Ah, yes my-

"Pal," Cid began,

What?

"You, uh… kinda forgot to put the GODDAMN AUTHOR'S NOTES TITLE IN!"

…we're picky today, aren't we?

"Hell yes!" Cid replied angrily, "You've been #$$#in' VACATIONING while you left a GODDAMN cliffhanger! DAMMIT! You haven't even #$#$in' told ME what's #$$#in' gonna $#$#in' happen! DAMMIT!"

Calm do-

"Don't you $#$$in' tell me to $&$#in' calm do-"

Author's Notes

"$$#$in' better."

Yes, my loyal fans, I have returned… WITH A VENGENCE!

…getting less reviews…

…walls closing in…

…dammit, people, I'm just used to being swamped in reviews!

…review again…

…please?

End Author's Notes

Amarant zipped off.

"Stand back, Coral! He shall sample my great and powerful Bran Ball type attack thingies! He shall burn under the fearsome fearsomness of my almighty…" Zidane paused for dramatic affect… "TWIN MONKEY STYLE ATTACK!"

Crickets.

"Let's see, first I'll cut the genitals off..." The dragon replied thoughtfully.

"Never insult me in such an insulting way, fiend! I am a loose cannon ready to kill! Amarant, for your own safety, stand back! And don't use any of your…" Zidane looked up at the dragon and inspected it more carefully. "-powerful ninja throwyish… kinda… techniques to instantly end this battle or anything… at all… please…?" He looked around. "Yeeeeeah…" he muttered to himself. "Well, it was fun… buuuut…" he turned to the dragon. "Gottago!" he shouted quickly as he disappeared in a cloud of dust.

Meanwhile…

Amarant was running down the forest path, and then decided to slow down slowly in a slowish fashion, until he ultimately stopped and turned around. "Stupid monkey. I'll kill him if the damnable dragon don't." He turned and found a signpost. "You have left the Forest of the Dragons. You are now-" At this point, there was a giant arrow pointing at the ground. "In the Haunted Forest of Painful, Itching, Burningly Agonizing and Ultimately Painful and Wickednesslyish Death." Amarant scratched his head thoughtfully. "Hmm… wonder what the name means."

He continued to walk until he came upon a small boulder. "Wait… this place seems extremely familiar…" he looked at the boulder. "Well, I'll find out if I'm goin' in circles." He marked the rock with an "X". He continued walking…

…and found the rock with an "X". "I seem to be going-" he looked past the boulder, and found thousands of other boulders with "X's" on them. "-insane?"

He plopped down on the ground and thought. "Well, since this is a Haunted Woods, maybe its magic is trying to speak to me?" he said to himself. He got up, picked up another stone, and marked an "M" on one of the blank boulders ahead. He began his march in a circle again. "Sometimes I'm so clever I fool myself." He muttered to himself as he turned around the bend…

…and found four boulders lined up together spelling out the word "moop". Amarant sighed. "Oh come on! Moop isn't even a word!"

He punched a tree in anger, and then shook his hand in pain.

Meanwhile, Zidane was more or less having the same problem.

"Dammit, look, you stupid rock, Me Zidane," he pointed to himself, "You Rock. Now repeat, Me- dammit, say ME! Not moop!" Zidane hung his head in shame. "I am not a monkey, dammit!" He sighed, turned around, and left. "Not only am I lost, but this forest is playing tricks with my mind. Freya and that old man both said this was supposed to be an easy quest… maybe I should just cut my losses, ditch Amarant, and get out of here?" He sighed and hung his head again. "I wish there was someone here to ask directions…"

Standing behind Zidane was a large, pissed off, territorial, male Behemoth with no temper for stupid monkey-men in his forest. 'Hmm… me squish puny human. Make funny squishy sound.' It thought, and Zidane turned around. "Well, speak of Garland! I was just thinking how nice it would be if there was someone here to give me directions! I was startin' to think I was doomed! You see, my friend Freya sent my other friend and I to fetch her a magical pointy kinda stick thingy, I think she called it a spear, but anyway! So we were sent here and we kinda got lost, and this huge dragon thingy appeared, and I kinda challenged it to a duel… then I ran… but anyway! Y'know, for a low-level quest, this sure is hard."

'Puny human funny. Me squish head slowly. That funny, too.' The Behemoth thought.

"Frankly, you're the first friendly face I've seen in here." Zidane said cheerfully.

'Then me eat puny monkey human. Monkey human heart taste like chicken. Me get spork.' The Behemoth continued mapping out his dinner.

The Behemoth heard a small squish sound behind him and turned while Zidane was still talking with his back turned to the giant. The Behemoth looked down and saw a small, green slime. "Meep…" the small thing squeaked at the giant.

It advanced.

It jumped, grew in size…

…until it was twice the size of the Behemoth, then ate him before he could utter a single moan. Then it shrank back to its original size. "Meep!" it meeped happily, and burped.

Zidane turned around. "So that's how I got he---hey! Where'd the big guy go? Seems like everyone gets lost here, even the ones who weren't even going anywhere." He looked down at the small green slime. "Oh well. Are you hungry, little guy?"

The slime smiled wickedly. He lunged for Zidane. "I just happen to bring along an extra cookie…" the slime stopped. "Do you want my cookie?" The slime beamed happily. "Meep!" he gobbled the cookie greedily. "Gee, you must not get to eat a lot around here, do you?"

"Meep."

"I bet you want another cookie!"

"Meep!"

Zidane searched his pockets. "Uh-oh." He turned back to the slime. "I seem to be out of cookies, little guy…" The slime leered angrily at Zidane. "Can I interest you in some trail mix instead?"

"Meep." Slime replied in a very pissed off manner.

"But we can still have fun without cookies! Look what I can do!" He began dancing happily in circles. "Meep!" the slime retorted boastfully, and took on Zidane's full-sized shape.

"Show-off…"