Author's Intro:

While I'm starting to write this, I'm thinking "Damn, it must of hurt like shiz to get your feet binded!" . The tradition in China/Japan (I think Japan was included, but I'm not sure) was to soak girls' feet before breaking and molding them in terrible ways (I have a whole book on it; the bare feet pics ARE NOT pretty). This was to make their feet soft so shaping them would be easier. Sometimes, in certain areas of the country, the people would cut open a live sheep's stomach and PUT THE GIRL'S FEET IN IT! While the poor thing was still alive, too. . EWWWWWWW!

But enough of E's gross learning. I like learning about stuff like that, which is odd. I don't like the fact that it happened, but I love learning about the past in that context. T.T

Blah blah Disclaimer….blah blah. Yeah.

"Hey, Kagura-chan, is that….Haru and Kyo over there?" Yuki asked, squinting to see figures in the distance more clearly. "It has to be them! Look at their hair!"

"I think so! And there's….Shii-chan, Tohru-kun, Momiji-kun, and….someone else. An elderly lady in….oh….ew," Kagura finished, seeing the Spandex on Oprah. "I think Tohru-chan sees us! Wave your arms! We need help!" The pair raised their arms up, and soon saw the group far away get on top of….something….strange.

"A donkey?"Yuki, amazed, stated.

"I-I think so!"

"It's…tail….it's….FALLING!" Yuki yelled, grabbing the Boar's hand and running. Indeed, Eeyore's pinned on giant tail had started to fall off, right when he was above them. The pin landed right into the ice, causing a huge crack that grew….and grew….

"Nooo! My army of vampire minions!" Rupert cried in agony, as a few of the people slipped and slid across the ice, landing safely in the snow.

Meanwhile, the Sohma's finally were all together again, along with Eeyore, Tohru, and Oprah. But Tohru's practically a Sohma now anyways, right?

"Rupert! My pet Lemur! How DID you get out of your cage?" Oprah suddenly yelled across the pond. "We can't have you get out of your cage with that World Domination disorder, can we? Plus, it seems that you've made an attraction for blood, as well. This can't be healthy…just c'mon.," Oprah coaxed. Bared teeth from Rupert was the response.

"I WILL NOT come back! I hated those prissy pink pillows and bonnets! Vampires suit me better. You see, I met this young teen….goes by "Buffy", and I saw what she was fighting. They looked so…cool and EVIL! So I killed her and now, I have my minions. But you're not supposed to know that…." Rupert explained.

"Ah, so THAT'S how it happened. Veeery interesting……" Oprah thought aloud.

"But now I shall kill you! Haha! Servants…..attack!" Rupert screamed, pointing at the gang. Oprah flicked out her ninja stars and took a fighting stance. She ran…and……

"Oi! No weapons are allowed on this rink!" A fat man in a police suit came running up to the scene. "I'll have to arrest both of you! …..Oh! Ms. Oprah! I'm sorry…..but I will have to arrest this…..little fuzzy thing. Yes, yes."

"Yes, thank you, sir! And protect the rights of women!" Oprah happily yelled after the man.

"Uh….sure…." he mumbled, bagging the struggling animal. He put it into the police car, got in, and drove off, his siren playing "Oops, I did it Again" all the way back to the Police Station.

"Well, that's taken care of!" Oprah concluded. "And, for your help, I want you all to come to my Ball tomorrow night!"

"Yes, Oh-per-uh-san!" Tohru and Momiji exclaimed in unison. Everyone else took a bit longer to react to the sudden invitation, but eventually showed the sign of "yes" being the answer. Nobody wanted to get sliced to pieces. But there was one that didn't yet agree….one that was too stubborn…and that one was Kyo Sohma.

"Why should I go to some weird dance that I don't care about?" He exclaimed, stepping through the crowd to get to the woman.

"Because, Kyo, you'll get to see Tohru in a pretty dress! And you could DANCE with her!" Momiji yelled from the crowd. Kyo's face turned red.

"Stupid Rabbit…." He muttered under his breath.

"AND.." Oprah started menacingly, "because I shall use you as a dartboard if you don't! C'mon, I'm getting a reputation here! This'll be on T.V.!"

"It will be on television?" Shigure asked slyly, slicking his dark hair back and not giving Kyo a chance to respond. "Then we MUST attend this wonderful Ball! Come on now, I have to buy you all nice clothes! Hatoriiii! I need you to give us a ride home!" The Dog yelled to the air.

"Just use my cell phone, Gure-san!" Ayame popped up from the crowd.

"WHEN DID YOU GET HERE!" Kyo yelled at the Snake.

"Oh…just now. I had some trouble getting that filthy woman to stop trying to bite my neck. She had terrible teeth! Just like fangs!" He responded in a matter-of-fact kind of voice.

"God….damn…you are stupid," Kyo grumbled at the grey haired man.

"Ooo! Aaya! I would be honored to use your phone. My love for you expresses that gratitude!" Shigure richly spoke, dialing in the Dragon's number on Aaya's mobile phone.

"Let me talk, Gure-san!"

"Yes, Aaya."

"Hello?" Hatori's voice sounded through the cell phone.

"Tori-san! It's me, your beloved Ayame!" Aaya drawled, waving his hands and arms grandly while speaking into the phone.

"Yes, what do you need?" Hatori stated blandly.

"We need a ride home, Tori-san! We are stranded!" Ayame cried.

"Okay. Kisa's almost sober, so I'll be there soon."

"What? Kisa got drunk?" Aaya said a little too loudly.

"No. Goodbye."

-Click-

Author's Closing:

Shweet! Now, if I can, I'll post this WHILE I'm in Japan. Hehe…. xD

Thanks to everyone who reviews and reads this nonsense! Hope it was funny, though... .

Sayonara!

E.