go, go!"

Speedy switched channels.

"Starry-eyed, look out! What's up with the target?"

Chateau Blanc --Starfire

Robin looked up, and his eyes stayed their. Starfire heard the sound in her ear and saw the look on his face, and she panicked.

"Robin? Robin, what's wrong? What has disturbed you?" Starfire followed him out of his chair but received no response. He was completely focused on something, and was slowly walking further away from her. "Cyrano—what is this? What should I do?" Starfire struggled to keep her voice down as she watched Robin go from infatuated with her to staggering bug-eyed away from the table.

"I'm not sure—find out what he's looking at. Although I have a slight suspici—"

"Oh my Goddess X'hal!" Speedy's end of the line squealed as she shouted into a mic meant to pick up unvoiced larynx vibrations. On the other hand, he was quite positively aware that she'd made contact as much as Robin had.

"Aw great…" Speedy feigned passionate displeasure with ease, "what the hell is she doing there? Nevermind—look at the target! That's not good, Star, you have to get his attention back!"

Starfire nodded and snatched up Robin's arm by the elbow and wrist, giving it a squeeze that vented more than a little bit of her shock and sudden, gripping paranoia at spotting her rival where she definitely shouldn't be. She was certain she was cutting off the blood flow, and she did manage to stop his progress, though his feet continued to drag across the hardwood floor as though she weren't even there. She whispered various requests for cooperation and attention as she became acutely aware that she was the center of attention for more than a few tables.

Raven and Kid Flash

"So—I don't know if you've noticed this or not," Flash leaned forward as his voice lowered to something conspiratory, "But you've got to be the focus of attention for at least sixty percent of the people in here with testicles."

"What was that?" Raven was completely distracted by watching Robin stare stupidly at her over the balcony rail their table was right next to. The look on his face was priceless beyond any estimate, the combined shock and awe infinitely more than worth any drop of frustration or embarrassment this night had delivered thus far.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact," Now Flash's voice was little more than a whisper, "I'm pretty sure those two young women back at the table in the corner have been checking you out since we sat down."

"Oh? That's nice…" Raven let the mindless pleasantry slip out between her irrepressible smile before the content caught up with her. Her entire expression seized in shock and disgust as her gaze craned slowly and inexorably to the innocent smirk decorating Flash's good looks.

So it was, at the moment of truth, absolutely no one was paying as much attention as they should have been.

Rooftop

Beast Boy was completely absorbed in uncontrolled, body-shaking fits of sniggering as he looked down at the antics ongoing in the live theatre below. It was himself in the form of an elephant that had rocked the building to its very foundation and shaken Robin's gaze upward, and he tittered until his ribs ached when he finally saw the look on the pretty-boy's face.

Thus, the shadowed figure sneaking up behind him went unnoticed well beyond the point where he would have had a chance to react. Indeed, the first he knew of its presence was the pistol but contacting the base of his spine that also happened to be the sharply punctuated end to his laughter. He was rolled callously out of the way as an enormous gas tank with ominous warning labels stenciled over every inch of its surface was dragged into his place. Without hesitation, a blue-gloved hand set the feed to pump the contents of the tank into the restaurant.

Starfire

"Code Red, Star!" Speedy snapped into the line as he prepared to set his master plan into its final phase. "F.U.F. F.U.F!"

Starfire struggled to remember her list of code words, then blinked in mixed surprise and avenging delight as she recalled the correct response. Releasing Robin's arm, she cocked back her hand in a high arch and brought it whistling in on an aggressive path. The 'WHAP' sound that split the room brought a tear to many a man's eye as Starfire delivered Five Upside the Face in a classic closed-fingered backhand to her negligent date's lower jaw. Robin's head snapped around as his whole body followed in a wobbling pirouette, and he slumped forward into a disoriented sprawl all over an irate Starfire.

"Ow!" Robin mumbled rather shortly as he found his aching jaw nestled in the invitingly warm, bare crook of Starfire's neck. His stinging, smarting skin was nuzzled by a wreath of cool red braids, and his eyes wandered lazily upward until they caught sight of Raven again. Somewhat in possession of his wits this time, he had a somewhat more appropriate reaction. "Holy Crap! Is that… Raven?"

"Robin! What is the meaning of this behavior?" Starfire shoved him back, forcing him to regain his footing or land unceremoniously on his ass. The acrobat managed, barely, but almost wished he hadn't when he noticed the expression of deeply injured fury twisting his date's face. "I was under the impression that this entire endeavor was meant to exclude such distractions! Why—why are you looking at her!"

"Listen Star—I can explain—she just caught me off guard is all! I swear I—LOOK!"

Raven

"Oh Azar! I can't believe she actually hit him!" Raven murmured to herself as she struggled to suppress a chortle of satisfaction. Across the table, Flash cocked an eyebrow at her behavior and the antics down below just before his face screwed up in confusion.

"Raven… hey… do you smell that?" he asked, failing to even almost distract her from the scene developing over the balcony. He sniffed deeply, then his eyes flew wide in panic as he finally placed the scent. "Raven!" he burst up to his feet, "We have to bleh bleah mmbleh." Flash's warning trailed off as he lost fine motor function, then slumped to the floor in an unconscious heap.

This finally caught Raven's eye, and she leapt from her own chair in shock, none of which went unnoticed below. Her mind racing, Raven tried to recall everything she knew about speedsters like Kid Flash, wringing her memory for any wrinkle that might detail what had just happened. They move faster than us, they think a little faster than us, and they metabolize much faster than—It hit her like a right cross, and she covered her mouth and nose to hold her breath as she twisted over to face her allies on the floor below. She signaled frantically with one arm, but the signal turned into a sort of drugged swaying as she lost control and fell over with a loud thump.

Starfire

Starfire pulled back to hit Robin again when she saw the way he was staring over her shoulder at Raven, but the nimble brawler ducked under her arm and was on his way to the huge sweeping stairway up to the balcony floor before she could even decide where to thwack him next. She turned on her heel and launched herself into the air before she could consider the consequences, chasing him up to the second floor seating a half-second behind, her fists glowing green with furious energy. By the time she was there, he was already sliding into a kneel next to the fully-bedecked, and completely decked-out Raven. She gasped in shock, her fury sputtering out in a chilly wash of fear for her friend, and never even noticed the odor of the knockout nerve agent that was this moment dropping every diner on the second floor. The world went black as she saw Robin clutching at his face—already too late.

Titan's Tower Computer Room

"Starry-Eyed? Come in! Hello?" Speedy got no answer, just unintelligible skewed and shrouded camera feeds and static. He glanced over to check his wide angle camera that Beast Boy had set up, only to notice that it was showing a freeze frame and had been for nearly three minutes, if the feed clock was to be believed. Panic reached up and gripped Speedy's heart as he switched to the green man's channel. His whole body began to shake as he saw every facet of his plans go horribly, terrifyingly wrong.

"Animal Passion? Hey, can you here me? This is no time to be joking around damn it! Beast Boy?" Speedy broke radio discipline in his mounting desperation. Suddenly, when he thought he could get no more frightened, the camera feeds began to simply cut out to black one by one. In a frenzy, he switched to cover all channels.

"Robin! Beast Boy! Raven! Starfire!" he snapped in quick succession, "Can anybody hear me?" He paused as he listened to static, just as Robin's camera feed died, leaving every monitor blank. "Anybody?"

Future

I'm going to finish it, yeah. No other promises are forthcoming, but I can guarantee that it will arrive sooner if I know that people are actually reading this and actually want to hear the end. My vague plans include a completely over-the-top and unrealistic drama/angst blitz in the vein of this whole over blow production thus far. Who'll win out when the triangle falls over and becomes a line? Meh, maybe I'll flip a coin or something.