Author's Note: Very sorry for the long wait for this chapter! I've been doing a lot of traveling the past month and have been trying to post when I can. The story is finished - just a few chapters are left. Please leave me some feedback and let me know if you're enjoying the story ... or not! Authors love feedback, be it good or bad!
When McKay called Woolsey, Doctor Keller, and the rest of Sheppard's team into the conference room, the look on his face was so sober that no one said a word as they took their seats.
"I'm going to start with the good news," he began. "Doctor Keller and I found some information in the files from Janus' planet that might help us synthesize the drug and remove the device from Colonel Sheppard."
"It's going to take some time for us to figure things out, but I'm hopeful we should be able to start treatment by this evening," Keller added.
"I … also wanted to show you some files I discovered in the equipment that Teyla and Ronon took from Janus," McKay continued. "It's … hard to watch. But I thought you should all see it so you can understand the situation better."
McKay used a remote to turn on the viewing screen where they saw a view of the room that Ronon and Teyla had taken Sheppard from with the glass box.
"It looks like Janus kept meticulous files on everything," McKay said. "And after finding this, I think I can understand better why Colonel Sheppard is acting the way he's acting now."
McKay pressed the play button and they saw Janus' hologram flicker to life just before the doors opened. Several aliens entered the room, escorting a struggling Sheppard who was kicking and twisting and using any free limb to hit at his captors to no avail. The aliens, for their part, did not strike him, but patiently hauled him into the room, their grip never relenting as they laid him down on his side in the glass box, pinning him in place.
Janus approached him, standing at his side.
"Icarus, do you not remember me?" he asked.
"Hate to break it to ya," Sheppard panted, "but I'm not Icarus."
Janus' blue eyes turned grave. "Atlantis has truly changed you. I cannot believe they would go to such lengths to break you. You were their greatest General and did so much for our people."
"Who are you?" Sheppard demanded.
Janus smiled sadly. "Your uncle, Janus. But don't worry, Icarus. I'll help you remember who you are."
Sheppard renewed his struggles. "What if I don't want to remember?"
Janus knelt down next to the box and spoke softly, "You have to remember, Icarus. Without you we cannot defeat the Wraith. Atlantis could never completely handle them so they simply fled their problems. But they had the power within them all along. They just needed someone to lead them. And now that I've found you, we can renew the fight. I've been working on several weapons and have created this army for you to lead. All you have to do is remember."
Janus stood and nodded to one of the aliens who lifted a device from the console and touched it to the device on Sheppard's back. Sheppard jerked under the aliens' grip, then screamed, and McKay paused the video.
"It goes on for several minutes," he said quietly. "But there's more."
He changed the video to what appeared to be another day. This time, Sheppard was brought in, kicking and struggling once again, but bloodied and clearly injured. He was also trembling uncontrollably. Once again, he was pinned inside the glass box and Janus approached him.
"It was a great victory today," Janus said, sounding pleased. "You have done well, Icarus."
"I'm … not … Icarus," Sheppard snarled.
"But you fought like him. Your brothers tell me you stood against the Wraith as though you were an army unto your own. That is the Icarus that I remember — the one who destroyed the entire fleet of At'um in moments, sparing no mercy."
"My name is John Sheppard," Sheppard shouted. "I'm not Icarus and I want you to get this damn thing off of me!"
Icarus smoothed his hand over the device on Sheppard's back, his image flickering.
"I know you are grieving the loss of your family," Janus said. "This has caused great confusion in your mind. I am only trying to help you."
"Stop helping!" Sheppard roared, and this time, his struggles managed to dislodge some of the hands holding him down and he surged off the table, lunging for Janus. When he passed through the hologram, he looked surprised for a moment, but then continued with his momentum for the door.
The aliens easily caught him and hauled him back to the table, holding him down more firmly this time. The trembling in his body was starting to turn into shaking, and he was starting to lose control of his limbs.
Janus approached him again, his face sad. "My dear boy, stop struggling. I am only here to help you. I can make you forget everything that Atlantis and our people have done to you, if you like. I just want my nephew back."
Gasping and fighting, Sheppard protested with a sharp "No!" as one of the aliens again pressed the device from the console to the device on his back. The shaking turned into convulsions under the hands holding him, his eyes rolling back in his head, jaw clenched and hands contorted.
McKay paused the video again. Teyla looked away, biting her lip, her eyes angry but filling with tears. Woolsey twisted his hands together, his brow furrowed. Ronon's hands were clenched into fists, barely containing his anger. Lorne sat stoically silent but seething in rage, and Keller could barely contain her shock beside him.
"How many of these videos are there?" Woolsey asked quietly.
McKay sighed. "Seventeen. Whatever Janus was doing to him wasn't working all that well — at first. Every time they brought him in he was either confused or seemed to be the Sheppard that we know. I think … I think Janus was trying to unlock some kind of genetic memory. Sheppard's ancestor was probably Icarus himself, which is why Janus' Stargate trap worked on his specific genetic code. Initially, when Janus would 'reset' Sheppard it only seemed to work for a few days at a time. The intervals between the videos where he's more confused become longer towards the end so it appeared that the device was starting to work better."
"So are you saying all we need to do is wait it out?" Lorne asked.
"Unfortunately, no," McKay replied. "We saw what happened last time with the withdrawal. In the last video he also started going into convulsions when Janus activated the device, which we think means it was depleted. It seems that when he comes back from these … missions that Janus sends him on, the device needs to be recharged and reset. It's like he uses the drug up faster."
"It makes sense," Keller said. "If the device is meant to make him stronger, faster, and with the ability to heal quickly, it would have to be used up more quickly if he was fighting. He tried triggering it earlier here by injuring himself."
"Does that not mean that he will return to himself soon?" Teyla asked.
McKay shrugged. "I'm not sure. The interludes between Janus' sessions with him were varied. There was no pattern to it except for the fact that they always seemed to have to bring him in after he'd been injured."
"I'm pretty sure I busted some of his ribs yesterday," Ronon quietly said.
"It may not have been enough," Keller answered gravely.
"Do you know more about this Icarus?" Woolsey asked.
"From what I can tell, the Ancients completely wiped him from their history," McKay began. "They nearly did the same with Janus, but I think they kept a small file on him as a warning. They didn't need anything on Icarus as he was a general, not a scientist. From the sessions I've seen with Sheppard, Icarus traveled to Earth on a mission from Atlantis sometime after the time Ra spent on Earth. He made a life for himself in Greece, married, had kids, and seemed to have a happy life there. Then the Ancients summoned him for what his true mission was, which seemed to be that he was on Earth to destroy another enemy that Janus never names. I don't think it was the Goa'uld, the Replicators, or the Wraith. As of yet, it's some unknown enemy. Icarus managed to defeat this enemy by flying them into the sun, which is probably where we get a fragment of our Greek myth from today. But because the Ancients don't condone worship of themselves, he was forced to leave Earth and never return or else be worshipped as a god. He had to leave his wife and children and it … devastated him. From what Janus said to Sheppard, it seemed that it changed Icarus so much that he became one of the Ancient's most powerful generals. He wiped out entire fleets of Goa'uld ships, including At'um who was System Lord before Ra. Icarus became so feared that even the Ancients condoned him. They banished Janus and then I believe that — based on Sheppard's comments later in the videos — they … executed Icarus. Janus doesn't appear to acknowledge this as I'm not sure when he created the hologram — probably before Icarus' death. He's very insistent that Sheppard is Icarus."
McKay was quiet for a long moment, and no one else in the room said anything until Woolsey finally broke the silence.
"It's clear to me that Colonel Sheppard was not compromised," he said firmly. "From these two files you have shown us, he fought with every part of his being against the enemy. He was forced to take over Atlantis and would never have done so if he had been in his right mind."
Ronon nodded. "Sheppard would never betray us."
"Do any of the other files reveal more information?" Lorne asked.
Reluctantly, McKay answered, "They are mostly the same. Sheppard being dragged in, either confused or against his will, Janus has a conversation with him trying to remind him that he's Icarus, then they use the healing box and-or the device on his back to get him back under control. I can make the files available for anyone to see but they are … difficult to watch."
Teyla was sitting near McKay and laid her hand on his arm. "We do not need to see more, Rodney," she said gently.
McKay visibly deflated. Watching a friend being tortured and mentally manipulated was not something he had ever thought he would have to go through. Being forced to watch that same torture and manipulation multiple times — even for the purposes of information gathering — was something he and everyone else in the room would rather avoid.
"This is valuable information I can forward to Stargate Command," Woolsey said, standing and straightening his jacket. "Hopefully they will understand our situation and sanctions will not be brought against Colonel Sheppard."
"Sanctions?" Ronon questioned harshly. "He was coerced! He didn't do anything."
"Unfortunately, the SGC can be quite … shrewd when it comes to situations such as ours," Woolsey admitted. "And also unfortunately, the Colonel has a black mark on his record which puts him under more scrutiny than most."
"Was his black mark not forgiven when he was given Atlantis as a military command post?" Teyla asked.
"Of course," Woolsey answered quickly. "But it still stands on his record. The SGC considers him a bit of a wild card, so we will have to be careful in how we address our current situation with them. I have a scheduled meeting with them later in the week and will let you know how it goes. Dr. McKay, please forward me the files so I can share them with the SGC and form my full report."
As Woolsey exited the room, he paused at the door, looking back at Sheppard's despondent team.
"Everything will be alright," he said softly. "I'll make sure of it. Colonel Sheppard is the best military commander the people of Atlantis have had the honor of serving under. I have the utmost respect for him and for all of you and will do my best to make sure that Stargate Command understands this as well."
He was starting to slip into a fog of confusion. Time had taken away his sense of focus. The mission was edging further and further away as he fought to free himself and wondered why Janus and his brothers had not come to rescue him.
After his first escape attempt, they stopped taking blood. He knew that they thought it was too dangerous. Maybe he shouldn't have threatened a soldier's life. Maybe he should have taken a more conniving approach, let them trust him, and then slipped through their defenses.
But that wasn't how he had been trained.
He remembered long ago when he had to make that choice — family or duty. He struggled over his choice for eons afterwards, knowing that he should have chosen family over duty. Especially because he had never been given the chance to say goodbye.
But living in the past was not what a soldier did. Duty was all that mattered now.
He had to do everything he could to escape and complete the mission. Everything. Even sacrifice his own life if it came down to it.
But he was never given another chance to escape.
One day, all of the soldiers left the room, leaving him alone. Moments later, the flash of the Wraith stunner enveloped the cell, repeating the blast over and over until he could no longer stand.
When he had finally collapsed on the floor, soldiers rushed into the room with a gurney, strapping him down until he could not move.
And then Ronon was there with his blaster, and he knew no more.